Tifa lay in bed in a drowsy but still awake state feeling slightly guilty over Sephiroth's expression at what she had said in her anger, her abortion was scheduled for tomorrow morning and the child she longed for was to be removed from her.
If it had been from any other man, would she have kept it as Sephiroth had asked her? She reasoned she would have even if it meant losing Cloud forever. She found herself dwelling on how human the child would be, she didn't know the exact makeup as Sephiroth. Was it possible it would be mainly human, could she really abort a tiny, helpless baby?
Then she thought about how he had been at the height of his insanity, the constant smirks, the taunts. Yes she could, she resolved and punched her pillow and turned over in an attempt to sleep. She sensed movement and turned to find a dark figure looming over her, she went to get into defensive mode when she realized the person had green glowing eyes. She reared up and head butted him and she felt a small bit of satisfaction that he grunted at this and then she was up and off of her bed and running in the direction of Cloud's room in her bare feet. However, she was seized from behind and bodily lifted and a leather gloved hand muffled her cries of protest as her bare feet struck uselessly at leather covered legs. Sephiroth, it had to be him, she thought, at his signature green glowing slit pupiled eyes, His trademark uniform, but why was he attacking her?
It happened in an instant, it was like something was forced into her body and she could feel her limbs going lethargic. Her panic fought against the growing grogginess she felt, but soon she surrendered to sleep.
Sephiroth lay her on her bed, taking in her brief camisole and booty shorts and wondered if she had any clothes that covered her navel. She was certainly going to need warmer clothes where they were going and was glad he had been right in his guesses at her sizes as he pulled her garments aside enough only to reveal what the tag read size wise; they did coincide with what he had already bought for her.
He had knocked her out with a spell cast from his body and had to learn how to do this, the way he normally did the spell was intended to kill someone, not knock them out. It was a risk he had had to take, chloroform could have damaged the fetus and simply knocking her out with violence was out for the same reason. Leaving her lying comfortably on her bed, he made a circuit of her room and found a duffle bag and packed it with the sturdiest garments he could find in her wardrobe. He then added lots of her panties and only the necessary toiletries for her, mainly her toothbrush and hairbrush, ignoring all her makeup.
He looked under her sink, certainly she wouldn't need feminine hygiene products he reasoned.
He then pulled a pair of sweats over her sleep outfit and added the thick socks he had brought with him. Then wrapping her comforter around her, he judged her warm enough to get where they were going. He placed the note he had forged in her handwriting on the bed, telling of an emergency in a far off place to throw her friends off their trail. He hooked her duffle bag over one arm, bundled her in his arms and flew out her open window, bound for Icicle.
Cloud woke up and went to find Tifa, he couldn't find her downstairs so knocked on the door to her room and frowned when she didn't reply. He waited a respectful amount of time and then opened the door, apologizing as he did so.
He found her note and wondered why she hadn't simply woken him up before going to visit a sick friend in North Corel.
Yes she looked like she had packed because her ratty old duffle bag she always traveled with was gone and lots of her clothes were missing and her more important toiletries. But it made no sense.
How would she have even gotten there in the middle of the night? Cid hadn't given her a ride and had chewed Cloud out for waking him up so early while Shera's voice chided for him to "be nice" in the background. He had continued with his string of insults, some even directed at Cloud's mother and her fondness for multiple bed partners, before Cid realized that Tifa was actually missing and said they both were going to come over and for Cloud to call the others. Tifa was a very reliable person who would never worry someone by going away without letting everyone know.
He searched her room for clues but found nothing, but knew instinctively that something was wrong, mainly that her bed was unmade. Tifa always made her bed every morning as was part of her ritual and would never leave it in the state it was now.
What had happened to her? He couldn't find her wallet or her PHS, which naturally Sephiroth had thought to bring along and hide.
Cloud searched her room even more thoroughly and finally went into her wastepaper basket, feeling like a snoop, but wanting to find why she might have left or had been abducted. He frowned when he found a paper bag with the name of their local pharmacy on it. It seemed to have been deliberately shoved to the bottom under other more innocuous litter.
He opened the bag and his mouth fell open in shock to discover many positive pregnancy tests. He could only stare at each one as he lined them up until he counted ten in total, each with a blue plus sign on it. But what did it mean? It had been easily five years since he and Tifa had slept together, feeling it not fair to her with his fractured memories and tormented thoughts that often drove him from their shared home. Tifa didn't have any lover that he knew of, so then how could she possibly be... He certainly wouldn't have stood in the way if she had taken a lover and wouldn't have blamed her, if she wanted to marry him and have a family with. Certainly Cloud had kept her waiting for a long time. But if she had taken a lover, she would have told him, she would have introduced him to their friends. To be furtive wasn't in her nature. She was honest to a fault and completely transparent with people. No this was something different, something darker if she felt she needed to hide it.
With concern for her niggling in his belly, he called the others to see if they had clues as to her whereabouts and then called Rufus, who surprised him by already being awake and agreed to come right over, saying he had information for him.
AVALANCHE showed up looking all blurry eyed with dragging tails, expect for the always immaculately ratty Vincent and the neatly turned out Tseng who accompanied a equally immaculate Rufus, who looked way too cheerful for that time of morning as the other people present gulped down coffee that made Cloud keep restarting the coffee pot. Each person had their chance to speak, no one had noticed anything suspicious about the bar owner's behaviour and were flabbergasted when presented with the pregnancy tests.
"Perhaps she's helping a pregnant woman escape her husband because she's being abused by her spouse?" Cid ventured.
"She would have told us" Cloud said.
"Yuffie, do these belong to you? Is she helping you somehow? You can tell us. We won't judge you" Cloud said to her, grasping at straws.
"You did not just go there! Of course not; I'm saving myself for marriage" she said in outrage and looked poignantly at Vincent, he didn't even acknowledge her look and seemed to be lost in thought himself.
"She's pregnant, she came to have it confirmed at the WRO medical unit. I assumed it was yours" Rufus said, looking at the muscular blonde man.
"It isn't" he flatly told him. "Tifa isn't the easy sort, if any of you slept with her, please admit it now. You're all my friends and I will step aside if you promise to do right by her" Cloud said looking at the men.
"It's not Cid's I would kill him" Shera insisted.
"Shit woman, as if she would want an old fuck like me" Cid argued.
"Tifa's like another daughter to me" Barret said.
"I view Tifa as being only a colleague" Vincent said, feeling all eyes on him as the most likely culprit and returned their questioning looks with his own calm carmine gaze.
Finally everyone looked at Rufus and Tseng.
"My personal life if you must know, does not include women" Rufus stated.
Tseng eyes actually went a tad wider than normal at their scrutiny. "I know Tifa only a causal basis, I have never had relations with her. I'm a married man in fact" he explained.
Everyone looked shocked at this information, none even knew his sexual preference and certainly never saw him with any lover, either male or female and he wore no wedding ring. Talk about being able to keep a secret! They all stared at him, waiting for him to explain his last statement and provide them with details as to who his mysterious spouse was. He just stared back at them in a guarded way and they realized that none were forthcoming. So they turned their attention back to the problem at hand with a shrug of their mental shoulders.
As if on cue, a beautiful caramel skinned women with a mouthwatering curvy figure, large dark eyes and dark curly hair that reached the middle of her back stepped into the room wearing a TURKS uniform, "Director, I know you asked me to wait in the car, but I have to use the washroom" she said.
"I completely understand Sai" Tseng said. "My business here is nearly through and then can go to the department store as you requested" he said.
"Good because the sale for those blue peacock feather patterned drapes I want for the living room ends today" she reminded him and her familiarity with her supposed superior quickly clued everyone into what they true relationship was, as much how Tseng's normally stern features softened slightly when he looked at her.
"The washroom is just through that door, Mrs. Xu" Cloud said on impulse.
"Thanks" she said, not even catching herself when she did.
"Sai? Isn't that the new girl who was hired about six months ago and who promoted as your partner?" Rufus asked him.
"Yes she's very good at her job" Tseng observed in a neutral sounding voice.
"And her job would be picking out curtains for your living room?" Cloud returned.
"My private life is simply that; private" Tseng replied, narrowing his eyes at them. "Now if you will excuse me, there is somewhere I need to be" and departed.
"See you in the WRO medical chamber soon" Rufus called after him.
"Does anyone have any clue as to who could be the father of her child?" Cloud demanded of them at large after they had left.
"I don't want to be pointing fingers, but Sephiroth had an odd reaction to seeing her there" Rufus said. "He called her Tiffany."
"Rufus, I think you had better explain how you knew about her pregnancy when the tests are supposed to be confidential and how Sephiroth happened to be there in the medical unit" Cloud demanded.
"It seems to be a coincidence" Cloud said upon hearing Rufus's explanation. "He probably just mixed her up with another girl."
"He seemed to be following her out" Rufus said with a frown, remembering how Sephiroth had all but sprinted after her while saying a hasty goodbye. It could be nothing, but somehow it seemed significant to the ever suspicious Rufus.
"I'm sure it's nothing" Cid said dismissively. "As if Tifa would let him come within ten feet of her"
Tifa woke up to see snow swirling down onto her skylight, the view would have been peaceful but she had no skylight, the bed was comfortable and the duvet warm and inviting but it wasn't her bed, this one was king sized with what looked to be a homemade wooden headboard and footboard. The exposed beams looked like the inside of a log cabin and although the room was cozy with a fire going in the fireplace, she had no clue where she was or how she had gotten there. She got out of bed and frowned to find herself wearing a long, practical flannel nightgown. She took a few steps towards the door when it flew open and she was pinned to the bed before she even registered it, her tiny wrists pinioned over her head by large pale hands and Sephiroth loomed over her, yet he didn't look threatening, he was merely just holding her in place.
"What have you done to me? Where am I?" She demanded.
"I did nothing to you but put you under with a mild sleep spell and changed you into pajamas more suited to my place. I had my eyes closed while I did this, you have my word as a gentleman. It's very simple, if you are going to attempt to murder my child, you are going to become a guest here for the duration of your pregnancy. You shall not be harmed in anyway. I shall take care of you and see to any needs you have, but you are not having this abortion. I want this child, shouldn't my rights as its father matter? Now get dressed and then I show you around" he said opening a drawer and tossing clothes towards her.
She glared poignantly at him. "I shall wait outside of the door, you have five minutes or do you want me to dress you?" He questioned her with a leer before closing the door behind him that caused her to spring into action. She met him wearing a teal blue sweater and jeans that fit her perfectly...and a look on her face that would have made a lesser man feel nervous. He did not look cowed. He wore a black sweater and dark grey combat pants. With his hair back in a braid, he looked quite normal and not the mad leather clad General. Tifa found herself being mildly surprised he wore other clothes or even owned any besides his uniform.
"You kidnapped me!" she demanded of him.
"I took you on as a guest" he corrected her. "Now come, here you will find any sharp objects in the place kept in here" he said indicating to a safe. "Only I know the combination and it's not written down anywhere."
"I'm immune to the effects of all poisons, including those residing in common household cleaners, so don't bother trying to poison me. I don't sleep soundly; the slightest noise can disturb my slumber, so don't bother trying to run away. I do have a snowsuit for you, but it gets bitterly cold during the night and even wearing it, you would most likely freeze to death or close to that before I find you and I will find you and when I do, I shall take you to bed with both of us naked to raise your temperature with my own body warmth. There is a road that runs beside the cabin but the nearest neighbour is thirty miles away and is loyal to me and shall detain you and return you to me because he believes you to be my beautiful but mentally deranged wife. I don't own a phone of any description, I communicate only through the internet on my computer and that is password protected. Finally, the truck outside won't start for you, you need a retinal scan in order to make it work and the eye must be alive. Don't go getting idea. I rarely need to go out, so can stay right here with you and I can take you with me when I do leave. So you shall remain here with me, I already found a ob-gyn in town to monitor your pregnancy, she also thinks we're married and you shall say nothing to her to dissuade her of this notion. Any questions?" He asked her facetiously.
"I won't submit to this" she cried. "You can't keep you here with you. I shall escape or my friends shall find me."
"No one knows I live here except some other members of SOLDIERS who are loyal to me and know how the outside world views them and other people who came here for any reason that makes them not blend into normal society, picture this as a town made for circus ex-sideshow members. No one will think to look for you here, no one knows of our connection or the identity of your child's father, if anyone knows of your pregnancy at all besides Rufus, the doctor, yourself and myself. You can safely give birth here, give me our child and then go back to your normal life. That is what is going to happen" he concluded.
"Why are you so gung-ho on being a father? You want to experiment on it and create another SOLDIER program?" She said and actually felt bad when he flinched at this.
"I'm not Hojo, I would never harm a child of my blood or any child. I have no one in this world, is it so wrong for me to want family? I shall raise it alone if I have to, this child shall have a proper childhood attending the best schools, have friends, do after school sports and do all of the things..." He said and suddenly he stopped as if he were revealing too much.
"I'm sorry I said that" she said and even under the circumstances, meant it.
"I don't need your pity. Breakfast shall be fifteen minutes, have your shower or do whatever you need to do. I think I'm being more than fair, you are not tied to a bed or locked in a barred room you, can move about the house and exercise in the dojo and I shall take you to town when I go myself. Comport yourself well, live by my rules and your time shall fly by. However, you do need to wear this when you go into town with me" he said handing her a plain white gold band.
"Why do I need to wear this?" She demanded.
"I told everyone I took on a wife, I can hardly have you show up without a wedding ring to support that claim" he said.
"You know just because people are expecting, it doesn't mean that they automatically have to marry" she said with exasperation in her voice.
"You would have people believe me such a cad that I wouldn't marry the mother of my child?" He said in a shocked voice as if it were the worse crime in the world he could think of.
Tifa could only raise her eyebrows up in surprised at what an old fashioned a view he had towards unplanned pregnancy. "So you would have me support your lies with a fake ring?" She asked him.
"The ring is real and the lie only necessary because you won't grant me your hand in marriage and I won't force you before a priest for a shotgun wedding, I can grant you that much. Parents should be married, hell even my psychopathic parents were legally wed, it is just what I believe and have been taught. I know what I'm doing in wrong and against the law even, but I cannot allow you to terminate this child. Just live quietly with me and it will all be over soon, you have no choice in the matter anyway" he told her.
That was a month ago.
Sephiroth sighed as he took his shower, wondering why he hadn't ripped out his hair in trying to live with a person who flaunted his rules at every given turn. She had tried to escape so many times and somehow had even flirted a young man into coming to her aid one day. He had just managed to stop the young man's truck and he had carefully explained that Tifa had mental problems and that she couldn't remember that they were married and she carried their baby. Somehow, he had believed him and left her to his care, Tifa hadn't spoken to him for a week; it had been so peaceful.
He could feel the massage function of the shower head relax his constantly aching muscles that were always on the alert for his roommate's antics to return to her normal life. He didn't see why she was resisting so much. Few reputable doctors would preform an abortion after the first trimester and she was now fourteen weeks along and starting to show.
He easily caught her wrist with one hand and plucked the steak knife from her, pinned her against the wall and smirked at her. "How kind of you to join me. If you wished to shower with me, all you had to do was ask" he said, giving her a flirtatious wink that made her blush. She wore a white flannel nightgown that was slowly turning transparent in the spray of water that covered them both. "Have a good look at me, do you want to me to flex my muscles for you?" He asked her facetiously and then felt uncomfortable to have her wine coloured eyes boring into his while the water showed him the body he hadn't seen since their one fateful night together, her breasts had increased in size and her belly was now a tight, small convex but that didn't diminish her beauty. She was one of those women who seemed even more beautiful at the height of her fertility and men's eyes seems to follow her wherever they went.
"Go to hell" she snarled, breaking the mood.
"Well, you won't be the person sending me there" he said, turning off the water "I don't know why you keep resisting me" he said, releasing her and reaching for a towel, hoping to cover up his erection before she discovered it
"I just want my freedom, I miss my friends" she said.
"I just want my child. I would release you today if you would only sign the document giving me full custody of it and acknowledging me as its father. You could be with them before the day is through. Give up this fight, you can't win, you must feel something as it grows in you" he said, toweling himself off and noting how she glanced between his legs. Pregnancy hormones, he deduced and wondered if that was the way he needed to tame his little hell cat and if he was he willing to take that step.
About three weeks later she stopped attempting to escape.
After almost two months of little sleep and constantly having to be on guard, he fell asleep on the couch and when he finally did wake, he found that she had covered him with a blanket and was making dinner for them both and wondered about the change in her.
Tifa looked at herself in the mirror and turn in profile to examine her small baby bump and lifted up her sweater to bare the pale moon of her belly to her own view. She ran her hand down in it wonderment, hardly believing it was actually her in the mirror. She was petite and slight so she was showing more than a curvier woman would. She knew now it was too late to have an abortion but tried to emotionally distance herself from it, not allowing herself to get too attached to it, or its father. She was troubled by her developing feelings for both.
Given that there was little to do at Sephiroth's place, she had been forced to interact with him more than she would have at first, but she was a social person and he was the only one to talk to. So she had gotten to know his real core personality that she had gotten to know briefly in Nebeilhem. He was guarded for the most part, very conservative to the point of being stuffy and almost stogey. He had a very strict moral code instilled in him by the army and his friend, Angeal. Angeal it seemed had a very old fashioned view of what was appropriate when it came to dating and was a perfect gentleman from the sound of it. This seemed to be quite the opposite of his other friend, Genesis who seemed to slut around. Zack she had met and he had seemed very immature to her even back then.
Sephiroth wasn't one for talking at length but he was a good conversationalist and actually quite witty when he felt in the mood. He was polite and took care of all of her needs as he has promised, she lacked for nothing but freedom. He tried to keep her happy, ordered books for her to be delivered alongside the constant stream of his own. He got cable so she could watch her according to him "sickening" soap operas. However, she was never without him, they worked out together while he did his katas and did weight training she did her own workouts she had had to modify due to her increasing girth. He loved to take long walks on the more mild days and she found herself staring at him while he walked in silence with a contented smile on his face he never seemed to be aware of. There is where he appeared to be the most human with his hair streaming from under the black toque he wore along with his black snowsuit and his face pink from the cool air. There was something almost endearing about how the snowflakes would stick to his long black eyelashes. He would sit her on the couch and wrap a blanket around her when they got back and make them hot chocolate. Somehow this touched her.
There were times she could see the father in him and it made her wonder, what if? How his eyes went soft with happiness at their ultrasounds where he looked so longingly at the image of the fetus. How he stroked her belly so tenderly was enough to make her want to cling to him and lose herself in his embrace, feeling so lonely without her friends around.
Yes his temperature was higher then that of a normal man but he still liked warmth, although his place was cozy, he normally dressed warmly as she had learned to emulate this, her old habit of wearing brief camisoles and booty shorts not appropriate to the situation.
There was how gorgeous he was and she wanted him, this should would never admit to him, it was like living with a supermodel. Yes he looked exotic compared to other men, but his unusual eyes dilated the same as hers. As for his hair, she certainly knew that part of him, in her boredom one day, she had asked to examine it and he had conceded. She had taken the glittering strands and fanned them out, it was so fine but thick. Soon she was wrapping it around her hands and carding her fingers through it, entranced by the texture of it and how it seemed immune to tangles. Playing with it like a child would their mother's hair until he politely asked her to stop. She blushed when she realized in her exuberance, she was imagining him teasing her by drawing the heavy, cool weight of it over her naked body, along her hard nipple tipped breasts, swirling it over her taut belly and running it between her inner thighs and her wet...she let that thought drop as she released it.
She imagined how he would feel taking her with his large powerful body on top of her own or from behind and would get wet at the idea, or her on top of him. Sometimes she would find herself staring at him, not that he wore his clothing extremely tight but the way his garments draped him and what her memory supplied, made her desire him, even his scent alone was enough to set off her already rampant hormones. He would find her staring at him and would look questioningly back at her, being as naïve as he was.
He could feel the heat of her stare at these moments and wondered if she desired him as he did her. He had been keeping his distance from her sexually even though it was her that had awaken his own, not wanting her to think he was attempting to take advantage of a already precarious situation. He dreamed of taking her again, stroking her beautiful body to arousal. All he had seen of her was her belly, which she allowed him to examine and touch as he would. Yet he could sense her eyes on him. Did she want him too?
That answer was provided to him when he busted into her room one night out of concern for her and found her in an extremely compromising position and realized her stifled moans had nothing to do with pain as the naive man had thought. He hastily averted his eyes while her she glared at him through unfocused eyes to be interrupted at such a pivotal moment.
"I'm sorry, I thought you were in pain" he apologized, feeling like a fish out of water, as he always seemed to when dealing with her on any sexual level.
"You could have knocked" she snapped, covered her genitals with a pillow.
"I didn't know you...did this" he said, positive he was glowing in the dim light.
"I have pregnancy hormones that make me crave sex in a way I have never before and there is no relief in sight" she said as crudely as possible.
"I could, we could...if you want" he all but stammered uncharacteristically.
"Please. As if I want to have more lousy sex with you. For your reputation back in the day, you're a miserable fuck" she lied with a smirk, not caring after all that he had taken from her and angry at her own body's betray. She was surprised at the hurt look he gave her and stiffly marched from the room and she could hear his door slam. She frowned, wondering at his reaction. She had expected him to remind indifferent to what she said or did as he did most things. Yes he did have emotions she had discovered but preferred not to show them unless the circumstances were dire. Had he actually flinched?
Suddenly she felt bad, okay obviously he had thought her to be a prostitute at the time and was sure he took more care with his actual lovers. Why would he be hurt by her critiquing his sexual performance? Should she apologize?
Sephiroth lay on his bed and sipped on the one lone bottle of alcohol he kept in the house that he had secreted in his own bedroom in case his pregnant captive wanted to add prenatal drinking to her list of ways to defy him.
He normally didn't drink but what Tifa had said had wounded him to the core. How was he expected to be a good lover when he had been so newly deflowered by someone who hated him? He'd never even kissed someone and now he was acting as an unwanted co-partner in a pregnancy. He didn't know how to act, he didn't know what to do beyond what he could research about pregnancy and didn't even had anyone to ask for advice. How had his life come to this?
Every since he had been "introduced" to society, there had always been people wanting to make a sexual conquest of him due to his supposed pretty features. He snorted at this, as if the way he looked had ever done him one lick of good, if anything it just served to remind him of how different he was from others.
Even at fourteen he had had both men and women coming onto him, some even old enough to be his grandfather or grandmother, some out of lust and some sought the perceived prestige his title could bring them.
Yet for all of that, he lived as a monk. Even as a grunt it had been easy for him to disguise sexual shyness and lack of experience with coolly polite and indifferent refusals. Yet despite that, rumours were abound about his sexual prowess. Perhaps he wouldn't have refused all if someone had offered him affection rather then just lust? Or someone just tried to get to know him before trying to rush him into bed?
He remembered how he struggled that night to make himself preform sexually with Tifa, he hadn't wanted to, but at the same time he had forced himself to, just wanted to experience normality for once in his life. He had been rather drunk at the time and had felt hallow afterwards. He blushed painfully to remember how vocal he had been, it had been a truly shameful experience for him. He also remembered struggling not to cry at the end and wondered what had brought him to such low depths. He never cried, hadn't for years, it was like his life had dried up his tear ducts.
Yet what Tifa had said had wounded him to the core, but why should he care about what she thought of how he was in bed? He had thought he would be safer getting the whole thing over with a pretty girl who meant nothing to him and never expected to see her again. But of course, he had to choose his enemy, impregnate her and now held her hostage because he wanted someone to love, if only a child. Was he truly that despicable?
He had deduced a long time ago what type of women he liked, he liked them busty and filled with the milk of human kindness. He had learned this by observation, he didn't like brazen women who flaunted their sexuality for all to see. He would watch his men as their sweethearts and wives said goodbye to them as they left to go on missions. He didn't envy the men for their women who practically fucked them in public during their goodbyes. Who he envied was the men with their less outgoing conservatively dressed and virtuous wives who said their demure goodbyes, who he knew would wait faithfully for their spouses and take them to bed happily upon their return to celebrate. There had never been anyone to say goodbye to Sephiroth and worry about his returning, he had never had a lover or companion of any description and never would, who would take someone who almost destroyed all of Gaia as spouse? It was ironic, all he had ever wanted was love and the person who carried the only family he would ever know didn't want it and hated him.
He could feel the alcohol clouding his mind and welcomed the sweet release from having to think, having to be on guard all the time. He sighed and settled into the calming numbness, his self esteem at a all time low to have to live with someone who verbally abused him at every overture of kindness he strove to give her.
Tifa lingered outside of Sephiroth's door the next morning, having a bad feeling as he was normally the first one awake and then finally knocked.
"Go away" Sephiroth said in a strange sounding voice.
"Are you okay?" She called to him.
"I'm fine, just leave me alone" he snapped.
"No you're not, let me in" she demanded, rapping on it harder.
"Just leave me be" he called.
"No, open this door or I shall break it down" she insisted.
"Just go away..." He called and then looked up sharply as she hit the door frame and grunted, he sat up as she did this a couple more times and quickly went and opened the door, catching her flying towards it again. "Are you insane? You could hurt yourself or the baby" he chided her.
Tifa looked up and was shocked to see that he appeared to be drunk and his swollen lids indicated he'd been crying. He still wore his clothes from the night before and his hair was uncharacteristically messy.
"Sephiroth, are you okay?" She asked him, lying a hand on his cheek and he flinched from her touch. This made him bangs cover his face, she now knew he wore his hair to its extraordinary length not out of affectation but used it as a type of shield and she suspected that it had been like that since he was young. Probably wanting to something to hide him and this was the only answer. Only one of his glowing eyes was now visible.
She stopped, wondering at the aura of depression that hung around him. "Why are you drinking? You can't drink" she asked, knowing about how mako men reacted to alcohol.
"Why should you care?" He all but slurred.
"I do care for you" she said, wondering why she felt the need to reassure him of this.
"Yeah right" he said. "You want to know why I was "a lousy fuck" as you said? It is seemed like I lack experience, It's because I do. I was a virgin. Are you going to laugh at me?" he spat at her. "You deflowered me. Deflowered: such a romantic sounding word" he sourly said.
Tifa felt like her knees would collapse and sat heavily down on the chair beside his bed while his one pained eye examined her. "But you thought I was a-why would you choose your first time to be with a...?" she asked him.
"Whore?" He said with a bitter laugh. "All anyone has ever offered me was lust, not affection, they didn't care about me, it was all about physical desire or to gain power. When a woman of my choosing was offered to me, whose job was to love, but didn't really care who. I thought; why not? I could have anonymous sex with someone with no one being the wiser and the gils would keep her silence. Of course I had to choose the girlfriend of that man that killed me more than once. Ironic."
"It should have been with someone who cared about you a great deal" she said.
"Oh you're here to lecture me on the finer points of virginity? There was no one, there never has been, there were just people wanting a conquest. I never had a chance to meet a nice, caring person. I suppose your first time was so special?" He asked her facetiously.
"I was in love with him, it still hurt but he really tried to make it special for me" she said.
"Let me guess, was it Cloud by any chance?" He demanded.
"Yes" she said.
"Ah childhood sweethearts, what must that have felt like? I bet you were the prom King and Queen" he said facetiously.
"How did you know?" She asked him.
"I can see it now, hometown boy and girl growing up side by side, parents friends, schoolmates who explored their sexuality together when younger, more so when puberty hit and one day you both shall probably marry. You would have probably have been a long time ago if crazy Sephiroth hadn't interfered. I really am a dampener on your relationship and now I knocked up the future Mrs. Cloud Strife and threw another monkey wrench into your plans" he said sounding so bitter her heart went out of him.
"Our lives weren't perfect even before you came along" she said if only to cheer him up a bit.
"At least you had all that, I never got to experience any of those things, heck I never even got to kiss a girl in any of my lifetimes" he admitted. "No one ever cared..." He said. "Just leave Tifa, I don't want you to see me like this. Wait, want to see something" he suddenly asked her and pulled out a picture from a drawer.
She looked down to see what it was of, it was of him but not him, someone had doctored the photo to give him a more normal skin pigment, dark hair and regular green eyes with a normal pupil. "Both my parents had dark hair, I could have had either dark brown or green eyes. I think they would have been like my mother's if no one had interfered with my DNA. "That's probably what I would have looked like. I might have had almond shaped eyes because I am half Wutaian. I bet you didn't know that about me? Do you think I would have been handsome?" He asked her in a bitter sounding voice.
Tifa set the photo aside and softly said "I think you're handsome now."
"For a freak" he spat out.
"For you, you have your own brand of handsomeness. I said some things I didn't mean and I hurt you."Tifa looked away, not sure what to make of him acting so vulnerable. She didn't want to feel sorry for him, she wanted to hate him. She had never seen him acting so human at this display of emotions. She suddenly felt guilty for not realizing he suffered from periods of depression and that he had self esteem issues as well. Now she understood how hard this situation was for him, he wasn't good with relationships because he never had been in one and now he made his first women pregnant. He presented himself as being untouchable and aloof from common emotions yet he did experience them and acutely when the situation warranted. He did care about her as much as he was able to with his stunted emotional growth. He seemed so powerful it was easy to forget how lonely his existence had been how he had been little more than an object everyone used and finally lost his mind and body to the first being who offered him love. Sensing his need for TLC, she responded to it like a sirens song as she did anyone in pain.
Gently, she reached up and pushed his bangs back. "You're hurting and probably should go back to bed and sleep off your alcohol, you are lucky you don't get hangovers" she said.
"Tifa, what are you doing?" He asked her as she caressed his features and he went ridged in shock as she wrapped her arms around him, giving him a hug and he stood there paralyzed and then as if by their own accord, his arms came up and wrapped around her and his head settled on top of hers.
"You've been taking care of me since I got here, let me take care of you for once" she said, leaning back so she could look at him.
"But" he protested.
"No but, get into your jammies then I'm going to tuck you into bed" she insisted. "You have five minutes to get ready or I shall come in here and change you myself" she playfully said with a wicked smile as she went to stand in the hallway.
He felt confused by her change in attitude, having never seen the caring side of her before, but used the washroom and did as she suggested. She soon returned. "What will you do as I sleep?" He asked her.
"There's laundry to do, I can wash your underwear without blushing, unlike you when you wash mine. I have books to read, I'm not going anywhere. Get into bed" she ordered him pulling back the sheets.
"You promise?" He asked her.
"I promise, under the covers with you" she insisted and he did as she bade.
"I'll have dinner ready later" she promised him and his eyes went wide as she gave him a peck on the lips and he actually blushed. "Now you've been kissed" she said with a grin at his reaction and he in his tiredness thought she looked like an angel at how her own dark fall seemed to cover them both as if in protection of him.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" He asked her groggily.
"Because I like you" she admitted.
"You do?" He asked her.
"I do" she said drawing the covers over him.
"Could you stay with me until I fall asleep?" He asked her.
She sat beside him "of course. You would have been prom king for sure, you would have been one of those strange combination of brains, beauty and brawn that the girls would have been fighting over" she promised him and he soon nodded off and she could feel a tug at her heart at the sight of how young and vulnerable he looked as he slept, but quashed this notion. She gently brushed away some strands of his hair caught in the corner of his mouth. She hardened her and forced herself to think about Cloud and how her heart was betraying him when her treacherous mind made her remembered the stacks and stacks of wedding magazines she had secretly bought over the years, a wedding dress she had started making years ago that was now hopelessly out of date and certainly would not fit her present body now. Three types of wedding plans half baked in binders, one destination wedding, one small and low key and a full blown church wedding; all waiting for a diamond ring to appear or at least the question to be asked and so many nights sleeping alone. No, she loved Cloud and always would she firmly reminded herself as she flicked off the lights and gently shut the door behind her.