I don't even know what this is, honestly..
~~.~~
Y/N P.O.V
You hear muffled whispering coming from the other side of the door, you know they're talking about you and it irks you that they can't just talk about you while you're actually present. Yoongi has been tiptoeing around you, trying desperately to be around you but at the same time not wanting to smother you. You know that it's hurting him that you don't remember, but honestly what does he expect you to do? It's not like you planned on losing your memory, these things just happen... Apparently.
You shift from foot to foot as your frustration rises over being left out here. Yoongi said he'd be a minute, but you look down at your phone and see it's been almost ten. You huff, placing your ear against the door to try and hear them better. You sigh; you're not going to hear anything like this. As quietly as you can you open the door to see in, congratulating yourself silently as their voices immediately flow into your ears now that the door barrier is extinguished.
"It's just different," Yoongi sighs, running his hands over his face; you've noticed he does that a lot especially when he's frustrated about something, mostly you. He stands almost with his back to you, as the other members face towards you. You look over each of their faces, hoping that something might inspire a memory or a thought, anything. But there is nothing, not even a spark.
"Do you think she's ready?" The tall one with an almost laughable pastel blue bowl cut asks. On anyone else it would have looked ridiculous, but for some reason that is beyond your comprehension, he manages to pull it off.
"I don't think she ever will be," Yoongi replies, his shoulders slumped.
"Have you told her anything?" The one with orange hair asks.
Why do they all have dyed hair?
Yoongi turns to him, and even from your position you can tell his eyes are hard. "What would I tell her?"
They all stare at him with pity clear on their faces. "So what do you expect us to do today?" The blue haired one asks.
Yoongi sighs. "I figured we'd tell her together and then I'd take her to the studio."
Studio? What does he mean by studio?
You glance back at them then, your eyes making contact with the one with blonde hair a bit more natural than Yoongi's that looks so fluffy you could ran your hands through it. He's looking at you curiously, and you feel unable to look away. He looks familiar, not in the sense that you know him, but you feel as though you've seen his face before. You remember the photo on the shelf of you and a red haired boy that Yoongi said was your best friend, you stare at the blonde in front of you, sure that it is the same guy. Taehyung. He winks at you and you duck your head quickly to hide the blush growing over your cheeks. You can't believe you got caught snooping, Yoongi had specifically told you to wait outside for him to get you and yet here you are eavesdropping. You look up again as Taehyung taps Yoongi on the arm, pointing in your direction.
His unexpectedly deep voice makes its way to your ears, sending shivers tingling down your spine. "Seems we have an eavesdropper." He winks at you again, his eyes shining with silent laughter as if the two of you were the only ones clued in to some secret. You feel your blush deepening into an unattractive red as you step fully into the room, facing the seven of them head on.
Your eyes land on Yoongi first, interested to see how he would react. His face is a blank mask as he makes his way slowly towards you. You watch as he holds out his hand to you causing your eyes to shift down to it before staring back into his. Does he really expect you to take it? It's probably what you would normally do, but you have no idea what normal is anymore, so you offer him a small smile that makes his face drop slightly as he walks next to you over to the others.
You watch their faces, each showing you just how wrong your decision was. How unnatural. You brush it off, instead conjuring up a bright smile and directing it at each of them in turn.
"Y/N…" Yoongi begins bringing your attention to the boy with striking orange hair. "This is Jimin."
You smile wider upon hearing his name. He's a nice looks guy, you notice, they all are. He steps towards you with his arms outstretched before his step falters as he realises what he's doing. He looks awkward as he stands there not sure what to do. You weren't planning on being so friendly with them all so soon, but you decide, why the hell not? And step forward into his arms allowing him to hug you. He lets out a relieved breath and wraps his arms around you, rubbing your back slowly before pulling away. "I'm glad you're okay, Y/N."
"This is Jungkook," Yoongi states next, gesturing to the man beside Jimin. There's an edge to his voice and you figured he's just trying to get you away from Jimin as quickly as possible. The man he points to has dark brown hair, covered with a red beanie and a pretty, youthful face.
"He-," You begin, when his arms are suddenly around you, crushing you tightly against his chest. You're stunned by his forwardness, but find yourself leaning into his touch, his body heat oddly comforting as it radiates through his shirt.
"Y/N," He breaths into your hair before he's being pulled away leaving you feeling cold.
"Easy Jungkook. She doesn't even know who you are remember, give her some space," The pale blue haired speaks – the one who pulled Jungkook off you.
You stare at Jungkook, to see him grinning at you, completely ignoring the other boys. You can't help but grin back, thankful to him for treating you the same as you assume he did before you forgot him. You glance at Yoongi, to see him glaring at Jungkook, who doesn't seem to notice. He looks at you, realising you're staring at him and gives you a small smile which you try to return, you're not trying to make him uncomfortable. He clears his throat then, speeding up the introductions.
"This is Jin," He points to a tall handsome man.
"Hey," You both say at the same time, before breaking into warm smiles.
Yoongi moves on. "This is Namjoon." He gestures to the one with the pastel blue hair, finally giving you a name.
He gives you a cheeky wink, causing a blush to spread across your cheeks. "Hey."
"And Hoseok," He points to the black haired man in a horrendous striped turtleneck top sweater that he also manages to pull off.
"It's nice to see you, Y/N," He says politely, his voice jumping up and down like a song.
You smile at him in return, turning yourself to face the last of them.
You see Yoongi hesitate slightly before opening his mouth. "And this is-,"
"Taehyung," You finish for him, silently congratulating yourself for not stumbling.
They all stare at you with shocked expressions; but you continue to stare at Taehyung noticing his eyes are unusually wide.
"Y/N?"
You open your mouth to speak up when a sigh comes from Yoongi by your side.
"She doesn't actually remember you, Tae," The blondes face falls at that. "She saw a picture of you two last night; I told her who you were." He finishes with a shrug as if it doesn't matter.
Everyone is silent for a minute before Taehyung scratches the back of his head as he laughs not seeming bothered by the information. "Well I was hoping that you secretly forgot the others and not me, but that's okay." He takes two steps forward, wrapping him up in your arms. You struggle to wrap your arms around him fast enough, feeling more at ease around him than any of the others. He nuzzles his face into your neck, mumbling, "I'm just so glad you're okay, Y/N/N."
He moves back, giving you space so he can judge your reaction, you stare at him in shock. Not because of his actions, but because of the part of you that never wanted him to let go. You stare at the seven of them in turn as you attempt to get you confusing emotions under control. They all turn their head to look at Yoongi then, wondering what they're supposed to do next. For a second Yoongi looks conflicted, as if he's not sure which direction he wants to go in next, but with the weight of seven gazes on him he sighs and walks away from you to stand with the others.
"Yoongi," You begin, unsure. The look on his face causes the words to catch in your throat, rendering you silent.
"Y/N," He begins glancing to Namjoon beside him, his expression unsure. He breathes in deeply. "As I told you we've been dating for two years." You feel the gazes of the other boys on you as you take in the information once again, you feel self-conscious under their eyes, still not feeling comfortable with the situation you've found yourself in. But you nod anyway, to let him know you understand.
He continues. "Taehyung is your best friend."
You glance at the blonde boy who gives you a thumbs up with a grin. You fight the urge to grin back at him, not feeling as through that would be the right reaction with Yoongi standing there. You nod again instead, realising that Yoongi is waiting for your reply. You're nervous, where exactly is he going with this? How does you been in a relationship with Yoongi and best friends with Taehyung bring five more men into the equation?
You gulp, are they a gang or something?
Yoongi notices your distress and hurries to finish, wanting to get this over with. He gestures to the others around him. "And we are Bangtan Sonyeondan."
What?
You cock an eyebrow up, your face twisted in confusion. "Excuse me."
You see Taehyung and Jungkook trying to muffle their laughter at your reaction. You turn to them, silencing them with your gaze. "What is that?"
Namjoon steps forward, looking at Yoongi who nods as if allowing Namjoon to speak. He looks at you, his dark eyes intense yet friendly. "We're a K-pop idol group, formed five years ago. We met you a year after our debut, and you've been with us ever since."
"K-pop," You repeat unsure. Well at least now the fashion and hair isn't so surprising. But why would an idol group want to hang around with you? What makes you so special? "Okay."
You want to say more but the door is suddenly pushed open revealing an older man standing in the doorway staring at all of you. He takes in the situation and looks at his phone. "Boys I need you in the practice room now."
They nod before looking back at you with reassuring smiles. You're unsure of what is happening as they give you short hugs and make their way out of the room without another word, leaving you standing there with Yoongi.
"What's going on?"
"They've gone to practice the new choreography. I've been let off for today, for obvious reasons."
You don't want to keep him from his work, don't want to be an 'obvious reason' that he can't do his job. You make a show of looking at ease, as if your surroundings aren't putting you on edge. "You should go with them, I'm fine."
He gives you an incredulous look. "I'm not leaving you by yourself."
Does he not realise you're trying to help him? You don't want him to get in trouble because of you.
"Its fine," You smile slightly in an attempt to convince him. "I'm fine."
"No you're not!" His voice is loud as he loses his cool, glaring at you with hard eyes.
You flinch back at his tone and he works to make his face neutral immediately taking a step towards you. He opens his mouth to say something but you put your hand up silencing him. You assume he's going to apologise.
"Please don't. It's okay."
He doesn't make another move towards you, instead looking around the room to try and find a way to dispel the tension between you. He looks unsure as he looks back at you.
"Can I show you around?"
You nod.
~~.~~
You complete a full turn in the plush black office chair. The material practically sucking you into it making you never want to stand up again. Yoongi sits on the edge of his desk watching you as you take in the expanse of the room.
"So this is where you produce music," You state, trying to make sense of the information he's just given you.
He nods, trying not to give you too much information at once yet still wanting to tell you everything. The longer he stares at you sitting in a chair that you've sat in over a hundred times pulls at something within him and he's not sure how much longer he'll be able to hold back.
"So…" You begin again, is he going to give you anything or is he just going to sit there staring at you? "So, you're a rapper."
"Yes." He nods.
"And you're in an idol group."
"Yes."
"And how do I fit into the equation exactly?"
He sighs, running a hand through his hair and you wonder what he's thinking. You understand it must be frustrating for him, but it's even harder for you. You need the information to be able to make decisions.
"We met here. You were interning and we were one of the groups you were designated to 'look after' in a sense. We began dating a few months into your internship."
It's your turn to nod showing you understand why you try and get our thoughts together.
It's true it had always been your dream to intern and eventually get a job at one of the major music corporations, but you can't believe it actually happened. And to think you began dating an idol along the way.
You did good.
"How long have we been together?" You can't help but be frightened of the answer.
His face is a blank mask as he answers. "Almost three years."
Your breath hitches in your throat. You've lost three years? The fact that you lost your memory was troublesome enough but to find out that you have lost so much time, so much Yoongi and the other boys, you feel the room spin around you and suddenly there is nothing to catch you as the air rushes past your face as you fall from the chair.
Yoongi P.O.V
She looks up, her eyes fearful as she speaks.
"How long have we been together?"
It's the question he did not want to answer. You hadn't seemed that upset about the whole memory loss thing, but he'd put it down to you not being aware of how much time you'd actually lost. And now you sit in front of him, in a chair that the both of you made your own and he's scared. Because what if now you don't feel the same, that the spark you two had is gone and he has no idea how to get it back.
He swallows, making sure to keep his face neutral; you don't need to know how much this affects him. "Almost three years."
Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes go wide. Fuck, he should have lied, said anything but the truth. He's scrambling for a way to salvage this when your hand slips from the armrest and you begin falling towards the floor. He reacts fast, slipping off the desk quickly and places his arms under you, catch your fall.
"Y/N?"
You open your eyes and stare up at him, neither of you moving, both unsure as to what to do.
He knows he shouldn't. Knows that it's way too soon to be thinking about doing anything of the sort. But the way you're staring up at him, all confused and shaking slightly, and it's been so long since he's just held you like this and he can't stop himself.
Before he's even made up his mind he's leaning down towards you, his face only inches from yours and when you do nothing to stop him he leans in quicker and connects his lips with yours.
Its bliss for all of three seconds, as you gently part your lips for him and he wraps his arms tighter around you, before you're pushing him back and moving away from his touch.
He keeps his face blank, not allowing you even a glimpse into what he's feeling. He can't believe he just did that, pushed you like that. He has no idea how he's going to get you to trust him now.
"Yoongi.." Your voice is like a knife to the heart, so full of apologetic pity. He doesn't want that, not from you.
"Please, just don't say anything," He breathes, hoping to keep what's left of him in one piece.
"No."
Your voice is so final that he looks straight up into your hard eyes.
"You don't just get to kiss me and then tell me not to say anything," You say. He knows you're right. Of course you are.
He sits, waiting for you to continue. He knows there's more, there always is with you.
You breathe out, looking slightly to the side of his face.
"Yoongi, I'm sorry," He watches as you pauses, trying to collect your thoughts, the ones that he's sure will shatter him. "But I don't feel the same way."
He always knew you'd break his heart, though he'd never imagined it would happen like this.