In the wide range of emotions Olivia went through after his departure, anger was definitely one of them. Dealing with his retirement was like going through the seven stages of grief.
But apparently she isn't quite done with the anger stage. Still, as much as she thought about doing so while they were partnered, she's never actually hit him.
Elliot took the punch and recovered well. He stumbled but didn't fall over. Then the power miraculously comes back on and she can see the damage she's done.
"Son of a bitch that hurt," he says, holding his hand to his mouth.
Olivia rushes to the kitchen to fill a towel with ice before returning to her bedroom. She puts the cold compress up to his face.
"I'd say I was sorry," she tells him, inspecting her damage. "But I did warn you. What do you want me to do kiss it and make it better," she asks, rhetorically.
When she looks at him Elliot's eyeing her again like he did before the lights went out and she knows she's said the wrong thing. His eyes darken before he steps into her.
He moves the ice pack she's made him out of the way pulls her close and kisses her, softly and slowly moving his lips over hers. If it's painful for him he doesn't show it. Olivia is the first one to pull away.
"What the hell are you doing," she asks in an unsteady voice, resting her hands against his chest but not pulling out of his embrace completely.
"Letting you kiss it and make it better," he responds, matter of fact.
"If this is your idea of a joke-"
Olivia is cut off by Elliot kissing her again. This time he suckles on her bottom lip before slipping his tongue in her mouth, tasting her fully. Olivia can't deny the warmth that's spreading throughout her body or that she's kissing him back. She's lightheaded and her heart's beginning to race. Still, she has the presence of mind to pull away again.
"Elliot," she says, breathlessly. For her own sake she takes two steps back out of his arms and out of the vicinity of his mouth. "What is this," she asks, sincerely confused.
"Just-tired of leaving things between us," he explains. "I've cared about you more than a partner should, more than a friend should for a long time," he continues. "I just needed you to know that."
"I know that Elliot, I've always known," she confesses. "But you were my married partner from day one," she says. "I've never wanted to interfere with that."
"You could've said something that night after the Sennet case," he tells her. "I'd just told you I'd signed the divorce papers."
She sighs deeply and moves to sit at the foot of the bed. Olivia scrubs her hands over her face feeling like it's the longest night of her life.
"I'd just come back from Oregon Elliot," she reminds him. "We fought like cats and dogs on that case and we were learning to trust one another again," she continues.
"With your marriage ending do you really think it was a good time to bring up that I left because I was feeling too much?"
Elliot takes a breath before sitting next to her. He knows he was an emotional mess back then. It's half the reason he ended up going back to his almost ex-wife at the time and getting her pregnant again.
"No, I guess not," he acknowledges. "I was still dealing with not living in the same house with my kids and being newly single."
"So what you're saying is I was right," she asks, giving him a small smile. He can't help but return it.
"Yes Olivia, you were right-again." he tells her, taking her hand and intertwining his fingers with hers.
"Now that I have my shit together," he begins. "Would it be okay if we met for coffee or something sometime," he asks, shyly looking down at their hands.
She looks down at the sweet gesture, feeling like she's thirteen again and on her first date with Tommy Baker.
She doesn't think she's ever seen shy Elliot before. It's kind of cute.
"Are you asking me out Stabler," she says, grinning.
"Not if you're gonna say no," he responds, running his thumb over her knuckles.
"You don't think we already know each other too well for that?"
"Maybe we should just skip straight to the sex," she adds, teasing him. "Just get it over with."
He looks up at her with huge eyes and raised eyebrows. She's able to hold it in for about two seconds before his expression makes her burst out laughing. Before too long they're both laughing. It's good. It's cleansing in a better way than the rain was.
"Okay, okay," she says, holding her stomach from laughing so hard. "I really have to get to sleep now. One of us has to get ready for work in about five hours."
"Alright I'm goin'," he tells her, getting up from the bed. He stops in her doorway and eyes the sofa then watches as she gets back under the covers. "Liv?"
"Yeah El," she responds, getting comfortable.
"I'm glad we talked," he tells her, stalling.
"Me too," she says, smiling at him before turning on her side. A few seconds later and she notices he's still standing there.
"Liv?"
"What is it Elliot," she asks, beginning to be annoyed.
"You're sofa is really uncomfortable," he tells her, hoping she'll get the hint.
She sits up in her bed and sees the pitiful look he's giving her. Olivia shakes her head in disbelief. She can't believe what she's about to say.
"Go blow out all the candles first," she tells him.
Elliot disappears lightening fast and blows out all the candles like Superman. He returns moments later with an apprehensive look on his face. Should he stay above the covers or get beneath them with her?
Olivia turns over and sees him standing on the other side of the bed. She sees his hesitation but doesn't know what it's for. He's the one who asked to sleep in her bed after all.
"What's wrong now?"
"I just didn't know if I should sleep on top of the covers or not," he tells her, honestly.
She eyes him like he's being ridiculous.
"I trust you not to pounce on me during the night Elliot," she says, and it's a huge weight off his shoulders. Then she pulls the covers back so that he can slide in.
He smiles, gets in and covers up careful to stay on his side of the bed. Elliot lies on his back, folding his arms beneath the pillow under his head. After a few minutes of listening to the deluge outside, they're both asleep.
Five minutes before her alarm goes off, no matter what's happened the night before, how little or how much sleep she's gotten, Olivia has a habit of waking up. The patter of rain has become silent in the morning hours as sunlight breaks through her window.
Just under her nose she smells a familiar aftershave. She hears a soft, deep breathing beneath her ear. She feels a strong arm around her waist and a hand resting against her hip. As she lays there against her former partner's chest, Olivia can't tell who gravitated towards whom. They're both lying in the middle of the bed.
By the way he's breathing, she can tell that he's awake too.
"You feeling any better," he asks, moving his hand from her hip to rub her back. It's soothing, comforting and it feels like the most natural thing in the world that he's the one doing it.
Even though it was just a few hours, she can't remember the last time she woke up from such a peaceful sleep. He seems to have done a better job at consoling her than the wine.
"Yeah," she tells him, honestly. Olivia knows that she and the rest of the squad tried everything they could to nail Nathan Robinson or get him to confess. It just wasn't enough this time. "But we know he's not gonna stop unless we get him," she says.
"I wish I could help," he tells her.
She sits up and looks at him then.
"You've helped me," she expresses to him. "Just being here to talk to, knowing you understand," she adds rubbing his stomach. "It's what I wish I had waiting for me at home after every hard case."
He wants to tell her that that can be arranged but nothing between them has ever been that easy.
Before he can respond her phone's alarm goes off. Olivia rolls out of bed to prepare for work. While she's showering and getting ready he's surprised to find that she actually has food in her refrigerator.
He makes her eggs and toast with a side of fruit and some coffee. Twenty minutes later Olivia emerges freshly showered with her hair and make-up done as gorgeous as he remembers.
She takes the coffee cup he's drinking from, takes a sip and hands it back to him. Then she grabs her keys and her purse before making a beeline for the door.
"Wait," he says, stopping her. "I made breakfast."
"Thank you for going through the trouble," she says, noticing the food on her counter for the first time. "But you know I don't do breakfast."
"I'll put some coffee in a mug with a lid then," he says, moving back into the kitchen.
"Okay," she says, looking at her watch. "You're gonna make some woman a good wife one day," she tells him as she watches the care he puts into making sure the lid is on tight.
"Ha, ha," he says handing her the mug. "Just one more thing," he tells her.
"What's that," she asks, eying her watch again. "I'm gonna be-"
Elliot holds her face in both his hands cutting her off with a kiss. A deep, smoldering, thorough kiss that gets the type of thing going that she doesn't have time for. He tastes like her Columbian dark roast.
"…late," she says, breathily. "What was that for," she asks, grinning as he takes a step back.
"I don't wanna go back to pretending like I don't need you in my life," he explains. "Or that the way I want you isn't the least bit partner or friend like," he finishes, causing blush to color her face.
"I think I get that," she begins, touching a hand to her lips. "But what I need…is to take this slow."
Even as the words fall from her lips, she doesn't know if she can actually do that. The man has been ingrained in her very existence for so long that she barely remembers her life before Elliot. But the months she's had without him has given her the patience to ease back into getting to know him again.
"If it means you letting me back into your life," he says, caressing her face before taking a step back. "I'll take things as slowly as you want."
"Okay," she says.
"I'll lock up when I leave, if my key still works," he tells her, stuffing his hands in his pockets to keep from touching her.
"It does," she informs him, giving him a small smile. "Bye El," she adds, finally opening the door.
"Bye Liv," he says, letting her leave.
Olivia's limbs don't feel quite as heavy as they did last night. The sun is out, the traffic is moving and she makes it to work on time.
"Morning Liv," says Fin. "You look like you're in a better mood than you were in last night."
"It's amazing what a restful night can do for you," she tells him, sitting at her desk and booting up her computer.
"And there is something to be said for drowning your sorrows in a couple of beers too," he responds.
She smiles before the phone on her desk begins to ring.
"SVU, Benson," she says to the caller. Her pens seem to have all disappeared as she goes on the search for one.
She opens her purse to look for one and sees the familiar handwriting of Elliot on the memo paper from her apartment. The pen sits next to the note so she grabs it to jot down the information from her phone call.
Olivia nods her good morning to Nick and Amanda as they come in. She has a feeling she should read Elliot's note in private so she locks her purse in her drawer and heads upstairs to the cribs.
Surprisingly no one has stayed overnight so she's alone. She picks out a bunk and takes a seat atop the gray NYPD issued blanket.
Outside simply has her name scrawled in his chicken scratch handwriting. Inside is a bit longer than the last note he'd written to her. It looks as if he's taken his time so that she'd actually be able to read it.
Liv, the last note I sent you should've gone something like this:
For all the things that were left unsaid while we worked together, I hope you know how honored I was to call you my partner for twelve years.
You were honest with me even when I didn't want to hear it. You stood by me putting your neck, your job and your pension on the line more times than I care to count.
Kathy and Eli are alive because of you. Kathleen got the treatment she needed because of you. You'll never know how grateful I am for saving my family, for saving me.
I look forward to expressing just how much your faith, your loyalty and your friendship have meant to me. I know I don't deserve it but I hope you still have room for me in your life.
E l
It's a good thing she decided to move to a more secluded place. Her eyes have become moist reading the letter. If she would've gotten something like that from him the first time, it would've still hurt but the blow would've been softened.
Olivia takes a moment to herself. She blots at her tears, touches up her make-up, stuffs the note in her front pocket then exits the cribs to rejoin her squad in the bullpen.
She reads and rereads the note from him at least once throughout the day. It's still difficult to believe that her former partner put such heartfelt words to paper…for her.
A week goes by and Elliot honors her request to take things slowly. He calls a few times to ask how she's doing but has to leave messages because she's in the middle of something. By the time she gets them it's always late and she doesn't want to wake him. Needless to say the ball is effectively in her court.
Olivia walks into another missing little girl Thursday morning.
Seven year-old Angelina Jimenez is taken from Washington Square Park while her divorced parents argued over who was going to get to take her trick or treating when Halloween rolls around. They realize she's gone after calling out her name and searching for about ten minutes.
When they give Olivia the picture she nearly chokes on the resemblance the little girl has to Jenna McFarlane. She knows the team has less than seventy two hours to find her or she'll share the same fate.
She leaves messages for Elliot when she's able but her main focus is to find Angelina. Fin, Olivia and the rest of the detectives sleep very little over the next twenty four hours and eat a variety of meals out of delivery cartons and snack machines before finally catching a break.
A gas station attendant remembers Nathan Robinson come into his place to buy gas in the black Ford Bronco shown on various news outlets. When he filled the truck up for him he tells Nick and Olivia that there was a little girl in the back seat covered up with a blanket as if she was sleeping.
"She was more than likely drugged," she tells Nick following a hunch and checking rental cabins near the gas station.
"I'm gonna call it in," Nick informs her. "Cragen will have state troopers meet us there," he says.
Olivia just nods anticipating a confrontation with Robinson. She knows the type of sexual predator he is. He'll kill the young girl and them himself just to stay out of prison. He's been there, he knows what it's like and his sexual proclivities weren't cured. The only thing Nathan Robinson learned in his so called rehabilitation program is how to get better and not getting caught.
They arrive at the cabins just before the troopers. Nick and Olivia enter the office and question the clerk to find out which cabin Robinson has rented. They show the middle aged red head a picture and she id's him right away.
"Sorry didn't recognize him," she tells them. "We don't watch much television up here. That's why people come, to get away from it all," she adds reaching for a key to the cabin. "That'll be number 31," she advises. "I didn't see a little girl though."
"Thanks ma'am," Nick tells her. "Just send the troopers our way when they show up."
Nick and Olivia surreptitiously creep towards the cabin on foot after parking the brown unmarked Crown Victoria a quarter mile or so away. There's but one way into the cabin and they need to make sure Angelina is safe before they just kick the door in.
They spot Robinson unloading supplies from the SUV apparently having no intentions of returning to the city. The two detectives surprise the suspected murderer. With his last trip to the vehicle he picks up the little girl wrapped in a blanket.
"Stop right there Robinson," she tells him.
He immediately produces a gun jamming it into the little girl's side not caring if he was hurting her. Angelina wakes up and begins whimpering.
"Shut up you little bitch!"
Olivia sees Nick approaching behind Robinson unbeknownst to him.
"It's okay sweetheart," she tells the little girl trying to calm her. "Don't cry you'll be okay."
"Yeah," says the pedophile. "We'll both be okay right after we get the hell outta here."
"You know we can't just let you leave," Olivia tells him as two state trooper cars pull up. "Look around Nathan, just let the girl go and come in," she advises as the additional officers draw their guns on him as well.
"Fuck that! Soon as I let this little whore go I lose my bargaining chip and I'm dead!"
"No one's gonna shoot you Nathan," she tells him calmly. "We're all going to lower our weapons so you don't feel threatened anymore," she says eyeing the state troopers.
They lower their weapons seeing Amaro advancing on the man.
"Just put her down," she tells him so that Nick can get a clean shot without worrying about accidentally hitting Angelina. "If your gun goes off accidentally you lose your bargaining chip," she explains.
After taking a moment to contemplate his situation coupled with the fact that the little girl is becoming increasingly heavy, Robinson decides to lower her to the ground.
"That's good Nathan," she says, watching tears stream down Angelina' face. "It's gonna be okay sweetie just close your eyes," she tells her not wanting her to see the man fall.
Before Robinson realizes that he's dropped his human shield, Nick takes the opportunity to take the shot. He effectively drops the man right next to where the little girl stands.
Angelina runs into Olivia's arms while Amaro and the troopers descend on Nathan Robinson taking his gun and hauling him to his feet. Nick shot him through the shoulder of his gun hand. He would not get to enjoy his 'death by cop' as the pedophile likely planned. If the criminal justice system works they way that it should this time, Robinson will spend the rest of his life behind bars.
Olivia sits in a darkened squad room typing up the last of her report. With Nathan Robinson in Rikers and Angelina safely back with her parents, she has to call today a win. She can only hope the prick spent his time planning his getaway rather than harming the young girl in anyway.
He is a welcome sight as she comes down the corridor of her apartment. Elliot is standing outside her door with a brown bag in his hand. He smiles at her causing a grin to spread across her face in return.
"It's late El," she tells him opening her door. "What are you doing here," she asks him laying her keys on the counter.
"Asked the desk sergeant to call me when you walked out," he informs her. "I figured you hadn't eaten," he tells her.
"So you came over here at," she pauses to look at her watch. "Eleven forty-three at night to feed me," she asks with a raised eyebrow watching him remove the take-out from the bag.
"No," he says abandoning the food on the counter to approach her. "I also thought you could use one of these," he says, pulling her into a hug.
She's the one to tighten the embrace this time, putting her arms around his neck. Olivia takes a minute to enjoy the feeling of being in his arms, the way he smells of fabric softener and aftershave and the simple dose of comfort that she's been lacking in her life.
"You were right," she whispers, leaning her soft cheek against his clean shaven face as he rubs her back. "I did need this."
"Not half as much as I did," he tells her as he leans back to take her in. She looks mentally and physically wiped out. "Long day," he asks, releasing her to heat up her late dinner.
"Yes," she acknowledges. "El wait," she says, pausing him in his actions.
"I'm too tired to eat," she tells him conceding to what he already knew to be true. He nods putting the container back in the bag.
"I'll just put this in the fridge before I go and you can take it for lunch tomorrow," he suggests.
With her schedule who knows how long it'd be before they see each other again. Olivia thinks back to last week and how she felt waking up in his arms. As strong a person as she is, as strong a woman as she knows she is…he made her feel safe, comforted, loved.
"You don't have to leave right away El," she tells him. "Just give me a minute to change okay," she asks him. "I'll be right back."
Olivia changes into her bed clothes, brushes her teeth and joins Elliot on her sofa. He sits in the middle with his arms spread along the backside and his head tilted back with his eyes closed. He seems a bit tired himself.
"You running around after Eli all day," she asks him, sitting right next to him on the couch and patting his thigh.
He puts an arm around her as he answers. "Yeah," he tells her as he yawns. "That kids a hand full."
"You're just getting old," she kids him.
"Hey if I'm getting old, you're getting," he begins.
"I'd be careful with how you finish that sentence if I were you," she advises leaning into him.
"I was gonna say more beautiful by the day," he responds then plants a lingering kiss on her temple.
"Nice save Stabler," she tells him. After a few moments of silence she speaks up again. "I…found your note."
"I'm glad," he says. "I rewrote it like six times before I felt like I had it right," he admits.
"Thank you for taking the time to write it," she says laying her hand on his stomach. "I think I needed it."
"You're welcome," he tells her. "I meant every word Liv, I can't apologize enough for how I left things and I'm so s-"
This time she's the one that interrupts his words with a kiss. It's tender and unhurried. She turns, laying her hand against his face to better control things. Elliot threads his hands through her soft auburn hair, resisting the urge to lay her down.
As they pull apart to breathe she smiles at him.
"I know you're sorry El," she informs him. "I can hear it in your voice, can tell by the messages you leave when we miss each other's calls, the way you hold me, kiss me," she says eying his lips again but controls herself.
"I should probably get going," he says releasing her to get up.
"Actually I was hoping you'd sleep here," she says grabbing his hand. "Just sleep," she adds eying him seriously.
"I don't know," he says grinning. "What if I can't trust you with my virtue," he asks.
"I'm pretty sure we're both too tired for anything but sleep," she answers laughing at his silliness leading him by the hand into her bedroom.
She finds Elliot some sweat pants and a t-shirt he'd left there from one of many times they'd gone running together. After he's changed he slides in next to her lying on his back with his arms folded beneath the pillow.
Olivia doesn't hesitate to roll into him laying her head on his chest and her arm over his stomach.
"I think you're using me like a big old teddy bear," he tells her putting an arm around her pulling her in closer.
"And you're problem with that is what," she asks, smiling up at him as her eyes get heavier.
"None at all," he says kissing the top of her head. "I'm available for weekends, holidays, overnight stays," he continues hearing her laugh against him. "Or if you're just having a bad day."
"You sure you're up for that," she asks. "It could get time consuming."
"I'll make time," he tells her rubbing a thumb against the skin of her waist. The rhythm is soothing causing her to fall asleep altogether. When he thinks she's really sleeping he chances telling her.
"I love you," he whispers.
She just smiles contentedly and slips deeper into a blissful slumber absent of nightmares.
Hope you guys enjoyed the story. Let me know with a review either way. Please and thank you.