** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1
Car Trouble 2/?
"Gerry try to calm down it won't be long till the AA is here just breathe properly before you hyperventilate will you." It's only been ten minutes since I hung up the phone and you and I both know that it is going to be quite a while before we see anything resembling a breakdown service but you have no idea how close to turning blue he is right now. If I don't find a way to distract him soon this could get very ugly. "It's not such a terrible thing being stuck in a confined space with me is it? Ignore what's outside the window look at me focus on me."
"How long did they say they'd be?" Whatever she says now it's a lie I saw that flicker of "should I or shouldn't I tell him" doubt dance across her eyes. Half an hour? Yeah right see I told you didn't I? Damn this is bad; if I do what she says and look at her focus on her completely and ignore what's outside it will work but it will start a whole new set of problems. See there are times when I find it hard enough to be in the same room as her without… well without things getting hard enough if you know what I mean. If I have to spend the next however long it is staring directly at her face I'm going to start thinking about all the parts of her face that I love, the colour of her eyes, the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs, her lips and how I'd love to kiss them. Oh god this is bad.
"Look it doesn't matter how long it takes for them to get here we'll be fine it's just trees it's only 7.30 it's not the middle of the night or anything and so long you look at me and not out the window it's ok. Let's talk about the case. We've all agreed Mason is guilty how the hell are we going to get his wife to admit he wasn't with her when we know he was bumping off his mother. Why is she even protecting him anyway, he's a tosser who shows her now respect at all." That's it Sandra keep the conversation focused on work don't think too much about the way he was looking at you. I swear if it was anyone else looking at me like I'm sure he just was I'd not have to think too hard about how to distract him. I'm imaging it though or I'm interpreting the nervous way he keeps looking from my eyes to my lips as something it's not. I told him to focus on me and nothing else I can't blame him for doing exactly what I told him to can I?
"Well some women don't know what's good for them were men are concerned, they'll defend idiots who treat them like shite till the end of time and have no idea why anyone finds it unusual." She should know, god you've no idea who many class A wankers I've watched treat her like crap over the years. For an intelligent woman she can be really thick where men are concerned. I wonder what she sees when she looks in the mirror. She's a beautiful woman, stunning, she's razor sharp, strong, independent, basically everything any self-respecting man would kill for in a woman and yet she only goes for the ones who treat her like something they've stepped in. Jesus now she's looking at me with her head slightly tilted and puzzlement in her eyes, this really isn't helping the little problem I mentioned earlier and it's fast growing from a little problem into a big one. If it wasn't for the fucking trees all round I'd get out of the car in the hope some air and some distance from her would help.
"Gerry you're panicking again you've gone all flushed and if I took your pulse right now it would be through the roof, I'm starting to get worried, you're not going to completely freak out on me are you?" You should see him he's practically scarlet and I meant it when I said I was starting to get worried right now all I can see are two possibilities. One he gets freaked about by being confined in the car and gets out sending him into complete phobic overdrive or two he starts to really hyperventilate this time and I've no idea who to cope with either of those options. His hand is so close to mine on the arm rest between the seats that I can feel the heat radiating from it and it's taking all of my self-control not to take it in mine in a gesture that would seriously affect the atmosphere in the car. God I need some air, now!
"Sandra where the hell are you doing do not get out of the car you've no idea what's out there it could be…" Shit why the hell can't she just listen for one, she is bloody impossible what is she thinking. Now I'm really starting to panic there could be anything out there, anyone and she's casually leaning against the bonnet of the car like it's a sunny summer afternoon at the fucking beach. "Will you get back in the car Sandra, please if you have never done a single thing I've asked before and never do again please do this one thing for me and get into the car."
"Jesus Gerry ok, ok, I'm getting back in now. God if something was going to carry me off into the night at least you've got the car keys and you could have turned around once the AA came and gone home instead of going on what you have made perfectly clear you think is a wild goose chance. Don't tell me you'd miss me if I disappeared of the face of the earth!" I'm back in the car now and the relief on his face as I close the door is almost laughable. You know we all talk about people being phobic about this or that but there's nothing like seeing it first hand to know how much it affects a person physically. He's actually holding on to my arm like he's worried I might be about to try to move again. This is new, ok it's not exactly a gesture of love but compared to the barely there touches of we've exchanged over the years it'll do for me. I'm sure I'm the one who's a very attractive shade of beetroot now and who's pulse is racing I sure as hell hope it's not as obvious to him as the same symptoms in him were to me.
"Don't do that again just stay in the car until the AA come because pain in the arse and all as you are I'd rather you weren't snatched off into the woods by god knows what. I'd only have to explain it to Jack and Brian and the paperwork would be a bitch! Besides I've got used to you as my boss it'd take years to break in a new guvnor." I know I'm rambling now I sound like a madman and I hope she can put it down to me being nervous about our location rather than the fact that all joking aside the idea of something happening to her scares me more than being stuck in the middle of the biggest forest in the world.
"Yeah the paperwork on losing you commanding officer in the middle of a trip to visit a suspect would be a real bitch." Joking that's the way to cover my discomfort at the way he's definitely looking at me this time. Oh god Sandra just do it what the hell if he recoils in disgust you can say he was panicking and you were trying to distract him before he completely lost it. Go on you'll never get a better opportunity than this, one kiss that can't possibly make things more ….. Shit what was that? There's just been a loud noise from the woods which after my initial surprise I've realised is a fox or some house cats or something but he's gone sheet white and there really is only one option now.
Oh god I have no idea what that noise was but suddenly I don't care she's kissing me. Yes her, Sandra Pullman is kissing me and I've gotta tell you it's not a friendly everything's going to be ok sort of a kiss. It's a full on pulse racing heart pounding kiss. I've no idea where this came from or why it's happening now but I intend to make the most of it. The woman I have loved and lusted after for longer than I care to remember is kissing me if I let this pass without showing her how much I'd like her to keep doing it then I really would be an idiot.
He's kissing me back! It took him a second to get over the initial shock but now he had recovered he's kissing me with as much desire as I'm feeling for him. I don't know if any of this is actually happening or if I'm going to wake up in a second with the AA man banging on the window but either way I'm not going to question it. Yet!