Impatiently waiting for spring. I want to ride my bike again without freezing my ass off and catching yet another cold. Just freakin' great.

Ah, yeah, let's go on with this one.

2.

I definitely forgot how loud it can be in bars. Especially bars with a dance floor. I choose a seat at the end of the long bar and order a beer, watching the people that surround me. I just remembered today being Friday as I see how many people are out on the streets at 2 am in the morning. Despite this being Vegas, there is still a noticeable difference between a weekday and Friday and Saturday nights. It's the nights when added to the usual hordes of tourists the locals with regular jobs enjoy their days, and nights, off.

There are small groups occupying the larger tables, laughing, talking, drinking, enjoying themselves. A few couples, a lot of people on their own, looking for someone to talk to or just some distraction, dancing and drowning their worries in alcohol, dimming, shuttting out the world for a couple of hours that end in a drunken haze or maybe in someone else's bed.

The atmosphere is light and peaceful nonetheless, most are still just here to have fun, no arguments, just music and chatter and laughter are to be heard. I try to relax and order a shot with my next beer and let myself be sucked into the general mood that engulfs the room.

Just as I feel myself becoming dazed and my ever racing mind is slowly clouded by a light fog left behind by my third drink, I see them. And I can't look away. Why here, why today, we haven't run into one another for almost four months now. I don't want to see them as happy as they appear to be when I haven'T even begun to really cope with the whole situation.. Dancing wildly, surrounded by one or two people whose faces I vaguely remember, having met them once or twice and in the arms of the other one. The one they cheated on me with. So it wasn't just a drunken one night stand, it was something real. Or it grew into something real after I left. I can only guess.

But boy, does it still hurt.

I did a good job not thinking too much about what I lost so far. I misstheir physical presence, I miss not being alone when I got home, I miss all the things we did together, but I have avoided so far to remember that I had planned on loving them for the rest of my life. Well, not planned, it had just happened. No more starting over, no dreading process of getting to know someone, no fights with myself anymore whether someone is worth to be let in, to be trusted, I really thought that was all over. Being known can be a real warm and fuzzy feeling. We shared such a comfortable and easy trust, it all came so naturally with them.

I decide to put on a brave and detached face, in case they notice me.

That's when I get the gut feeling that someone is watching me. I always had that kind of sense, I just knew when someone stared at me, I was being followed or intently observed. Once in college that saved me from a rather nasty incident. I look around inconspicuously, but they are still merrily dancing and no one else seems to even look into my direction. I try to shake off the odd sensation, but it decides to linger.

Then the bartender sets a fresh Heineken down in front of me and tilts his head to get my attention.

His steel blue eyes bore into mine as I focus on him with a questioning look on my face.

"I'm supposed to tell you that a smile suits you much better than all the frowning you obviously have been doing way too much lately. Someone hates to see you sad, girl. Enjoy the beer."

He smiles a crooked but genuine smile, but makes no indication to tell me who it was that had him deliver this message to me. He pats the bar once, nodding encouragingly and turns to tend to all the other customers again.

I let my gaze wander through the overcrowded space once again. So someone was watching me. I repeat the message again in my head. 'A smile suits you much better...'. I haven't smiled all night, so it must be someone who has seen me before tonight. I look over to them, but shake my head, they hadn't left the dance floor yet, so there was no chance they had placed that order. And it just wasn't their style to be so cryptic.

Someone hated to see me sad. Strange as it may seem, at this moment that's an eerily comforting thought. I look into the mirror-covered back wall of the bar in front of me, raise the bottle a bit as if toasting to myself or even the unknown spender and try to smile. I haven't done that in such a long time that my face muscles have a hard time coming up with that abandoned expression, but after a second or two I succeed and I have to agree, smiling does suit me more than frowning.

I empty half the bottle in one go. And still feel like I'm being observed. The hairs in the back of my neck stand up and I sign the bartender to come back to me once more. He still has that warm smile on his face as he sets his elbows down on the wooden and well-worn surface of the bar in front of me and rests his chin on one hand.

"No. I'm not going to tell you what she looked like and yes, I have seen her here before. But she did seem surprised having spotted you here on the other hand. Girl, you look like you've had a rough time lately. Drink up and go home, have a good night's sleep and do something for yourself tomorrow. Just a professional advice from someone who's talked to a lot of people over the years."

I blink a couple of times to let sink in what he just summed up.

He straightens up and winks at me.

"Take it as it is, someone's looking out for you. Everything's not lost. Good night, Sara."

How does he know?

He leans in and frowns a bit apologetically.

"She told me your name. I'll call you a cab. It be a pleasure if you came back one day. And by the way, that smile of yours is really worth looking out for."

He turns and picks up the phone.

I'm at a complete loss for words. This barkeeper is really something else.

"Hey!" I shout over the overall noise to get his attention just one last time. "What's your name?"

His head whips back at me and he grins.

"I'm Marty. Cab'll be here in five."

I gulp down the rest of the still cool beer and looking at it I have to smile again. Not the way I had planned it, but coming here definitely took my thoughts off almost everything it was occupied with before.

I look over at my ex one last time and interestingly enough right now it doesn't hurt just as much as it had before anymore.

Stumbling out of the bar I take a deep breath of fresh night air and make my way over to the waiting taxi. All the way home I wonder who it could be that likes to see me smile. Seems I have a puzzle to piece together.