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She didn't sleep that long. Castle got to her apartment last night around four
and now it's seven thirty and she's waking up. Her body is still exhausted but
she won't go back to sleep yet. She's enjoying the feel of the man holding her
too much.

They're in the same position as they were when they got in bed last night. Palm
to palm and her back pressed into him. But Castle's other hand ended up
underneath her and is now resting on her stomach. It feels good, he feels good.
It feels good to finally be held by him after all this time. It's already hard
enough being this close to him. His body heat is radiating into her and warming
places the shower hadn't touched. It's making her want him. They've had this
sexual tension since they first met but she didn't realize just how intense it
was.

Now that's she's so close and with him holding her so tightly she really does
want to turn around and kiss him. But she has to quickly remind herself that,
that's not the reason why she needed him. This isn't about sex it's about her
almost losing her partner.

Kate lets go of Castle's hand so she could stretch her muscles out without
waking him. It seems he was waiting for a free hand too because they both ended
up stretching out but he still didn't wake. Instead when he was done he took his
now free hand and wrapped that one around her midsection too; unconsciously
tugging her closer. So it looked as if he was hugging her from behind.

The sun was just beginning to rise and she can see the light starting to come
through her blinds. Slowly Kate turned around in his arms so she could see his
face. The light was just shining and she watched as the sunlight rose on his
features. It was making his face look softer and his lips fuller.

He was so close to dying yesterday. This beautiful man could've been taken from
the world, from his family, and from her and for what? Because he happened to be
there when those idiots decided to go through with their plan to rob a bank.
Life is cruel and unfair. She honestly doesn't know if she'd be able to live
without him. He's become such a big part in her life that his absence would
leave a gaping hole in her.

Kate takes a hand and gently caresses his cheek. She doesn't want to wake him
because he looks to peaceful asleep, so serene. She doesn't want to disturb that
especially not after the day he's had yesterday. His skin is soft under her
fingers and just a little rough underneath his chin; where he needs to shave.
This is a moment she could live in forever.

After about a minute of her touching and staring she shifts her face closer to
his, so their noses are just barely touching. That's when Castle's eyes flutter
open and she's instantly hit with an enormous amount of blue. They shine at her,
even brighter with the sun directly in his face. His eyes right now are like
blue diamonds cast into a sunbeam or the overview of the ocean during midday.
Both just as intense and beautiful.

With her hand still rested on his cheek she spoke to him softly. "It's still
early go back to sleep." And that he did.

Castle didn't go to sleep as soon as she did last night. He wanted to stay up
longer just in case she had a change of heart and kicked him out. But also he
didn't know what to do. Kate Beckett called him at three in the morning then
pulls him into bed with her. What is he supposed to think? Did she want him to
make a move? He got to touch her all night and hold her to his chest something
he's dreamed about doing for years now.

Eventually he thinks he understood why it is that she wanted him there but he
believes that he deserves an explanation. That's why when he awakened two hours
later and she wasn't there he went searching for the answers that only she could
give him.

He found her in the kitchen only making slow subtle movements. Now that he can
see he takes the time to study her. A white pair of shorts and a long sleeved
shirt although the shorts seemed to be a bit oversized. Her hair is down and
just slightly tousled from sleeping. She's pouring coffee into two tall mugs on
the counter.

He wants to know what's going on in her head. He wants to know what she's
thinking. And he hopes it matches what he's thinking. That maybe last night was
the start of something new that maybe they could take their relationship to the
next level. Have that talk they both have been so desperate to have.

She had to get out of that bed. The need for him was growing to strong she
didn't think she could hold out much longer. It would've been to easy to simply
do him right then and let him feel how much she needs him than tell him. He
deserves an explanation so she'll give him one.

She hears him when he walks into the kitchen but he doesn't say anything.
Probably because he doesn't know it's okay.

"Morning," she said lowly while using one hand to sip her coffee and the other
to push Castle's cup in his direction.

He walked over to her and took the offered cup. "Good morning," he mumbled.

They both stood there silently just sipping their coffee. She knew she had to
tell him but she just didn't know how or where to start. But she decided that
she would just start anywhere.

"Castle look. About last night?"

"Yeah?" He interrupted, looking up from his mug to her eyes.

"I know it isn't something that we normally do." She sat down her mug. "But
yesterday I- I thought-"

"I died."

"Yeah. I just needed to be reassured that you were okay. Last night I just felt
like I had to protect you."

Castle smiled. "That's what partners are for." He understands but he wants to
know what this means for them, if it means anything.

"Great." She smiled back. Just as she was about to speak again he cut her off.

"I should get going. Alexis will wanna know where I am."

"Oh."

"See you tomorrow," he said as he gathered up his coat and shoes by the door and
left.

Life can be very cruel sometimes. She didn't get to tell him the whole story
like she wanted to. But she can't help but wonder if this is a good thing.