Ok, I know a lot of people are a bit thrown-off by the ship (ok that sounds funny) but I promise their relationship will not be the sole subject of this story. Like promised some Caskett family life and I hope you enjoy!
"God this was a mistake" Meredith huffed as she sat up in the bed, rubbing her eyes.
"Mistake? I thought we had fun?" Javier smiled as he stretched his limbs, placing his hand on her naked back, letting out a satisfied yawn.
Meredith sighed "we did, and I liked it, a lot," she said with a smirk, images of their love making flashing by "but what if everyone finds out?" she said rubbing her temples trying to sooth the headache from her hangover "it'll make everything just so much more complicated"
"They won't find out," Esposito smiled, his hand on her back now forming soothing circles causing goose bumps to spread all over her body "remember, we are strangers"
"Very close strangers" she grunted as she grabbed the blanket, draping herself with it like a cloak
"You are suddenly a prude, chica" he joked as he watched her scoot off the bed and picking up her scattered clothes from the floor.
Meredith turned around and smiled "strangers, remember" and made her way into the bathroom.
Javier blinked. Her disheveled sex hair looked like fire in contrast to the white blanket around her shoulders and Javier suddenly felt a jolt "you can't fall for her, dude" he whispered to himself as he picked up his pillow and placed it against the head board so he could sit up more comfortably, pulling another blanket over himself.
"You want to grab some breakfast?" he shouted at her while she was still in the bathroom.
She quickly reappeared, of course in the same outfit she wore yesterday but with less of a bed hair "No I am ok, just want to go to my hotel room and then visit my daughter,"
Javier nodded, trying to hide his disappointment.
"I hope you don't mind I used your spare toothbrush, it was still packaged"
Javier shrugged "no it's yours, I once bought it for my ex"
Meredith raised her eyebrow "didn't really work out I guess?"
Javier sighed and shook his head "no, but she was… yeah well anyway let's not talk about that right now"
There was a pregnant pause as Meredith shifted her weight on her sturdy yet elegant heels
"So strangers, huh?" Javier said softly.
Meredith slowly nodded "it's best, it's too complicated…"
Javier smirked and shrugged "I like complicated, I am a detective you know. I don't just play one on TV like you"
Meredith huffed as she walked closer to the handsome 'stranger' and leaned over to kiss him "thank you, for everything, I mean it" she whispered as she brushed her hand alongside his face. Taking him in for the last time.
Javier nodded with a smile, holding her close by her arms so she couldn't back off just yet. She could feel the sparks within her "you're gonna talk to Alexis?" he asked softly.
Meredith swallowed, blinking a few times "I will" not sounding too convinced, her face still close to his.
"It's going to be fine," he said reassuring "they are good people, I know firsthand" and let go of her arm reluctantly.
She nodded again, softly smiled and turned around. Taking a deep breath before walking away from him. She paused at the open door that lead to the hallway and dug her nails into the wooden frame. Still contemplating if she should just ask for his number.
"Hey, are you ok?" he asked. Hopeful that she would stay.
Meredith turned her head and gave him a faint smile "yeah, just never mind, I have to go. Bye" She quickly walked off as she closed the front door behind her so there was no way back.
Meredith was standing in front of the closed door to the loft. She shook her head, trying to rid her thoughts of him. Her knuckles hovered in front of the door as Javier's encouraging words kept repeating in her head.
When Meredith had called her daughter telling she wanted to visit, Alexis informed her that she was temporarily staying at her father's house. Meredith hadn't asked why, probably so they could help out with the baby, but it complicated it for her as she deep down kind of hated to be witness of the picture perfect family her ex husband had created for himself. And by hating that, she kind of hated herself.
Meredith took a deep breath and finally knocked on the front door of the loft. Of course it was Kate that answered who possessed such a natural unforced elegance to her that even opening a door looked like a dance.
Her green eyes looked questioning for a second before a smile formed on her face "Meredith! Come in!" she said. Kate was eying behind her, probably looking if she hadn't brought suitcases with her after invading the loft the last time she visited.
Meredith smiled and let out a forced chirpy "Hello!" before being quickly welcomed by the sound of a small child wailing.
"Excuse me" Kate said as she jumped up and made her way over to the toddler that had probably fallen off the couch and hit her head. Kate scooped up the child and peppered her face in kisses before the girl stopped crying and giggled instead.
Meredith closed the door behind her and looked around. The house looked lived in, even more so than years ago. Nothing like her LA apartment. There were kids stuff and picture frames everywhere, yet it still looked put together. A family home. But there was no sign of any other people other than Kate and her youngest "where is everyone?" Meredith asked.
Kate rolled her eyes and then smiled "Castle, I mean Rick, and the twins went last minute shopping, aka they are not-so-secretly buying me a Christmas present," she said and slowly shook her head "but Sophie wanted to stay with me" as she cuddled the child to her side who's big blue eyes observed Meredith in silence, tears still staining her cheeks.
Meredith nodded. She honestly didn't really care where her ex-husband was, not that she would say that out loud of course. No, even she had her boundaries. She was going to be nice today "and my daughter and granddaughter?" she asked, looking around the room again.
Kate faintly smiled as she adjusted the toddler at her hip "I'm sorry, but they're just fallen asleep. They'll be awake in an hour or so, I don't want to disturb them right now, Alexis is more than tired, you can imagine why" Kate answered with an apologetic smile.
Meredith heart sank "oh, of course," as she sat down on the couch which was covered with blankets, children's drawings and toys "and her fiancé?"
Kate quickly cleaned up the stuff on the couch with her free hand while holding on to the girl in her other arm who was still softly whimpering from her fall. Embarrassed by the amount of junk Kate tried to create a little more place to sit for her guest "Mark, like you know, is a journalist. He got an urgent call yesterday about a story he had to report on. Hopefully he'll be back on Christmas. Naturally he doesn't want to miss a second of his new daughter," she said with a smile until the realization of her words hit her, knowing it could be a bit of a sensitive subject for Meredith "I mean. You know… proud daddies"
Meredith forced a smile once again "I get it, don't worry" as she rolled her eyes while looking away. They both felt a bit awkward in each other's presence.
Kate let out a deep breath "so, you want something to drink?"
"Coffee would be nice" Meredith said as she sat up more straight, resting her leg over the other.
Kate nodded slowly. She noticed something was off with Meredith. She wasn't her bubbly, sometimes a bit obnoxious, self that she got to know as she went into the kitchen and poured herself and her guest some coffee as she put her youngest and only daughter on the ground.
"Sophie, go play, mommy has a guest"
"Who is she?" Sophie asked.
Meredith who was still sitting on the couch not that far away quirked her eyebrow as she listened in to the conversation between mother and daughter.
"It's Meredith, Alexis' mommy, don't you remember her?" Kate responded
"No," she answered shaking her head, her pig tails dancing "Alexis has a mommy?" the little girl asked with a frown on her face that resembles her mother's.
Meredith felt the color drain from already pale face when she heard the little child talk. Did Alexis really never talk about her? She shook her head and leaned back into the couch which she was convinced was filled with many, many germs and continued listening in to the conversation between mother and child
"Of course she has" she heard Kate say even though she'd lowered her voice.
Sophie quickly accepted the explanation but folded her arms in front of her chest "I wanna stay with you" the girl whined.
Kate sighed. She was tired of taking care of three small children, her husband on a Christmas-high, the occasional infant in the middle of the night and didn't feel like putting up a fight with the toddler.
"Ok, but Sophie, you need to be nice and let the adults talk alright?"
"Alright!" she answered elated and jumped up as she ran to her plush bunny and grabbed it from the ground climbing onto the couch next to Meredith who shifted her weight a bit. She didn't have a lot of experience with small children, the last time being… well with her own daughter and even then she didn't really know what to do.
"Look! This is Buns" the toddler said with a gap toothed grin. Holding the white stuffed thing in front of her face. It clearly was her favorite toy as its fur looked more than worn and it had two different eyes. She presumed someone else replaced it with a button and sown it on. And going by the name it probably once resembled a bunny.
Meredith couldn't help but smile at the child. Her enthusiasm was contagious and those big blue eyes were exactly Alexis' even though her daughter at the time was a lot less fiery as this kid "I remember Alexis having one, a plush animal I mean"
"A bunny?" Sophie gasped
"No it was actually a monkey"
"Oh," Sophie answered a bit disappointed "does she still have it?"
Meredith shrugged "erm, I am not sure"
"Maybe the baby has it now!"
"Sophie, what did I say?" Kate interrupted her daughter before she could 'disturb' their guest more, unable to hold back her laughter "she really is her father's daughter" Kate said apologetically shaking her head and sat down next to Meredith, handing over a steamy mug of coffee as Sophie cuddled into Kate's side. Kate stroked her daughter's dark hair with an adoring smile before focusing back on Meredith.
"So how have you been?" trying to make small talk.
"I've been good" Meredith simply answered and took a careful sip from the brown liquid.
"How's the acting going? I heard you had a regular role on a cop show?" Kate tried again.
Meredith smiled "yeah, I actually play a detective, have you seen it?"
"I don't have a lot of time to watch TV anymore, but I watched some yes… it's hard for me to watch though as it's so different from the real thing"
Meredith's smile fainted and shrugged "well it's TV"
"Yeah of course, of course. I get it, the hours spend just plowing through paper work doesn't make great TV"
Meredith took a deep breath. Kate really tried to have a conversation with her which was actually generous considering she is the ex-wife of her husband. Not many wives talked to their spouse's exes "So do you have tips for me? You know… to give it a little more authenticity" Meredith asked.
Kate blinked surprised "yes, of course. If you want?"
Meredith nodded and glanced at Sophie who's eyes were closed and was breathing steadily "I think she has fallen asleep" Meredith whispered pointing at the girl tucked into Kate's side.
"Yeah, I'll take her to bed. She insisted she didn't want to take a nap but you know how it goes"
"No I actually don't" Meredith thought but she nodded "um yeah, of course"
"Be right back" Kate said with an apologetic smile and gently pulled the kid from her side and put her over her shoulder. Sophie didn't even stir, her plush bunny held protectively in her small arms.
Meredith nodded and watched mother and daughter leave up the stairs. Being left alone in the big loft, she took the liberty to refill her mug with coffee before pausing at the many picture frames displayed through the house; there were a few wedding pictures where the soft colors of orange and pink from the sunset gorgeously formed the background. It looked intimate. Wholly different than what she had with him. She just realized that she wasn't even sure where those wedding pics of her and Rick were now. Probably in a box stored somewhere.
She stared at the other pictures. The twin boys as babies. Two premies with tubes down their nose held by their glowing mother and father, looking awfully small. Another pic of the twins in their soccer gear standing next to each other, it could have easily been just one of them next to a mirror that's how identical they looked. A smaller picture of Kate with a huge belly, her hands firmly placed on the curve as she laughed at the camera. Baby pictures of Sophie covered in what she presumed was once dinner and one in the baby swing at the park. A family picture including younger looking children, Rick, Kate, Martha and Alexis. Even a few sonogram pictures where one distinctively showed the outlines of the twins. Some older looking child pictures of Alexis being held by her father with her bright red hair sticking out from the background. Picture of Kate as a teenager with her mother and father. A picture of Rick as a six year old sitting on Martha's lap who was wearing some kind of costume and then some pictures of the happy couple that looked like snapshots from holidays she presumed. An unframed picture had been placed against the other frames and was one of her new born granddaughter just a week ago, it hadn't been framed yet. She smiled. She looked just like Alexis when she was a baby.
Meredith picked up the last picture which was a bit tucked away behind the others. It was of a newly born Alexis held by her, well a younger version of herself, still in the hospital. The picture has turned a bit yellow. Meredith breathed out as she traced the form of the squirmy little thing that had been placed in her arms with her thumb. She had smiled in the picture but her confused and sad eyes betrayed her. It made her sick to her stomach. Why couldn't she just be a normal mom? Why couldn't she just love that baby like Kate does which was so evident in those other pictures? Meredith tried to swallow her tears down but one big fat one rolled down her cheek and furiously wiped it away
"Meredith are you ok?" Kate asked seemed to come out of nowhere.
Meredith jumped up as the frame slipped from her hands and with a loud bang fell to the ground. She quickly kneeled down and picked up the frame but the loud noise had clearly awaken her granddaughter in the other room who started to wail "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Meredith exclaimed as she tried to put the picture back, knocking over a few other frames.
"Hey, hey it's ok! Don't worry," Kate said trying to calm down a now very panicked Meredith "nothing broke, look the glass is still intact" as she helped putting things back into place.
Meredith stared at the worried and confused expression on Kate's face that she only read as pity. She did not want pity and took a hasty step back. Before she could speak again the front door opened and with a lot of noise the twins ran in with a scolding Rick following them, telling them to calm down. Suddenly it was too much for Meredith. Her head was spinning and her brain just screamed that she needed to get out of there.
"Meredith?" Castle said as he saw his ex-wife made her way to the recently opened front door
"I, I got to go," she muttered, pulling on her coat haphazardly and grabbing her purse "I'm sorry I just-"
"Mom?" she suddenly heard through the noise just before she made her way out. Meredith looked over her shoulder where she spotted her daughter coming down the stairs with a screaming bundle in her arms. Alexis had a questioning expression on her tired face "you're leaving?" her voice now sounded accusing as she shifted the baby in her arms, bouncing her gently as a way of soothing her.
Meredith just blinked, her mouth agape "I-, I- need to go" she stammered and quickly got out of there, pulling the door behind her and fast walked to the elevator. Furiously pushing the button to go down. With a ping the doors opened and she almost jumped in. Leaning against the walls trying to get her breathing under control as her head spun.
"I can't do this"
Just a few things.
I would love for the series to show us more pictures just around the loft and stuff tbh.
Also this story has not been beta'd.
ALSO I need to figure out a name for the baby(girl) so leave a review with a name and i'll choose one :)