After Ivan had somehow managed to shake away the actual shock from both being left with a person he wasn't even supposed to take care of, and the fact that because he hadn't heard Matthew's voice since the day in the hospital; he was trying to adapt to the very quiet and emotion void blonde, and somehow, despite the urge to kick Matthew out and send him through FedEx back to Alfred, he managed to calm down and sat Matthew down on the couch.
Matthew only looked around and seemed to try and take in every little detail around him, making Ivan slightly unnerved, why the other was doing this was beyond him, but whatever made him happy he supposes.
He thought about turning the TV on for him, but what good was there to do that? The other seemed very happy to just be staring at the nothing and everything of his small apartment.
(If you could even call penthouse with relatively spacious rooms a small apartment.)
So instead he was now carrying the forgotten bags Alfred had placed down on the foyer before he left to the spare guest room, they were pretty heavy, but he wasn't about to search through them, not really thinking it'd be worth his time.
As he walked he couldn't help just asking himself why, why would Alfred ever trust him with Matthew? The other seemed very protective of the much younger (they confirmed his age to be nineteen, and Alfred was already twenty-two, making him go in an all-out older brother type of mode), in fact so much as that the last time he saw Matthew, Alfred was getting angry at a nurse for "Doing something Matthew wasn't liking" (because apparently the blonde had been in tears when Alfred came back from eating).
So why would Alfred not trust a simple nurse, who would do nothing wrong but help the hurt man, yet he'd trust him, someone who had, in the past, hurt him, mocked him, beaten him up, and basically became his sworn enemy?
Back then, in the years of high school and earlier years of college, Alfred and him fought at sight of each other, they couldn't be near each other by at least a kilometer or they would fight, and it wouldn't be pretty.
He'd always been annoyed with the blonde, being years younger than him, and having skipped grades like a breeze, seemed to get along so well with everyone around him, but he wasn't just annoyed because he got the attention and love of his peers, he was more annoyed because the blonde was a pain in the ass.
Alfred had never ceased to stop with seemingly wild and unpredictable chatter, a bright smile adorned his face whenever, even at points of time where he shouldn't (sure he knew when to wipe the smile of his face accordingly to the moment, but at least ninety percent of the time he'd be adorning his face with a smile of a million dollars, or a shit eating grin to him), and now you wouldn't think that'd be so annoying, and no, it wasn't, it was the most bearable of his features back then.
No. The thing that annoyed him the most about the American was one fact in all, he never got the idea behind "a person's personal space" and "people sometimes just need space", and if it wasn't that, the blonde continually got into people's business without being asked to, or hell, even if he wasn't involved at first; and regardless if he was, Alfred would always, and I mean always, get farther into it. Whether it was a couple's bickering or massive brawls between certain cliques, Alfred would always step in, playing "Hero" without knowing just how annoying and absolutely despised it was.
It wasn't just him, tons of people at their school and earlier years of college hated Alfred for it, but in the end, either they managed to get attached to the blonde, or never really hated him just as bad as Ivan had.
But he guesses, thinking back to that, he really doesn't hate the blonde anymore, does he? In the end he's like the rest, hating him for a while (albeit a very long and exhausting while until both of them called it off) before all the hate dropped, and eventually the two of them could sit together in a room without wanting to murder the other.
Of course, it hadn't come off as an easy…peace treaty. And it's all actually because of a drunken mistake, in which he and Alfred were so plastered, and (surprisingly) in the same party, found themselves and, instead of beating each other up into bloody pulps on the ground , decided that hey, why the hell not, and slept with each other.
That's right; Alfred and Ivan, two people who had sworn to hate the other till death do them apart, slept with each other. And of course, the secret got out, and even if it was the reason why the two of them can be kind of friends right now, at the time both were pissed, putting blame onto the other as much as possible, hell, both accused each other at some point for rape.
And the more the secret got out, the more people started to side with either of the too, quite a lot were on Alfred's side, but there seemed to be an equal amount on Ivan's (mostly the people who hated Alfred).
In the end though, it became tiring for both sides, until eventually the two of them could come to the conclusion that, the mistake was both theirs and, the two of them were assholes.
And soon enough the Russian could finally spend some sort of time with the American without wanting to do terrible and murderous things to the other.
(It took a whole bunch of vodka, his sisters, and couple of the people on his side to do so.)
But it isn't so bad, sometimes the American can get rather annoying, but now he's learnt to live with him, especially since lady luck was never on his side and he ended up being partners with him in their rescue team.
But never mind that, it's in the past now, and while the American's actions are…questionable (as of this morning), he still had to place the bags in the guest room, so he made his way through the hallway, walls lined with pictures of either paintings he's bought on the streets, or family pictures of his sisters and him.
Until finally he stopped in front of the farthest room to the left, the one closest to his own, placing the bags he carried on his right hand down as he slowly pushed the door opened, revealing a nice, white and greyish scale like room.
It wasn't that the other rooms in the apartment were anything more colorful than this, they really weren't. But this one was especially bland, a very pale cream colour painted the walls, a couple of paintings hung on the wall, three of them to be exact, there was a nice, spacious bed, that had white colored sheets and a nice, grey and brown comforter, with a nice, delicate pattern, adorning it, there was a TV there too, not nearly as big as the one on the living room, or the ones in the other rooms, but either way it was nice to have.
He didn't pay attention to the frosty feel to the room, after all, it hasn't been used at all since…well…He, died.
But let's not get into any details, he shook his head as he picked the bags on the floor and placed all of them on the floor, right next to the bed, and while he's at it he wonders just how much the small, barely alive man such as Matthew needs, and he finds himself pretty curious as he slowly kneels down close to one of the bags, a duffel one at that, and slowly opens it, the zipper making a (slightly) loud noise through the empty room.
Inside, what he finds really, is a couple of pairs of clothes, regular and almost casual clothes at that, that looked like they were Matthew's clothes, clothes Alfred had probably had to buy for him, and maybe annoy a couple of people for measurements, considering they looked small enough to fit Matthew's frame; but that just might be him, with his height and size anything below him he found awfully small.
And then it catches his eye, a letter, neatly placed atop of the clothes and, miraculously not crushed, sits there, and his temptation and curiosity gets the best of him as he picks up the neat letter into his rough and large hand as he opens it, practically tearing through the coverage (a nice pale blue colour might he add) as he reads the letter, noticing right at first that it was addressed to him.
Hey Ivan man!
The letter starts, and Ivan almost wants to cringe because just looking at how the letter starts he just knows who it's from, the obnoxious American wrote this, didn't he?
I guess if you're reading this it means that Matthew's safe with you enough so that you could leave him alone in a room while you went through his stuff, or he gave the letter to you, whichever it is I trust he's fine at the moment, but if you did go over his stuff, man Ivan, you got some weird issues.
Ivan could feel his eye twitch, obviously getting annoyed by the second he read at the American's letter, he hadn't meant to "go through his stuff" he was curious just why there was so many bags, how much stuff could he have anyways?
But don't worry; I'm not judging or anything. Where was I going with this letter? Oh right!
Screw the eye twitch, he felt a headache coming on, just why was this idiot taking care of another human again? Oh right, he had lost a game of rock, paper scissors…
Anyways, I'm writing this cause I'm awesome enough to warn you about a few things you might want to know before the day is over, ready or not, he's your responsibility for the mean while.
And whose fault does Alfred think that is? Matthew wouldn't ever have to be his responsibility if it weren't for Alfred.
So, I'll start with the first thing, he doesn't sleep alone, he hates sleeping alone. He'll start crying and stuff, it's actually pretty depressing, now, don't get any wrong ideas, pervert. I'm not asking you to sleep in the same bed with him, I'm asking you to not be an idiot and leave him in one of your creepy ass empty rooms by himself while he sleeps.
He…Cries? He didn't know that, what could possibly cause that man to start crying and throwing a fit (by mere speculation) by sleeping alone and only sleeping alone? He isn't going to sleep anywhere near the other though, never been one to do it anyways. Maybe he could get out some of the old stuffed animals Natalia had given him over the years and give him a few so he could feel some sort of comfort through it? He really didn't know, but oh well, he had enough time until sundown to do so
Second of all, he's recently been watching a lot of TV! Mostly cartoons, and if you leave Netflix on for him, he'll binge watch a lot of cartoons and anime, recently he's watching this one anime…It's called Attack on Titan, I watched it a long time ago with Kiku, but apparently Matthew seems to like it a lot too! So that means that if you're going to work this week and leaving him, it means that just leave the TV on, or the remote nearby and he'll be fine!
Now that puzzled him, he had assumed Matthew wouldn't really be keen on watching TV but…He focused on the small noise coming from the living room, talking seemed to come from it, so he assumed the other had found the remote and concludes that no, Alfred wasn't lying to him.
Third of all, and it kind of relates with work, I told boss you'll be taking care of Matthew for the week, so you can skip at least Monday and he won't nag an ear out of you, but since the third one is really small, I'll add in the fourth one right inside the third's paragraph okay? Okay! He needs to take his medications, they're all in the little bag with small yellow chicks, don't ask, it's a gift from Gilbert, also, doctor is expecting him on Monday morning, which is kind of why I told you 'bout how boss will let it slide.
So not only does Alfred leave him alone with Matthew, but expects him to lose a day from his job (He's a bit of a workaholic) to take someone to the doctor, if anything, it seemed like Alfred was dumping a bit too much responsibility on him…
And fourth of all! And this is the most important one, after Matthew goes to sleep, skype me. I have something really important to tell you, and it's kind of important or too long to write in this letter, anyways bye, take care of Mattie!
And the note ends there… Ivan raised an eyebrow, before pocketing the letter, why would Alfred specify to skype with him, after Matthew was asleep, just to tell him something important? Something seemed fishy there but…I guess it might just be him being a little weirded out.
Regardless, he didn't really want to come off as a creep to Matthew if he came into the room and found one of his bags opened, so he zipped the duffel back closed and stood up, walking out of the room, now he just had to show Matthew the room and he could go on his merry way.
As he walked down the halls he couldn't help but think, just how was he going to work out this…Not able to sleep alone problem? How did Alfred even deal with it? Sure the man was known to captivate hearts of a lot of ladies, so surely the man has had girls in his bed before, but the usually rough and loud American was softer, nicer and gentler with Matthew, afraid he'd break…Maybe he should ask the American when he skyped him, or text him, but he doubts he's going to answer any time soon, considering it'd be a couple of hours before he was back home, or had the energy enough to do so.
He guessed he could only shrug it off for now as he walked back to the living room, and sure enough, Matthew was there, curled up on the farthest end of the couch and basically making himself as small as possible as he snuggled close to his hoodie (not that it was complicated, seriously, that had to be at least a couple of sizes bigger than him), wide eyes watching the TV intently, it didn't look like he was watching anime, but he was watching a show he recognized, Natalia having talked his ear out about it (she's a bit of a fangirl when she isn't creeping around or busy studying), Miraculous Ladybug, if he remembers correctly, it isn't the best one Natalia has shown him, but it was nice to watch while he was bored or looking for something to watch (or drunk off his ass), still though, Matthew looked like he was really enjoying it.
However, once his feet made a sound against the hardwood floors, Matthew's eyes snapped to quickly look at Ivan, eyes looking very distrusting and that alone seemed to annoy Ivan, what? What did this weak little man in front of him think? That he'd snap him in half? Okay, it might be possible with his size, but Ivan has more right to not trust Matthew than Matthew has of not trusting Ivan.
Let's put it this way; if you were to find an almost dead person, who has absolutely no backstory to him, and are forced to take care of him, wouldn't you at least feel a little bit uneasy?
No? Yes? It doesn't matter, it's just how Ivan reacts, and he has a bit of a right, considering he hadn't even expected Matthew to survive a week.
So no, he couldn't stop the annoyed sound and raising of eyebrow, the crossing of his arms over his chest as he stared pointedly at Matthew "What?" he asked, and no, of course he couldn't stop the distrust and slight rudeness in his tone
However, before he could even think that, hey Ivan you're being an asshole, Matthew had already flinched, not once, but twice as he quickly looked away and back to the TV, cowering into the hoodie as he desperately tried to hide his face "S-Sorry…" he stuttered out finally, and Ivan couldn't help the small pang of guilt that crashed down on him.
He hadn't meant to be that much of an asshole…Okay maybe a little bit, but that's because he generally is around strangers, or appears as rude to most, at least. So he quickly went to pat Matthew's head and apologize, when his phone buzzed.
He sighed, lowering the hand that was ready to pet down as he looked at his phone, to his surprise, he found a text from Alfred, he wasn't really expecting it, so he quickly unlocked his phone and opened up messages, tapping atop of the bright icon with Alfred's face on it as he scanned the message.
Hey dude! Did you read the letter? Don't worry if you have or haven't (if you haven't it's in the duffel bag), but like, I was totally pissed when I noticed I didn't put Matthew's medication hour taking thingies in it! :0
He snorted a little at the message, just now realizing that no, Alfred really hadn't told him… Oh well.
Anyways, because I forgot, I'll tell you now, the red ones are to be taken at 8:30, and since it's 8, give it a couple of minutes before you give them to him, the blue ones are taken right after he eats his breakfast, lunch and dinner, you don't have to worry about breakfast, he already took that one and ate breakfast! Haha I'm so responsible! Anyways…The really white ones that are super tiny are taken in the afternoon, after he takes his nap, and yes, he always does take his nap. But if you're wondering around what hour, at around 3 PM should be fine.
That seemed like a lot of pills to Ivan, but he guesses it's all now and- Oh, another message? And also full of pills… And what time to take them, he might as well copy the list to his notes on the phone, or put alarms for it, in case he really does forget, so he read through them, until he was sure he got to the last one, raising an eyebrow at it in confusion.
And then there's the last one, right before you send him to bed, make him take it, even if he doesn't want to. It's…For insomnia, even if he sleeps with someone next to him he won't sleep sometimes, the pill makes him sort of sleepy, anyways, it's the really small, lime green colored one. My planes about to start loading now, so I'm gonna leave ya now, good luck!
Insomnia? That small man had insomnia? It did sort of explain why he won't sleep in a room alone…yet still, It's sort of confusing, but regardless, he isn't about to ask very stupid questions.
He glanced from his phone to Matthew, sighing when he caught Matthew quickly looking to Ivan and rapidly back to the screen, he felt the feeling of guilt coming back to him, but he could only shrug it off as he turned around, pocketing his phone.
"I'm going to be in my office alright? I have some papers to do, I'll be giving you your lunch and medicine when the time comes alright?" he said while disappearing into the hall, not bothering to hear the small "Okay" that came from Matthew.
oOo Page break oOo
And he did, for the entirety of the day he gave Matthew his medications, gave him food and some snacks, while the two stayed far away from each other, Ivan trying to finish some last minute papers, and Matthew binge watching a lot of cartoons, and the occasional movie.
But at least it wasn't entirely bad, Matthew after a while wasn't as tense or flinching every second Ivan was around and actually seemed to relax while Ivan was around him, maybe a reflex? He didn't know.
Eventually though, night rolled around, and Ivan finally managed to finish his papers as he walked out of the room, looking to the TV, and then back at Matthew, who was still watching the TV as intently as ever, he cleared his throat, making Matthew look towards him, blinking his wide eyes "Yes?" he asked, voice still pretty soft and almost inexistent.
"I...Seeing as you already ate dinner, it's time to go to bed, so why don't I give you your last pill?" he tried, voice not as rough or mean as before, he found out that roughness and the aura of fear that seemed to haunt him wasn't going to get him anywhere with Matthew.
The strawberry blonde nodded, standing up from the couch as he followed Ivan to the kitchen, standing near the doorway as the large man worked and moved around the kitchen, getting the glass from one of the highest places of it, and then pouring some water into it before he handed the glass to Matthew, fishing out from his pockets the pill holder, and taking out a lime green one, offering to it to Matthew.
Matthew took a sip from the water so the pill could go through a little more smoothly, before placing the pill into his mouth hand downing it down with the water, before he held the glass back to Ivan, looking down at the floor, the pill he hated the most was this one, it made him drowsy and sleepy…And frankly, he didn't like it at all, sleeping…It…It bothered him, he didn't feel safe enough, not strong enough to sleep alone either, even if Alfred slept with him he felt like he'd be attacked, even if he was in a nice apartment with nice people, fear just took over him at night.
But he didn't dare voice what he felt, let a doctor, who thought he knew all about the problems in the world, medicate him with pills he's learned to hate long before he was attacked, long before they found him…
So instead he lets Ivan lead him to a very pale and colorless room, lets the other man lay him down on the bed, he thinks this is going too fast and too blurry for him, but he blames it all on the stupid medication that makes him unable to tell something from another thing once taken, he lets Ivan tuck him in, and way before he can fully close his eyes and let sleep take over, even if panic claws at him, Ivan comes back, a huge teddy bear in hand, he looks sheepish, maybe embarrassed?
"This is my sister's…It's one of her favourites, Alfred told me about how you can't sleep alone, and I hardly think you want to come and sleep with me, so uh…You can just pretend this is someone right?" he mumbled a little too fast as he laid the stuffed animal next to Matthew, and was sort of surprised when the other clung to it, but considering what he'd been told…It's no surprise is there?
So when he makes sure Matthew's asleep, clinging to the bear, he brushes some strands of hair from his face, leans down, completely forgetting who Matthew is, that this isn't his sister clinging to this toy, this is a man who's still scared of him, and kissed Matthew's forehead, before he realized his mistake and quickly bolted out of the room.
Too bad he didn't notice the pair of eyes opening and the face that adorned them turning beet red.
He sighed, going back to his office as he booted up his computer again, as soon as the lag and unnecessary things were gone, he logged into skype, clicking on Alfred's profile and skype name and dialing him, waiting for the other to pick up.
And he did, the American and him talked for a little bit, nothing really seemed to happen until…
"So…Ivan, I guess I haven't told you about what was so important huh?" a nervous chuckle came from the blonde on the other side of the screen, making Ivan raise an eyebrow in confusion.
"Well no, but I assume you're going to now?" something was off here…
"Yeah…I mean, it's not like you'll care I think, but I just thought it'd be important to mention…" the American looked away from the camera, before he continued "You know how I said I didn't tell my parents about him? That…Was a lie."
Ivan raised an eyebrow, a wave of anger getting to him but…He managed to calm it down and just answered with a very passive aggressive "Oh?"
Alfred looked guilty, nodding "Yeah, I mean, I did tell them, and they said they'd be more than happy to meet him but…When I showed him a picture of them, he freaked out, crying and screaming, it took me three hours to calm him down…" he explained, sighing "I'm sorry I dumped him on you but, I showed him yesterday and I didn't want him to hate me, to fear my parents…" he gave an aspirated sigh, brushing his bangs back a little "I don't know what the fuck is going on but…He was so afraid I…Never saw him that scared before." He shrugged "I guess it might be some sort of trauma but…"
Ivan sighed "It feels like he knows them?"
The American nodded, sighing "It doesn't feel right."
"You do know most people who suffer some sort of family trauma that…when they see something like a family…they freak out, you do know that right? It might've just been his reflex Alik."
Alfred grumbled "I know, but I just…It feels off, it might just be my paranoia, but oh well, anyways, gotta go! Mom's making pie and I'd hate to miss it!" and before Ivan had a say in it, he logged off, leaving Ivan in silence.
Ivan sighed, rubbing his temples, why would Matthew be so afraid? He knows some people do suffer from that but…It's so unlikely; did Matthew know Alfred's parents at some point? No…There's no way. Though Alfred's parents were pretty young, there was no way was there? They didn't even know if Matthew had ever known what a family was.
His trail of thought was broken by the figure at the door, more like Matthew, who held the stuffed bear given to him close, sniffling, tears in his eyes, and Ivan wanted to curse because this might be the fear getting to him.
"Yes Matthew?" he tried to be as nice as possible, and was shocked when the other moved closer, climbing into his lap as he nuzzled there, still holding the teddy as close to himself as possible.
"I-I can't sl-sleep alone…" he seemed to whisper after a while, and Ivan felt so bad, he could only sigh as he closed his computer, picking Matthew up bridal style as he walked back down the halls and into his room, one thing led to another and eventually Matthew was snuggled close to him, sleeping soundly.
And Ivan thinks that this is probably the closest he's been to someone while he slept in a long, long time. It's rather strange and he isn't sure if he likes the feeling, but at least he felt warm and it was nice…And with that thought in mind he fell asleep.
When he woke up in the morning, and found that he couldn't move, he almost flinched when he saw Matthew, until he remembered the night before, and sighed, slumping slightly as he relaxed, before he remembered that hey, he needed to do things, and pried Matthew off of him, even if it slightly broke him to pry the sleeping angel-looking man away from him.
At least his first day caring for Matthew wasn't so bad, acting so nice however…He wasn't a big fan of it, but if that jerk Alfred could do it, he could too. And with that thought in mind he headed to the kitchen, going to prepare breakfast.