Chapter Two

Did You Hear the One about the Decepticon, the Forensic Specialist and the Israeli?

Wheelie, to avoid scaring people, transformed into his truck and casually rolled next to Ziva, who walked with a stride that spoke of confidence and resilience. On the way to Abby's lab, they passed by autopsy and accidentally ran into Palmer. In Wheelie's case, he literally ran into Palmer, who was carrying a tray of recently acquired surgical tools for Doctor Mallard, and would've dropped them all over the floor and possibly impaled Wheelie had Ziva not interacted at the last second.

"Thanks Ziva" Palmer said as he steadied himself, "I guess I just lost my balance."

"Not really-" Ziva started to say, before she was cut off by Wheelie ramming into her leg, "I mean" she covered, "It happens to the best of us right?"

Palmer nodded, "I suppose so" he replied as he walked past, "Any way, have a nice David, see you at the bar later?"

Ziva ignored him, for she made a point never to talk about the bar during work hours. Ziva and Wheelie continued towards Abby's lab. When Wheelie was far enough away, he reverted back to his robotic form.

"When it comes to me Agent David" Wheelie began, "I don't exist, understand?"

Ziva looked down at him curiously, "And why is that?"

Wheelie sighed reluctantly, "Ever heard of Sector Seven?"

Ziva shook her head

"Exactly" Wheelie continued, "Sector Seven was the organization that didn't exist. Their job was to capture and detain Autobots, Decepticons and anyone who had any information on em. An organization that I'm told, NCIS had a piece in."

Ziva stopped walking and faced Wheelie directly, "What are you talking about?" Ziva asked, "I've never heard of such an organization? There are no secrets in these walls that agents don't know about."

Wheelie laughed, not believing Ziva's statement, "I knew I was right when I said you weren't bright. It's either that or you're the smartest girl I've ever met and are just really good at playing the dumb card."

Ziva said nothing

"So which is it?" Wheelie continued

"Which is what?" Ziva replied, extremely confused by his meaning

Wheelie slapped himself out of pity and shook his head in disbelief, "You ain't bright or you're playing with me sweetheart, you can't be doin' both. Now which one are you doing?"

Ziva huffed, "I don't have to answer that question."

Wheelie laughed again, this time it was warmer, they continued walking, "Ah, yes you do. If you want my help you have to answer."

Ziva stopped again; they were now standing in front of Abby's door. "Help" she said, "What kind of help did you offer?"

Wheelie did not answer her and immediately dropped the subject, for now he had said too much.

"Entry #476" Wheelie began in his database, "Humans are smarter than you think. Don't underestimate them. Keep a close eye on David, she's asking questions. Tony is questionable. McGee is harmless. Palmer is a liability until further notice. Abby remains to be seen. Observe and report to Starscream as soon available. Avoid Gibbs and this "Vance" character at all costs unless absolutely necessary."

Ziva opened the door and they both entered Abby's lab. Blasting on the radio was A Day to Remember, not Abby's usual forte, but she was experimenting. Specifically the song was "This Document Speaks for Itself"Abby was at the table looking at tire tracks found at the latest scene when Ziva and Wheelie walked up to her.

"Hey Abby" Ziva said causing Abby to turn around

"Ziva!" Abby screamed before she turned down the music, much to Wheelie's delight who had covered his ears the entire time. Wheelie then remembered a gift that Soundwave had given him for his birthday one year, his own personal internal stereo. To keep the flow of the room going, Wheelie remotely connected Abby's stereo to his own which allowed his stereo to play whatever music that Abby had on at the time.

(Why can't you see, what three words have done to me? I never knew I was alone, you turned your back, you broke this home.)

Abby looked around, for she had heard the music and was wondering where it was coming from. She looked at her stereo and noticed that she had actually turned it off, instead of simply turning down the music, yet somehow the music was playing exactly where the song left off when Abby cut it. Wheelie playfully leaned on the table nearby and tapped his fingers nonchalantly, which scrapped like nails to a chalkboard, catching Abby and Ziva's attention.

"What is that thing?" Abby asked, turning to Ziva for an explanation

"That's Wheelie" Ziva answered, "He's a Decepticon."

The only thing that Abby got from this was Wheelie's name, for she had no idea as to what a Decepticon was. Ziva didn't either and was simply relaying what she had heard from earlier to Abby.

Wheelie, seeing this confusion, decided that now would be a good time for clarification. Wheelie attempted to get up on the table, but Wheelie, being Wheelie, was extremely vertically challenged. But then Wheelie being Wheelie, he knew how to improvise. Wheelie rolled his neck and cracked his knuckles, which sounded like spoons and forks clinging together and lifted up his feet activating his advanced traction on his wheels and drove straight up the side of the table as if it were nothing.

Ziva and Abby were easily surprised by this, this new information completely overtaking their lack of knowing what a Decepticon is. Wheelie cleared his throat and cut off the music, practically demanding their attention.

"Now, I think it's time that I explain a few things-" Wheelie began, before he could get so much as another word out, Abby screamed, it was not one of fear but one of a teenage girl at a boy band concert, something like One Direction.

"Oh my god" Abby replied, "It's so cute!"

Wheelie straightened up at this, offended by the notion of being cute. "Hey lady" Wheelie said sternly, "I ain't cute."

Abby didn't hear him and pulled Wheelie into a bear hug, causing Wheelie to grasp for air, despite the fact that he didn't need it to begin with.

"I am a highly intelligent alien life form!" Wheelie screamed as he struggled to break free from Abby's grasp, "Not a teddy bear!" Ziva poked Abby and gave her a look, causing her to let go.

Wheelie jumped back on to the table and brushed himself off. "Now that that's out of the way, maybe we can come to some sort of understanding?" Wheelie didn't get an answer and so continued. "Now before I say anything. Let me warn you that I've taken the liberty of shutting down the cameras and turning off the microphones on this floor while I was in the elevator. This information is extremely confidential and stays between us, got it?" Ziva and Abby nodded in understanding. " Good" Wheelie stated, "Now where to begin?"

"Well I guess the best place to start is from the beginning. It all started on Cybertron, under the rule of the Primes, the leaders of my race. Megatron, the General of the Cybertron Army, thought that the Primes were tyrannical dictators that needed to be destroyed. Optimus, the Ambassador of the Primes, believed that the Primes were the rightful rulers. This resulted in a long and terrible civil war that lasted for three millenniums between the Decepticons, under Megatron, and the Autobots, under Optimus Prime."

Wheelie intentionally left out that he was a Decepticon, the fact that the Decepticons wanted to control the universe through a purity war that would cleanse the universe of all live save for the Cybertron race and the existence of the All Spark.

"Somehow we ended up here on Earth. That's all I can say about that"

Wheelie said this last part imitating the exact voice of Forrest Gump, courtesy of his radio. Abby and Ziva laughed at this, which made Wheelie smile from ear to ear, for if there was one thing that he enjoyed more than his job, it was making people laugh. Unfortunately his job didn't leave much room for laughing and this was something that Wheelie deeply regretted.

At that moment McGee came into Abby's lab with a stack of files. Sitting the files down on the nearest table, McGee turned towards Wheelie eagerly and with the crazed look of a mad scientist got directly in Wheelie's face and asked the million dollar question.

"Okay you're obviously an alien" McGee began excitedly, "I mean there's no other explanation for it..."

"Really?" Wheelie thought to himself, "I mean sure there's no obvious explanation. I didn't just tell you that like...one...two...three...four times in the past hour! Go ahead Timmy, tell us what you're grand discovery is!"

"So I have to ask" McGee continued, "Where did you come from?"

Wheelie groaned and slapped himself repeatedly; he turned to Ziva, "You guys explain it to him. Remember confidentiality...I'm trusting you Agent David."

Ziva nodded in full understanding as Wheelie jumped off the table, reverted back into his truck and left the room. Ziva then led McGee over to the table and gave him his answer.

Wheelie rolled around past the autopsy room and back into the elevator, his destination was McGee's desk. He wanted to keep things low key and figured that at the very least he could stay there until closing time, after which the real work would begin.

As soon as Wheelie entered the elevator he stopped it directly between the ground and first floors, by extending his legs to their full extent and jamming his finger on the elevator close button, almost breaking it. Wheelie then pulled out his communicator and called up Starscream.

"Wheelie" Starscream bellowed almost causing Wheelie to lose his balance, "Have you located the All Spark yet?"

Wheelie shook his head, "No sir" he replied, "I'm hacking into their databases remember? Just like you told to do? Get the databases, leak their intelligence, destroy their government. That's the plan right?"

Starscream huffed remembering his own orders, "Well...make sure that it gets done you isolate waste of breath!"

Wheelie only nodded in submission and like a loyal dog said yes to every insult that Starscream gave him.

When Starscream was finished, Wheelie hung up. He then called Optimus Prime.

"Wheelie" Optimus began, "What the hell do you want?"

Wheelie ignored this as he heard a loud explosion and so could only assume that Optimus was in the middle of something

"Just reporting in sir" Wheelie said as he nervously looked around, hoping that the doors would hold.

"Good" Optimus answered, "When you've figured out what Starscream's doing get yourself to the airfield. Remember, we need as much intelligence as we can get."

Wheelie nodded and like a loyal dog said yes to everything that Optimus said, after this Wheelie hung up.

Wheelie then let go of the button and quickly transformed and rolled himself out into the main room back to McGee's desk. As soon as he got there, Wheelie fell asleep, silently crying to himself. To everyone who could hear, this was nothing more than the occasional beep.