TWO
Upon arrival, everyone scattered to their rooms for a shower and change into a fresh costume, standard procedure after a mission. After an objection by Raven, Terra was finally allowed the dignity to go to her old bedroom alone to clean up. Beast Boy was the first to arrive in the main common room, and waited as everyone else trickled in.
Terra was the last to enter the room. She had also changed, out of the suit Slade had given her and into her old Titans costume, with the long-sleeve black top with a 'T' on the chest. It could stand for Terra or Titan interchangeably.
As soon as she saw Terra, Raven jumped to her feet. "Oh, no you don't!" she said angrily. "You do not get to wear your Titans outfit. You are not a Titan."
"Come on, Raven," Beast Boy said, "give her a break. It's just clothes. It's what she used to wear all the time."
"Used to, Beast Boy," Raven said coldly. "Used to. Back when she was a Titan. She's not anymore."
"It's OK, B.B.," Terra said meekly. "I'll change. I've got some civilian clothes in my old room. I'll go change."
"Good," was all Raven said.
As Terra left the room, Beast Boy headed toward her. "I'll walk with you."
"No, that's OK, I'm just gonna …" Terra started. "Actually, that would be nice."
As they left the common room, Robin called out, "Hurry back."
>
They walked in silence for a bit, then Terra looked at Beast Boy hesitantly. "So, what are you guys going to do with me?" she asked quietly.
"I have no idea," he replied simply, then turned to her. "But we'll figure something out. It'll be OK."
They took each other by the hand and walked on for a bit. When Beast Boy spoke, he was quiet and serious. "Raven's right, you know, you're not a Titan. Not anymore."
Terra just nodded. "Maybe …" she started after a moment, "maybe I could be again … someday."
Beast Boy squeezed her hand and fought back a tear. "I honestly don't see how. I think the best we can hope for is to ship you off somewhere where you can start a new life, be happy. Get away from everything that's happened to you. Give you time to heal."
"Oh, God, B.B. Where?" she asked nervously.
"I don't know," he said simply, as they reached her old bedroom.
"I'll just be a second," she said as she slipped inside and shut the door. Beast Boy waited for only a minute before she returned. She was still in the same yellow-tan shorts and hiking boots, but had taken off the gloves and utility belt and replaced the black 'T' top with a plain blue sleeveless tee shirt. "You think this'll be good enough for Raven?" she asked.
"She'll cope. You're civilian enough."
They walked most of the way back in silence. Terra asked again what they might do with her, and Beast Boy again replied simply that he didn't know. When they entered the common room, everyone turned to look, but Raven in particular glared at Terra. Beast Boy pointed at Terra, but spoke to Raven.
"Better?" he snapped.
"Better," she replied as she turned away.
Beast Boy addressed the group as a whole. "So what'd we miss?" he asked with mock cheerfulness.
"Not much," Cyborg replied. "No one knows what to say."
Starfire looked to Beast Boy, pain apparent in her eyes. "All this anger and hurtfulness makes me sad," she said. "I do not like it."
"None of us like it, Starfire," Robin said, "but it needs to be done. We need to talk about this. We need to figure this out."
"What's there to figure out?" Raven asked. "She's evil, we're not. Therefore …"
"Stop saying that!" Beast Boy shouted angrily. "She's not evil. She's scared and hurt and confused and misled and manipulated and lied to … she's not evil, OK? Stop saying that."
"Look, man …" Cyborg started, then Robin cut him off.
"I don't think it's right to be discussing this in front of her. Terra, go to your room and wait for us. The rest of you, let's adjourn to conference room one. I'll put on some coffee. And Terra …" he paused and looked her in the eye. "I'll want to talk to you, seriously and honestly, about everything that's happened. But right now I need to talk it over with the Titans, and you're not a Titan."
"Right, right," she said softly, and gestured to the door. "Leaving." As she reached the doorway she stopped and turned back. "Robin?" she said hesitantly.
"Yes?"
"Would it be OK if I … went to the kitchen for a sandwich? I haven't eaten all day."
Robin gave a small smile. "That's fine, Terra. Then wait for us in your room."
"She can eat in her room," Raven said, addressing Robin, "because she's not eating with us."
"Raven, we get it, OK?" Beast Boy said. "You don't like her. We get the point. Shut up about it."
As the door closed behind Terra, Raven turned angrily to Beast Boy. "I'm not going to shut up about it, because we are all here to talk about it. I am going to be heard. It seems pretty simple to me. She tried to kill us. All of us. She tried to kill you, Beast Boy, or don't you remember?"
"She was confused. Slade had her convinced it was the right thing to do," Beast Boy replied.
"I know you're going to blame all of this entirely on Slade," she said, "but it just isn't true. She's to blame as much as he is."
"But he had her … brainwashed, basically."
"No, B.B., he didn't. He gave her an opportunity, and she chose to take it. Her choice, her fault, her blame."
Beast Boy was silent for several seconds, and when he spoke, it was no longer in anger. "She did choose it," he said softly. "She's guilty of being weak. She was tempted by evil and she fell for the temptation."
"What's so tempting about being evil with Slade?"
"OK, two things, Raven. One, let's not forget that you've got a little of your father in you. You of all people should know what it's like to fight giving in to anger and fear."
"I control my anger," Raven growled. "I meditate, I-"
"And she's weak, OK? She doesn't have your self control. She never had your training."
Raven thought about this for a moment, but didn't reply. "And two?" she asked finally.
"Two. Terra's worst, darkest fear is losing control of her power. When we first found her, she confided in me her big, terrible secret. Made me swear never to tell you."
Robin said simply, "She caused some damage in the past. Pretty bad."
Beast Boy nodded. "Earthquakes, landslides, avalanches, followed her everywhere she went. That's why she was a homeless drifter when she met us. If she stayed in one place too long, she'd cause another disaster."
"So what's your point?" Raven asked.
"The one thing in life she wanted more than anything was control of her power, and that's what Slade offered. That's how he tempted her." He let Raven consider this for a moment, then continued. "He offered her control if she would give in to him, give him complete control. And you've got to give it to Slade on this one, he did one hell of a job teaching her control. She's capable of things she wouldn't have dreamed of before he got a hold of her."
"She may have been motivated by fear and a need for control, but the fact remains, she chose to join him. She chose to betray us."
Beast Boy stopped and stared at the ceiling for a second, sad frustration on his face. "Ray ..." he started gently, "I don't think either of us will ever comprehend the kind of psychological torture he put her through. She was with him for a long time, you know. Plenty of time for him to warp her already fragile mind. He completely changed her view of herself, her view of her place in the world, her view of her former friends. He had her honestly convinced that we were the badguys."
Cyborg had been sitting to one side, silently watching the conversation. "She lived with us, B.B.," he said. "She worked with us. After all that. After her time with Slade, she pretended to be our friend."
"I know, Cy. I …" he started. "Look, the girl's got psychological problems, OK? I think she might have some mild kind of split personality, like two different personas. There's the one Slade created for her, and there's the real Terra, buried underneath. With us she was able to relax and be her old self, and just … just not think about Slade."
"OK, B.B., look," Raven said more calmly, "even assuming you're right about any of this, what are we supposed to do about it? What are we supposed to do with her? You can't seriously expect any of us to ever trust her again."
"I don't know, Ray, that's why I'm asking for your help. All of you. Think of something we can do, some way to help her. Please."
They all sat in silence for a moment, then Beast Boy looked to Robin. "You know what she said to me in the cave? We talked about this for a while. She said she once told you she didn't need saving, and that she sees now that she was wrong." He paused and looked Robin in the eye seriously for a moment. "We have to save her, Rob. You know we have to save her. We're the goodguys, it's what we do."
"That sounds good in theory, B.B., but how?" Raven asked. "How do we save her?"
"I don't know, Ray. You're the brainy one, think of something."
Raven looked away and didn't reply. After a moment, Robin spoke, addressing no one in particular. "I understand the hold a master can have over his apprentice. I had a powerful master once, too."
Beast Boy gave a weak grin. "You think the Bat would be interested in taking on a slightly damaged, used apprentice?"
"No. Maybe we could find someone who is."
"Like who?" Cyborg asked.
"I don't know," Robin replied. "But I do think what she needs is a good master to re-teach her. Re-teach her to be a hero."
"What the girl needs is a military academy," Cyborg threw out. "You know, teach discipline, respect, all that good stuff."
"That's not a bad thought, Cyborg," Robin replied. "Not the military, though. Maybe the Justice League has some kind of training center we could enroll her in."
Beast Boy snapped his fingers. "Of course! The Green Lantern Corps."
"Be serious, Beast Boy," Robin snapped. "They only accept those who are truly fearless, and that's not Terra."
"I didn't mean she should join the Corps, Robin. I meant they might know somebody."
"They might," Starfire put in, speaking for the first time. "Their reach across the galaxy is vast. They might know of … something, somewhere."
"So is that what we're going to do?" Raven asked. "Ship her off to someone else to deal with her problems? Because if so, she doesn't need a military academy, she needs a mental hospital."
Beast Boy turned to her. "Thank you, Raven," he said sincerely. "That's a big step up from prison."
"Oh, I haven't ruled out prison," she replied.
"But I need to," Robin said. "Beast Boy may be right, there may still be a hero in there. I need to talk to her, decide for myself if she's salvageable. The rest of you, get some sleep. It's getting late. We'll talk about it in the morning."
Everyone stood up except Raven, who looked to Robin. "So, are we just going to trust her not to leave in the middle of the night?"
"Raven, come on …" Beast Boy started.
"Where do you think she could go?" Robin asked her.
"We're probably sending her to prison. I think she'd go anywhere other than here."
"I told her I'd take care of her, Raven," Beast Boy said seriously. "I promised her. She's going to stay with me, and I'm going to make sure we do what's best for her, whatever that is. She won't run away because she trusts me."
"But-" Raven started.
"No, he's right," Robin said. "That's good enough for me. In any case, she won't get far with that collar on. Beast Boy … just go to bed. I'll be up with her for a while, and you can see her in the morning."
"Good enough," Beast Boy grumbled as he headed off toward his room.
>
Beast Boy collapsed onto his bed and knew there was no way he was sleeping. He thought about going to see Raven. She was a good friend, and it hurt to be fighting like this. Then he thought, they'd just end up shouting at each other without Robin there to break them up. It could get ugly.
He lay in bed for over an hour, then felt he had to check on Terra. He crept silently to her door, but when he knocked he heard Robin's voice say simply, "Go away, Beast Boy," so he slunk off back to his room. He tried again another hour later, and when he knocked he got no answer. After a minute he knocked again, and Terra cracked open the door.
"Hello, B.B.," Terra whispered.
"Are you OK?" he whispered back. She just nodded. "Can I come in?" he asked. Terra opened the door and stepped back, her eyes to the floor. She was in her pajamas now, just an oversized tee shirt, and the light from the hallway caught the glint of the silver mutant inhibitor collar on her neck.
"Did Robin say how long he's going to make you wear that thing?" he asked gently.
She shook her head. "He said I need to trust you guys," she said before she finally looked up at him. "I gave control to Slade," she said seriously, looking him in the eye. "Now I'm giving control to you. You and the Titans. My life is in your hands."
"We'll think of something good. I know we will, Terra. Trust me."
She just nodded.
"So … do you mind if I ask what Robin …?" Beast Boy started.
Terra groaned. "I don't want to talk anymore tonight, B.B. I just need to sleep. And if you could just hold me right now, that would be …"
Without a word, Beast Boy slipped inside and shut the door. They got comfortable on the bed, and Terra curled up in his arms and fell quickly to sleep. Beast Boy stayed up for a while, worrying. Finally, he forced it out of his mind, focusing only on being here with Terra, and fell asleep himself.