DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. I do, however, own Quafflepuff.
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"...Ronald! Seriously, put the sock puppets up!" Hermione scolded Ron after he made the tallest one kill the shortest one.
"Suzie!" A black haired puppet ran and started hugging the dead puppet. "MWAHAHA! I am the ruler of all the Double Ms!" The black haired puppet started throwing what appeared to be cupcakes at the laughing puppet.
"...Ron? Ron? Are you okay! Harry, he's making puppets die and laugh and live! There's something wrong with him!" Hermione yelled frantically. "I can go get that book I was reading! Or, we can go see Professor Sprout!"
"Hermione, chill. He's always been like this. Now Ron," Harry put his hands on Ron's as if Ron were a child, "Go put those sock puppets up. You know how nice old Minerva doesn't like Sock Puppets..." Harry turned Ron in the direction of the dorms.
"Alright...... but I get a cookie!"
Now that they were sock puppet-less (or were they…?) they started off again. "I wonder why she wants Luna." Hermione pondered to herself.
Ron quickly responded, "Because Luna's the awesome goddess of the Man on the Topaz-Encrusted Cheese factories, so she can take over Wisconsin, and Minerva has to stop her!"
Harry and Hermione were silent the whole way, thinking about the poor Wisconsins. They finally arrived in Minerva's office where they saw a - no! It can't be! It's a-a-a GRAMMAR QUEEN WITH AN EASEL!
At the sight of their Professor with a grammar book in one hand and a easel stick in the other, Ron started laughing uncontrollably. Confused, and mildly disturbed, Harry and Hermione stared at the red-haired freak while Luna calmly explained, "He's probably just tickled at the fact that Minnie is wearing the latest fashion in Turkey."
Ron waved off that explanation with one hand while the other one held his stomach while he continued laughing.
Luna tried again. "He just got poked by a Begledyshien?" She got waved off again.
"He just remembered a really funny joke Hermione told?" Wave.
"His stomach was infected with a domilian worm?" Wave.
"HE'S JUST GOING INSANE?" Luna finally yelled. Everyone looked at her, shocked that she finally raised her voice over that dreamy whisper.
"Er- I mean- He saw Dumbledore and Minnie playing Strip Go Fish outside the Herbology classrooms and they made him swear not to ever tell anyone about it unless Minnie was caught with an easel stick in one hand and a grammar book in the other?"
Ron look astounded. "How on earth did you know? Did you see them too?"
Luna smiled and said matter-of-factly, "Of course not. I'm just really good at guessing. Plus, it's written all over your face."
While Ron searched his face for the truth, Minerva cleared her throat sternly. "As I was going to say before that….alarmingly unnecessary shockingly truthful truth that none of you can ever repeat…ever….we need to restore order here in Hogwarts, and the only way to do that is to—"
"—create a new house that will be founded by me, Ronald Weasley. I shall call it….Ronaldpuff. No…Weasleyclaw….I know! Quafflepuff!" The new founder posed dramatically.
"Of course not, you idiot!" McGonagall glared at Ron. "As I was saying…"
"Actually, Professor, you told me that if I ever saw you with an easel stick in one hand and a grammar book in the other and Lord Whosy-Whats-Its had been defeated, then I could found my own house and call it whatever I wanted." The red-head smiled. "SEE? I wrote it down in my diary!"
Sure enough, it was dated down. "October 24, 1992. Hermione spoke to me today. Tehe! I also didn't fail my Potions test! Tehehe! Last but not least, I saw Snape and McGonagall playing STRIP TWISTER in the dungeons. She said that if I promised to never tell anyone unless I saw her with an easel stick in one hand, a grammar book in another, and Lord Whosy-Whats-Its had been defeated, then I could found my own house and call it whatever I wanted. Tehehehehe! Well I'm going to go to bed now. Night-night! LOVE, Roonild"
"Oh…." McGonagall cleared her throat awkwardly while everyone stared at her. "Well…I guess that's true then…."
Flashback over
"Damn those poker nights."
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Kat: Spell check said that about half of these words weren't real. Dx