A/N: Never thought of myself as the type to include a fourth-wall break, but there's one in there. I hope it doesn't ruin your concentration. By the way, the reference I included in Chapter 1, was Carols car. It's the same car Regina George drives in Mean Girls. I think that fits Carol nicely.
It's a bright, Sunday, in Royal Woods, Michigan, especially in the very quiet Pingrey household. The clock had just struck noon.
Carol sits at the desk in her bedroom, staring blankly out the window before her, only adding to the already eerie silence. She was home alone, as her parents took her brat of a brother to a grocery store in Beaverton, the next town over. They were unable to go the Royal Woods' main food store, as he was banned for a few years. All she heard from him was it had something to do with the Loud family, which only angered the girl further. Her brother was a total brat, everyone knew it. She honestly didn't even like him, but she needed to look out for him. And the Louds fucked with him.
*bzz*
A low buzz lightly shook her oak desk, as her phone lit up with a notification. Her blank stare broke, and moved to the screen. She picked it up and opened it to see a selfie of her friends Bianca and Sooyoung. A light smile formed across her lips.
"Perfect," she declared.
She quickly opened up her contacts and dialed Lori's number. She cleared her throat, preparing to put on her regular "basic bitch" voice.
"Hey Lori."
...
"Did you see their selfie?"
...
"Who do they think they are, right?"
...
"Like heck they can! I'll be over in 10 minutes."
Carol slammed her phone down, and put her other hand over her mouth, hiding a large grin. This was the perfect opportunity to get in on the Loud family's good side, or at least find some things out about them.
She grabbed her phone, and ran out of her house to her car.
10 minutes later.
*knock knock*
Carol stood in front of the old, red door, waiting for an answer. She was trying to decipher the many booming noises she heard from behind it. There were so many, and it was so loud.
The door flew open, and Lori stood holding her phone.
"Oh! It's literally great you came so fast, Carol. This is urgent."
Carol faked a determined smile, "Oh, tell me about it."
Lori lead her "friend" into the living room, and they sat on the couch. They discussed the dire situation, and decided it best to one up Bianca and Sooyoung. They strategized plans for the best bff selfie, and came to the conclusion that the best option was a "Girls night in, selfie." So, Carol was inevitably invited to stay for dinner, as she and Lori would take their picture after after they eat.
Until then, as much as she really didn't want to, Carol decided to subject herself to all the usual ruckus that the many Loud siblings caused, to really get to know them all. She talked fashion with the idiot, Leni, she played violin with the dyke, Luna, she took a pie in the face from Luan, 'this bitch is pushing it,' Carol thought, she helped the testosterone-ridden, Lynn improve her golf swing, she listened to the freak, Lucy's poems, she played princess with the brat, Lola, 'I kind of like this one,' Carol thought, she watched the gross, Lana feed her reptiles, and she listened to a lecture from the nerd, Lisa, about reflexes, and the 4 year old even pinched her at one point. Carol was losing her patience, and almost let her temper get the better of her a few times but was able to reassure herself with the dire importance of this mission. 'Fuck Lori and this whole cretin-infested house.'
Eventually, dinner was served.
"Hope you like Salisbury Steak, Carol," Lynn Sr. said cheerfully, confident his meat would satisfy the young woman. [I just fucking had to].
"Oh, Mr. Loud, I love it." She was serious. She loves steak.
"Terrific! Say, we haven't had you over for dinner since you and Lori were kids. What's with the surprise visit?" Rita, the mother of the household, asks.
Lori buts in before Carol could respond, "Oh, mom, dad, I literally thought I told you already. Carol and I hated each other for the longest time, but we made up the other day and now we're friends again."
"Thats great! Err- not the part about you two hating each other, but it's great you two made up!" Lynn Sr. says, proud of his daughters maturity.
Carol eats and focuses deeply on the many conversations between the children, as her hatred grows deeper and deeper.
*Bang*
The front door flies open, then slams shut, as a pair of footsteps are heard sprinting into the dining room.
"Hey! Sorry guys, Clyde and I got carried away with the new level of Muscle Fish. Did you get my text, mom?" The boy says, completely out of breath.
Rita sets her utensils down, and gives a stern look to her white haired son, "Yes, Lincoln, I got your text, but you know you broke the rules. You have to be home before the street lights go on. You're grounded tomorrow night."
Lincoln slouches his shoulders, and walks towards the kitchen. "Yes, mom. Sorry."
Carol watches the boy with mixed feelings, as he moseys into the kitchen and sits at the kiddie table. 'Poor kid, I almost feel bad for him. He's actually the only decent one of the bunch, and he was even smart enough to know I would jump at the opportunity to make Lori upset with that family picture. He was so charming too... Wait a second.. What was it Lori told me about him today?' Carol wonders, trying to remember. She remembers how Lori was unsure if she wanted to admit it, so it must have been-
"Hey Link, you're gunna help me practice for my soccer game on Friday, right?" Lynn asked him, from the dining room.
"Yeah, dude, you said you'd help me with my new song too," Luna said.
"Umm, excuse me, but Lincoln said he was gunna help me with my dance routine for my next pageant!" Lola yelled at her two older sisters.
A huge argument started between all the girls, except Lily, and Lisa who was feeding the youngest girl. Carol just watched as they all bickered loudly to each other. 'They really live up to their name, huh? Fucking idiots.'
"Girls! Girls, after tomorrow night, I can help all of you the whole week with whatever you need. You don't have to fight over me. You know I'm going to help all of you anyway," the boy said matter of factly.
"Okay, thanks Lincoln," all the sisters happily said back to him in one phrasing or another.
Carols eyes go wide upon remembering, 'That's right! Lori said her brother was the... only thing holding this house together! Heh, well, that settles it then. He's my-"
Carol's thought was interrupted yet again, by the loud voice of the family matriarch, "Okay kids, your mother and I have an announcement to make." All of his children and Carol, who thinks this is really awkward, just sit there, waiting to hear what Lynn Sr. has to say. "Your Aunt Shirley is getting her gallbladder removed this week, so we're all going to drive down there and spend time with her this upcoming weekend."
A chorus of groans echoed throughout the dining room. Carol just listens.
"Kids! Your father and I know it's a long drive, and you might be bored on the way, but family is family, and she could use our support," Rita said in support of her husband.
"Wait! Did you say this weekend? As in this upcoming weekend?!" Lincoln asked worriedly.
"Yes, son, we'll leave Saturday morning and get back Sunday night."
"But Dad! It's Ronnie Anne's birthday Saturday! She's been planning her party for weeks now. I can't miss it! We're playing laser tag!" He pleads.
"Ohh, I'm sorry sweetie, but you can't stay here. Your Aunt Ruth, is coming with us, and your grandfather is still on his cruise with Myrtle, so you can't stay with them. You also said earlier this week Clyde and his dads are going out of town to visit Harold's mother. Plus, we can't just leave you here all alone. You're still too young."
Lincoln slumps in his kiddie chair, disappointed that he's going to have to miss his not-girlfriends birthday party, as Carol nearly chokes on the meat in her mouth. [I'm really sorry]. She gets an idea.
"Mr. and Mrs. Loud, you know, I can stay and watch Lincoln, if you want?" She saw the opportunity and seized it.
"Oh, Carol, we couldn't ask you to do that," Rita appreciates the offer, but declines.
"No, really Mrs. Loud, it's no bother at all. I didn't have any plans this weekend anyway, and I can drive him to the birthday party, wherever it is."
Lynn Sr. and Rita exchange looks, then Lynn Sr. asks, "What would you charge?"
"How about you just pay for both the gas and the food, and give me the WiFi password and we'll call it even," she responds.
"Done!" Lynn Sr. declares without hesitation, pointing at her. Rita grabs the bridge of her nose in defeat, knowing her husband would fuck a goat to save a dollar. She lightly smacks her husband on the arm, and he looks at her in confusion. She was angry he didn't even appreciate the girls manners.
Dinner continues as usual.
"You know you didn't have to do that, Carol," Lori says from across the table.
"It's really the least I could do. I'm just happy we're friends and that I'm welcome in this beautiful house of yours, again. I'm so happy," she lies through her teeth.
Lori smiles contently, loving the thought of having her first best friend back in her life, just like the good old days. She goes back to eating.
Carol peers into the kitchen, directly at the white haired eleven year old. He was already looking at her, a little nervous. He sweats a little and tugs on his collar. 'Is it getting hot in here?' he thinks to himself. Carol smirks at him, and he points his head down at his food immediately.
'This is going to be easier than I thought,' she thinks, as she holds in her chuckles.
Dinner eventually ends, Lori and Carol take their selfie, that she had honestly forgotten about until Lori reminded her, and they posted it. Even late at night, the two popular girls blew Bianca and Sooyoung out of the water, getting twice as many likes as them. Lori was ecstatic, but Carol couldn't care less. She was heart-set on her new prey.
"...Carol? Carol, did you hear me?" Lori asked.
"Huh? Oh, sorry Lore, I kinda spaced out there for a sec," 'Gross, this bitch has lettuce in her teeth. I'll let her figure that out for herself,' she thinks.
Lori checks the time on her phone, "I was just saying how Bobby doesn't- Oh, wow! It's 10:00 o'clock already? Time sure does fly when you're having fun."
"Oh yeah, so much fun," Carol responds sarcastically. She gets up, "I should probably take off, then." The two walk to the front door.
"Yeah, *sigh* we do have school tomorrow," Lori says. As Carol walks down the porch steps, Lori says, "See ya later, bff!"
Carol waves back to her with a fake smile, hops in her car, and drives off.
"Wow, Lori sure is trying really hard to get under my skin. She's playing the long con, and it's almost too obvious... Well, Lori, your family is about to get what's coming to them," she says to herself, as her hair flows in the cold wind. "Hahahaha."
A/N: Okay, there are two fourth-wall breaks. I'm sorry.