Folding my laced fingers, stretching them to the back of my head I recieved satisfying sound of a horrible night of sleeping. It was the ass crack of dawn and these hours were ruthless, but I deemed in that very moment, during that one stretch: I'm ready to stare death in the eyes. Who'd knew death would have the prettiest sapphire irises? My snarled like yawn made my canines crash deep into my bottom lip sending a good wakeup that reminded me of the sad fact I was indeed a black cat who wore tight latex. 16 and at the peak of my apex.
"I think you're early, little lady. I don't see any akuma yet. They're probably sleeping." The foggy dawn began to tear with a rising sun, and it didn't take a scientist to know the only other shadow that didn't have cat ears would be the only other person willing to be awake this early on a weekend, oh and that she'd be the only one willing to climb a 70ft drop. "Hey you're really putting a damper on my morning. Did you miss breakfast?"
Her defeating sigh made the corners of my mouth perk up. Taking a grateful bite of my breakfast bar of chocolate rice crispies I managed to grab on my way out the window, I tempted my stalker more. It was an easy way to pass the time, better than purposely leading an akumatized victim and playing a nice game of tag. Sometimes it was freeze tag but I hadn't encountered a weather sensitive akuma since 8th grade. Just my luck.
"You know what I enjoy doing? Screaming towards the sun at the top of my lungs just to release all of my pent up stress. Especially at 5am. It's become a ritual." I declared heroically, it was the sacrifice I was willing to take to stir the temptress. Almost feeling her silent hopelessness I could hear her tense for the awakening of a lifetime, I bit my bent pointer finger to keep myself from laughing. Not really wanting to wake myself, her, or the akuma up quite yet, I tried a different approach. "You're here to, what, correlate my schedule? Find my dark secrets? Here, I'll give you some words of wisdom I learned from a really hot actor. Make sure you write it down for your leader, alright?"
It was like a scene from some Clint Eastwood movie, the way I propped a leg on the stacked bricks of a closed library's building, chin resting on my closed fist as I peered out to the ever expanding world and rising today. "Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were going to do anyways." I spoke in even words spoken from deep in my throat. Even my ears couldn't deny the small scoff I heard from the hidden pursuer. I slapped my knee, glad to see my dramatic cliches work for once.
"Ha! Gotcha!" My finger pointed accusingly at the area where her soft sounds flown from. "Just couldn't resist my charm, yeah? It's a curse, my fair maiden… And a destiny." Man really milkin' it. "Oh I'll have you know I researched what you said to me, and call me crazy but did you call me a duck, Lovebug?"
Another snicker that told me I must've missed the message. And it was a big message. "Ignorance is bliss." I reprimanded. "You know it's really hard to carry on a one way conversation. What if you're not even there and I'm talking to a very noisy pigeon? Well not a pigeon since I'd be sneezing but still. You know?"
"Oh you make it look so easy though." A stern voice came from a different direction, telling me she moved as silently as a shadow. It was a sweet sound that resonated stronger than any villain I had come across before. Instantly, I wanted to hear more.
"I make a lot of things easy, I make getting up at 4am willingly on an off-day look easy but the truth is even a godly superhero like me struggles daily."
"Oh?" She commented lamely.
"Yes, I see you're shocked. I, Chat Noir, struggles like you, like any citizen whether it's walking up a flight of stairs while controlling my respiration to make it seem like it wasn't hard, to controlling my anger around stupid people. I'm indeed, no saint."
"Ah." She barely muzed.
"Damn you're one tough crowd, I can just go straight to the puns-."
"Kitty Cat I think it's time."
"Huh? What time is-" I interjected when Plagg alerted me there was an akuma near by. I heard the mystery girl shuffle to her feet, preparing to move her position as the sole audience member of this one. "Wait!"
"You're pretty eager to get out of patrol duty, aren't you." Her voice as monotone as ever.
"You can't fool me, robot lady, I made you laugh like two times."
"Those weren't laughs, they were sighs of annoyance."
"A laugh, a sigh, a groan, same things." My hand waved dismissively.
"Whatever helps your ego." Did my ears actually trace a little lightness to her voice? Was she actually capable of feelings?! Plagg panged me again urgently and soon I was able to hear the akuma down the street, throwing cars and what not. Great. It was a withered old woman who has been kept awake for days by her noisy apartment complex. This was gonna be a doozy.
"My ego doesn't need help, it works alone." I saluted the direction I last heard her voice bounced from, preparing to dash off the building with speed I didn't have. I finally called up, "Well my Lovebug, til next time." Giving a wink I launched myself into danger from a place that'll commemorate our first conversation without my face getting beaten to the pulp. Ahh, youth.
…..
Whose Lovebug? I wanted to yell but I thought having him yell the wrong name was going to lead into a very embarrassing outcome so I stomached it and watched the black cat do wonders on an old bat who put everyone to sleep. He had been entertaining me, which was different since he never acknowledged me before so I wasn't going stir crazy by myself. Poking my head up from my kneeling position, I had a front row seat to watching a boy in leather getting beating to the pulp by a sleep deprived grannie. It was amazing. I could literally wipe a tear from my eyes, thinking man this is sad. It actually happened a few times.
I didn't understand why this guy seemed so valuable to Hawk Moth. I mean half of the butterflies he sent out were lowkey weaker than some of the stronger enemies he could've made. But here I was. Studying his every move. All of them suck-ier than the last.
Basically pitching myself over the edge with a puffed out lip and spoiled eyes. As much fun as watching a boy get beaten bloody by a gal pushing 90 years, these fights got tiring. The whole "discovering the akumatized item, fighting a little, puns, getting in a tough situation that made it seem like the akuma was winning, more puns, and the hero miraculously rising above it in some ridiculous life learning lesson and beating the hell out of the victim" actually made me like rooting for the bad guys, for once. At least they were different each time, I mean this one it was a witchy looking grandma who still had rollers in her hair with a bright purple beauty mask still on. I felt like a child watching this bizarre and colorful fight, I half expected the woman to start throwing rip-off strawberry and caramel pocket candies at the feline. Uhg, and as entertaining and repetitive these fights were, I could actually feel my ears starting to bleed as the puns drifted up the building from below. There's a reason I climb so high, and not to get a bigger view of my target.
From what I've learned, if there were an autobiography of Chat Noir it wouldn't be full of his fights or his inspirational messages he had for his millions of fans, it'd be full of hundred of pages of puns and narcissistic comments, not forgetting the quotes from famous celebrities that he quoted himself quoting. Yes. That is what I've gathered in the few months I've been monitoring him.
By the time he finally strategized enough to figure out that she wore earplugs that the nasty insect tainted by Hawk Moth, he disintegrated them with his… 'Cat'aclysm, he managed to slip out of my sight which wasn't really a big deal but struck me how my one job of watching him was ostracized in a second. Giving up any shred of secrecy, I full blown scanned the mid afternoon horizon looking for a black smudge against the blooming colors below. "Where'd he go…" I muttered after painfully rubbing my eyes to wake the sleepy side of me up.
"Hmm, did you check the east side? There's a lot of alley ways there." A voice whispered to the side of me. I looked east, unconscious that the voice who spoke wasn't a voice that plagued my mind, which was good in a way that I wasn't going insane but bad that I actually took it's advice.
And don't give me that "it's your conscious speaking" crap because my girly ass does not have an adolescent boy's voice in my head. Though sometimes I wish Morgan Freeman could narrate my life. That'd be one hell of a movie. But anyways, the voice totally bypassed me making me even utter a "oh no I didn't, thanks" to the ghost.
Exactly 4.5 seconds passed before I whipped my head along with a fan kick towards the back of me only to be met with a hand that caught my foot inches from his chiseled face that wore a proud face like he had done the impossible. Hawk Moth didn't know we had already met once before and due to the whole dumpster thing I manage to play if off as performing "no matter what, retrieve and purify the butterfly." And that 'no matter what' included dumpster diving into 30 pounds of unsanitized hell. Now I can't really make the excuse that he hadn't seen me face to face, back then it was dark and hectic but with the akuma beaten and the sun shining directly over us as if his epiphany of actually discovering me was rewarded with a pitied showcase. As if the heavens looked down cooing at the golden boy who could've been born from the sun and said "You did it! And all by yourself too! Aww.." Just when I was about to pop god's precious bundle of joy in the face, he threw my leg the other way making it swing in a circle, my arm which I put most of my strength in throwing only accelerated my spin before I was tripped right in his arms.
He dipped me with a coy smile tainting his baby face. "Caught you by surprise?" The smile he made might've made my heart jump at some nostalgic memory (probably a pitiful puppy or something) but the way he raked his eyes down my body as if imprinting a copy of myself into his brains simply made my stomach churn.
Throwing my back down further in the dip I was able to plant both my hands on the roof's surface and kick both my feet over my head, landing in what was equivalent to a backwards somersault that created a comfortable amount of distance between us that I could keep my eyes on him while also being able to take a couple steps for my fist to meet his face. Which was soon as I was itching to move my cramped-from-sitting body and pump my blood in an anticipated fight.
I'm not that violent but I think I wouldn't be able to handle much of his presences before I wanted to bash both our faces in.
"So this is what the mystery girl looks like, feels like I unlocked a level."
"Only took you half a year." I let the comment slide. Hell he already saw me, not much I can do to prevent talking, and let's be honest; I can't really hold my tongue around him either and I'm already screwed.
"Hey, some people actually spend their time outside having a social life than spending time playing video games, gearing up for these moments." This lying nerd. "Anyways, may I ask you something, dollface?"
"You've been talking for me this entire day so go ahead. You must already know my answer." I perked an eyebrow.
"Right. Okay, Lovebug. What's with your outfit? I know I defeated a cupid akuma but hey they looked the part. Now I'm not trying to discriminate but Chat Noir equals a black cat, no? And I'm pretty sure Hawk Moth spends his time buffering his butterfly tie and-"
"You're wasting my time." I snapped.
"Black? With red dots? Don't tell me the lovebug is code for chickenpox or a bedbug."
"Is my outfit really bugging you!?" Well it bugs me too so. I gestured to my black skin tight suit, with dark red scattered dots on the torso that was cut off by a black dip in the halter top neck followed by sharp lines creating gloves that looked like they were dunked in blood along with matching boots that gave me 3in to my 5'1 height, coming up to my mid thigh. "My name is not lovebug, by the way."
"Could you please inform me, as I have been a target in your sexual harassment for months and therefore deserves an explanation." He lifted his chin while covering his body as though he was indecent, including his chest.
"Sexual harassment?" My voice was probably as dull as a hammer.
"Staring at me for hours and days without end usually comes with a price, hun."
"Oh my god. Isn't your miraculous running out?"
"Nope, I filled up before surprising you so it'll give us a while to talk about our feelings."
"Instead of talking why don't we express them? Like me expressing my anger and annoyance by throwing you out a window." I ventured.
"Only if I can express my love by kissing you before my inevitable death." He made himself comfortable by leaning against the tower we shared electrical box. "Hey, let's start over from how things were suppose to go." He extended his hand out towards me, which I simply tilted a head and lifted an eyebrow at.
"They call me Chat Noir. And this is Plagg." He waved what looked like a high tech slap stick infront of my face, indicating his demigod as his equipment.
Demigod.
"Oh yeah, don't you have one?" He inquired.
Shit, I must've stupidly blurted that outloud. "Err, yeah…" I said softly, using it as a distraction from shaking his hand and giving him what he expects. "Ladybug." As if he solved the puzzle on his own, Mr. Sherlock broke into a huge ass grin that made my skin crawl. His face shot up in questionable interest, his mask creating an arc of interest when he pieced my outfit together. But for some odd reason, he squinted, his eyes glancing up as if pondering his thought bubble above.
"Wait, I heard about you.. I think… Weren't you red with black stripes?" He pointed, his other extended handshake dipping down slightly, forgotten.
"Ue-No. You probably getting it mixed up with your Kwami's memories…" I recoiled, wrapping my arms as it was my low budget special safety blanket. "Besides.. I'm new too all of this." I tipped my chin up with dignity I prayed he didn't see through.
Well it wasn't exactly a lie, I am new to this evil stuff.
Grabbing the line of bait I casted in front of his feline nose, he nodded eagerly. "Always nice to meet an enemy." Awkwardly phrasing it, he lifted his greeting hand once again that lightly shook with wavering pride. To help the poor sap out, I met his hand with mine and gave one crushing squeeze of acknowledgement he probably won't forget.
"The pleasure's mine." I knew the smile I projected was indeed devilish as it was bone chilling, as his goosebumps seemed to travel through his costume, into his touch and through my own, giving me a whiplash of what I've become. Hastily detangling our shaking hands, I nodded once to his miraculous. "You too, Plagg." I could almost feel Tikki say.. Or really it was just my imagination of wanting Tikki to somehow resonate inside me. But it was silent. Deadly, sickening, and soul crushingly silent. "Well, this is my cue to leave." A dark butterfly wavered by my extended hand, leaving trails of it's tainted tides behind it as if it was captured on a camera that left the exposure on for too long.
"Until next time, my dear." His cue also panged desperately. As he turned after a quick wink, into what looked like the dazzling sun coming to pick him up, I slowly looked at my hands that had touched the demigod's miraculous. Disgusted for reasons I chose to shut out entirely, I drifted back opposite from the boy with what looked like radioactive eyes and into the shuddering shadows of the forgotten buildings behind. Sketchy and dramatic, but whatever. It's me now.
…..
It'll get more interesting, but this was kind of an excuse to test out some new writing styles, incorporating more humor and sarcasm. But yeah, it's shorter than the ones I've wrote before but I had a blast envisioning this scene and trying my best to put it into words. They properly met now and Marinette is a downer, shockers. But anywho, tell me how you thought about it! Thanks for reading XOXO! More to come.