AN: So I was reading through the last chapter and noticed some mistakes. Sorry about that. It was 3am in the morning and I was in a rush to sleep since I had a final the next day and I wanted to get it out there ASAP since I've been wanting to do a story like that since two Christmases ago. Hopefully this chapter has less typos and mistakes.
Changed this to rating T because I thought it would be more inappropriate, but so far, only thing that looks inappropriate is the cursing, but I don't think that warrants a rating M. Might change back to M if I get too graphic.
Chapter 2: Self-Destruct Buttons for Everybody!
Lan and Mayl had finally stopped crying about Santa being a supposed fake. They had spent a couple hours complaining about how their Christmases up until this point were lies. "What did you ask for during Christmas Lan?"
"Oh… well… you know… stuff… Wha- what did you ask for?"
"Oh. Piano, clothes, and stuff. You know. All that jazz. Oh god…. I can't believe my parents read my wish list."
"Well. Your wish list doesn't seem like a sort of list that you have to hide from your parents. I thought you got your piano for your birthday."
Mayl chuckled nervously, "I got it for Christmas- what are you talking about?"
Lan raised an eyebrow, "Are you okay? You seem nervous."
"Yup! Nothing at all wrong! I'm obviously not lying or anything so why would I be nervous?"
Lan narrowed his eyes, "It almost seems like you asked your parents for something more disgusting. Like someone's underwear or naked pictures of someone."
Mayl laughed hysterically, "Are you kidding me? That sounds like something you would ask for."
Lan blushed. "Hey! Who's the one under interrogation here? Me or you?"
"Well. At least I answered your question and told you what I got for Christmas! What did you ask for?"
Lan gulped, "Well you know… underwear and pictures… and stuff."
"Oh my god! You asked your parents to give you someone's underwear and naked pictures didn't you? And now you're trying to pin it on me!"
"N- no!"
"Whose underwear did you ask for? I never pictured the great Lan Hikari having someone he had a crush on."
Lan blushed madly, "I- I don't have a crush on someone! Love is for losers! Girls have cooties!"
"Uh huh. You stopped believing in cooties since you were four Lan. Tell me about this girl you have a crush on. What's she like? Is she pretty? Do you have a picture of her?"
"I don't know what you're talking about! There's no girl!"
"Oh so it's a guy?"
"HECK NO! You're disgusting!"
"It's okay if you're gay Lan. It's the year 20XX."
"I'm not gay! I like girls!"
"Uh huh. You can't even describe the girl you like."
"Yes I can! She's annoying and nosy, but she's also really nice and fun to be around. Her favorite color is pink."
"A lot of girls like pink Lan. Even I like pink. I haven't seen you hang out with a girl at all, and I've hung out with you quite often."
"Well… you see…" Lan gave a long awkward pause. He stared at Mayl in the eyes and could see her staring back at him, waiting for him to continue. She had on a beautiful smile. Lan gulped and decided it was now or never. "Mayl. The girl I like is y-"
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Lan and Mayl looked at the screen in front of them. "Oh shit! The fuel's running out!"
"Lan look! There's the North Pole up ahead! I think we'll be able to make it!"
Lan sighed, "Alright. That's good. I won't have to let you stay afloat on a door while I suffer in the freezing water like Jack in Titanic."
Mayl sweat-dropped, "Uhm.. Ok. You should lower the plane and get ready to land before we run out of fuel and the plane crashes."
"Wait. I don't know how to land a plane. Do you know how to land a plane?"
"I've never even driven a car! How would I know how to land a plane? You got this plane off the ground! Shouldn't you know how to get it back down?"
"I was just pressing buttons!"
The two of them looked at the dashboard again. They looked at each other then back at the dashboard. The couple started frantically pushing a lot of buttons randomly. "Wait Lan! Don't press that red button!"
Boop. Self destruction activated. This plane will now explode in 5 minutes. Please be ready to fucking die.
"WHY DID YOU PUSH THE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON?"
"How was I supposed to know it was a self-destruct button?"
"IT WAS A RED BUTTON! UNDER A GLASS CASE! WITH THE WORDS SELF DESTRUCT!"
"Oh… WHY WOULD CHAUD HAVE A SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON ON A PLANE?"
The two of them got up and looked around for something to save them. Lan grabbed a parachute and put it on. "Mayl! I got a parachute!"
"Great! Let's find another parachute!"
"Uhm… I think there's only one parachute. There's a note saying 'Remember to refill parachute'."
Mayl gulped, "Oh no. I guess you won't have to keep me afloat on a door to keep me alive, but you'll have to give me a parachute to save me instead."
"Fuck no! Are you crazy woman? Why would I give YOU a parachute?"
"Because you're a hero, and you want to save me!"
"I want to live woman!"
"Because you're nice, and you know a beautiful girl like me needs to live!"
"Does your dad still tell you you're a beautiful princess every night before you go to sleep? Because I have bad news for you missy."
"Because you love me!"
Lan chuckled nervously, "Ah ha ha. Wh- who told you that? You must be going insane."
"Of course I'm going insane! I'm about to die and YOU WON'T GIVE ME THAT PARACHUTE!"
"Ok! How about this? Hug me tightly!"
"Lan! Just because I like cheesy movies doesn't mean I believe the power of love is going to save us in this situation!"
"No! Hug me tightly and we'll both jump out of this plane together!"
"Oh." Mayl blushed and hugged Lan tightly.
"Mayl wrap your legs around me too. I don't want you to lose your grip and die."
Mayl blushed and wrapped her arms and legs around Lan like a teddy bear. She couldn't believe this was happening.
"Ready?"
"R-Ready."
Lan kicked open the door and jumped out of the plane. Moments later, Lan grabbed Mayl's pants and pulled it down. "Eek! Lan! What are you doing?"
"Sorry! I thought that was the parachute."
Lan grabbed the actual cord for the parachute and pulled it, saving the both of them. Moments later, the plane exploded. Cool guys don't look at explosions.
But Lan isn't cool, so he looked at the explosion. Mayl stared at Lan's face being lightened up by the fiery plane. She thought he looked like a handsome hero, even though it was his fault they were in this predicament in the first place.
The two of them floated down, waiting to land.
***Elsewhere***
Chaud was flying another jet and growling. "Can you believe that Lan stole a plane from me?"
"I can't believe this is not butter," Laika said as he spread some butter over some crackers and ate it.
"Hey. Shut up. Let me continue. Of all the stupid thing he's done so far, this is the stupidliest! I can sue his ass and leave him poor in the streets. I might even be able to make him stay naked the rest of his life! Hey! Are you listening? Laika! Listen to me and my problems! ARE YOU LISTENING?"
Laika was not listening. He was eating crackers and thinking, Thank goodness this cracker is paying me to chase an easy target down. There's no way in hell I would help him otherwise.
Chaud looked at his jet's dashboard. "Huh. That's weird. Lan's plane disappeared from my radar. We were about 100 miles away from him. I wonder if he clicked the self-destruct button?"
Laika scoffed, "There's no way Lan's that stupid. I mean. I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to add a self-destruct button in your plane, but even if Lan's more stupid than you, I don't think he's THAT stupid."
"Hey! I'm not stupid! You're stupid!"
"I know I am but what are you?"
"… I'm not stupid!"
"You're the one who put a self-destruct button on all your vehicles and property!"
"But they're all heavily guarded," yelled Chaud as he stood up.
Laika stood up also, "How is this button heavily guarded? All you have to do is lift this glass case and press the button like this."
Boop. You fucking idiot. You pressed the self-destruct button. This plane will self-destruct in 5 minutes.
Chaud and Laika stared at the button then at each other. "Holy shit! What did you do?"
"Don't you have an override switch?"
"No!"
"WHY WOULD YOU NOT HAVE AN OVERRIDE SWITCH TO A SELF-DESTRUCT SWITCH?"
Chaud huffed as he walked to the back of the jet and grabbed a parachute. "Well. It's been real. But I'm too important to die today!"
"Wait! You don't have another parachute?"
"No. I forgot to refill them. Good luck in hell with Dr. Regal!"
***Minutes later, on a plane behind Chaud and Laika***
"Holy shit! Did two people just jump off the plane?"
Yai scoffed, "You're seeing things. Why would anyone jump off a plane?"
Dex yelled, "I know what I saw! And I saw two guys jumping off a plane!"
"Is this like the time you thought you saw Lan having a vagina?"
"Hey. That time I was making stuff up so Mayl would stop being in love with Lan."
"Yea. Well… that backfired when Lan pulled out his mini-Lan. I think Mayl fell more in love with him after that."
"Shut up! That's why we're going to your factory in the North Pole so I can get Mayl the bestest present ever!"
"I don't think-"
Boom!
Yai yelped, "Woah! That plane exploded!"
Dex screamed like a little girl… a girl littler than Yai. "We're under attack!"
"No we're not! That plane probably had a self-destruct button or something."
"Who would put a self-destruct button on a plane? That's stupid!"
"Yea. Well. Someone's obviously dumber than you Dex, and you're dumb enough already."
"No one is dumber than me! So that obviously means that plane was shot down!"
As Yai's plane flew over the North Pole, Yai sighed, "That plane was not shot down. You'd need some heavy artillery to shoot down a plane. Why would there be missiles in the North Pole?"
"Yai! Take evasive maneuvers! We're going to die!"
"ARE YOU IN YOUR OWN FANTASY WORLD? NO ONE IS GOING TO SHOOT US DOWN!"
***At a facility at the North Pole***
"Shoot them down," said a mysterious person hidden in the shadows.
"Yes sir," said another person sitting in darkness.
"That's the third plane on its way today. The last two exploded. That means this one is probably meant to hit us first then explode. We need to shoot it down before it hits us. Why haven't you shot it down yet," he said to a group of people, sitting in the shadows.
"Uhm. Sir. We're sitting in the shadows. Can we turn on the lights?"
"No. It makes us look mysterious and ominous."
"But we can't see the buttons we need to press to shoot them down. We might press the self-destruct button."
"Then pray that you push the right button."
They all gulped and stared into the vast empty darkness before one of the figures pressed a button. A missile was shot into the sky, heading towards Yai's plane. They all sighed.
Boop. Self-destruction activated. This facility will explode in 1 second. Please make sure you get out of this mysterious dark area and into the light.
***Back with Lan and Mayl***
Mayl was hugging Lan at the slope of a hill where the base exploded. "What was that this time? Are we really in the North Pole?"
Lan hugged Mayl back. "I think we are. A second plane exploding, a missile shooting down a third plane, and a secret base exploding are all signs that we're at the North Pole."
Mayl screamed, "Lan! Run!"
Lan turned to the place where the base exploded and saw an avalanche coming from that direction. The two of them screamed and ran. "Mayl! Over there!"
Mayl saw a huge sign with an arrow saying, "Run here in case of avalanche."
"Are we really going to trust that sign?"
"We have no choice!"
Lan and Mayl ran to where the sign was and saw that they were standing at the top of a cave. They jumped down and ran into the cave while the avalanche poured over and past them. The two of them sat there wrapping their arms around each other to keep themselves warm. Mayl was wearing a long-sleeved, turquoise, fleece shirt with a tunic and a dark blue, fluffy jacket with a furry hood and a pair of skin-tight faded jeans. She also had on a red, black striped beanie with a pom. Lan was wearing a white sweatshirt with navy blue and baby blue stripes and a pair of black pants. Lan also had on his traditional bandana.
***Back with Chaud and Laika***
The two of them were floating down, with Laika wrapping his arms and legs around Chaud. "I swear. If you tell anyone about this Chaud, I will snipe you down."
"You think I want to tell anyone about this? I'd rather get tortured and die by a bunch of pirates than let anyone know about this!"
The two of them landed on a pirate ship that was passing by chance. "Arg… well what do we have here? Two star-crossed lovers floating down from the sky."
Chaud and Laika widened their eyes and looked around. Chaud gulped at the sight of pirates. "Who are you guys? What are you guys doing at the North Pole?"
Laika nodded, "Yea. Aren't you guys like 700 years too late to join the pirate age?"
"We're here trying to find One Piece and become the pirate king!"
"Oh. You're in the wrong series then."
"You best mind your tongue laddies! You're on our ship. We can easily kill you if we wanted. Luckily for you, we have some services that you two might need you with."
The other pirates laughed and started to take off their clothes.
Chaud and Laika widened their eyes and screamed, "Kyaaa! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Chapter 2 end.
AN: This was tremendously longer than the first chapter, but I had to get as much of my ideas out ASAP since I want to finish this by New Years. Hope you liked it! Review! And I'd be happy to hear ideas!