Chapter 2:

A/N: Sorry about the notice of chapter 2 being up I couldn't figure out how to get it up. Really sorry but here it is now. School put me in a bad mood today so I decided to try and cheer myself up by typing this chapter. Thank you everyone who read, favorite this, and thank you firgodes7 for reviewing. =) Hope you like this chapter too. It gets sadder starting around here just to warn you.

I woke to the sun shining in my room onto my face. I turn and look at the digital clock with orange numbers. The time reads 6:35AM. Shit! I have five minutes to get to my bus station! Why didn't mom wake me up?

… Wait, that's right, she'll never do that. Not anymore.

Getting dressed and going down stairs I smell the aroma of alcohol and see five bottles of beer on the island in the kitchen. I walk outside and quickly to my bus stop.

My bus pulls up to the stop at 6:40AM and I get on. Like always either all the seats are taken or the ones that aren't has someone sitting in them and they won't let me sit with them. So instead of sitting down I go to the back of the bus and stand as the driver drives to school. This doesn't bother me one bit though because it's not like once we get to school everyone pushes their way by me to get off the bus. Oh wait, they do.

I get off the bus and there stands Dean and Lisa, the super couple. Gag or at least that's how I feel every time I see them. "Hey Dean, um, Lisa."

"Hey Cas." Lisa says.

"Don't call me that." I say flat toned and she gives me an annoyed look.

Dean pipes in. "Cas only lets me call him that." He explains kissing Lisa on the forehead.

All of a sudden I feel like crying. "Um, I have to go to the bathroom before school starts. I'll see you later in class Dean."

Dean looks at me concerned. "Is everything alright?"

I try to put on my best "I'm fine" mask. "Yeah everything is fine; I just need to use the bathroom." And with that I walk away.

No one is in the bathroom as I walked in and into one of the blue stalls. As soon as I sit on the toilet the water works start. I really don't exactly know why I'm crying. Because of Dean, because of my mom, because of Gabe and Dad, school … life in general.

I hear the bathroom door open and I try to quiet my sobs. "Cas, you okay?" I hear Dean ask outside my stall. I start crying again. "What's wrong?" I hear the concern in his voice.

I wipe my face on my sleeve and open the door hoping my eyes aren't puffy and red.

They were. "Cas, why are you crying?"

"I'm not. Something's in my eye." I say.

Dean isn't convinced. "Don't lie to me Cas! You know I know when you're lying!"

"I'm fine Dean! I don't want to talk about it!" The bell rings to go to first block. "I got to get to class."

I start walking away when Dean says, "You tell me everything, why not now?" I just keep walking, ignoring the hurt in his voice.

…

First period is public speaking, my worst subject. I sigh. At least it's Friday. Luckily, I'm pretty unpopular so no one notices my red, puffy eyes.

I look at the clock. It reads 7:35; we've only been in class for ten minutes.

"Castiel, do you think the clock will go faster the longer you stare at it?" The teacher asks.

"No ma'am." I say quietly. I hear laughing. I know they're laughing at my name. It's not my fault that I was named with an uncommon name.

"You know, I never understood how someone's parent could be as cruel as to name their own child a gay name like Castiel." I hear someone say.

"Quiet down you two." The teacher scolds.

At 8:48 the bell rings to go to homeroom which isn't any better than first block when it comes to people liking me. After six minutes of homeroom we're off to second block, algebra 2A, which I have with Dean.

Yay. I think sarcastically.

As soon as I enter the room and sit in my regular seat next to Dean he asks, "Cas, what the hell! What's wrong with you?"

I sigh. "Nothing."

"Bull shit!" He says immediately.

I'm getting annoyed and angry and say a little harsher than intended, "It's none of your business!"

"Fine, be that way." I can hear the hurt in his voice but choose to ignore it, feeling like I'm going to cry again. Then Dean says, "I just hope you can eventually tell me, since I'm your best friend and I care about you."

Not the way I want you too. I think as I feel my eyes start to water with tears. I'm sure Dean noticed the tears but said nothing.

The bell finally rings to go to third block at 10:35. If I thought my second block class was bad because of Dean being in it, what about third block with Dean AND Lisa in my class? What torture!

Dean and I walk to class, 20th century American History, together in silence, to be greeted by Lisa at the classroom door.

All of a sudden I feel like throwing up.

"Maybe you can cheer Cas up." Dean says to Lisa. Like her, of all people, could cheer me up.

She plays dumb. "What do you mean? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I say sitting down at my desk.

"He was crying earlier and he won't tell me what's wrong." Dean tells Lisa.

Anger flashes in me. "Stop it Dean! It's not yours or Lisa's business why the fuck I cried earlier so leave me the hell alone!" I practically yell at him and walk out of the classroom. I know the consequences for skipping class but I don't care.

I walk aimlessly, so angry tears are streaming down my cheeks. "Cas!" I hear behind me but keep walking. "Cas, stop for a moment! Tell me what the hell is wrong with you!" Dean grabs my arm and turns me around. Shock fills his face expression as he sees the tears glistening on my cheeks. He reaches up and wipes the tears away.

I melt. "Don't touch me." I say pathetically.

"Why?" He asks letting go.

"Because." I say.

"Because why?" He asks.

"Just because." I try to walk away.

He grabs my arm to stop me. "Why won't you tell me? Just tell me so I can help because I don't like seeing you sad."

My wall is breaking. "It's because it is you."

"What about me make it so you can't tell me?" Confusion on his face.

Looking down at the floor I say, "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." He plainly says.

I look him straight in the eyes. I don't know what to do. I'm so desperate to get away from this situation. I feel my panic rising and I'm starting to breathe hard. Sweat coating my body. Is this a panic attack?

Then I blurt out without thinking, "I love you, okay!" and turn on my heels, rushing away before Dean could respond, if he wasn't to shocked to respond in the first place.

I feel like I'm dying. My chest hurts; I'm breathing hard, sweating to death, and crying like a fucking baby. I stay in the bathroom for the rest of third block and lunch.

Deciding not to get into anymore trouble, I go to my fourth block class, chemistry, the last block of the day. Finally!

Luckily Dean or Lisa isn't in this class with me. Not so luckily, during the block I got called down to my house office.

"Castiel Novak? Why did you skip third block?" The secretary asks me.

I just shrug. "You get a Saturday detention for tomorrow and a phone call home." I stare at her blankly, not really caring.

… Wait; did she just say a phone call home? Oh God! I'm dead! I think as panic begins to rise again.