Funny what the Heart feels.

Part 2: Kate.

A/N: Still don't own anything, still wish I did...any who, this chapter is all about Kate's POV; I know I said it would be Gibbs but honestly every time I tried to write what the silver haired fox thought it just came out wrong, I mean monster evil dead wrong lol.

Please review and comment, love 'em, sorta give me the urge to continue, LONG LIVE TATE and all Tate goodness...and BOOOO! KIBBS, it's just wrong...which is weird seeing as it's the source of Tonys heart ache in this...I'm weird, anyway, hope you enjoy

It's been two days since tony saw the director and he's been acting off since then, this morning Jen...sorry director Sheppard came down and handed tony a box.

He said it was for organising files, but there's no files on his desk, he thinks he's hiding it from us, from me, and in a way that hurts, it hurts he doesn't trust me enough to tell me what's going on inside that head of his.

My hearts racing all day, I can't stop worrying about him, about that damn box, my breathings increased too, what am I so scared of? Losing a partner, a friend...or just losing tony?

I mean yeah alright he can be a immature sexist pig most the time, but he's also really charming, caring, funny, friendly and a reliable guy...he's a friend, a great friend, of course ill never tell him that.

"Tony?"

I'm beside his desk now, I have no idea how I got here or even why I'm here...well I know why imp here, I won't admit it though.

"Tony?" that twice I've called him now, and he hasn't looked up, he seems focused on getting whatever inside this box perfectly.

"Yeah Katie?"

He's avoiding eye contact, that's never good, his tones strained obviously fake, his body language is defensive, and since when has he become defensive to me? Slight damp on his forehead means he's scared, just like me.

"Tony, are you...going, somewhere?" I don't want to know if the answers yes, oh god please don't say yes.

"why would you think that Kate?" strained voice again, this time though he flashes a strained fake gorgeous grin at me too, and for a split second he makes eye contact, and now I wish he didn't...there's so much pain and betrayal behind his eyes, so many negative emotions that he's kept bottled up and I feel awful because I haven't noticed until now, now when I may be too late to do anything about this, whatever this is that's killing him inside, his beautiful green eyes are cold and numb, god why didn't I notice? I'm an awful friend... partner.

"Because you're packing you're desk up"

I noticed that it was less personal, most of his things that were there this morning are gone, and he hasn't left, so they have to be in the box.

He snorts sarcastically, trying to play it down but I see it, I see the truth, for the first time in the last few weeks I see HIM, TONY, not the mask he's been wearing very well for the past few weeks, looking back I should of known, it's the little things, no sexist jokes when I said something that could of easily been turned into one, no excess bullying of McGee, he's slowly been shutting down, cutting us, cutting ME out of his life.

How could I have missed it?

I see it all, the hurt, the pain, loss, emptiness, there isn't a shadow of the former man that he was, and Tonys gone...he's just a shell, an empty, numb shell.

I'm at his side now, I've placed a hand on his knee and he tenses, since when did I have this effect on him, he used to relax when I touched him.

"Tony?" a softer tone, maybe he'll open up, just a little, I just want him to talk to me, but if I push him, he'll shut down and lock me out.

"What Katie?"

The walls are building, I need to do something, he's closing himself off from me, and this isn't what I wanted.

"can we...go somewhere private and talk?" its a risk, but maybe he'll bite...I need to know, I have to know if I can help with whatever is destroying this once imperfect but perfect man, I don't want to lose him.

Oh god...I can't believe I said that, at least not out loud, but still...me, Catlin Todd, doesn't want to lose Tony DiNozzo.

He sighs, he's going to object, I know him, so I need to strike first.

"Just a few minutes...please" I near enough beg.

He checks his watch and then weakly nods.

"Where?" he asks softly, even his tones turned numb now, he still avoids eye contact...is this about me? Am I the reason for so much pain?

"Abby's office?"

It's as private as you can get around here...well that or an interrogation room, but I don't think the surroundings of that room would do well to loosen his tongue.

We walk together in silence toward the elevator, we stand at opposite ends of the silver cube, he's looking anywhere but at me...but I...I cant take my eyes off him, I want to cry, beg him to open up to me, trust me like I do him, but I won't I'm stronger than that, besides he'd only freak out.

So here we stand, in silence on our way to a small glass office where...I hope, he'll open up to me.

Damn you Antony DiNozzo, damn you for making me feels these things.