"Resolutely train yourself to attain peace." –Utthana Sutta of the Sutta Nipata
She did not remember much of her celebratory dinner beyond that point.
She sort of remembered swallowing tasteless chunks of steamed vegetables and her father sharing a drink that stank of alcohol with his 'old friend'. Thankfully it was early in the evening when Takeko decided her daughter looked ill and took Yuuko upstairs for an early bedtime.
She was in Naruto. Or at least, in Konohagakure. In a world that thrived on violence. A world whose very structure was held together by the fragile bonds on mercenary clans. People who murdered for a living.
The realization of where she was and what was likely to be required of her; pained her far more than being reincarnated ever had. Even in those first few weeks of endless confusion and pain.
It plagued her, a shadowed leach in her mind. And in the night when the silence was pounding against her ears (she had not thought the stillness unnatural before but now everything felt wrong), she heard her own heartbeat in her head and worried.
She thinks of her new brother- of what he was undoubtedly training to become.
Other questions, questions she had avoided looking at before, wormed their way through her skull. The ideas of Buddhist reincarnation are often misunderstood and misrepresented by the general public. People regularly mistake reincarnation to be one consciousness continuing into another body. Like the mind of a man stuck inside a dog. In truth, 'rebirth' may be a better term that more accurately represents the belief. Buddhism taught that there was no fixed consciousness between lives. When one was reborn they were both wholly separate and wholly the same as who they had been before. Like a burning candle or a flowing river- the change was constant and nonexistent. But somehow, she has retained her memories. At least those of her last life. She was unsure of what it meant. She did not however remember if there had been bardo or antarabhāva- an intermediary state between lives- or if she had closed one set of eyes and opened another.
Two days of almost blind panic pass before she regained some mastery of herself.
Ultimately she came to the conclusion that, well, she was here. There was no undoing it. To fight or deny this was foolish. She needed to calm down and think.
This world was not all darkness. Yuuko had always believed that people were inherently good. And there was wonder to be had here too- if all those bad things were true of this world, she should think of the good. People who could cure droughts with a flick of their wrists, people who could heal wounds with the touch of their hands.
And so that night as she lay awake with tired eyes, Yuuko forced a few deep breaths. The summers were so hot that even at night they left all the windows open. She supposed there was no risk of thievery here. ( Or, wait… did magical ninja make theft more or less likely? She couldn't decide.)
Yuuko cast her mind back and tried to recall what she remembered of the plot- that story she had read so very long ago.
She had liked the plot for Naruto himself. She had a clear memories of being starkly disappointed when it was revealed that Naruto was the son of a Hokage. Naruto had been a 'nobody', an underdog rising above everyone's expectations and defying the conventions that village set for him. Except it turned out that he was a 'chosen one' type character. He was special, different- He just hadn't known it. It had felt like the whole heartfelt message had been undercut. But she was getting off track.
She knew that Naruto's golden haired look-alike of a father had been a Hokage at some point (a Hokage. An actual leader- like a President or Prime Minister. Or perhaps more accurately- a dictator. A ruler of a real place she was now living in. How did the government here work? Was it a military dictatorship? Was Konoha a vassal state? What was the judicial system like?) She thought he had possibly been Kakashi's teacher too. And there was something about a bridge she though had been important. It had blown up? Or wait, no, hadn't Naruto ensured it had gotten built? It had been named after him, Yuuko thought. Maybe it was blown up and then rebuilt?
Well, she did know that at the start of the series the only Uchiha in Konoha had been Sasuke. His older brother had massacred the whole clan in a night. (That was a real thing. That was the kind of stuff that happened in that world- this world? All those people…real people. Dead.) But there had been some kind of evil plot going on there hadn't there? Something about an evil cult group that wore red clouds on black cloaks and Itachi trying to save his brother. That sounded vaguely right. And the evil organization had been run by a leader who was using someone elses body but that man had turned out to be a decoy for another man who was a man pretending to be someone else pretending to be someone else but they too had ended up also being a decoy. And Sakura had learned to punch down trees somewhere along the way. It was all rather convoluted and fuzzy.
But really what did any of that matter? This was not a show or book. This was a world she now lived in. What could someone like her do in the face of people who were basically walking atomic bombs. What did she want to do?
Because to say the thought of training to become a child soldier and murder people in the name of something as ambiguous and fleeting as "the village" would be an understatement. Even putting aside the dangers it would place her in or the morality of using children for such things, Yuuko abhorred violence. Truly. The most violent thing she had ever done in her past life was when she had been in elementary school. She'd hit a boy in the eye with her shoe for teasing her incessantly on the bus. She'd felt awful after and had cried right along side that boy in the principles office. The idea of having to commit true violence (to KILL people) was not one she could stomach. And one could debate until blue in the face about 'but if it was you or a stranger' or 'someone you loved or a stranger' but Yuuko figured that you probably never really know until you are in that situation. Yuuko never intended to find out what she would do. She won't put herself in that position. A soldier she most certainly was not, and killing went against every fiber of her being.
So the question became- what was she going to do about that fact that everyone around her seemed perfectly content to assume this was the path her life would take?
The answer was: that she didn't know yet. She needed time to think.
So she tried to put it aside. Focus on the fact that this was a new life- a new start. But still...in the deep parts of her mind that rose of quite nights...it lingered.
Private lessons with a tutor began not long after her birthday celebration. Her new teacher was tall for her young age with long braided hair down her back. She was a Hagoromo, of course, and introduced herself in a brisk voice as 'Ayaha Sensei'. In another world Ayaha would barely be considered a woman; here she was already a war veteran. She'd been a close combat kunoichi until an ambush and poison gas had left her with a dead team and untreatable Chakra path damage. Unsurprisingly, she had an edge to her personality that spoke to her time on the frontlines and was exceedingly intelligent. On their very first meeting Ayaha told her seriously that she would be learning in a style known as 'full learning philosophy', not that Yuuko knew what that was. "Put your shoes on. We will start by getting you familiar with our village."
Dutifully, Yuuko put on her cloth boots and allowed Ayaha to take her hand. Her teacher led her through the streets until they arrive at the closed gates of the Hagoromo compound. Ignoring the chuunin guards stationed there, Ayaha turned Yuuko's body to look back the way they had come. "This is where you start." Ayaha told her, "The Hagoromo. I will be teaching you more about who we are- who you are-our culture and history, in later lessons. Remember for now that the Hagoromo are your family. You are always safest inside these walls." 'What a reassuring statement.' Yuuko thought wryly but nodded her understanding anyway.
Hand clasped by her teachers once more, Yuuko exited the compound for the first time in her new life.
It was both bigger and smaller then she had imagined. All so familiar and so new.
There were so many people (was that blue hair? How did genetics here work?), such diverse styles of architecture, the trees were larger than any real tree she had ever seen, and facing them – looming high above the buildings, was the renown Hokage Mountain. The stone faces of past Hokage gazed out with ever vigilant eyes. It was probably supposed to be reassuring to Konoha inhabitants but Yuuko found them to be slightly foreboding- like a warning that she was always being watched.
Griping her hand firmly Ayaha began to pull her along. Down the hard dirt roads they pass dozens of shops and restaurants bustling with life; the air was filled with vendors calling to passing potential customers and new foreign smells of spices yet untried. They pass the walls of other clan compounds; some decorative and beautiful others blank and intimidating. Taking it all in Yuuko truly came to appreciate just how much she didn't know about this world and the spirit of curiosity began to take wind in her heart.
Yuuko took the opportunity to wave at all the people she happened passed. Trotting along behind Ayaha through the market she made funny faces at a baby sitting on a distracted woman's hip. Entering a clothing shop, she dutifully held the door open for a woman who was weighed down with bags, the woman's husband right behind her gloating about the shoes he had found. She was truly 'outside' for the first time in her new life and Ayaha's disapproving looks couldn't dampen her grin.
As they walk Ayaha gave brief lectures of things she would later give fuller lessons on.
( "When you are finally given permission to go out alone and if you ever happen to get lost, remember you can orient yourself by the mountain. The front gates are a straight shot away from the mountain and the Hagoromo compound is only a few blocks to the right of the front gates."
"The Aburame clan is bigger than most give them credit for. They are one of the Four Noble clans after all. Aburame are known for living in symbiosis and sharing their bodies with insects. They are infiltration experts." "Four Noble Clans?" Ayaha breaks off her speech at the interruption to look meaningfully down at her. "Yes. The Four Noble Clans are the Uchiha, the Hyūga, the Aburame, and the Akimichi. The Uchiha and Hyūga are most often thought of as the political powerhouses of the clans. While it is true in some respects, smart people do not forget that the Akimichi have cultivated close personal ties with both the Nara and the Yamanaka. It is the Aburame who are most forgotten. They should not be underestimated. Come, we are almost to the Center Tower." 'Underestimated'? That made it sound like they we're an enemy. Didn't all the clans work together to protect the village? Weren't they all allies?
"Konohagakure is of course the Hidden Village of Fire Country. We are led by our Hokage and the Hokage in turn is subservient only to the Fire Daimyō. Thankfully this current Daimyō does not typically involve himself with our internal affairs. Ultimately, the Fire Daimyō manages the civilians outside of Konoha, some political alliances, and agriculture. In return we protect the Will of Fire and allow him to stay the Daimyō. Ah, here. This is Hokage Tower and it the central core of all shinobi life. I am certain you will grow quite familiar with it in later years. The Hokage and the Head Council operate mostly on the upper floors. Mostly, but not always. Clan Council meetings take place here as well." )
They spent almost a week touring the village, examining almost every road, while Ayaha gave running lectures and anecdotes. After that lessons move back inside the compound and Ayaha gave more in-depth analysis of things she had only mentioned in brief.
Yuuko is a hard working student and she devoured what knowldge she could get. Ayaha focused her teachings on history. Well, history, nationalism, and no small dose of politics. While Yuuko wasn't a clan heir, her family was fairly wealthy so it was no surprise she was being trained in such things.
The Hagoromo, she learns, was a small clan. The smallest in Konoha by a very large gap in fact, but it was an ancient clan too. It dated back to even before the formation of Hidden Villages and their history with the Uchiha clan was almost as long. The Hagoromo were the only clan in Konoha to have what was essentially a matriarchal system, something that was apparently more common in the high mountains of Iron Country. While they had no kekki genkai or doujutsu, the Hagoromo had developed some unique skills over their long history. Most of the techniques they created allow them to disrupt chakra flow and escape from genjutsu. It evolved out of necessity from working alongside such intense and heavy genjutsu users like the Uchiha.
The Hagoromo also had several other unique cultural aspects that separated them from other clans (a fact they took great pride in). The most important was called a 'Tetsubasa' or 'Iron Wing'. Tetsubasa were intricate pieces of armor made for the left shoulder or arm. Typically they are given as a gift when a Hagormo becomes a genin. The started mostly blank but for the wearers name and the clan symbol and as the person's career grew so too did their Tetsubasa become more elaborate. "True warriors have their legends engraved upon their arms for all to see and fear," Ayaha told her, gesturing with deep pride to her own Tetsubasa.
She also finally learned that the formal style of dress she was often given to wear, the one that reminded her so much of a Chinese 'chang'ao', was called a 'chang'pao'. Sometimes the way this work so closely resembled her old one was bizarre.
Yuuko learned things Ayaha didn't specifically tell her too. The first and most important thing is that Konoha was at war. This she hears from soft exchanged between her parents and the gossip that leaches from the streets. It was a war Konoha was winning, although Yuuko did not know enough to really use that information to give her a time frame for when exactly she was in the story. For all she knew this could be far after the series and the Uchiha had somehow made a miraculous recovery. She also discovered a struggle that ran deep within every clan member in every clan in Konoha: a constant pressure to put both the village and the clan first. She picked this up in the strange veiled dichotomy of Ayaha's teachings ("The Will of Fire must be protected above all." "The clan is your heart and it is your duty to protect and follow as all costs." "The Hokage is our village father, and as such his orders are absolute.") When she attempted to get a solid answer about what a ninja was supposed to do if clan and Hokage orders contradicted, Ayaha grew increasingly vague and philosophical until Yuuko was pretty sure her teacher was spouting nonsense for lack of an answer. It was an impossible demand by any also knew that things between the Hagoromo and the Uchiha were becoming stained now for the first time in learns this from the whispers of unease on the streets and the mutterings of her own parents.
Learning all of this history does not make the idea of becoming a ninja any more appealing to her. Neither Ayaha's subtle praising of the Will of Fire nor her undertones of nationalism sway her mind at all. But Yuuko will not deny that it was fascinating and that she enjoyed learning it.
Her third birthday passed and while there was no real push to get her training there also didn't seem to be any discussion awaiting about her future. Instead there were subtle nudges - encouragements to join her brother in morning stretches, talk of how exciting academy was, books on famous ninja. Her parents and brother move forward without even the smallest thought that life as a shinobi might not be what she desired. She really was going to have to think of something.
Two and a half months after her third birthday Aunt Katsumi leaves the village on some kind of trip (Yuuko is not told the details) and so Hayato was watching her. They spend the morning playing card games (she was finally getting the rules down) and doing minor household chores. Yuuko was helping her brother wash the floors when someone knocked on the door. With wet sleeves and messy hair, Hayato dropped his cleaning rag and jumped up to open the door. Yuuko tottered after him and observed as he pulled the door open to reveal a boy who had to be Kotaro Humasa.
Her brother had told her a little of his genin team in the past. Kotaro Humasa was a civilian recruit her brother had mentioned once or twice. He had faded red hair and dressed practically in standard traditional gray pants and shirt with black open toed sandals. On his hip was a belt fitted with pouches, shuriken, and a pair of yawara. To Yuuko, he, more than anyone else she had yet seen, looked most like what the ninja of Japan had probably looked like. But while his outfits' practicality was undeniable, its relative simplicity and 'modernity' made it very obvious he was of civilian background.
Her stomach turned a little at the thought- because how off putting was it that she could tell that now from just a glance?
Oblivious to her internal strife, Hayato greeted the sullen boy warmly. "Kotaro! You don't normally come to see me! Would you like to come in?" The boy gave her brother an unimpressed look, "We have a mission. We move out in thirty minutes." Yuuko glanced between them as her brother blinked in surprise "What? Really?! But I'm watching Yuuko-chan tonight!" Kotaro shifted his feet and offered a shrug, "It is what it is. Take it up with the Hokage if you have a problem." Finally sparing a look down at his teammate's sister he shrugged again. "She looks old enough to be on fine on her own to me but whatever. Leave her at the park if you're worried, plenty of Uchiha eyes to watch her there. We'll be back before nightfall if we leave on time." The pointed look he gave threatened consequence if Hayato should prove the reason they were late. Ignoring her brother's displeased expression he turned to walk off "its twenty five minutes now." He warned and took off down the street.
Hayato turned back to her with deeply troubled eyes so she walked up and hugged his legs (she was still so short. Sometimes she would reach for things and find she just couldn't reach- fingers falling short and catching thin air.) Yuuko's small arms wrapped around him, and she craned her head back to look up at him with honest eyes. "I can stay in the park. I went once with Ayaha Sensei. I won't wonder off any'dwhere and you'll be back soon." Her speech had been improving dramatically recently, thanks in no small part to Hayato's continued patience and corrections. Grabbing her under the arms her big brother lifted her up to his hip. "I can play with d'a other kids" she tried to reassure and he 'humm'ed under his breath contemplatively. "I don't have much of a choice. I'd ask another clan family but a lot of us are out on missions right now."
Suddenly he swung her around in the air, Yuuko's little feet soaring out as he held her under the arms and twirled. He set her back on her feet and spoke in a brighter tone that sounds only a little forced, "grab your shoes and a snack. I'm going to grab some things really quick from my room and then I'll drop you off. Quick, quick! I'll race you!" With a giggle she hurried off even though she knew there was no possible way she could come anywhere close to matching his blinding speed.
Jowangshin Park, although not technically inside Uchiha clan grounds, was almost always full of Uchiha children. Hayato stood beside her as Yuuko tracked the children playing about. He seemed reluctant to let go of her hand which she thought was a little silly because they were quite literally just outside of the compound. Jowangshin Park stopped where the wall to the Hagoromo compound began and just about half of it was an open field of grass. Farther down there was an open dirt field with some small wooden targets. "I'm really sorry about this Yuuko-chan. This should be the only time we have to do this though, alright? Aunt Katsumi should be back by the end of the week. And I promise you won't have to be here too long." She felt rather bad he was so clearly bothered by leaving her here.
The relationship between the Uchiha and the Hagoromo was a strange one. They had been allies even before the creation of Hidden Villages, even before the wars with the Senju; in fact they had been allies so long the alliance pre-dated any record. But things had become more strained recently from what she could gather and she thought it probably had something to do with the population boom the Uchiha were experience. In contrast, the Hagoromo had been shrinking at an alarmingly fast rate.
So while this park should be a safe place for Hagoromo children to play, there was this undercurrent of unease and defensiveness that made Hagoromo parents very wary of letting young children outside the compound unattended. And the nervous suspicious behavior was likely, Yuuko thought, making the Uchiha nervous in turn. Yuuko privately considered the whole thing to be quite ridiculous. "I'll be fine," She told her brother honestly. Her big brother cast her a doubtful look but nodded helplessly. "I'll be back long before dark. But if something happens…" She tilted her head and watched his nose scrunch in indecision. "Go to the closest adult?" she proposed but he shook his head. She blinked back in surprise. Really? What was she supposed to do then? "If something happens go straight back to the Hagoromo gates. I know some of the Chuunin that are stationed there on watch duty today." Ahh. She wondered if tensions were even higher then she had realized or if this was just the signs of a culture that valued independence in children. Perhaps it is both, she mused. "I will," She agreed.
Actually glancing around she realized there didn't seem to be any 'real' adults in the park at all. She could spot two teenage Uchiha who were definitely wearing headbands. They stood on opposite ends of the park and were removed from the playing children but they couldn't have been much older than thirteen or fourteen. But she supposed that might actually classify as 'adult' here. The thought saddened her a little before she shook her head. With one last hug and a promise to be back as soon as he could, Hayato took off.
So I'm back. And look at this; I have people reviewing and following me!? What are you all doing here? Thank you to you all.
Here is some world building and cultural- political stuff. Do remember that Yuuko doesn't know the full context of things so sometimes her perceptions are a little off. Sometimes however it means that she will see things more clearly too. Also she is definitely not a perfect Buddhist either.
And I added a picture. It's the first piece of art I've every drawn on a tablet- and I think little Yuuko-chan turned out alright.
Let me know what you all think. As always- comments and criticisms are appreciated.