Thank you, SnowFairyMagicx! You're awesomeful.

"How did we forget Christmas cards?" Emma shook her head shamefully, tugging a shopping cart out of the rack and wheeling it through the store entrance. "This is a disaster."

"It's not that bad, Em," Neal said, half-jogging to keep with her as she zoomed to the card aisle. "People don't even read Christmas cards anymore."

"Yes, but they send them," Emma insisted. "And everyone's going to judge us if we don't send them Christmas cards. We'll be shunned from society."

"I think you're exaggerating."

"Am I, Neal? Ask yourself—what's going to happen when we get a call after the holidays are over, and it's someone's great-aunt saying, 'Neal, Emma—oh, your card must have gotten lost in the mail, dears, because I never got one' ?" Emma pointed a decisive finger at him, steering one-handed. "I'll tell you what's going to happen: we're going to have to make up this complicated backstory of why our cards got lost in the mail, and we're going to end up making a slightly different version for everyone, and sooner or later, someone's going to catch on, and BOOM! Our lives are over, we never hear the end of it, and we have to wait until every great-aunt is dead before we can celebrate Christmas again!"

"Okay—" Neal swung around and braced his hands on the front end of the cart, looking at her intently. "You're losing it now. Try taking some deep, slow breaths, okay? Watch: inhale—" he inhaled deeply, motioning for her to follow—"good, good. And now exhale…attagirl." He smiled kindly at her. "Feeling better?"

Emma took in another deep breath, raising her eyes to the ceiling. "Nope."

Neal sighed tiredly as she weaved the cart around him and continued zooming down the aisle. "This is so stupid."

"Hurry up, Neal!" Emma shouted over her shoulder. "I need you!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

Emma skidded to a halt as she reached the cards, her hawklike gaze darting through the stacks of cards, scanning the labels. "Oh, no," she whispered, her heart plummeting into her stomach. "No, no, no…"

"Now what?" Neal asked wearily, coming up behind her. "Santa's hat is flipped on the wrong side, and someone's grandpa is going to lose it?"

Emma whirled around, looking at him with wide, horrorstruck eyes. "They're all out. Th-they're out of Christmas cards."

"What?" Neal frowned, turning his head to glance over the cards: there were no jolly Santa's, no cartoon holly and ivy, no whimsical elves giggling at Christmas shenanigans… "Well, that's okay. We can improvise."

"Improvise?" Emma stared at him incredulously. "Improvise?"

"Yeah," Neal shrugged, leaning over to pick up one of the Happy Birthday cards. "Here, look: 'Happy Birthday'—write 'Jesus' underneath that, and you got yourself a Christmas card."

Emma slowly lowered her eyes to the card in his hand. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" she asked quietly.

"What?"

"I said, are you fucking kidding me right now, Neal?" she repeated louder. "You want to send out cards that say, 'Happy Birthday, Jesus' ? Are you even—?" She shook her head in disbelief. "What is wrong with you?"

"Take it easy, okay?" Neal said, looking at her in alarm. "You're getting a little intense, Em. Maybe you should take it easy on the candy canes, the sugar's starting to have a bad effect on you."

"I can hold my candy canes," she said witheringly. "What I need right now, are some goddamn Christmas cards!" She threw the card furiously, muttering under her breath as she flipped through the stacks. "Can't believe there's not a single Christmas card in here, this is ridiculous…"

"Emma—" Neal took her arms from behind, forcing her to drop the cards she'd been feverishly rifling through. "Remember how we talked about deep, slow breaths?"

"I don't have time for deep, slow breaths, Neal!" she said in ringing tones. "We have a Christmas card fiasco on our hands! And I know that sounds like a comedic problem, but it's not, Neal! It's not!"

"I have one word for you that's going to make this all go away," Neal soothed over her frantic ramblings, gently guiding her away. "E-cards."

Emma stopped in her tracks, slowly lifting her head. "E-cards," she breathed. "Of course…"

"There." Neal released her arms, and took her hand. "Now, let's go get a coffee or something, and when we get home…we are throwing out the rest of your candy canes."