The Scene—The Morning After
by Cyberchao X
Disclaimer: I actually feel even more need to put this disclaimer here, because from what I hear 4LS has been very protective of their intellectual property. Maybe it's because it's freeware…
CC: Wait, this fic is getting a continuation? I know you're disappointed about how low the views are compared to the other fics that got later starts, but…it's a songfic. Can you really continue a songfic with a non-songfic?
CCX: Of course I can, and of course it does. A couple of times, I started wondering if the fic would get more views if I changed the genres, but I really think the ones I chose were indeed the best. But surprises aside, I want to continue exploring this darker Rin. We see a lot of that darkness in Rin's own route, but for the most part all of my Rin fics have only highlighted her happier side—although her moodiness is at least mentioned in "Love Nest". This is a Rin who still engages in the same self-destructive behavior that we saw some of in canon—not only smoking, but going on alternate binges of smoking heavily and not smoking at all, which probably has to be brutal because of the DTs that come from denying the addiction; and now adding drinking to her list of vices/addictions. So I want to see where this goes—enough to bring my old author character out of storage so I could hold a conversation with myself.
CC: Fair enough. First person again?
CCX: Damn, I'd almost forgot. This just gets better and better.
"Gah…my head…" I rubbed my forehead with my foot. "Where am I?"
"On our couch," Hisao said. Hisao brought me back to his apartment? Emi probably told him to. Although I think Hisao likes to watch sleeping girls, so he wouldn't mind.
"And you were watching me sleep? Shouldn't you watch your girlfriend instead?"
"I-I wasn't watching. And…Emi's usually up before me."
"All the more reason to seize the opportunity!"
Hisao shrugged and headed to his room, probably to watch Emi sleep for a bit before waking her. So, what got me here… Obviously Emi was worried about me, which probably means I didn't show great discretion with my wine drinking. They didn't even want to leave me alone… "What happened last night?"
"Hmm?" Hisao was in the other room.
"Did I make a fool of myself at my gallery opening last night? Oh, please tell me that that was last night and that I haven't been asleep for two days or a week or a year."
"Yes, it was last night; and no, you didn't really make a fool of yourself. If anything, I'm a little disturbed by just how interested they are."
"You don't think they should be?"
"Surely you've heard the theory that an artist's work is more valuable after the artist is dead, right? I'm worried that what they see in you is a highly talented but highly disturbed artist, capable of putting out a flurry of masterpieces and being gone by the end of the decade."
"…So they like me more because I'm crazy?" I asked.
"Sounds that way."
Well, I made a good impression. Sort of. I don't think I like that they don't expect me to live very long. I think they're wrong about that. These aren't my clothes. Must be Emi's. They don't fit very well. I should take a shower. But that could be difficult, because they don't have any of my special showering things. Guess there's nothing that can be done until Emi gets up, then. "I was right. You do like watching girls sleep."
"How did—when did you—?"
"Disappointed that you weren't paying attention?" If Hisao had been turned toward the door when I opened it, he would've gotten a glimpse of my panties. That's why I normally wear pants instead. But Hisao shouldn't be looking at other girls' panties.
"That's not… I wouldn't have… I tried not to look…" Wait, what?
"Are you saying you've already seen my panties? That's very ungentlemanly of you, Hisao."
"Well, someone had to help you change last night. You told me to look away then, too, but it's not that easy to completely miss it."
That's right. Hisao did help me last night, I think. Why didn't Emi take care of that? "Sh'tup. 'M tryin' t' sleep," Emi mumbled. I left the room.
Not surprisingly, Hisao followed me. "That's… probably my fault, isn't it?" I asked.
"What?"
"Emi. She's not very Emi today. My fault. I'm hung over. She seems more hung over. I feel like I'm probably to blame."
"Well, we don't keep alcohol around the house because Emi's health plan for me won't allow me to drink and it wouldn't be fair for her to be drinking at home without me. So she's not as—yeah, last night probably was the most she's ever drank. But I don't think you should blame yourself."
"'She's not as used to it as you are, Rin.' That's what you were going to say, right?" I paused. "My fault. I seem to have a lot of those."
"A lot of what?"
"Faults. I need something for this hangover. You don't have any wine. Do you have anything that can help me?"
"See, this is what I'm talking about. Curing hangovers with more alcohol is not healthy."
"Coffee? No, that's for sobering up. It's not true, though."
"Water," Hisao said, getting a glass and helping me drink it—I suppose they didn't have any straws, since my visit wasn't really planned. "You're supposed to drink lots of water to rehydrate, and that prevents hangovers. Of course, since you've already got one, you might want some aspirin. We've always got plenty of that around."
"Nah. Most of those painkillers say they shouldn't be taken if you consume more than three alcoholic drinks per day."
"Then stop consuming so much alcohol." I smiled. You're so silly, Hisao. This nightgown really is way too tight, and too short. I hope Emi's done sleeping off her drinking binge soon. Nothing really to do until then. Maybe I'll go keep her company until my head stops feeling so fuzzy.
"Okay, what is going on here? Hisao?"
"Ah, you're awake? That's good. I need you to be awake."
"Rin, why are you sleeping in our bed? Where's Hisao?"
I shrugged to the second question. "Because you were still asleep. Couldn't wait for you. Not with Hisao, anyway. Might do something I'd regret. I think I've already done enough damage to our friendship." Emi just stared at me. I wish she'd say something else. Normally I don't mind silences, but I feel like I ruined things between us, and I want Emi to tell me that I'm wrong. Or at least tell me that I'm right. Tell me something. Hopefully that I'm wrong, and we're still best friends. "Sorry for getting you drunk last night," I offered.
"…I don't think it happened quite like that. But I don't really remember much of last night. Were you in bed with me all night?"
"No, I was on the couch. Hisao helped me change into one of your nightgowns. I told him not to peek but he apparently didn't listen, or couldn't avoid it. I'm not sure why you didn't do it instead. Maybe you couldn't."
Emi put her legs on. "Could you, um, not watch me? I need to get dressed."
"Why?"
"Uh…"
"I was going to ask you to help me shower. Like we used to. I normally do it myself but that's with special brushes and seats and things. Your nightgown doesn't fit me very well."
Emi turned red. Not red like a tomato; more like a strawberry. Emi likes strawberries, I think. "Well, excuse me!"
"For what?"
"…Never mind. I'm just a bit frazzled by the fact that I woke up naked next to another girl who's wearing my nightgown."
"I'm not just 'another girl', Emi. I'm your best friend. At least I was until yesterday. I want to still be your best friend, but I don't think you'll let me. Will you let me?"
"Of- Of course!" She hugged me and kissed my forehead. She smells so nice, like happiness. "I don't know what I did that would make you think I didn't want to be your friend anymore, but whatever it was, I'm sorry and I promise I'll never do it again!"
"You didn't do anything, Emi. I did."
"Well, then, whatever it was, I forgive you."
"…I think we kissed. Like, you know, kissed."
"…Was it on a dare? No, wait, last night wasn't that type of party; it was…your gallery opening. I left you, and went snooping into your house—loft, and then I drank some more…and then I went back down those stairs."
"Yeah. Hisao and I met up with you just outside the stairs. Hisao told you to wait in the car while he helped me get back to my room, but… you decided to take me home. I guess I was wrong about you not wanting to be my friend anymore."
"…I really don't remember much past getting down those damn stairs."
"I really don't remember much, ever. I'm good at forgetting things. But I think you didn't want me to be alone, because I'd been drinking too much again."
"Again?"
"I drink a lot. Probably bad for my health, but it makes me happy so I do it."
"Well, at least you realize that you're killing yourself."
"I'm not going to be gone by the end of the decade." Emi gave me another one of those looks. "I'll prove them wrong, even if it means they won't like my work quite as much."
"I guess I should help you with that shower now."
"Please. This nightgown is too tight. Very uncomfortable." I stood up, nodding to Emi to help me remove it. I tried to do as much as I could on my own, rocking from side to side to try to get my stumps out of the armholes and kicking up a leg to try to force it off, but it wasn't really effective.
"I'll undress you after we get into the bathroom." She put her hand to her face. Wouldn't it be better to cover up her private areas, if she was indeed going to stay naked? Oh, but it's not like Hisao hasn't seen them anyway. And of course, I've seen them too, because we showered together. I followed her to the bathroom. The first thing she did was to get some aspirin. "You need any?" she offered.
I shook my head. "Nah. That would mean giving up drinking."
"Well then do that."
"That's what Hisao said, too. This isn't going to be weird for you, is it?"
"Why would it be weird? We did this all the time back in school."
"But last night…"
"Would you stop talking about last night?" Emi sounded angry. "I told you I don't remember it. You said you thought we made out, but we didn't go any further than that, did we?"
"I don't think so. But you helping me wash down there would probably be considered 'going further'. I'll try to do as much as I can by myself."
"No, that's fine. We only have bar soap, and that might be hard for you. Also I'd worry that you'd slip and hurt yourself."
"Thanks. You're a really great friend, Emi. Better than I deserve."
"Don't say that!" Ah, there's an Emi face I'm familiar with. That cute face she uses when she wants something from someone. "It's stuff like that that makes me worry about you! You're a great girl, Rin, and I don't like it when you get down on yourself like that. You just need…"
"Yes?"
"Someone to make you feel special. You know, like the way Hisao and I are. You were probably like this last night, too. That would explain it. You were sad, and I felt that you needed somebody to love you, but there was nobody there so I kissed you myself."
"…Because you love me?"
"Well, yeah. Not like that; I'm not in love with you. But…you're still a very important person to me, Rin. Probably the fourth-most important person in my life, behind Hisao and my mom and… dad…" Now she looks like she wants to cry. Again. Did I do something wrong?
"Is something wrong, Emi? Whatever I said, I'm sorry…"
"…It's not your fault, Rin. Stop apologizing to me. It's…it's my own fault. I still get sad whenever I think about my father…" Oh. Don't most people get happy when they think about their parents? Or angry, if they don't like them. But not sad. Emi's mom is nice, but I don't think I've ever met her dad. Maybe she hasn't either? That would be sad. But I don't think that's it; she does talk about him sometimes, but not much. Usually when she's talking about running. Maybe he likes to run, too. That's probably it; a girl without legs doesn't take up running for no reason. Well, maybe Emi would, because she likes to do things she can't do just because she can. We're a lot alike like that.
"Is that it?"
"Is that what?" she asked.
"Running. Why you started. It does seem like an odd choice of sports for someone without legs."
"…You do realize that I wasn't born without legs the way you were born without arms, right?"
"…Really?"
"…Yeah. I had legs for the first ten years of my life. Then there was a car accident…they had to remove my legs just to get me out of the car. That was… That was also when my father died."
"Oh. That's why thinking about your father makes you sad. Because he's dead and you miss him."
Emi nodded. "I haven't told many people about that. There aren't that many pictures of my father in my house, because it was too painful. Or maybe there are now, because I'm not living there anymore. I told Hisao. I didn't want to, but he was too persistent; wanted to help me deal with the pain. And I guess that's what made it easier to tell you, but…I still don't like to think about it." She looked so sad. I wanted to hug her, but I couldn't because I have no arms.
"Well, then, I won't tell anyone else."
"…Thanks."
"I kissed you, though."
"Huh?"
"Last night. You said you kissed me because I needed someone to love me, but you didn't. I kissed you. I think. Maybe not. The past is easier to know than the future, but still harder than the present."
"You just had to say one of those endearing Rinicisms while I was washing your breasts, didn't you?"
"Rinicisms?"
Emi was trying not to laugh. "You're so… interesting."
"You mean I'm weird. Or possibly crazy. I don't think I like being crazy, but so I am. I might keep at it a bit longer, if it will help me sell paintings, but if I keep at it for too long the future will refuse to change. I'm not going to be gone by the end of the decade. I decided that today. I can't know the future, though, so maybe I will. But I don't want to be. Can you help me live the way you helped Hisao live? You can leave out the part with the sex, though, if it would make you uncomfortable. Or don't, if you don't want to, because I like you and I wouldn't mind. I think that might be why I thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore, though. Because I kissed you and got too affectionate. Can I blame it on the alcohol? That would be nice if I could do that but it would probably also be wrong because I like you and I don't think like most people think and while I definitely see the appeal of a penis I don't think love should be dictated by anatomy and I'm pretty sure I love you because you're nice to me even when you're not and because you know how to handle my feet just like you are right now and my feet are very special to me because they're also my hands because I don't have any hands or arms which is why I can't hug you the way I want to right now because you're being so nice to me and showering with me even though you don't love me the same way that I love you and also because you were sad and I felt like it was my fault even though you said it wasn't and… you're… I don't think this is normal for just helping me shower, Emi." My face started to turn red, and not because of how hot the water was. (CCX: Had to make a special effort to turn off the commas for that last sentence, to make it more authentic.)
"You were starting to babble. And you never do that in the shower?"
"It's not the same, though. It's you doing it, not me."
"…Sorry. Probably was a bad idea, especially with you confessing to me somewhere in that monologue. You might be right about it being weird that love is dictated by anatomy, but I think it's just natural because of the reproductive instinct or something. Hisao would probably know more, since he's the one training to become a science teacher, even though his specialty is physics, not biology."
"It's too bad he isn't working in genetics. It would be nice if he could figure out how to regrow our limbs."
Emi started laughing. "You're a strange girl, Rin." Then she kissed me. Not long and deep like fully making out, but right on the lips and for longer than just a quick peck. "And maybe I am, too. We're strange together."
"A straight girl initiating a kiss with a bisexual female friend that just confessed to her? Yeah, you're definitely a strange girl too."
Emi continued to giggle, a very cute sound. Then she reached up and turned the water off. "Ah, the towels are all the way over there, and I don't want to have to crawl across the bathroom floor. Can you give me a hand with that?"
"No. I don't have one, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah. You're right; wouldn't want you slipping."
She used her hands to help propel her over to them and grabbed them, tossing one to me. "I can't really wrap myself up in this. Well, I can wrap it around my upper body, but not my lower body."
"Okay, okay." She quickly toweled off and put her legs on, then helped me to dry off.
"So what do I wear now? I don't think any of your bras will fit me."
"No, probably not. I guess you'll have to go without. You might be able to change back into what you were wearing yesterday, though, minus the underwear. I suppose…I'll have to lend you a pair of panties."
"Or I could go without there, too. Just until I get home. Thanks for taking care of me."
"…You said you wanted me to help you live a better life, the way I helped Hisao when he first arrived at Yamaku? I…I should probably stay with you for a bit, then. For today, anyway. Although, I'd be hanging Hisao up, since he'd have to drive… I don't have a license; you can probably figure out why, right?"
"Nope."
"Oh." And that was all on that subject, so I never did find out the reason. "Well, anyway, we'll make up a plan."
"Thank you."
"Anything for you, Rin. Well…I'm not going to turn lesbian or even bisexual for you, but short of that, just about anything. You're my friend, Rin, and that's not going to change."
"That's good. I'm happy. I think that's the first step."
"Towards what?"
"Towards fixing my problems. Drinking makes me happy, but I'm happy right now and I haven't been drinking. So that's the first step."
"…Glad to hear it."
CCX: Well, that was…about as good as we could've hoped for this to turn out. Although I don't know why Emi knowingly teased Rin like that.
CC: I do. It's because you just can't resist a little yuri action.
CCX: …You're probably right. Or I'm probably right, since even when I have both author characters present for dialogue, I'm still only one person. This is Cyberchao X—and the original Cyberchao—signing off.