Warnings: Not really much, a bit of swearing, and OOC, oh yeah, self insertion, though not for long.
Disclaimer: I don't own DB/Z/GT the world, or the characters. No, I have never made money off of these fics, and I never will.
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As always ~xxxxx~ means that a person is thinking and JAT would be my abbriviation for my own name. I had more of this written, but I forgot to save. *groan* So more will be up next time, and here I thought that last golf fic would be a one shot thing.
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Vegeta had just lost his previous fight with Goku and was feeling rather put out. ~He always beats me no matter what.~ Vegeta grunbled mentally. Sulking, he crossed his arms and began to levitate like Piccolo. ~Why can't I beat him?~ Vegeta berated himself. ~Oh, it's just not fair!~ Vegeta unconciously stuck out his lower lip, as his eyes slid shut. He was just entering a state of calm (well, at least fo him) when Goku snuck up behind him.
Placing his hands over Vegeta's eyes he called out in a sing-song voice. "Guess who!"
"Kakarot, get your dirty, third class fingers off my eyes." Vegeta growled.
Goku pouted, "How'd ya know who I was?"
Vegeta gave Goku a menecing glare, he was just about to chew Goku's head off, when an idea popped into his head. "Goku, how about we go play a round of...um..." Damn, he still couldn't remember. "You know, the game, with the stick, and you hit a little white ball?"
"Uh, is that the game Yamcha played? Base...Baseball I think he called it?" Goku tried to think back.
"No!" Vegeta said rather impatiently, "It's uh..."
"Golf." a heavenly voice boomed.
"Who said that?" both Sayians asked in unison.
"It's me guys, Dende."
"Oh, okay." Goku said. "For a moment there I thought those fourty-five hamburgers were catching up to me." Goku said a sweat drop forming on his forehead.
Vegeta simply fell over, classic anime style. "Um...Kakarot." he said standing up. "Let's just go play...uh..." Vegeta scrathed his head trying to remember.
"Golf." Dende said from above.
"What's golf?" Goku asked oblivious to the glare Vegeta gave him.
"I thought I already told you..." Vegeta was cut off.
"If golf a food?" Goku asked licking his lips.
"No!" Vegeta yelled.
Apparently it all went in one ear and out the other because Goku continued his little fantasy. "C'mon Veggie, let's go get something to eat, I'd like to try golf."
Forgetting the unintentional insult Vegeta practically screamed, "It's a game you stupid idiot! A game! Not food!"
-Later-
"Did they have good service here last time you came?" Goku asked.
"Kakarot." Vegeta started to say, but never finished because as he reached for the door knob, it suddenly swung outwards hitting Vegeta in the face. Vegeta fell back momentarily stunned. Then realizing the situation that had just happened, he got up and ran after the man that had just bruised his ego.
"Hi!" the man said cheerfully.
Without a word Vegeta grabbed the poor man's clubs and gave him a swift kick in the rear. It wasn't very hard though, and the man came crashing down in a nearby water hazard.
"Serves you right." Vegeta grumbled. "Here! Catch!" he yelled at Goku's back tossing a nine iron at his back.
Unfortunatly it hit the back of Goku's head and splintered into very minute fragments. Goku turned around.
"What'd ya want?" he yelled at Vegeta.
Vegeta muttered something in his native language before walking back. He sighed, then grabbing Goku by the sleeve and dragged him over to the driving range.
Vegeta handed Goku a random club and then realized he hadn't gotten any golf balls. "Oh well." he sighed.
With that he ventured out into the feild and began collecting balls in a bucket that had been left. There were several complaints from other Golfers, but Vegeta pretty much ignored them, that is until he was hit by one of the flying white spheres.
He raised a fist in the air and bellowed, "If you do that one more time you'll be sorry!"
A small kid just stuck out her tongue. (that'd be me)
"How dare you!" the king of the Saiyans roared.
"Cause I'm the author of this sad little fic!" JAT yelled back.
"Oh, well then that changes everything," he was being sarcastic because the next thing JAT knew she was hit with a chi blast. And since she's dead...
THE END
Vegeta: Hold on! Wait a sec! We're not even half way done with this thing!
JAT: Your done now.
Vegeta: Why?
JAT: Because you killed me.
Vegeta: Then how come I'm talking to you?
JAT: Um...good point.
NOT THE END
Vegeta glared at the author before returning to the story. "Where was I?" he muttered. Then looking up he paled. "Kakarot! No!"
Too late, he'd already chomped down on the golf ball. It shattered, just like to golf club. "Well. That didn't work." Goku said dissapointed.
"No kidding." Vegeta snickered.
"Then I guess I'll just have to eat one whole!" Goku replied cheering up.
"Kakarot!" Vegeta yelled again.
"Mmmmm. That tastes delicious. You ought to try one Vege..." Goku squinted.
"Something wrong?" Vegeta asked.
"Uh...I feel kinda...weird." was all Goku said.
"I told you golf balls weren't food. But would you listen? Noooooooo." Vegeta lectured.
"It's impossible, I've never come down with any sickness!" Goku protested.
"I don't care what you say, your going to the hospital."
At this remark Goku grew white. "NO!" he screamed. "NOT THE NEEDLES!"
-At the Hospital-
"No! I'm perfectly fine!" Goku insisted as they wheeled him into a room.
"Whatever you say Mr. Son." the doctor remarked half mindedly.
As the nurses closed in with the needles Goku began to panick. "NO! No! Uh." he cried as he fell unconcious.
When Goku woke up he felt kinda groggy. The needles had been removed, but he could still feel the sting. A nurse walked in and greeted him warmly. "How are you feeling?" she asked.
"I'm tired." Goku said yawning.
"Well then, what would you like that has caffine in it?" she asked.
"What do you have?" Goku asked.
"Soda, Coffee." the nurse gave Goku a strange look, "On second thought I think we're all out of coffee. How would you like a popcicle?" she asked.
"Uh, I guess." Goku replied, he just wanted to go back to sleep.
"We have grape, root beer, cherry, orange, and brussel sprout flavored popcicles." she answered.
"Orange please."
"Are you sure you don't want brussel sprout?" the nurse paused, "We have a lot in stock."
"That's alright." Goku yawned again.
In a few minutes she was back. "There ya go." she said giving him the popcicle.
"That you very much." Goku said downing the food in one bite. All of a sudden he felt a woozy feeling come over him. Without him knowing it Vegeta intered the room.
"Hi." he mummbled.
"I have to go to the bathroom mommy." Goku said out of the blue.
"What?!" Vegeta was taken aback.
"I'm not drunk." Goku suprised Vegeta again.
"Goku. I'm getting Chi Chi." Vegeta was looking nervous.
"Okay." Goku said closing his eyes and falling asleep.
"So much for a caffine rush." Vegeta muttered going to call Chi Chi.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Special thanks to ice queen and all you others that sent in your ideas. I really appriciate feedback. Though this doesn't center as much around golf as the other one, and while the other one (in my humble opinion) was better, (not to mention funnier) this is what I came up with. Anyway, all comments welcomed. Just use that handy dandy box below to tell me what ya think.