Fate in a Trench Coat

Part 2

by Trycee

Time Frame: All Things, Season 7: Scully has to confront her guilt over the past.

Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files, its owned by Chris Carter and Fox. I wrote this for fun not profit.

***I first wrote this in August 2010 but I thought I'd update it.

Standing in the hallway of the hospital, I told myself to just do it, just walk through the door but when I entered I was caught off guard. Wrong room. Alright Dana, get brave again. Deal with your demons. My feet wanted to drag but I prepared myself as I stood a few yards from his bed. He noticed me first and I noticed Maggie. She pushed past me exiting and I stood there as the shame hit me square in the eyes. At that moment I wasn't Dr. Scully. or Special Agent Scully, I was a Home wrecker, the Mistress all over again.

As Daniel stared at me, I felt like that young girl all over again. There were no feelings of love no, but I felt like when he looked at me I was still in my early twenties, still looking to him for the answers, for him to tell me which way to go in my life, to be that girl who needed his approval like a drug. After bantering with him a bit, I asked how he happened to be in Washington and then he grabbed my hand. His hands felt familiar, colder, older, and uncomfortable but I tried my best to hide that as I laid my hand in his. He gripped my hand tighter, he was looking for a ring and didn't find one and I could see the smirk on his face. I sat down as he continued holding my hand, it no longer fit, my hand in his but I was trying to be polite. It felt again like I was a cheater with my hands, only this time on Mulder.

"How's the FBI?", he asked, still holding my hand as I tried tactfully to remove it but he wouldn't let go.

"Is that why you wanted to see me?", I asked. "To remind me once again what a bad choice I made? "

He pressed my hand to his mouth and then rubbed it against his face. "Believe me my motivation is far more selfish then that."

I sighed, "You scare me Daniel." He finally let go of my hand.

"I know," he said, visibly hurt by my words. "I scare you because I represented that which is ingrained not only in your mind but in your heart... that which you secretly longed for..."

"You never accepted my reason for leaving", I told him.

"There was no reason, it was an excuse," he said, bitterly.

I looked at him then, all the memories brought up to the surface. "But you understood why," I continued.

"I can't believe the FBI is a passion not like medicine."

I knew he would think that of course. It was the same reasoning he had given me years ago trying to convince me to stay with him despite Barbara's and Maggie's feelings of betrayal. I stood up then, "I'm sorry I came."

He touched my face and rubbed his fingers against my cheek. He used to do that and it made me weak, now his touch was weak, cold and odd. When Mulder touched my face, there was a fire that erupted through me and this touch was nothing like that. It was a memory of a touch but one I did not need anymore. .

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," I said, without looking at him. He saw that his touch no longer worked and he saw the pain in my eyes. "I know how difficult it must've been for you just walking through that door. But you wouldn't have come if you didn't want too."

My head had been down but I raised it at that.

"That says something doesn't it...", he continued.

But as I stood there looking into his eyes I wondered if I did want to be there. So much in my life had changed but standing there with Daniel it was as if all the accomplishments in my life never existed. I was standing in his shadow. I was still that girl looking for his approval, his love, and his authority.

When I jumped into my car, Mulder called me. I was relieved to hear his voice actually. He said he had the address of the woman, Colleen who researched crop circles and he wanted me to... And then I saw her, I nearly hit her, the woman in the trench coat. I slammed on my brakes barely missing her and as I sat there in the car, a truck plowed past just where I'd almost hit her and if I hadn't seen the woman, the truck would've struck me possibly killing me. I turned back towards the woman in the trench coat and she turned to smile at me. I sat there a moment. There was something strange about that woman. I nearly hit her and she turns to smile at me? But if not for her I would have been killed. How strange! Was it coincidence or more? I could hear Mulder's voice, I had dropped the phone.

After meeting Colleen, Mulder's contact and realizing we had seen each other in the hospital when I mistakenly walked into the wrong room, and after brushing off her crop circle research and her mumble jumble about slowing down, Right like that will ever happen. It was like time stopped as the papers she handed me fell all over the front stoop. And time just slowed. As I gathered the papers I saw the Heart Chakra and I don't know why it stood out to me. I'd seen hundreds of crop circle photos working with Mulder, we'd even investigated a few that turned out to be bogus, but for some reason that photo spoke to me. My phone rang and I found myself right back at Daniels hospital room, with Maggie standing there and Dr. Kopeikan.

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