Ship: Lams

AU: Cannon Era

TW: Death, and lots of crying

Requested, hey, you never said fluff. So I'm handing you some lovely angst.

"Alexander!" Eliza shouted, almost sprinting into the room, a letter in her hand. "Alexander, there's a letter for you."

Alex looked up from the letter he'd been writing, and placed his quill in the ink pot, turning in his chair. "Its from John Laurens, I'll read it later."

And he spun around again. "No, it's not."

Alex was overcome by a wave of panic, but was soon calmed, the war was over. Done. Completed.

But Eliza was still talking, she'd opened the letter and was reading. "My son was killed..." And Alex's mind stopped. He couldn't hear was his wife saying, all he knew is that John, his best friend, his partner, his... lover... was dead. Buried in the ground. Gone.

"Alexander..." Eliza whispered, almost inaudible.

He stood, leaving the half written letter to Laurens on his desk. "I have so much work to do." And he ran from his study, into the master bedroom, locking the door with a golden key afterwards.

He fell onto his bed, frozen. And then the tears came, cascading down his cheeks and dampening his pillow. Alex's mind eventually lulled off into a daydream. In fact, many daydreams. All about John and him, and hiding their relationships from their wives. It was easier when they set up camp, because then they were away from Eliza and Martha.

There was the familiar flapping sound of the tent opening, as soft footsteps entered, walking quietly to Alexander's bed. "Alex? Lexi, come on, get up." They shook Alex's sleeping body gently.

Alexander groaned, turning over in his sleep. "Alexander, wake up, hon. It's dark out, we should go outside."

He sat up groggily, yawning. "John?"

"That's right!" Alexander recognised the fluffy hair, tied into the pony tail in an instant. "And the stars are out, so we're out too."

Alex slipped out of bed, shoving his boots on and grabbing John's hand. Sure, this was indecent, but it was love.

The two ran from the tent, and far enough away from camp that they wouldn't be spotted, into their usual spot in an open clearing of trees. They lay down, hands still joined and rested their heads on a log. With his free hand, John gestured to the sky, his fingers joining the bright stars with invisible threads. Alexander smiled, following his hand.

"I love the stars." Laurens smiled, taking his hand down, edging a little closer to Alexander.

"Me too..." Alexander gushed, he usually hated the cold, the dark, but with John? He loved it all. Everything was alright with him there.

John yawned, and Alexander closed the small gap between them, and they were side by side. John rolled a little, and pressed their foreheads together.

"What are we going to do when the war is over?" Alexander asked.

"I'll be in New York, and we can continue like this." John smiled, filling Alex with warmth.

"So, we'll do this for the rest of our lives?" Alex questioned again, an involuntary shiver running down his spine.

"If you want to."

"I do." Alex tipped his head up, capturing John's lips in a soft kiss.

They had been together for the rest of their lives. Which wasn't very long in John's case. And now, he was alone, and his true love was in the ground.

"Mon petit lion! Look out!" Lafayette had shouted, dragging Alexander by the collar away.

The cannon exploded and Alex covered his ears as Lafayette dropped him. Then the gunfire started and the two were running, the others had already fled, but Lafayette and Alex were in the thick of it. It was their first battle, Lafayette's first battle too. Alexander kept sprinting, not stopping when there was a scream. He only stopped when he realised Lafayette wasn't by his side. Alex whipped around, and Lafayette was limping, gripping his leg.

"Laf!" Alexander ran back to the tall man, wrapping an arm around his waist and helping to drag him to camp.

"Merde!" Lafayette hissed, as he was finally hauled into camp. He was still clutching his leg, and the pant material around it was bright red with blood.

"Holy shit, Laf, we gotta get you to the medical tent." Alexander helped the lanky man towards said tent, the taller hissing his disagreements the whole way.

"Mon petit lion, I'm fine!"

"Laf, you've been shot in the leg." Alexander stated, sitting him down.

"I'll be all right!"

Lafayette moved his hand, revealing it to be covered in blood. And his pants were soaking it up. "No you won't, you get infected, the medics on his way. Stay here."

Alexander rushed out to find John, Hercules was back in New York, being with the sons of liberty now. He was gonna be a spy. Which was cool. "Jackie!"

"Yes, Lex?" John turned in his tent. "You made it back! We heard the cannon! Is Lafayette okay?"

"He was shot, but he'll be alright."

"Shot!? Where?!" Laurens panicked, this was one of his best friends!

"His leg, so he should be okay." John enveloped Alex in a hug, holding the smaller man.

"You're sure he'll be all right?" John questioned into Alex's hair, kissing the top of his head.

"Positive."

John leaned down a little and kissed Alexander softly, draping his arms around the Caribbeans neck. "I love you." He whispered against Alex's lips

"I love you too."

Alex pulled the pillow over his head. John was gone! He would never see him again...

Eliza knocked on the door, and Alexander scattered to his feet, running and unlocking the door. Eliza had never seen her husband so distraught before. She held out her arms and her slightly taller husband broke down into her hug, sobbing uncontrollably.

It pained her knowing how close Alex was with John. In fact, she knew it all. She'd read the letters John sent him, the letters they'd sent each other. But Eliza said nothing, she loved this man, even if his actions could get him killed. So she said nothing and simply allowed Alexander to cry and cry and cry.

Alex sunk to the floor, gripping the sleeves of Eliza's blue dress, and she crouched by him. She hushed him gently, whispering sweet nothings and rubbing his back.

"It'll be all right..." She murmured.

Alexander babbled random words, and Eliza frowned. She'd never seen Alex so upset, so lost, so... vulnerable.

"Shhh... I'm here..."

Alex hugged his wife tightly, looking up at her.

"Thank you."

Alex couldn't stop crying.

All he wanted to do was look at the stars with John again.

Words: 1,163

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