Hi, I hope you guys liked my first chapter this one will be longer than my last. Also this is taking place before she started hanging out with Jake in New Moon.

Warning- there will be brief mentions of cutting and Anorexia.

Again Let me know what pairing this story should have or if you guys don't want a pairing at all.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 2: Confidence

"You think you found something better

Just cause you found something new

Y'all look so happy together"

I woke up to one of my favorite songs at the moment 'Do You Miss It' by Summerella. I turned it up and sang along. This song has been on replay everyday for a week and when I'm not listening to it I'm singing it in my head. As I stare at the ceiling singing the song I couldn't help but think today is the day.

Today is the first day I woke up and was able to breath without pain. I slowly got up and walked over to my white and yellow floor mirror. I've always been insecure thinking I was to skinny. While I was out of it I was barely eating and lost a lot more weight. I slowly stripped off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror scared to open my eyes. I took a deep breath and looked. I gasped. I haven't really looked at myself in months and was shocked at what I seen. It was beyond what I thought. You could see my ribs poking out. My hip bones more pronounced than ever. On my thighs were three lines, cuts that showed how weak I was. I never understood it before, but I do now. It's harder to live than it is to die.

I continued to look myself over and cry about the person I was and I cursed Edward for ever talking to me that day in Biology in the first place. Everything about me draws you in he had said to me one day. I never truly got it until he left. It was like I was going through withdrawal. For the first couple months I used to wake up shaking I thought I was having a seizure. I would get dizzy at random times and black out sometimes. It's starting to get better. By better I mean I take anxiety medication and pain pills daily.

I don't want to be like this. I refuse to be like this. I want to be better/healthier. I snatched my robe from the closet and headed to the bathroom to take my shower before school. I scrubbed, washed, and shaved all of the necessary places until I was smelling of vanilla and strawberries. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed slight acne starting to form in the middle of my forehead. I used a warm face towel to clean my face making a mental note to pick up some face soap. I looked at the clock and noticed my shower was longer than I meant it to be because I had to be at school in forty-five minutes. I quickly chose the first thing I seen which was a gray police academy hoodie I stole from Charlie and some black skinny jeans which hung slightly off my hips because of the weight I've lost. I threw on my black converse and ran my hands through my tangled hair and just put it in a bun to hide how dry and tangled it was.

I ran downstairs with enough time to make a good hearty breakfast. I made eggs, turkey bacon, and toast. I noticed Charlie had already left for work so I only made enough for me. I started eating and realized how hungry I really was because I finished in five minutes. With fifteen minutes left to get to school I walked out of the house to the car and slipped twisting my ankle along the way. "Oww! Fuck!" I screamed.

"Why? Great going Bella." I said to myself getting up and walking to the car. As I drove to school I thought about my old friends. I won't admit this to anyone, but my pride is horrible. I don't want to go to my old friends and have them judge me when I was already doing that. I'll make new friends. When I started to focus I realized I was already parked in front of the school and I was too distracted with my inner rant. Glad I'm okay.

I don't think school if for me. Needless to say I didn't have a great day. We had a new student today who was a completely jerk and almost killed me while trying to be charming at the same time. His name was Kaleb. He was tall if I had to guess around 6'4", taller than Emmett. He was a mocha complexion, he had curly black hair that sometimes gets in his light brown eyes, and he was well built bigger than Jasper, but smaller than Emmett. He dressed fashionable and seemed attached to his black ripped jean jacket. He was cute, but infuriating.

Flash Back

On to Calculus I thought with irritation. I hate math. I'm good at it, but I hate it. As I was walking to class some jerk knocked my on the floor trying to catch some dumb ball.

"Ouch! What the hell? Can you watch where you're going? You're such an ass" I yelled rubbing my already hurt ankle.

"Damn. I'm sorry beautiful. I didn't see you there." He said with a smile that made me regret yelling at him. As he helped me up and picked up my books I couldn't help picture me licking those plumb lips of his. Whoa, where did that come from?

"It's okay. Sorry I yelled." I said sheepishly.

"No harm done. I hope I see you around beautiful" He winked and left after his friends were calling him over. I stared after him. He was like no one I've ever seen before. Come to think of it I've never seen him before, which made me wonder how he made friends so quickly. Then again maybe he wasn't new seeing as I was basically in a coma for the last three months. Either way I wanted to be his friend. I was drawn to him without realizing it.

End of flashback

I had just pulled up in front of the house when I seen all the clothes Alice and Edward gave me sitting on the front porch in bags.I forgot I had to take those to good will. I also have to pick up more clothes seeing as that was basically my entire wardrobe in those bags. I threw the bags in the bed of the car and got in. I knew that once I got in that house I was not coming back out.

As I drove to Port Angeles I started thinking about what my style was. I wasn't a dark colors kind of girl, but I appreciated black, deep purples, and reds. I wanted to get happy colors to symbolize my new found happiness. I pulled in outside of this urban store called Akira. I've never heard of it, but from the outside it looks like something I want to experiment with. I wasn't much of a shopper so I just picked thinks that felt good, were fitting to my body without showing my bones that were protruding, and that were fashionable.

My favorite outfit I chose was this black off the shoulder dress that reached a couple inches above the knee. The sales lady said it was a body-con dress which meant it clinged to your body. I was skeptical at first being I didn't want it to be known how skinny I was, but after I put it on it showed everything that was meant to be seen. My shoulders where out in an elegant way, body looked toned as if I've been working out which we all know isn't the case, and my legs look like they went on for miles. I also paired this outfit with some yellow open toe strappy heels. I was scared to wear these, but again the sales lady said they were easy to walk in. She went on about how clumsy she is and how she barely trips in these heels. I think she just wanted my money.

"Your total is $350.74. Would you like to get an rewards card with us today and save 10%?" This beast asked. What the hell did I buy for it to be that much? I have enough to pay it , but my goodness.

"Yes please." As I gave the lady the necessary information I was relieved that it dropped to around $315, but not as relieved as I would have been if it was free. I like this store, but I need to find something cheaper with the same style.

On my way home I decided to cook Charlie a big dinner and started to head towards Walmart. While there I picked the ingredients I needed to make Grandma Swans famous chicken Parmesan recipe. At the last minute I remember my acne and went into the beauty aisle. I wasn't an expert on facial washes, but I have heard of clean & clear. So, I chose to get the deep cleaning exfoliate one. I honestly got it because it was blue I have no idea if this is really going to work. Then I picked up some facial cream because you're supposed to moisturize after you clean your face.

"What do you recommend for very tangly hair? Also my hair gets really dry." I heard as I was walking past the hair aisle. I listened for the answer and got the same products she did as well as some extra because it said curl activator and my natural curls could use some help.

When I walked into the house Charlie was sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching the game. "Hey dad. Can you help me with the bags? " I said struggling to get in the door with my still sore ankle.

"Yea okay. Sorry honey." He said pausing the game. While he went to get the rest of the bags I started to put up the food and start cooking.

"I see you went shopping. I thought you had a closet full of clothes and how much were the groceries so I can give you the money back?" While he said this he was looking me with so much pride I nearly cried. I guess I put him through a lot in the last couple months.

"I did, but I realized all of those clothes were something the Cullens gave me and I don't want any memories of them. The groceries were $150, but you don't have to pay me back."

"I understand. If I ever see Edwin again I'm going to tear him a new one and then shoot him because I felt like it. Bella I'm the parent, not you. I'm not your mom you don't have to take care of me. It's my job to take care of you. I will be giving you the $150."

"There is no use for that dad. I'm over it, you live and you learn. Thank you dad." I said getting a little emotional. It's no secret that Renee wasn't responsible. I was the one balancing her checkbook, keeping the food in the fridge, and making sure the bills were paid. Charlie was barely around, but at least he's trying to make up for it now. Maybe I should stop calling him Charlie in my head then.

"I love you kiddo" he said basically running out the kitchen. He's not good with emotion so him saying that meat a lot.

"Love you too dad." I yelled back just to make him even more uncomfortable. I turned around started preheating the oven and getting everything ready for dinner, chicken Parmesan with a light butter pasta, and a side salad. I want him to start eating better and I want to start eating period.

As the food was cooking I started putting away all of my clothes and even got excited and looked to see what to wear the next weather said it will be an usually sunny day of 77℉. With that being said I was excited to wear something new and fun. I decided to go with some black biker shorts with an over sized red,black, and white race track t-shirt and some sandals that had the same colors as the shirt. I checked the timer on the food and seen that I had twenty more minuted until I had to start on the salad so I pulled out the hair products I bought earlier. I bought shampoo, conditioner, styling gel, curl activator, and some coconut oil. I never had so many hair products. I used to have shampoo/conditioner in one. I decided to wait on doing my hair until dinner was done because this mess was going to take a lot longer than the fifteen minutes I had left.

I was watching a YouTube video on how to use each product and what style would look good. Once I wrote down anything I would forget and memorized the video my alarm went off. I went down to finish everything I had to make for dinner and called Char-Dad in.

"This looks great Bella. Glad to see a smile on your face." He said handing me the money for the groceries I bought earlier.

"Thanks dad." We ate in silence. As quick as I was eating I wasn't going to be able to get a word out anyway.

"Whoa. I'm glad to see you have your appetite is back." He said smiling a soft smile.

"Mhm." Was all I could get out before I shoved more pasta in my mouth. Once we were done eating Dad offered to clean up seeing as I was the one to cook. So now it was time to tame the beast.

I stood in the mirror and took out the bun I created earlier to see the bird nest on my head. Step one use conditioner to detangle so it doesn't hurt. As I struggled to get these knots out of my head from neglect I got extremely frustrated. It hurt so bad, I couldn't imagine how it would feel if I didn't use conditioner to help. Thirty minutes and a giant hair ball later everything was detangled. I cut on my shower taking the bottle of shampoo with me and started shampooing my roots and working it down my hair like she said in the video. Step three after shampoo leave conditioner in for 15 minutes. I took this time to do anything else I needed to do in the shower. Once I was done with that I rinsed my hair out and got out of the shower.

I wrapped my hair in an old T-shirt because apparently towels cause split ends or something. As I waited for my hair to do it's thing I used the coconut oil all over my body using only a dime sized amount. My skin couldn't have felt better. She was right. I need to subscribe to her. I put on my normal pajamas which were an over sized T-shirt that went to my knees and some underwear. Then I used the face wash I got from the store. It had a cooling sensation, but I was okay with it. After following the directions I decided to start on my hair.

Step four finger detangle and add in curl activator. Okay. Step five add in quarter sized amount of coconut oil and scrunch hair. What is scrunch again? Oh right. Step six add in gel and scrunch then braid or twist to keep together for the following day. Done. I said looking in the mirror pleased that I was able to do it. New Bella coming through.

I sat on the bed playing a game on my phone when I seen a text with a picture of me in this same position with the words I didn't forget. I looked up, but seen no one there. I slowly walked closer to the window just in case and seen absolutely nothing. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep.