A/N- I am writing this is GCSE I.T class.... yes that's right. I am gifted
with an education and what do I do? Squander it. Still, who cares? What
goes around, comes around.....god, I really need a wee......
Selecting the Group
It had been a week since Aragorn and Legolas had come up with the stripping plan, and the day of the auditions in the Prancing Pony had dawned. Barliman (the landlord) had been good enough to close the Inn for the day, so the auditions could go ahead interrupted, and a queue of men, elves and dwarves stretched down Bree's main road and into the distance. Aragorn and Legolas were sat behind a large table in the middle of the bar, holding clipboards and managing to look like Pete Waterman and Nasty Nigel all at the same time.
Aragorn- ''First person please.''
The door creaked open and in walked.......Elrond
Aragorn (mumbling)- ''Fantastic. Our first auditionee is my Father in- law.''
Legolas- ''Elrond....what can you do?''
Elrond- ''Well, I can get me kit off if that's what you mean.''
Aragorn- ''What about dancing?''
Elrond- ''My disco days are probably over....but I can still do the funky chicken.''
Aragorn- ''Right. Music please!''
Legolas pushed a button on the tape player and suddenly ''Bob the Builder.....Can We Fix It.'' came blasting out
Legolas- ''Er.....sorry. Wrong tape.''
Legolas fiddled around a bit more and eventually the sound of Tom Jones' Sex Bomb could be heard
Elrond was right. His disco days were over. He did a few 'Funky' moves, and then stopped, complaining of a dodgy hip
Elrond- ''I'd go on....but I am over seven million years old.''
Aragorn- ''Thanks. We'll be in touch.''
Elrond leaves
Argorn (to Legolas)- ''Put him down as a maybe.''
Legolas scribbles something down on his clipboard
Aragorn- ''Next!''
In walked...Gandalf
Legolas- ''No offence Gandalf....but we're looking for strippers.......who are, able to stand the pace.''
Gandalf- ''I know I may look like an old man, but I'm sure I can keep up with you spratts.''
Legolas- ''Actually, I'm older than you.''
Gandalf- ''But your immortal.''
Legolas- ''Good point. What have you got for us?''
Gandalf- ''Music please!''
Legolas switched on the tape player again, and Gandalf waved his hands around and pointed his toes about a bit, then Aragorn stopped him
Aragorn- ''Don't call us...we'll call you.''
Gandalf leaves
Legolas- ''Don't tell me....put him down as a 'Definately Not'?''
Aragorn- ''You got that right.''
The auditions lasted all day, and the talent wasn't of a very high standard. When they had seen every auditionee, Aragorn and Legolas discussed their Maybe's over a pint, and evetually decided on their starring line-up....
Elrond
Eaomer
Faramir
Bilbo
and themselves, of course
Aragorn- ''So, now what do we do?''
Legolas- ''Dance rehearsals of course!''
Aragorn- ''Oh god!''
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Selecting the Group
It had been a week since Aragorn and Legolas had come up with the stripping plan, and the day of the auditions in the Prancing Pony had dawned. Barliman (the landlord) had been good enough to close the Inn for the day, so the auditions could go ahead interrupted, and a queue of men, elves and dwarves stretched down Bree's main road and into the distance. Aragorn and Legolas were sat behind a large table in the middle of the bar, holding clipboards and managing to look like Pete Waterman and Nasty Nigel all at the same time.
Aragorn- ''First person please.''
The door creaked open and in walked.......Elrond
Aragorn (mumbling)- ''Fantastic. Our first auditionee is my Father in- law.''
Legolas- ''Elrond....what can you do?''
Elrond- ''Well, I can get me kit off if that's what you mean.''
Aragorn- ''What about dancing?''
Elrond- ''My disco days are probably over....but I can still do the funky chicken.''
Aragorn- ''Right. Music please!''
Legolas pushed a button on the tape player and suddenly ''Bob the Builder.....Can We Fix It.'' came blasting out
Legolas- ''Er.....sorry. Wrong tape.''
Legolas fiddled around a bit more and eventually the sound of Tom Jones' Sex Bomb could be heard
Elrond was right. His disco days were over. He did a few 'Funky' moves, and then stopped, complaining of a dodgy hip
Elrond- ''I'd go on....but I am over seven million years old.''
Aragorn- ''Thanks. We'll be in touch.''
Elrond leaves
Argorn (to Legolas)- ''Put him down as a maybe.''
Legolas scribbles something down on his clipboard
Aragorn- ''Next!''
In walked...Gandalf
Legolas- ''No offence Gandalf....but we're looking for strippers.......who are, able to stand the pace.''
Gandalf- ''I know I may look like an old man, but I'm sure I can keep up with you spratts.''
Legolas- ''Actually, I'm older than you.''
Gandalf- ''But your immortal.''
Legolas- ''Good point. What have you got for us?''
Gandalf- ''Music please!''
Legolas switched on the tape player again, and Gandalf waved his hands around and pointed his toes about a bit, then Aragorn stopped him
Aragorn- ''Don't call us...we'll call you.''
Gandalf leaves
Legolas- ''Don't tell me....put him down as a 'Definately Not'?''
Aragorn- ''You got that right.''
The auditions lasted all day, and the talent wasn't of a very high standard. When they had seen every auditionee, Aragorn and Legolas discussed their Maybe's over a pint, and evetually decided on their starring line-up....
Elrond
Eaomer
Faramir
Bilbo
and themselves, of course
Aragorn- ''So, now what do we do?''
Legolas- ''Dance rehearsals of course!''
Aragorn- ''Oh god!''
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