Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 2: Magic

Before Merlin could find the words to explain to her what he was, Morgana spoke.

"I doubt that," Morgana said skeptically. Merlin could understand her hesitance to believe him. Earlier that night he had told her that he didn't believe she had magic.

"You'd be surprised," Merlin said softly. He took a step towards where she was sitting on her bed. "I understand – I mean I realize–" Merlin cut himself off. He closed his eyes. He was tired of lying. If he withheld the truth for Morgana, he might send her to a place from which she would never return. Merlin tried to picture her, her features twisted with hatred and revenge. He tried to picture a Morgana that was seeking vengeance for all those who turned their backs on her when she needed them the most. He never wanted to see that happen. Merlin didn't know what would happen if he told her, but he knew for sure that if he concealed his powers from her, she would come to resent that. She would never have someone to help her understand her powers. She would lose the goodness that makes her Morgana. Merlin would rather die than see that happen. No matter how much danger it would put him in, and no matter the danger it put her in, she needed to know. "No. I understand exactly how frightening this is for you. Especially for you."

"How could you understand?" Morgana asked bitterly. "And what do you mean especially for me?"

"You're the king's ward. You know his hatred of magic better than anyone," Merlin explained.

There was a moment's silence as Morgana processed his words. She stood up out of her bed and looked at Merlin, a new found hope present in her face. "That's what you think has been happening to me? The dreams. The fire… The pitcher," Morgana said as she motioned to the recently shattered pitcher. "You think it was magic?"

Merlin nodded. "I know it was magic," he told her sincerely.

"But before… You said–" Morgana started to say. She wasn't looking at him as if she had blamed him for withholding the truth, more like she was trying to understand why he hadn't been honest with her.

"I know what I said," Merlin said, cutting her off. "I lied. I was scared to tell you the truth. I thought if you knew the truth that… I'm not sure." Merlin let out a frustrated groan. He was awful at explaining himself. "I didn't know what would happened and that frightened me."

"Why would you be scared?" Morgana asked skeptically. "You're not the one that has magic."

"I do though," Merlin whispered. "I do have magic." He knew that the moment was right. He would not lie to her anymore. He would let her see him for who he truly was.

Merlin felt as if every second that passed was an hour as Morgana considered him. When she finally broke the silence, Merlin was shocked by how angry she sounded. "Do not taunt me Merlin," Morgana warned. "Haven't I been through enough? I don't need you to poke fun at what I am."

Merlin studied Morgana for a moment. She was a stubborn person. If she believed he was making fun of her, no words would change her opinion of that. He didn't know how to convince her he was being serious. He could only think of one thing. He would have to show her. Merlin mentally prepared himself for this.

Merlin looked toward the fallen pitcher. He extended his hand and closed his eyes. He didn't want to see her reaction. He wanted to prolong that moment as long as possible. "Grith faestne mid thisse," he whispered. He didn't open his eyes. He knew what would be happening. The pitcher that Morgana had accidentally shattered with her magic would be fixing itself. He could hear the clink of the pieces as they flew back together and mended the pitcher. He waited. There truly was no going back from here. Morgana knew about his magic. He only hoped that this wouldn't come back to hurt him.

Merlin nearly stumbled backwards a step when something warm wrapped around him. He opened his eyes to see Morgana holding him as if her life depended on it. Her head was buried in his shoulder. Merlin stiffened, uncertain what to do. He wasn't sure why Morgana was crying right now. He hoped he hadn't done anything to upset her. Eventually he awkwardly patted her shoulder.

"Morgana?" He asked tentatively.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. When she picked her head up, there was a small smile across her face. "I'm just so happy. I'm not alone." Merlin let out a sigh of relief. She wasn't upset.

"No, you're not alone," Merlin agreed with a small smile. He gently kissed her forehead. It felt right for the moment.

Merlin held her for another moment. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I was scared," he whispered to her. With the darkness that surrounded them, it was easy for him to be honest with her.

Morgana pulled back. He could faintly make out her expression in the moonlight that cast shadows around her room. "Why would you be scared?" Morgana asked him. "You have nothing to fear. I would never say anything about your powers."

"That wasn't what scared me," Merlin whispered. "Morgana, we are friends. Knowing something like this, it isn't safe. I didn't want to risk hurting you or putting you in a position where you would have to lie for me. It wouldn't have been fair to you."

"I know you would never hurt me," Morgana told him. Her eyes caught Merlin's and he couldn't help but notice the sincerity in them. "And I hope you know that I will never betray you. Your secret… it's safe with me."

Merlin nodded, a small smile on his face. "I know," he told her.

Morgana yawned, reminding Merlin of the late time. "You should get to bed," Merlin told her gently.

"It would do no good. I'll just be awakened by another nightmare," Morgana said dejectedly.

Merlin looked at Morgana, trying to find the words to console her. His eyes landed on the silver pendant that always hung from her neck. Merlin knew it had been a gift from her father when she was younger. Morgana never took it off. Looking at the small trinket, Merlin was struck by a burst of genius. "Give me your necklace," he told her.

"What?" Morgana asked incredulously. Her hand wrapped around her necklace protectively.

"I'm going to enchant it with a healing spell. If I do it properly, it may help you sleep," Merlin told her. He wasn't sure if it would work. He had studied the spell, but without someone that actually needed it, he wasn't sure if he had done it correctly.

Morgana hesitated before she took the necklace off and handed it to Merlin. "Gefultuma hie paet heo onslaepe," Merlin whispered. He focused, willing his magic to flow into the necklace and protect Morgana through the night.

The necklace glowed red and hot for a split second then returned to its ordinary color. There was nothing about it that would suggest it was imbedded with magic, but it should keep her from having nightmares.

Merlin handed it back to her. He watched as she put it around her neck and refastened the latch. He felt like he should say something else, but he didn't know what to say. After an awkward silence, he nodded uncomfortably. "Right… Well… Night," he said quietly.

"Goodnight Merlin," Morgana said with a fond smile on her face.

"Night," Merlin repeated softly.