2. Different tears

It feels like I'm traveling the walk of shame. Everybody knows where I'm going. To her room. None of them blames me, but they know I blame myself. So much. As I'm going up the stairs, my head replays the scene on Mustafar. Like it have done it a hundred times each day when I was alive.

"I don't know you anymore. Anakin… you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow!"

The last step.

I called her a liar. How could I be so blind? If she loved me just half as much as I loved her, she would do anything for me. And I know she loved me. The real question now is does she still love me? For me, it seems impossible. You can't love a monster.

Almost at her door.

But I didn't do it. It was all Vader. The dark me. Does Padmé see it that way? I can't allow myself to think like that. It's my fault she's suffering in a place there should be meant for joy.

Stop.

It's now. Her door is right in front of me. I cannot live, or whatever you say when you're dead, with myself if she denies me. Slowly, very slowly, my mechanical hand knocks the white wood. Short after, I hear a hard thing hit the door. "I said you should stay away from me Obi-wan!" The voice is sobbing, but I recognize it immediately. I would recognize it anywhere. "And Shmi, if it's you," the voice continues. "I'm sorry but I don't want to talk to anyone right now." She starts crying again. That's it. I can't stand it anymore. A little pray to the force leaves my mouth, and I grab the doorknob. It isn't locked. Weird. I go in and the door closes behind me.

The room is pretty, but messy. Books are lying on the floor along with clothes, pillows, pencils and many other things. A shoe is at my feet and guess it's the one she throw at the door. The big curtains are ripped to pieces, and are hanging crooked. Out on the balcony is Padmé lying. She cries and do not see me. After 23 years I finally get to see her. My beautiful wife. I don't know what to say. She's still doesn't look up, but continues crying. "G-guess who…" I say softly. We used to do that, in the times of the old republic.

I sneak up behind her and cover her eyes with my hands. "Guess who." Padmé laughs.

"Is it a Jedi?"

"Yes."

"Is it him they call the Chosen one?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Is it Yoda?"

I laugh and kiss her hair. "No, but it's a good guess. Let me give you a hint." I turn her around and we kiss.

Padmé stiffens, and looks up. "Anakin?" She gets on her feet and run toward me. "Anakin, Anakin, Anakin, Anakin, Anakin!" Then I feel her soft touch as she runs into me. I wrap my arms around her and swing her in a big circle. Oh, I missed her. All my pain goes away in a second. Then we kiss with a passion build up over 23 years. She run her tiny fingers through my hair, and my hands finds their way to her lower back. We stand like this in a very long time before we break apart. "I missed you so much!" Padmé says with tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks. "What happened?"

"Our kids saved me. Palpatine was about to kill Luke, but I couldn't let him do it. I just… couldn't. In that moment, Darth Vader died. I killed Palpatine, but it cost me my own life." Deep breath. "But how did they save Luke and Leia? I thought I killed you on Mustafar…"

"I was fine, but I wouldn't go on anymore. Not without you. So I lost the will to live. They saved the children in an operation, and then I died, trying to convince Obi-wan that there was still good in you. I was right."

I can no longer hold the tears. "I thought you would hate me. After all you have the right to it. I was a monster to you." I look away, but Padmé just kisses me again.

"I could never hate you, Anakin. I love you. More than you'll ever understand."

I kiss her soft lips once again. Actually, it was my plan to ask her if she wanted to go outside, but as she slowly pulls of my Jedi robes, I forget about that plan.

Padmé hesitates. A smirk appears on my face, and I take her hand. "Come on. There is nothing to be afraid of. I'll protect you." She laughs and says, with a formula voice: "Well alright. As long as you stay by my side, Master Jedi." Then we go out the door.

Padmé hasn't been outside her room in over 20 years. And non-forcesensitive people can't travel to the land of the living alone. So one of my top things on my to-do-list is to visit our children, and introduce them to their mother. I know we can't live together as a normal family, cause me and Padmé are dead, but at least we can visit them once in a while. And we will always watch over them.

Before I take my wife to her kids, I want her to meet my mother. Maybe they have talked through the door, but that isn't a real meeting. "Is that Shmi?" Padmé ask when I point my mom out in the great hall. I nod. "Mom, come and meet my wife." My voice is full of happiness, when Shmi walks towards us and give Padmé a hug. "Ani, you have picked the most beautiful bride in the entire universe," Shmi says, smiling

"And Ani, you have the kindest mother of all," Padmé response, more to my mother than to me.

Giggling I suggest we go get something to eat. None of us needs food or sleep, but its heaven. Of course we can get food ad beds anyway.

We all go to the dining hall, and eat the most amazing food. Padmé is happy to see all of her friends again, and I am too. After we've said goodbye to Shmi, we run into Master Yoda, Windu, Mundi, Shaak Ti and some other members of the old council. "Good to see you again, it is Padmé," Yoda says. She's a kind creature, so she smiles back and compliments the Jedi Master. I look at Yoda and then Padmé and then Yoda again. "Master," I say. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Padmé. And I'm sorry I broke the code, but I love her. Nothing can change that." Man, it's good to have said that. Yoda nod and smile. "Talk about that with you, we were going to do. In the new order your son is building, changes there have to be. Maybe love, one of them is."