Fucking Harris wouldn't say a word about what was wrong with Buffy in all their travels. And Spike could see the git enjoyed watching him stew in his worries as he tried to figure out what in the hell had happened to keep Buffy in hiding.

Of course LAX had shut down when the apocalypse had started, so first they had a two hour drive to an airport, where imagine this-there was a private jet waiting for them. Which meant Spike could stop hiding under the blanket he had to take from the hotel since they were able to close all the little shutter on the jet windows.

After a day of quiet travels with the pissed off cyclops Spike found himself in the middle of-South Dakota? What the fuck was going on in South Dakota?

Harris drove up to the porch steps and turned off the car. "I'm giving you five minutes Spike, so you two can talk, and you can kinda... absorb. Now go."

Spike decided to ignore the fact that he was taking an order from Harris. The Prat. All that mattered right now was seeing Buffy, finding out what was managing to scare her into hiding so he could kill it.

He went up the porch steps and knocked on her door firmly, and when she opened the door his unneeded breathe stopped.

The most dramatic change was her hair. Those long golden locks he loved to play with were gone. It was cut so short it didn't even pass her ears, and it was brown. He realized it was her natural color, but a Buffy without her blonde highlights was simply unnatural. She wore plain and very conservative, baggy even, clothes and there wasn't a hint of make up on her. She didn't look herself at all, which he supposed was the point.

"Spike?" She stared at him, seemed to be in shock.

"Yeah Slayer, it's me. Could I come in? Harris said we can have a few minutes..."

"Um, sure. Come in." She stepped aside for him as he walked into her living room. "Spike, just... How? How are you here?"

"I got trapped in the amulet. It spat me back out after it arrived at Wolfram & Harts LA branch. We had our own Apocalypse, and Harris found me."

She paused, thinking her next question over. "When did the amulet get there? How long have you been back?"

He winced, wondering for a moment if his nose was about to be broken again, but before he could answer Buffy turned toward the back of the house.

"Hold on." She called back as she disappeared into what he figured was her room. She came right back though. Carrying a baby. A baby who looked to be screaming her head off, but no sound came from her.

"Buffy..." He breathed out her name, his body feeling numb as he watched her bounce and soothe the baby. When the little one calmed he could see bright blue eyes stare at him, and he swallowed hard.

"This is Joyce... We call her Joy though. It felt a little too weird to actually use my mom's name. I didn't think you would mind, since I know you liked my mom so much."

"She's mine?" He didn't look up from the small face as he took in her every feature, each budding detail he could see of the girl.

"She's ours."

"But how?" Now he looked at Buffy. "I'm a bloody vamp. I can't do that to you!"

"Well you did anyway... And it turns out there was a prophecy about it. Giles can't figure the whole thing out, but he did tell me he found something describing signs last year that she was coming. The the daughter of a slayer and a vampire would be born. That she has a destiny. But that's all we know."

It was all too much to learn at once. He was a father. Buffy was his daughter's mother. He had missed everything. He had a million questions.

"How old is she?"

"She's six months old."

"Oh god." He fidgeted, grabbed and pull his hair slightly as he turned about just enough to not be facing her. He couldn't bear for her to look at him in this moment. As he realized he'd been corporeal when his daughter was born. He could have been there. IT didn't matter that she was hiding. Angel could have given him Ripper's number. Even he would tell Spike how to find her if he had known .

"I was back before that. Before she was born."

"Oh... How long before?"

"A while. I was back as a ghost at first. Couldn't call. Couldn't dial a phone at first. But... I was solid for a about a month before then I think."

"Where you planning to find me. At all?"

He had to be honest. He couldn't have her know later he's lied. The Great Poof just might rat him out.

"No. I wasn't going to look for you. I figured you'll have been far past over me by then. I didn't rightly know if I could go see you and find you with someone. If I saw you and you told me you wanted me to go away. I decided it would be easier to stay away."

"You really didn't believe me then."

He turned back slightly and glanced up at her, eyebrow raised in question.

"When I told you I loved you. You didn't believe me... But I guess. Well, why would you, right?"

"You aren't mad it me?"He expected to be hurting a lot more after his admission.

"I kinda am, yeah. But I know it's not all your fault. I didn't give you any reasons to think it was true. I didn't do anything that should have made you want to find me."

"Buffy-" The car horn sounded from outside in three sharp blasts, and Buffy stopped to put Joy in a car seat.

"Sounds like it's time to go. Come on Spike. She grabbed her suitcase and a baby bag and went out the front door.

So he followed her quietly, cursing Harris all the more for the interruption.

The car ride with Spike was awkward and quiet. She wasn't about to keep talking in the car with Xander. But when they got onto the jet Xander was quick with the snoring. Apparently he's been up for at least the last full day.

So she was basically alone with Spike again. And she could tell he was trying to wait until she started them up again. He was smart enough to know she was upset.

She really was mad at the both of them. Mad at their entire situation. It wasn't fair. She spent so much time grieving for him, and it only got worse when she knew she was pregnant. When she held her daughter and knew that little Joyce would never meet Spike. And he'd been hanging around in LA with Angel.

It was even worse that it was her own fault he hadn't been there. She let him wear the amulet that killed him in the first place. She never told him how she felt before the day that he died. Why would her words have any weight when there was no way she would have to commit to them later?

"I meant it." She said softly, looking at him. "I meant what I said. I love you. If you still want to be with me, if you want to be with us, Spike... All you have to do is say so."

He moved to sit beside her and Joy. "You know I do. There's nothin' I could want more than to be with my girls. Keep you both safe from anything that might try to find her." He hesitated. "Why can't I hear her crying Buffy?"

"Oh, that. Willow has a spell on her so that only me and the rest of the Scooby Gang can hear her. That way if a fight came to us I could try to hide her. If I didn't make it the monsters couldn't follow her crying but one of them could. I have tri-daily check ins with everybody. I call Xander, Will and Giles every day so they know we're okay."

"Could you have Red Fix it? I want to hear her."

"I'm sure she would. I'll call her when we get to the house."

"Good." He hesitated, then he wrapped an arm around her, so she leaned against him. It's amazing how her whole world had changed in just a day. She wasn't sure what living with Spike alone would be like. It should be good for them. Her biggest reason to hold herself back from had been her friends. She had cared so much what they thought that she kept looking at Spike through their eyes rather than her own.

She turned in his hold, looked up at him, and kissed him. It was soft but deep, tender but desperate. She felt beyond desperate for the feel of him. Just watching him sit there without contact felt too surreal and dreamlike for her to really believe this day was happening. She needed this to be real.