As they approached the door, Clark allowed Perry to enter first, and perhaps break the news of their guest. But Perry White saw what he was doing, and grabbing him gruffly by the sleeve dragged him behind him into the house. Surprisingly, it was dark. Alice must have already gone to bed. Perry chuckled at Clark's dubious expression and at their temporary luck. He whispered conspiratorally with his employee. "You take the guest bedroom, Clark. If you need anything, I'll be out here on the couch."
"Perry, no. If you're not going to be sleeping in your own bedroom then you should at least have the guest bed. I can sleep on the couch- I can sleep on anything. You know me."
"And that's exactly why you get the guest bedroom. For some privacy. I may know you, but Alice sure as hell doesn't."
Clark realized he had once again lost out to his editor's quick wit and cringed. "Fine," he added tersely. "But I must warn you, I'll try not to make much noise but some things can't be helped. There's a window, correct?"
Perry nodded. "Another positive to add to the list."
Clark sighed and silently carried his bags to his room. So silently in fact that he had Perry wondering if the man's feet were even touching the ground.
Perry could have slapped himself in the face, except that would make more noise. They weren't touching the floor, of course.
He sighed after Clark had entered the spare bedroom and shut the door. He had hoped Alice would be awake so he could explain everything to her, but he supposed the news of their house guest would have to wait until morning. Loosening his tie and slipping off his shoes, he grabbed a pillow and a blanket and made himself as comfortable as possible on the couch in their living room.
Clark felt incredibly guilty staying at his boss's house, even if it was well intentioned. Clark didn't find sleep easily. He just kept replaying Lois's comment in his mind over and over again. That, and the fact that Perry White had finally figured out who he was. He allowed himself a slight chuckle as he recalled the look of shock on his boss's face, and the long conversation that had followed.
He still couldn't believe that he'd let himself to break down so easily. It was just so easy to confide in the man- the loss of his Kryptonian father had really been more of a blow on him than he'd expected, and it only brought back all of the fresh memories about his adoptive father's death, and everyone else he'd ever lost. Even though he was his adoptive father, Jonathon Kent was what Clark considered to be his real dad- which was why he found it so difficult to tear Lois and Richard apart, even after learning Jason's paternity. He knew that blood wasn't always thicker than water, and despite how much he just wanted to carry Lois off, sweep her off her feet, and profess his love for her: he couldn't cause that damage to Jason- or even Richard. After all, the man had only done what his own father had: he cared for Jason as though he were his own. Lois was right: Richard was a good man.
No, he would let Lois make her own decisions.
But right now, that was killing him. Slowly, painfully killing him. Perry had been on the nose about the whole eating kryptonite thing. It wasn't as quick or sharp as the stab Lex Luthor had bestowed upon him- unconsciously he felt the still healing scar on his side- but it was just as biting. The look on her face when he begged her with his eyes in the elevator, the harsh words about his visits with Jason- even the not-so-subtle sign of her anger with him; it was torturous. She loved him. Once. No, he scolded himself. She still cares. Perry even knows it. Anger is a secondary reaction, and she's just hurt. That thought didn't really help the situation, knowing that things could have been perfect between them, and he'd screwed it up. He had hurt her. It's your own fault, you idiot. You're the one who did that to her. And then you screwed her over a second time by blind-siding her. It's not fair that Richard and Jason should have found out first. . . Suddenly Clark sat himself up in bed. He had to see Jason, just once more for the night. His was the only presence that could possibly soothe him in his chaotic state of mind. It would only upset Lois, he knew. But he didn't care right now.
He floated across the room, sped into his suit, and rushed out the window, careful not to make a sound.
Before he knew it, he was floating outside above Lois and Richard's house, despite everything inside him that knew it was a bad idea. Clark scanned the window, only to find in his sinking heart that it was locked. Lois held true to her promises. Sighing stirred the leaves in the trees around the house, and he carefully monitored Lois through the walls to see if she would notice anything suspicious, despite the fact that he felt guilty over doing it. She was asleep at her computer, always the hard worker. He smiled wistfully, before returning his attention to his son. His son. The words felt so good to say, even in his mind. Turning them over in his mind was calming, as was the soothing rhythm of his son's heartbeat and slow breathing. A smile overtook his handsome features as he closed his eyes for a moment, allowing the serenity of the moment to wash over him. Peace.
But it was not to last. The sound of screams for help tore his attention away; and slowly tearing his eyes from his son's sleeping form, he flew off to resolve what sounded like a bank robbery.
It was a long night for Superman.
After the robbery, the cries for help didn't seem to stop pouring in. A mugging, a car jacking, and a cat stuck in a tree- oh well. C'est la vie, Clark thought as he finally came back to Perry's place at around 4:45 and sunk into the bed. Deciding it was best not draw attention, he closed the blinds to the bedroom, and, hearing no more immediate cries for help and deciding Perry would kill him if he got no sleep after he even opened up his home to the man. If he had known that he had gone back to Lois's even after doing all the saving- just to fuel up on his peace for the night, Perry might literally kill him. Especially if said man had even been caught by Lois when she was outside taking a smoke. He groaned to himself, imagining what else he could have done other than give her a guilty smile and pretend to hear somethinig dangerous off in the distance before flying off. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms, fly off with her- even just stand there and kiss her gently. But it was not to be.
In his distracted state of mind, he didn't manage to escape one of his famous Clark moments, however, as he floated directly into the path of a desk chair. Cursing himself mentally, he made sure to actually use his visual skills to navigate the foreign bedroom landscape. And to try to stay focused at the task at hand: stay quiet as possible, and sleep. It did not take long in his incredibly sleep-deprived state for sleep to overcome his tired and weak frame, as he sank gently into the bed he had previously occupied only hours before, hoping he could get a decent two hours sleep in before having to get up for work.
*****S*****
Alice got up as usual at five forty-five am, the first rays of dawn creeping onto the horizon, and automatically went to the kitchen for a pot of coffee. After drinking about a half a cup her head began to clear up a little- enough to wonder where her husband was. Normally he came in and slept in the guest room, but usually he came in and at least tried to talk to her. That was strange, but on hearing the shower start up in their bedroom, she assumed he had just made his way past her in her early morning daze and went into their bedroom to shower. She shrugged. They had had a bad day yesterday. She had heard last night someone quietly moving around in the guest room, trying to be quiet but the loud bump he had made had startled her awake. It was about an hour ago now, and she couldn't quite figure out what had caused her husband to be moving about at that hour. Despite her recent spat with Mr. White, Alice found herself smiling into her coffee mug as she made her way across to the living room to turn on the television.
Her smile vanished the second she saw the pillow and blankets, along with her husband's tie discarded on the couch. But. . . Alice couldn't make sense of it. Someone was in the guest bedroom- she had heard it, loud and clear! It was as if a chair was knocked over. Fear snaked into her thoughts, and before she knew what she was doing, she found herself with a baseball bat in her hands slowly approching the bedroom door.
Thankful that the doors were well oiled and silent, she pushed it open slowly. Her heart jumped to her throat as she noticed a motionless figure lying on his side in the guest bed, sheets well tangled. Creeping ever closer, she struggled to keep her breath steady as she gazed wide eyed at the form as she got a better view of him. Obviously well-built, she thought, then chastized herself for such traitorous thoughts. That meant this man could easily take her if he awoke. Heart pounding, Alice squeezed her eyes shut as she raised the bat over her head and swung down with all of her might.
Clark's eyes shot open a millisecond before the bat connected with his head. Too late, he thought to himself as he felt it make contact.
Alice was scared to actually hurt him, but her instincts told her that beating the crap out of this guy would be alright. The only thoughts going through her mind while the bat fell were those of fear and determination.
Then, much to her surprise, the unthinkable happened.
The bat splintered into a thousand pieces the second it made contact with the intruder's head. Her hand throbbed with pain as the shock ran through the bat to her swinging hand.
Alice practically screamed bloody murder.
Clark spun around, eyes wide and alert as he jumped out of the bed to face Alice White. "Oh, crap!" he exclaimed with surprise. Not thinking clearly yet, he quickly took her arm and did a quick scan of her arm with his x-ray vision. Satisfied that there were no fractures or real damage done to his boss's wife, he turned to her and realized she was still shouting. "M-mrs. White, Alice- Ma'am, please," he said, switching into his most soothing Superman voice. "It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you."
She quieted her voice to a degree, but still appeared horrified. He held eye contact with her for a moment, and as she looked into his eyes, she suddenly shut up. His eyes. . . and his face. . . they were so familiar. . . they were. . . he was. . . "Superman?" she asked, still confused and a little scared.
He nodded to her question. "Are you alright Mrs. White?" She didn't seem to be focused on anything but his arm that held hers in a firm but gentle grip. She refused to let her eyes wander to his bare chest, though she did confirm the fact that his bottom half was fully clothed with a quick glance.
Suddenly a voice entered the room. "Great shades of Elvis, Alice! It's only Clark! I meant to tell you last night, but it was-" the second Perry stepped into the room he stopped in his tracks. It was not Clark standing before his wife, but Superman. A well-chiseled and half naked Superman, nonetheless, Perry noted with a slight frown. "Too late," Perry finished his statement previously, now finding it had even more of a meaning to the current situation they found themselves in.
Alice finally found her voice again, and put it to good use. "Clark? What do you mean? And why the heck is Superman staying in our guest bedroom? And why didn't you tell me?"
"Uh, did I say Clark? What I meant to say was, uh-"
"I-It's okay, Chief. She deserves to know- and I think she knows well enough now."
Suspicious, Alice narrowed her eyes. "Know what?" She glanced between the two men, wondering how it all fell into place.
Clark began with a gulp. "A-Alice- I mean, Mrs. White," he started slowly. "I didn't have somewhere to stay for the night. I'm waiting for some. . . i-issues to be worked out at my own place before I could get s-situated. It should be ready by tomorrow. Until then, Mr. White here offered me to stay here for a couple of nights. I-I-If I am imposing, i-in any way on you two, I will gladly take my leave here. I appreciate your guys' h-hospitality," Clark managed to stutter out in a very un-Superman voice. There was something familiar about it, Alice thought, but was too bewildered to put two and two together. Perry noted the stutter, and again realized that it was real. Boy, he really isn't comfortable telling people his secrets, is he? Finally, sighing (though controlling his breath better so as not to cause a storm of some sort), Clark stepped back from them. Suddenly, Alice White found herself shocked as Superman spun around at super speed and stopped, to show him standing in the iconic Superman outfit and cape. Then, with a slight smile, he spun again, this time stopping in civilian wear. A baggy jacket, unfashionable suit, thick dorky glasses. . . .
Much like her husband the night before, Alice couldn't get her jaw off the ground.
"Clark?"
He smiled sheepishly and pushed the glasses further up his nose. "Hi there, Mrs. White." Again there was that look down at his feet, before he looked back up to her for approval.
She remained flabbergasted. "Clark?" she repeated. "Clark Kent?" He nodded to her in the affirmative. Suddenly she turned on her husband. "And you knew this whole time?"
"Ha! Alice, if you thought I knew this whole time, don't you think I would've never let him leave, or brought him back here to stay with us sooner? I found out last night, when I caught him with his glasses off. That's why I didn't tell you we had a guest staying last night- I wasn't sure who he wanted to be staying as, and I was afraid you'd get it out of me. It's not my secret to tell." It was now Perry's turn to look bashfully at the floor in embarrassment.
The reaction Alice gave was far from the expected. She burst out with laughter. Alice began laughing so hard that she needed to sit down in a chair- the very one that Clark had knocked over the previous night- or rather, an hour or so ago. Finally collecting herself, she wiped at her eyes and patted her husband on the hand. "Thank you, dear. I needed that."
"Um, Alice?" he asked, slightly confused.
"Y-you're not mad, Mrs. White?" Clark asked, just as confused, though with a look of serious concern on his face.
"Mad? How could I be mad at anyone right now? My husband brought home Superman, and I broke a baseball bat on his head thinking he was an intruder! Not only are you Superman, but you're Clark Kent! Our friend! I don't think I've had this good a time in my life!"
"Uh, Alice?" Perry broached the subject carefully. "What about at me?"
"You? Oh, honey, I have the rest of my life to find reasons to be mad at you for. Hiding Clark's identity or even our fight yesterday about spending too much time at work- I can't be mad at you for that. Maybe later, but not right now. I mean, come on. You work with Superman, for Pete's sakes!"
Relief spread across Perry's face and he gave his wife a quick kiss on the lips. Clark smiled bashfully. Then Perry White frowned. "You really took a baseball bat to Clark Kent's head?" he asked, not hiding the incredulity in his voice.
She grinned and nodded. Clark laughed. "And, might I add, that if it had been anyone else you'd hit with that amount of force, you would've had 'im at the very least knocked unconscious. Unfortunately I'm stuck with the curse to be denser than steel, and wooden bats tend to have the opposite of the intended effect on my skull." Perry and Alice burst into peals of laughter. "By the way, if you'd like I can replace that. If I had been awake before she had come in I would have found some other way to handle the situation- and I probably would have managed to get my glasses on before she saw my face."
They continued to laugh. "Kent, I don't need you to get me another baseball bat. Even if it shattered, I'm sure I can find another one just as well as you can. I'm just impressed my wife's got such an arm. You should try out for the big leagues." Perry teased. She brushed off his comment with false modesty. Clark smiled at the scene, happy for the couple, but at the same time there was a pain that struck at his chest as he watched them. This was something he couldn't have. He'd lost that chance a long time ago.
Apparently, although Perry White wasn't paying much attention to him, Alice White could read the young reporter like a book. Instantly concerned, she let the mothering side of her take over. "Clark, are you alright? Is there anything you wanna talk about?"
Perry stopped to look at him, noting the sheltered look in his eye. "No," Clark protested in his best Superman voice, trying to throw her off the trail. "No, I'm fine."
"You don't look fine. In fact you look a little green," she hinted.
His blue eyes lit up in a flash of fear for a moment, then he realized what she was referring to. He practically heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, you meant that. No, I'm not jealous, and I'm not sick, either."
"What on earth did you think I meant?" she asked, confused about his sudden reaction. She looked at her husband quizzically, who just shrugged in return.
"Nothing on earth at all, actually. Let's just say green isn't my favorite color right now." He tried to offer a smile, but it turned out as more of a grimace.
"I'll say: the color doesn't suit you," Perry commented dryly.
Alice gave him a reproving look before nodding to Clark. "Alright, no kryptonite references. I just meant green as in jealous, you know, like Shakespeare? Do you want to talk about it?"
"I got what you meant from the green-eyed monster reference. But it's not something I want to talk about. Not right now, anyways."
"I will respect that," Alice nodded in sympathy, before rubbing her hands together and standing up. "Well, since we're all up and about ready now, how's breakfast sound?"
Clark took the road given as an escape. "Yeah, that sounds great. If you'd like, I can make it for us real quick," he added with a smile.
"Clark? You cook?" Perry seemed surprised.
"Hey, I may be a klutz sometimes, but I'm first and foremost a farmboy. And out on the farm, we do big breakfasts- enough to feed an army. Besides, it doesn't hurt to have. . . certain special advantages," he winked slyly at Alice. They made their way out to the kitchen, as Clark asked what they would want.
"Whatever your specialty is, Kent, we'll eat."
"To think, Superman's going to make our breakfast!" Alice exclaimed in delight. Though Clark had his back turned as he pulled things out of the refridgerator, she could see his shoulders tense up once more. Shooting her husband another quizzical look, Perry only could roll his eyes and shrug his shoulders once more. He then mouthed one word: Lois. As things clicked into place in her mind, she got an "oh" sort of look, mixed with pity and a slight smile at how naive youths were.
During this silent exchange, Clark, finally ready, got started on cooking up breakfast. The Whites stared at him, then shared a few meaningful glances with each other as Clark Kent became a blur and the smell of fresh, home-cooked food greeted their noses. Gusts of wind could be felt stirring around them, too fast to determine the direction from which they were coming. In a few seconds, everything was cooked and on plates before them. Eyes wide and jaws hanging open, the couple simply stared at the abundance of food, gaze shifting between it, Clark Kent, and the now perfectly clean kitchen.
"How-" began Alice, but he cut her off.
"The bacon was the easiest. That I can just cook with my eyes for a second and get perfect. The eggs are a little tricky sometimes, but I think they turned out okay this time. And then, my best specialty: french toast." He grinned.
"I didn't think we had enough eggs for french toast and eggs," Alice mused.
"Oh, you didn't. I flew out to the farm for a second and picked up a few extra. Ma doesn't mind. And on my way back I happened to save a kid from getting hit by a car, too."
Perry blinked twice. "How did we miss all that?"
"Well, you were talking. Or gesturing. And anyways, it's easy for someone who breaks the sound barrier at least five times a day. And, though I never told anyone this, I've even crossed the light barrier once."
"That's impossible! I'm sorry, but even for you, as Superman. It's just not possible." Perry exclaimed.
"Not impossible. It becomes impossible to retain shape, yes, since technically you become light in a sense, and can then pass through solid objects. Or rather, kind of like a plasma material. I don't know how better to explain it without completely geeking out on the two of you." Clark's grin spread as they tasted the food. He was excited- it was rare when he ever cooked for other people. "So? The verdict?"
"Clark, this is amazing! It's so fresh! I love it."
"Mmhmm," Perry said, not wanting to stop too long between bites. "Great." He swallowed before continuing. "Although for the record, you could have fed us a shoe and we would have said it's great just because you're Superman."
Clark smiled and began to eat his own food, savoring the flavor of it. The eggs from Smallville were the best. Alice's next query however stopped him dead in his tracks. "So what were you doing at 4 am this morning? I heard a noise."
He swallowed, contemplating. "I had some things to do." He made a flying gesture with his hand.
"At four am? How long could it have taken? That had better be one heck of a story, Kent," Perry's tone was suspicious.
"Well, I mean, first it was a bank robbery and then carjackings, muggings, and whatnot. You know the usual. Nothing out of the ordinary."
Perry and Alice both stared at him dubiously. He sighed. A few people find out about his secret and there go all his acting skills. You lift the mask once, and suddenly the entire theatrical experience is ruined. "Now, Clark," Perry began in the tone of a typical father. "These night errands didn't happen to involve a certain Daily Planet reporter who happened to be very pissed off at you, did it?"
"Pfft, no." He paused, then mumbling under his breath, added, "Not at first anyways."
"Or her son?"
Clark looked as if he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "N-n-no," he tried but to no avail. He was aware when he had lost a battle, and Perry White was an award winning journalist himself in his day. It was no use hiding the truth. "Yes," Clark replied guiltily. "I couldn't sleep. I had to. . . see him. Check on him."
Perry White arched an eyebrow.
"What? It's the truth! I wouldn't lie."
"And yet here I am talking to Clark Kent about how shocking it is that he is Superman. Irony of ironies, wouldn't you say?"
"Perry, Lois kept her promise. The window was locked. I couldn't go any closer than outside the house. And I kept silent, then I heard screams and I flew off. It's not my fault I had to come and check on him again around four, and then Lois caught me."
"Clark, I told you, give her some space for a couple of days. She'll get over it."
"What if she doesn't?" Clark snapped without meaning to, but he was too upset to care enough to apologize. "What if she stays mad at me for everything and she never gets over it? What if she never lets me see my son again?"
Alice was thoroughly confused. At his sudden outburst, she practically choked on her french toast. "What? Son?"
Clark pulled at his hair out of frustration and groaned in rage. He shut his eyes tight so as to not accidentally light anything on fire as he turned away from the couple before him. They couldn't understand, they could never understand, and he could never explain it to them. Slamming his hand down on the counter with a little more than the necessary force, which shook the entire room a bit, he finally sighed. Plastering a very fake smile onto his face, Clark turned around and looked at them again, trying to give off the impression that he was calm. "I'm sorry. I'm fine now. Really."
They appeared slightly frightened. Alice didn't buy it for a second. The pain was hidden in his eyes, and she tried placing things in some sort of order in hopes of making sense of them. From what she could gather, Jason must be Clark's son. Which would explain a lot of the pained looks he had been giving them as he stared at them this morning- the reunited, happy couple. She realized he was upset that he couldn't have that with Lois.
Alice approached him, walking around the island and placing a gentle hand on his sleeve. Instinctively, Clark looked down. Realizing she had a lot of work to do if she wanted him to feel confident again, she decided it was time to send her husband to work. "Perry, honey, why don't you head on up to the Planet. I have a feeling that Clark here might need to be a little late today. I'll make sure he's there as soon as possible." Perry White gave his wife a wary look, knowing this could take some time and concerned that he might lash out- not at her, of course, but in general. She raised her eyebrows at him pointedly, and he silently agreed. Taking his leave, Alice finally spoke to Clark. "Come on why don't you sit on the couch. I'll get you something to drink and we can talk about it."
"I don't want to talk about it," he groaned, sounding like a moody teenage boy more than Superman. She dragged him by the sleeve off to the couch as he dragged his feet, but begrudgingly followed. He plopped down on the couch with a scowl on his features, not wanting to express his feelings on the matter for fear that they might come true.
"I don't care if you want to talk about it or not, you're going to. And that's final."
"Ugh, you sound like my mother," he scrunched up his face, but was clearly getting a little more comfortable.
"Good. I hope she can talk some sense into you, too, next time you see her. Now," she patted his leg and stared him in the eyes. "What's all this about Lois Lane and her son?"
Clark Kent removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Alice still couldn't help the shock she experienced over the transformation quite yet. "I made a mistake," he began slowly.
That shocked her more. Not just the fact that he, being Superman, had made a mistake, but rather what that mistake was. Was he talking about Jason? Did Superman just call his own son a mistake? How could he. . . "J-Jason?" she managed to stutter out.
The expression of horror on his face reassured her. "No! I would never- no. No! Jason's not what I was talking about. Jason's. . . he's. . . he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He's the most beautiful child I've ever seen. Jason's. . ." Clark practically choked on pride and happiness over his son. Alice couldn't help but notice the joy that occupied his visage and her heart skipped a beat at seeing it. There was no doubt that boy was his son- there was too much fatherly pride in his features to deny it. Not to mention the physical likeness. Clark let a small chuckle escape his throat. "Jason's my son," he finished proudly. "I wouldn't trade that for the world." Then his expression darkened. "That's part of what worries me."
Alice let him brood for a minute before pressing onwards. "Then. . . what mistake? You're Superman- you save the world on a daily basis, and you have a son to love- what could you have done wrong?"
He chuckled slightly. "Ah, how soon the world forgets," he commented quietly to himself. "My big mistake was in abandoning the world for five years. Not just the world, but Lois, and Jason," his voice shook with emotion. "I didn't even know about him before. . . before I left. If I had even the slightest notion that. . ." he stopped to bury his face in the palms of his hands.
Alice put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You had no way of knowing any of that. That doesn't make you a terrible person."
"Oh, it gets worse. Believe me. That time. . . when Lois and I. . . when Jason was conceived, Lois knew who I was. As in, I'm-Clark-Kent. I gave up my powers to be with her, but the world suffered so much without me- it was during the whole General Zod ordeal, and I had to get my father to give me my powers back. . . anyways, long story short, Lois was a mess. Suicidal, almost. She couldn't handle knowing who I was and what we had," he chewed his lip. "So I did something bad."
He sounded guilty, like a he'd been caught red-handed. Alice knew this would be painful, but prodded. "What did you do?"
He breathed in deeply before continuing. "I took her memories." He let that sink in before going on. "I kissed her and relieved her mind of having all of those awful memories. She was being used against me, as a hostage, and she knew my secret, and we were in love- I loved her too much to watch her suffer. After that, it was like nothing ever happened. For her anyways. But for me. . . I had never really had to be in physical pain before. I still loved her just as much, but she only mildly cared for me- Clark Kent me. I'm not so sure about Superman, but I think she still liked him well enough. Clark Kent went back to being just clumsy old Clark again, and she had no idea. It was killing me on the inside. When I found out about Krypton, and the possibility that it had been discovered, I ran. Partly for the hope of being able to have a home, but mostly to get away from the pain.
"As soon as I got there, soon as I discovered it was a graveyard, my stomach knotted up. I had nowhere. Nowhere to go, to run- no place to call home. I'd even abandoned the few I had here on earth- all for a crappy blown up piece of rock. You can't imagine how depressing a time it was for me. I was devastated. Finally I realized I had to come back.
"I don't know what I thought would happen. Logically I knew the world wouldn't just stand still. But part of me thought that nothing would change. I was dead wrong. The world had moved on- Lois had moved on. She had a child with another man, the world demanded that there was no need for a savior, and even my mother- she didn't move on without me, but she found. . . found another man to be with, her boyfriend. Not that I wasn't happy for any of the positive changes that went on- but part of me resented them for it." He smiled bitterly to Mrs. White. "How selfish is that?"
"Not selfish at all." Her reply seemed to startle him- obviously it was not what the man of steel was expecting to hear from the little old lady before him. "You've been among us for a very long time. You may be different, and by blood you might not be, but you are still one of us. You're more human than you realize, Clark. It's not selfish to want to be happy. It's human. And for the record, making mistakes is a human thing too. Why do you think we need you?" she smiled at him sweetly.
"But. . . I'm Superman. I'm supposed to save the world, show humanity the way of light, lead by example. . . it's not right for me to act like you. Not to sound like I'm condescending or anything," he added quickly, not wanting to offend. "It's just that I'm held at a different level than the rest of you. You could argue that it's a higher one, but in my opinion I'm the bottom-most rung on the ladder. N-not that I'm complaining. Superman would never complain about saving the world. I-It's just-" he struggled with his words, suddenly realizing how overcomplicated he was making things.
Alice smiled knowingly. "But you're not Superman, are you? You'e Clark Kent. You were raised here, by humans, in this world. It's only natural for you to have these doubts."
He nodded absently. "I know, I know. My mom tells me the same thing."
Alice let a small laugh escape. "Of course she does. You know, if every man in the world would just listen to the women in their lives, the world would be a better place," she nudged him slightly with her elbow, regretting it the second she did so. He really was like steel. "Look, I know your problem may seem unique to you, but it's the same age-old question we all have. Who are we, where are we going, did we do the right thing- it's all been explored before. Now you're just dealing with the consequences of your decisions, and you sit around moping because you've never had to before." He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up a hand to stop him. "I know what you want to say, just let me finish. What you need to do is just prove yourself to her again. She loved you before- she still loves you."
To this he scowled. "I don't know about that. Not after these last few days."
"You obviously know nothing about women. We tend not to 'forgive and forget' so easily. You're gonna need to bear it for the time being- but the longer you go, the easier it will be in the end. You're the father of her child: there's obviously something there."
He shook his head. "It'll be too late. She already has Richard, and they're engaged- he's your nephew! Doesn't that bother you, that I'm pining after your nephew's fiancee?"
"Richard's a good man: but come on, let's face it. If she loved him, she would've married him back when she was pregnant, or after Jason was born- or at any point during these last five years. I think even Richard recognizes that at this point. Point is, she was waiting for someone. For you. Even if she didn't remember, some part of her knew exactly what had happened. Besides, the man's practically your replacement. Dark brown hair, blue eyes- he even flies, for goodness's sakes. If that's not a type, then I don't know what is." She chuckled. "If she's waited this long for you to come back, then she'll keep waiting for you to sweep her off her feet."
The wheels turned in Clark Kent's mind. It couldn't be possible- could it? Lois Lane was waiting for him, for him to give her a reason to not get married? "I don't know," he mused dubiously. "She seemed pretty pissed at me last night- she even had the nerve to flip me off in front of Jimmy- and Jason! Then after she saw me last night at four am- I-I panicked and I just flew off the second she opened her mouth. I-I just couldn't handle anything else for the night. I couldn't take another one of her tirades- it was a long night last night. I just wanted to get here and get some rest. Now. . . I don't know if she'll ever forgive me. I broke her rules: I went to see Jason, even when I knew she locked the window to keep me out. And I haven't even told you about how she found out I was Superman this time around. Jason knew it first, and I told him to keep it a secret, and he did, but obviously misinterpretted when that applied, 'cause apparently Lois hadn't told Richard Superman was his father yet, and Jason pointed out to Richard that I, Clark, was his father, which was awkward, but then he confronted Lois with it and she told him it was Superman. . . and then all hell broke loose." Clark stopped himself from divulging everything. It became an ugly argument after that, and already it felt like he was rambling.
Alice pursed her lips. "Well, it certainly wasn't right to run off on her like that. If you had talked or explained yourself, maybe she would have been more receptive. And I'm not even going to pretend to understand what happened when you told them the truth. But it won't matter in the long run, so long as you do talk with her about it all- and soon. You've already lost over five years with the woman you loved, with the son you never knew you had. Don't waste a second more." She smiled comfortingly.
Clark thought about this for a minute. She was right. He didn't have time to waste. He'd lost so much already, running off on that stupid journey for five years- you selfish jerk, why'd you ever have to leave- he berated himself mentally. But Alice White was right. If he wanted a chance at even having a relationship with his son- let alone Lois- he would have to fix things.
His only concern was whether they were beyond repair or not.
"You're right, Alice," he sighed. "I need to get my act together." Clark gathered himself and stood up.
She nodded her head and smiled. "Now that's a good little superhero." She caught him rolling his eyes. How human, she mused before continuing. "You'd better get over to the office if you don't want Perry to skin your hide with a piece of kryptonite. Or Lois, for that matter."
He chuckled. "Thanks, Alice. I really appre-" suddenly he cut off and stood up straighter. A distant look crossed his features as he seemed to intently focus on something. Alice was confused for a moment. "I-I'm really sorry Alice. I gotta go."
"Go? Go where?" Her question was answered the second he spun around and appeared in his blue and red tights. He gave her a curt nod before taking off, leaving the papers on the table ruffling in the breeze.
"Wow."
A/N: Sorry it's taken so long! lots of tests and work to do, not to mention the rest of life. . . anyways, it's long, but I hope you enjoy it anyways! Next chapters wont be so long-winded, I swear!