Thanks everybody for the positive feedback and the reading!
As always, the TMNT are not mine – they belong to others who are looking the other way while I borrow them for my own purposes.
And now, back to the list!
The next day, Raphael found several sheets of paper crammed under the door to his room. After reading through twice, and sometimes laughing more than he would ever let Mikey see, he got a thoughtful expression on his face. "Time to pay it forward, eh?"
The List of Things Raphie Is Absolutely Positively Not Allowed To Do
Video games are only for advanced minds. You can't beat Mario Kart by mashing the buttons with your toes. Cut it out.
If you want to read Mikey's comics, read them. Do NOT insert pictures from women's magazines onto the pages. Devoted fans will never recover from the image of Silver Sentry's head poking out over the top of Brittney Spears' body.
Wrestling is either a spectator sport or you're in the ring. You can't be both at the same time, dude. Grabbing the nearest living thing and trying out a neat move on it is not polite, especially when the move involves breaking chairs.
Master Splinter says a sai is a weapon. I say it's definitely not a fork. Learn the difference.
Speaking of dishes, do not put your sai in the dishwasher – it upsets Donnie.
It's pretty funny when you pre-cut Leo's candles before a round of training, because he goes all "did I really cut that far off the mark?" but it also makes him neurotic. And neurotic Leo means more training for us. Give us a break, will you?
Your socks stink. Like really stink. Like rank upon rank upon garbage heap stink. They're killing rats in the hamper, and I don't mean sensei. So the kitchen table is not where they should end up. (Maybe you should ask Don to build you a radiation shelter for them.)
You're a turtle. You don't need to wear leather pants. It's just weird.
Rubbing another turtle's head for luck in battle is in bad taste.
Do not change Donnie's battle simulators to play the Mortal Kombat theme – yes, it's funny, but he's starting to wig out.
Just because they let you drive does not mean you are King of the Road, and the next time I have to listen to "Born to be Wild" on the way to an emergency, you're going to be King of the Walk Home.
Dressing your younger brother up as Dorothy just to make April laugh is not allowed anymore. Once was enough, and we don't talk about it.
Using action figures (they're in mint condition, dude!) to create a Zen rock garden in the kitchen is strictly forbidden.
Do not respond to Leo's requests by clicking your heels together and saying "Yes, My Colonel!"
No matter how much you want to, asking to go home early is not an option. If I have to suffer, so do you!
"What'd you think?" came a cheerful voice from around the corner.
"I think we need to spread the joy," came the sardonic, but wickedly eager reply.