HI PEOPLES!!!!! This is my first fanfic alone…sob, it's so lonely. Since McTully won't be here, I guess… I have to… start… the story.

NO FREAKING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will not write a fanfic with an opening of less than 50 words. IT DOES NOT HAPPEN!!!!

McTuly-sensei, YOU CAME!!!!!!

Duhhh, you can't write a fanfic without me! That, and I was sitting next to you and saw that you didn't include me, you know how I hate to be ignored.

Yes, and you know how I hate it when you take up all the dialogue!!!!

Ma bad.

You are forgiven.

Hey!!! That's my line!!!!!

Sorry.

You are forgiven my pupil.

Okay… so, can we do the story now?

Do you need my permission?

Yes. It's one of McTully's Laws of the Universe.

What laws?

The ones that you keep in your back pocket.

Oh… okay.

Okay kids, story time!

Ewwwwwwww.

SHUT UP!!!!!

"Wrath, I have some bad news."

"What is it doctor?"

"Wrath, you've been diagnosed with macrophiligiberitus!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wait, what's macrophiligiberitus?"

"It's a deadly disease."

"Are you sure you didn't just make it up for the sole purpose of this fanfic?"

"Uh, yes."

"Then NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! What am I going to do doctor?"

"Well, you're gonna' die." The doctor said… no more monkeys jumping on the- nooooo, I won't do it… no more… monkeys… jumping on the- no, think of happy thoughts, puppies, no. Ice cream, no, but close. Fat people falling over… nice! Okay, I'm done.

"Besides that."

"Oh, well I dunno."

"If only I could have seen her one last time…"

"Who?"

"Umm… you! And here you are, now all my dreams have come true!"

"YAYYYYY-"

"Now get out."

"Awwwww."

"So doctor, what am I gonna do?" Wrath yelled to the heavens.

"Wrath, I'm not in the heavens, I'm right here, and as far as the answer to your question, you're going to die, but the one comfort you can take is that you can order the people you love around mercilessly."

"I'm listening."

"Wrath, you're not thinking about doing that are you?"

"But you suggested it."

"Well I didn't think you would take it seriously." The doctor stammered.

"Oh, is me taking that seriously a problem?"

"N-no it's fine"

"Good, now get me a cookie, a really big one!"

"I'm not your slave!"

"Oh, so you think that getting a poor, terminally ill child a cookie beneath you? Is that it?" (THAT BETTER NOT BE IT!!!!!!!) Thus heeding the subtle warning from McTully, the doctor hurried off to get Wrath a cookie. "A really big cookie!" My bad, a really big cookie.

"Wrath, you okay?" Red Haired lad asked. Talking in 3rd person is FUN!!!

"Get me a bigger bed."

"I ain't your sla-"

"I'm going to die."

"I mean right away your highneeness."

"I love having power." Wrath said chuckling to himself.

"Wrath, what are you doing?" Ed asked, just now coming in because we need another FMA character otherwise it's not a fanfiction.

"I'm bending people to my will!" Wrath said cheerfully, explaining the Situation to Edward. Oh yes. It's capitalized.

"Wrath your crazy! That kind of thing only happens in movies and fanfics."

"SO!!!"

"SO!?" Ed yelled, "Do you want to tear apart the very fabric of time and space!?"

"Uh… yes?"

"… well… uh, can I help." Wrath, caught off guard, hastily agreed. Ed, hearing this response, skipped off into the sunset as free as a young school girl, which is odd because Ed is in fact a man… or is he?" (YOU BET HE IS!!! Do you have proof? Better, I have pictures! Perfect, just frickin perfect. Oh, no worries, I didn't take them… Winry did. Of course she did, of course.)

"Hello, I'm still dying here!" (AND YOU'RE ABSOLUTLY ADORABLE!!!)

"Thanks. Oh, wait, I see a light. Oooh, there's someone at the end… he's saying "Wrath you lazy bum get off my couch!" Hmmmmm, what could that possibly mea-"

IN THE PRESENT!!!!

"I SAID GET OFF THE COUCH!!!!!!!"

"Oh, Red Haired Lad, you've returned… where's my new bed?"

"What? Oh, you were having the 'I-have-a-deadly-disease-and-I'm-going-to-make-people-do-what-I-want' dream again didn't you!"

"Howgia guess?"

"One, McTully-sensei's tied up in the corner-"

"I DON'T MIND!!!!!!"

"I know you don't McTully. As I was saying, two, you have cookie crumbs all over you. Third and finally, you're Envy voodoo doll is strapped to a firecracker with a ridiculously long fuse."

"Okay, but how does that tell you that I was having the deadly disease dream?" Wrath asked.

"Oh, that's what you wanted to know, well elementary my dear Wrath… you were screaming 'AHHHHHHHHH, I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!' for the past four hours."

"Ohhhhhhhh. So how are we going to end the fanfic?"

"I GOT IT!" And the firecracker with the Envy voodoo doll strapped to it went of and flew into the night sky were it proceeded to explode in a fiery inferno of awesomeness. After said explosion Envy exploded too and everybody was happy.

Thanks for reading everybody! Hope you liked it! REVIEW OR I'LL SICK MCTULLY AND HER AWSOME STORIES ON YOU!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!