2. I couldn't face a life without your light

Hanging up to Penelope Garcia was like jamming a knife into his chest. Derek Morgan knew something was up with his baby girl. She had never sounded so hurt in his life, even though she tried masking it. All he wanted to do was fly back home to Quantico and figure out who hurt his baby girl, and if Tamara had talked to Penelope and said something to her about their little pet names for each other. It was all fun and games, but it felt like slap in the face when Pen said "his real baby girl." She knew for a fact she was his first and only baby girl, no one else, not even Tamara could take that place. He never referred to his girlfriend as baby girl that name was only reserved for Penelope Garcia; his best friend, and co-worker.

"Morgan?" a female voice pulled him from his thoughts. He tensed and turned around, shoving his phone in his pocket to see who was calling his name. He sighed when he saw the short blond behind him."JJ, don't do that. You caught me off guard." he rubbed his face.

"Sorry," she bit her lip. She knew something was up, or else Morgan wouldn't be so jumpy.

"Do you know what's going on with Garcia? She didn't sound like herself on the phone. She tried hiding it, but I could tell. She's always like an open book."

"That's our Penelope, but no Morgan I don't know." the blue-eyed profiler knew she was lying, but if Derek couldn't figure out that their Pen was upset about him being with Tamara Barnes then he didn't deserve to know. "I'll talk to her when we get back, but until then don't worry about it. What did you find out on Crawford?" JJ wondered.

"Well, Garcia's sending what she found, but apparently he's got a nice little wrap sheet: armed burglary, possession, with a bit of assault and battery." Derek listed.

"Sounds like the profile," JJ said and sighed."I'll go tell Hotch what we got, you just get your head in the game Derek. Pen can wait, this case can't." she reminded.

"I know, I just.. I can't help it. I'm worried about her.' Derek groaned, and rubbed his face.

"I know, just don't do anything stupid, and stick to the case." she spoke softly and walked away.

Morgan sat down outside to clear his head. He really wished he was home. He didn't want to be there. He hated that his and Penelope's friendship was falling apart. It was partially his fault for pulling away from her, but he just, well he didn't know what was going on with him. Everything was changing, and everything was going down hill so fast. He didn't know what was going on. He was reacting differently, hell it was the first time him and Pen bantered in a long time. It used to be they bantered every damn day, but now it was clearly non-existent.

"What am I doing?" he whispered to himself. He was losing his best friend, and he wasn't stopping it. How did things get so bad? He asked himself. Why did I let it get this far?

Six months ago...

"Can we talk?" he heard his baby girl's voice. Derek stopped, and turned around and looked at his blond, brown-eyed Goddess.

"Yeah, what's up Pen?" Derek asked and looked down at her. She looked so cute with her little black bow in her hair, her quirky glasses, the black shawl that hung over her shoulders and the white t-shirt. It was so Garcia, and that's what he loved about her.

"First off, I would like to say I love you, and I-I... the thing I love most about you is that you care about people..."

"Garcia, what's going on?" Derek asked frowning. He didn't know what his little computer genius was on about, but he didn't like it; not one bit.

"I think you need to cut contact with Tamara Barnes..." Penelope said bluntly and bit her lip as she played with the hem of her shirt.

Derek's frown deepened as he stood there and looked at Garcia more firmly."I didn't make contact with her, she came to the police station." he defended.

"Yeah, okay, now look me in the eye and tell me that when you get the first break in the case that you're not going to run to her and tell her the news yourself." Penelope pointed out and looked at Derek. She knew exactly what he was going to do. She wasn't stupid. She hadn't been volunteering to help families get through the grieving process for nothing.

"Penelope she just lost her brother; she just wants answers." Derek explained.

"Oh I get it, I volunteer counseling these families, I think I know what she's going through." Garcia spoke quickly, trying to be the voice of reason.

"Then where's this coming from?" he asked, his frown setting in more. Where was all of this coming from? Derek Morgan wasn't quite sure.

"Okay, let's just ignore the whole ethical dilemma 'cause that's just too, too big. Now, if you were to testify on this case; this whole thing would unravel if anyone found out that you were involved with a member of the victim's family."

Score! hree for me, and zero for Mr. Derek Morgan, Penelope silently cheered herself on as she concluded her brilliant point. Maybe now her lovely angelfish would listen.

"Okay, woah, stop." Derek shook his head and looked at Garcia seriously."I love you, and I respect you, you know that," Pen almost grinned, almost, until he continued."But right now you're way out of bounds."

Ouch. Knife right through the heart, Pen thought to herself as she looked at him shocked.

"I'm not involved." Derek threw the book down. He was done with their little heart to heart. Garcia stepped across that fine line. He then started to walk away from Garcia, hoping his baby girl would drop it.

But Garcia wasn't done yet. Oh no, she was on a mission."The team was here working on a case, and you're with her. You're involved."

"For your information, she lost it back at the station so I drove her home. End of story." Derek defended himself once more.

"But not for her Derek," Penelope sighed. She wanted to smack the gorgeous, stubborn, sculpted piece of perfection."She's so sad, and so confused, and so angry, and desperately looking for anyone to swoop in and make it all better. So unless you're all in, and going to be there through every stage of the grieving process, you're just giving her another reason to not trust the world." Garcia fought. She wanted him to see reason even if it was going to be the death of her.

"She's simply trying to understand why this happened," Derek was now defending Tamara. Garcia was far over the line and he wanted to leave it alone before he said something he was going to regret, but knowing his techie, she was going to keep going until she got her point across.

"There is no why, and she'll make herself crazy trying to find one!"

Present...

Sure he said they were good, but they weren't good after that, at least not completely. He was holding the event against her; even though, he didn't want to admit it. She was right though, he was now involved with someone from a case. Thankfully, the trial didn't last long since only one survived, and he had waited until after the trial to call Tamara for drinks. She was a nice woman, a gorgeous woman. His mother would like her, and maybe him and Tamara could have a life together, and maybe his mother would stop bugging him about grandchildren. But he couldn't see a future like that with her. The person he pictured bringing home to his mother wasn't the beautiful successful woman, who lost her brother, but the gorgeous light of his life; Penelope Garcia.

She was the first person he saw when he got back from cases, she was the first person he talked to on the phone when he arrived to his destination, she was the only person he got excited to hear the cheery voice. The ex-blond was his whole world, but she didn't want him like that. How could she? She had Kevin Lynch, well at least she did. Why their relationship fell through he didn't know, but he was perfect for her. The person she had most in common with, and they were happy. Well, at least it seemed like that to him.

Derek sighed as he looked at hiswatch and went back to the meeting room. They had a profile to give to the officers, and a case to crack. Sometimes he hated his job.