Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or The Emperor's New Groove
AN: So, originally, this was supposed to be a one shot. Now it's like...a prologue and a short story, I guess. This particular plot bunny appeared while I was trying to work on the next chapter for Baggage (which, by the way needs like three more reviews before I'll feel like I've had enough constructive feedback to post another chapter). The setting is pretty self-explanatory. Um, it does actually tie in with Baggage. I think any stories I write for A:TLA that I write will all be part of some little fanon that I'm creating in my head. I should mention that Lee is pretty much just an Earth Kingdom Kronk (the guy from The Emperor's New Groove) but much smarter. For some reason, I just see Toph marrying a guy who's super buff and tough but also very funny and charismatic and very much in touch with the more upscale aspects of life. I should probably also mention that he's the star of the Ember Island Player's revised version of The Boy in the Glacier. So, his friends are all part of the acting troupe. Here is a link to a youtube video of Kronk that I've been kind of using to help flesh him out: http:/ youtube .com /watch?v=BqF7JBlqkOA
Also, just as a side note, I can see how many hits my story is actually getting...it'd be nice if the hits to review ratio would kind of even out. I'd really like to get some feedback on what YOU think. Do you like the story? Is it believable? Do you think Katara is being unreasonable? Any feedback at all would really help me with future stories! And a HUGE shoutout to ASHRA BLITZGESCHWIND, KIMBERLY T, and STARPOCKETS! Thank you guys, for being my first reviewers! You guys are amazing and make me want to write more!
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Everybody was drunk. Oh so very drunk.
Except Aang of course. But then again, he wasn't there. The Avatar was very firm in the belief that substances that killed your brain cells and clouded your judgment were bad and should be avoided at all costs. He also had very little respect for people who actively chose to abuse the effects of these narcotics.
Which is why he was not very happy when Katara informed him that she had packed about a dozen or so bottles of her father's latest batch of moonshine, to share with their friends.
He hadn't seen his fiancee in months and the happiness he'd had when he first saw her had quickly disappeared. They were supposed to be on vacation, enjoying being back together. But this woman sitting next to him was someone he felt like he barely knew. They'd been arguing off and on pretty much since they'd left the South Pole and they were both beyond agitated. Originally, her bringing the alcohol made sense, really, it did. But two days of arguing over whether or not she herself would be drinking that alcohol had worn Aang's reasoning down. He was at a point now where he was almost okay with her drinking, if it meant she'd stop fighting with him.
Except he really didn't want her to drink.
"You wouldn't smoke opium would you?" He asked angrily as they landed on Ember Island.
"Of course not!" She exclaimed. "But there is a HUGE difference between alcohol and drugs!" She ran her hands threw her hair and took a calming breath. "I'm tired of fighting about this. Just please understand, if my dad can get this formula figured out, we'll have an actual export that'll bring in money for the tribe! Why wouldn't you want that?"
"Gee...You mean hunting down animals and selling their dismembered body parts isn't working out very well?" He asked sarcastically as Appa landed in the courtyard of Zuko's summer home. "Oh big shock! Maybe if you guys actually lived somewhere that wasn't impossible to live in, you wouldn't have to spend so much time trying to survive."
Katara felt as if she'd just been knocked over by a tsunami. This was the man she was supposedly in love with? She shook her head back and forth. This...there were no words to describe this.
Aang suddenly seemed to realize how hurtful his words really were. "Wait, no." He said, dropping the reins and grabbing her hands. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-"
But she had been too offended to listen. To even let him touch her. She shoved his hands away. "Don't." She said, still shaking her head. "Just don't. I just...I'm so done. Please don't talk to me for the rest of the time that we're here." She started to jump off of Appa's back, then remembered he was her ride home. "I'll sail back with Sokka. This is...we're done."
She took the box of yet to be named moonshine off of Appa's back and into the kitchen, where she was met with loud cheers.
"The booze is here!" He heard Sokka cry. "I hope this batch is better than the last one! I couldn't talk for a week, remember?"
"We should be so lucky." Zuko's grumble carried on the wind.
"Let's get this party started!" Toph bellowed. "Who brought shot glasses?"
Aang felt sick to his stomach. He knew Katara didn't really mean...There's no way...
He took a shaky breath and decided to spend the night somewhere else. It would give Katara time to cool off. Let her "test out" her father's latest batch of fermented root juice. The next day she'd be sick to her stomach along with everyone else and then she'd see he had only been trying to look out for her.
He nodded resolutely. They'd work things out tomorrow.
"Yip yip!" Aang said as he pulled on Appa's reins.
He was up in the air long before his friends thought to ask about him.
.
Under normal circumstances, when it came to alcohol, Zuko tended to side with Aang.
If decorum called for it, he'd have a glass of champagne or a few sips of sake but that was only if flat out refusing would be considered rude. He didn't think alcohol was "bad". It was an inanimate object. The results of inebriation were always completely dependent on the person drinking them. And while having a small buzz was enjoyable, drinking himself into a stupor was not something he'd normally condone. Zuko liked having complete control over his actions and a total understanding of his surroundings. Katara called it paranoia, Toph always made a joke about how relaxing would probably remove the stick from his ass, and Sokka would just shrug and claim Zuko's share. To Zuko, the potential risk of alcohol poisoning and large amounts of puking just didn't sound inviting.
Tonight, however, was an exception.
He was on vacation. A much needed vacation, that he'd been promising himself and his friends for months. Everyone was very firmly in agreement that he had been working way too hard. And this was the five year anniversary of their final showdown with his father. He needed to relax, have some fun. And more than anything, he need to forget about how a few weeks ago he had been dumped by his fiancee of...
"How many years has it been now?" He drunkenly demanded of the bonfire in front of him. He waved his fingers frantically in the air.
The bonfire waved back but was apparently just as bad at counting.
"It was a long time." Katara said with a nod. She was seated on a log, a safe distance away. Half a bottle of her father's moonshine was enough to make the sky start spinning and keep her firmly planted in her seat, but not enough for her to get too close to the fire or more specifically, the firebender in charge of it.
"Damn straight it was!" Zuko proclaimed grandly, as he pumped his fist in the air. "And she just left! She just...just left! Just like that! Just packed up and left! And you know, what?" He paused dramatically. "She said I was boring! And- and- and that I was too goody-goody and just...boring."
Katara frowned as she watched Zuko sadly slump down to the ground. "Well, obv...sully," Katara blinked then took a small sip from her bottle. The first five shots had burned her throat numb. She didn't even wince anymore. "Ok, obv…obvish…well, she... she just...she didn't know what she meant."
As she took another sip from the bottle, she remembered she was a waterbender.
And she was totally immune to fireburns.
The stupid bonfire could kiss her rear end. Maybe she and Zuko normally kept a respectable difference from each other but he was her friend, in need, indeed and she was cheering him up, dammit!
After another deep sip (To Friendship!), she felt brave enough to walk over. It was tricky with all the sand being so uneven and shifting under her feet but she managed to make it almost all the way over to his side. There was a pebble, however, that chose to prop itself precariously underneath her foot and Zuko just barely caught her before she fell face first into the fire.
"Whoa!" Zuko said, pulling her back by her arm.
She laughed and took that as an invite to sit in his lap.
"You sir," Katara said, squinting into his eyes. "You," Her finger circled the air in front of his face, trying to pinpoint his nose. "...are pretty bad ass. If anyone's boring it's…Aan—wait no." She frowned, trying to remember what she was saying. "Mai! Mai's dumb." Then as an afterthought. "So is Aang."
Zuko laughed and took the bottle out of her hand. "You almost spilled that stuff." He took a large gulp then turned and poured some onto the bonfire. "Bottoms up, faithful chum!"
The bonfire roared heartily at the toast.
"Hey!" Toph had made a small hole in the sand and they had assumed she was sleeping. "I want more too!" she cried, her head just barely poking above the ground.
Zuko hugged the bottle protectively while Katara placed her hands on her hips. "I gave you and Lee your own bottle!"
"Hubbykins drank it all." Toph whined. "Like fifteen minutes ago... I think." She sat up. "Or maybe he still has some left. HUBBYKINS!" She yelled loudly into the night sky. "I WANT MORE BOOZE!"
"Sure thing, babe!" The sound of her husband's deep baritone echoed around them.
The three benders glanced around them wildly.
"It's like he's everywhere." Zuko said in awe.
Toph plopped back down in the ground. "You guys have to find him. I can't see with all this sand spinning around everywhere."
Katara jumped to her feet, pulling Zuko along with her. "Come on Sifu Hotman!" She exclaimed, linking her arm through his.
Zuko frowned. "I'm in the middle of a very important conference." He waved the quickly emptying bottle towards the bonfire. He scowled as some more of the alcohol spilled out. "Stop hogging all the booze." He ordered the fire before taking another large swig.
"You're on vacation!" Katara pointed out, reaching for the bottle. "Not holding conferences with...bonfires." She glanced warily at the large flames. "No offense." She told it. She turned back and stuck her tongue out at Zuko. "Quit hogging! We're sharing, remember?"
Zuko held the bottle high above his head so Katara couldn't reach. "It's almost gone." He said with a laugh as she pulled at his arm.
"We'll get another bottle in the kitchen." Katara said. She tickled his side and with an annoyed snort, he lowered his arm so she could grab the bottle. "I brought like a whole case."
"Fine." He said with a sigh. "I guess Toph can have the rest of this one then." Cautiously, clinging to Katara so he could keep his balance, they waded through the sand to the spot where Toph was sprawled out. The waterbender took one last gulp then bent to hand the bottle to Toph.
He didn't know if it was the spinning sand or Toph's lack of coordination, it could have just been Katara's poor balance, but this time she actually did fall and Zuko fell right behind her.
The three friends laughed hysterically as they tried to figure out whose limbs were which. There was a lot of rolling in the sand, as they tried to get out of each other's way. Zuko got to his feet first and being the gentleman that he was, held his hand out to help Katara up and out of Toph's sand bed.
"Why thank you, Your Majesty." Katara said with a giggle.
"Think nothing of it, Master Katara." Zuko said with a bow.
"You guys are such idiots." Toph hooted. She managed to sit up and take the last sip of alcohol. "Ooh! That's the stuff!" She said with a belch. She fell back into her hole. "Now go find my hubbykins and tell him to get his fine ass over here. Mama wants some sugar!"
Katara giggled into Zuko's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist. "You heard the Melon Lord! Our services are requested!"
"We need to gather supplies first." Katara said seriously. "It could be a long and arduous journey. To the kitchen!" she proclaimed. She took a step forward and almost fell again.
Zuko grabbed her hips with both hands and pulled her back. "Um…I don't think you can walk very well."
With another giggle she wrapped her arms around Zuko's neck and jumped up. "Carry me then!"
He couldn't catch her and keep his balance. They both fell again and started laughing so hard, they were howling.
"You guys quit screwing around! I want my husband NOW!" Toph bellowed some three feet behind them.
"To the kitchen!" The two of them proclaimed and stumbling awkwardly to their feet, started making their way towards the bright lights of the Royal Summer Home.
.
"Oh, sweet Yui." Katara gasped out as she was slammed (fell?) back against a tree. The bark scratched at her back, and it felt like the base of her spine had cracked but it didn't seem that important.
What was important was breathing. More specifically breathing in the steam pouring in from Zuko's mouth as it pressed tightly against hers. He had her hands pinned above her head with one hand while the other traced down her arms, to her sides, then to her hips. She moaned and pushed her chest against him. She used her tongue to trace the roof of his mouth, then started sucking on his bottom lip. She wanted him closer and since her hands were stuck, she lifted a leg and wrapped it around him.
That seemed to be the cue he'd been waiting for. He let go of her wrists and used both hands to hoist her up higher against the tree. She had no choice but to wrap both her legs around his waist and cling to his hips as tightly as possible. Somehow, even with their tongues shoved down each others' throats, she was still making noise and it was driving him crazy. They ground into each other like repressed hormonal teenagers. Katara's hands tangled into Zuko's hair and he tightened his grip on her butt, his fingers digging into the thin fabric of her pants, just trying to push her closer against him.
She managed to untangle one of her hands so that she could grab his and place it on her breast.
"Mmm...harder." She murmured, squeezing his hand.
He wasn't sure if she meant the grinding or the squeezing, so he went with both and was rewarded with an even louder moan and a shifting of her hips.
"When did this start happening?" Zuko mumbled as he moved his mouth to her neck. Not that he really cared, he was too distracted with the complications of getting his hand under her shirt. But a small part of his brain told him he needed his story straight for when the Avatar showed up and leveled the entire island.
Katara, however seemed too busy moaning and rambling random spirits' names, to come up with an answer. She kept doing this thing with her hips and then her nails were digging into his back and she was sucking on his earlobe and then he really couldn't think anymore.
The final straw was when she bit down on his lip and did some weird origami thing to his tongue. With a sudden grunt (he and Mai were always quiet) and a burst of fireworks behind his eye sockets, he gave one final pump of his hips that slammed her so hard against the trees, she accidentally bit her tongue.
He buried his face in her neck as his legs became jelly and he collapsed against her. Without his help to support them, she started sliding down the tree. This time, she could actually feel a sharp pain as the tree bark scraped against the skin of her back.
She sighed in irritation. "Zuko!" She winced and tried to unwrap her legs. "We're gonna fall."
That seemed to snap some sense into him. He stiffened his legs and pushed her further against the tree. "Don't move." He growled. "I need a minute."
"I'm pretty sure my back is bleeding." Katara said. "Or may be broken..."
Out of annoyance, he bit her neck. It might have been the moisture from his tongue, or just the sharp feeling of his teeth against her skin but her hips reacted instantly. They both cursed, although for slightly different reasons.
"You need to put me down." Katara murmured, trying to ignore the urge to keep grinding against him.
With a sigh, Zuko managed to untangle himself from her legs. "I haven't done that in years." He mumbled embarrassedly as he slowly stepped back from the waterbender.
She fell down to the floor with a dull thud. "Hump the crap out of someone pinned against a tree?" Katara asked dryly. She frowned. "My legs don't work."
"Give them a minute." He sank down next to her and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. "I meant...uh...finishing early." He paused as his brain tried to form coherent thoughts. Everything was spinning and he was still completely wasted. He was pretty sure he was saying stuff he wasn't supposed to. "Usually, I have enough self control to wait until the clothes are actually off...Although, honestly, Mai and I never did try anything outdoors...or outside of a locked door."
"Well, then that makes two us." Katara's face was lit by the glow of water as she started healing her various injuries.
Zuko watched quietly as her hand ran along her neck, then on her stomach to the sides of her exposed waist. He tried to understand what she meant. "You and Aang camp, like all the time. You guys never...?" He trailed off suddenly realizing that wasn't something he really wanted an answer too.
She frowned as she reached behind to get her back. "Oh man, it is such a good thing I'm a healer. I don't know how I'd explain having your fingerprints burned onto my skin." She seemed to have not heard him. "What am I gonna do about my clothes? And why are Fire Nation clothes so skimpy? You guys are so uptight about everything else, it's weird that you let girls run around half naked."
"Well, I personally didn't pick out the-" Zuko stopped as Katara stood up on shaky legs and started wobbling away from him. "Wait," He called, shakily getting up as well. "Where are you going? Did I...did I do something wrong? I mean, besides, the...you know-cuz like I said, that doesn't normally happen. It's probably just because of the..." He paused as he watched Katara begin to crawl around in the dark. "What are you...?"
"Where are you, you little...ah-ha!" She waved the forgotten bottle of moonshine triumphantly then took a big swig. She grimaced in pain and handed him the bottle. "Want some?"
"Uh..." he scratched at his neck uncertainly. "I'm pretty sure if I drink anymore, I'm gonna pass out."
She shrugged as she took another large swig and started walking back towards the beach. "I'm not mad at you." She said as she rubbed at her throat. "And you can't blame what just happened on the alcohol. It didn't trick you into seducing me...or me into seducing you. Or...who started this whole thing anyway? I thought we were looking for Lee."
Zuko shrugged wordlessly. The contentment he'd started to feel was being replaced by an unsettling feeling of deja vu.
Katara took another sip from the bottle and looked down at her feet. "It just sucks, you know? Aang and I have been together for...gosh, five years now? And I haven't questioned it, you know? I've been following the rules and trying my best to be a good person and in just one night, I've thrown it all away." She sighed and hugged the bottle to her. She was talking too much but she couldn't seem to shut up. "And that...whatever that was? " She gestured back towards the trees that they had just broken free of. "We don't do that. We are waiting til we get married." She laughed bitterly and looked around the beach. Toph wasn't in her hole anymore. The bonfire had died down to embers. She sat down on the log, not bothering to see if he was going to join her or not. "And...and...I just can't do that with him. This was supposed to be like our little vacation, y'know? It just... " she sighed but wouldn't look at him. Instead she traced her finger around the bottle. "Zuko, please don't take this the wrong way, but what we did was bad. It was so bad. I mean, we're drunk. So very drunk. And you're in love with someone and I'm in love with someone and you burned my skin and clothes and I don't think I'll be able to walk right tomorrow and it's not like we had...I mean we didn't actually do...it. And the worst part is," She looked up at him. Her eyes were so deep and shiny. He didn't know if it was the reflection of the ocean or the stars or just tears forming but he didn't like when she looked away. "I really want to. Like, oh my gosh, I want to so bad. It hurts. But I can't. And no amount of alcohol will make me. I can't even look at you right now, I feel so ashamed. I took advantage of you and I don't feel bad because I still want more. I want-"
The feeling of deja vu grew stronger as he kneeled down and kissed her. He could taste the alcohol on her tongue and he wanted to pretend that was what was making him dizzy. He kissed her slowly and deeply and drank every bit of it in. There was still that one kiss, the one in the corner and he was determined to get it this time, because he'd never get the chance again.
And because she had been drinking, she let him, because maybe that was a good enough excuse. But then he started pulling away and she panicked. She dug her fingers into his hair and pulled his face closer against hers. She sucked on his lip, ran her tongue along his, inhaled as much of his breath as she could, whatever it took to keep the kiss going. To keep him with her.
When he finally, finally pulled away, she was dizzy in a familiar, not at all comforting way.
He took the bottle from her and downed about half of it in one long chug. Then he handed it back to her and stood up.
"I'll see you back at the house, I guess."
She nodded numbly and hugged the bottle to herself.
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Aang wasn't surprised to see how miserable everyone was when he came by in the morning.
Well, almost everyone.
Toph's husband Lee was whistling and dancing around the kitchen in a frilly pink apron, making breakfast. But he was a big guy, almost six and a half feet tall and pretty much just muscles. Aang was pretty sure that made his alcohol tolerance a lot higher than everyone else's.
He eyed Suki and Sokka curiously. "Why are you guys wearing bed sheets?"
Sokka shrugged. "I have no idea. When I woke up, we were on the beach and our clothes were gone." He looked at Suki. "Do you remember anything, babe?"
Suki frowned thoughtfully. "I remember Toph needed a palace, " She said loftily. "whose...greatness would match that of the Melon Lord's. Lee...was on a quest to find seashells that would mirror her beauty." She smiled absently and rubbed her hand up and down Sokka's arm. "I think...we were mermaids."
Her husband stroked his chin thoughtfully, then nodded. "That sounds about right." He turned and eyed Zuko curiously. "And where were you, O Master of the Flames?"
Zuko's eyes were glazed over and he barely managed to lift his head above his arms. He shot everyone the most perfect withering glare in the existence of the world. "I had sex with a tree." He said numbly. Then plopped his face back down into his arms.
Everyone blinked.
"Well..." Suki said.
Toph raised an eyebrow. "A tree?"
Sokka scratched his head. "That sounds painful, Zuko." He grinned broadly. "Also, super embarrassing! Why'd you have sex with a tree?"
Zuko shrugged but didn't lift his head. "It was hitting on me." he mumbled.
Lee grinned. "You mean it didn't ask you to..." he paused dramatically. "leaf it alone?" He and Sokka howled with laughter as everyone else groaned.
Aang had a gnawing feeling in his stomach. So far, Katara was the only one not joining in on the conversation. She just sat quietly in the corner, hugging an empty bottle and staring at a piece of toast.
"And what was your hallucination last night?" Aang asked her quietly.
She didn't bother looking up at him. "That I had broken up with you and could do whatever I wanted." She said numbly.
Nobody else heard her. They were too busy teasing Zuko about whether he preferred peach or banana trees.
Aang sat down next to her. "It was just a dumb fight, Katara. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but...you didn't really think we broke up did you?" He tried reaching a hand out to her but she still wouldn't look up.
"Don't touch me." She said in that same numb voice. "I'm still mad at you. And I'm mad at me. I'm just mad, okay? And I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up like any second."
"Well, I told you bringing those drinks-"
"It's not the alcohol!" Katara said suddenly angry. She threw the bottle against the far wall. The sound of it shattering made everyone turn and look at her. "It's us, okay? It's me. I don't know what I want...but this," she gestured between the two of them, "This isn't it. And I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be the bad guy, but I'm pretty sure I am." She stood up to leave.
"Katara! Don't run away, we need to talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about, okay?" she said angrily. "It's done. And we're over and I don't want you giving me that sad puppy look."
Aang stood up. "Did...did something else happen last night?" He tried to tell himself that he was just really concerned for her, that no matter what she said he'd be willing to work through it with her. They loved each other. And Avatar Roku was adamant that as long as they were both willing to forgive each other, then there was no reason their relationship couldn't work. And he'd forgive her of anything, if it meant she'd stay.
Katara crossed her arms. "I'm not really sure what happened, okay?" She said. "I remember a bonfire. And I remember laughing. And I remember making out with Zuko. Other than that though...everything else is pretty much a blur."
Sokka and Aang had matching looks of horror/murder on their faces as they looked at Zuko.
"Zuko?" Sokka asked quietly. He held his spoon up threateningly. "Was my little sister the tree?"
Zuko rolled his eyes. "I think I know the difference between a girl and a tree." He bit his toast and chewed angrily, daring either of them to say something else.
Aang took a step towards the fire lord. "You made out with my fiancee?" He asked angrily.
Zuko glared at him but pretended to think the question over. "Nope." He said finally. "I'm pretty sure I made out with Katara. But don't worry, she was pretty sure she'd broken up with you. Plus, we were both completely drunk. You know what a bad influence alcohol is."
The Avatar breathed in and out slowly. He face turned pale and his arrows began to glow. "You took advantage of-"
"Oh my gosh!" Katara exclaimed. She stalked angrily towards Aang and grabbed his arm. At her touch, his glow disappeared. "He didn't take advantage of me! You really think I'd let someone take advantage of me? Remember these?" She made a gesturing motion and pulled ice daggers out of the kitchen sink. She held them inches from Aang's surprised face. "If I can make these with a headache the size of Appa pounding against my skull, I'm pretty sure, I can fight off unwanted advances." She let the ice melt to water and splash onto the floor. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm the one who kissed him. And I told you, I broke up with you." She turned and glared at her brother. "And no Sokka, Zuko and I definitely did NOT have sex."
She stomped out of the room.
Aang's breathing returned to normal but his glare didn't turn away from Zuko. "You were supposed to be my friend."
"What do you want me to say?" Zuko asked. "I told you the truth, right? I'm not even sure who kissed who. I just know we were on the beach and we had some kind of long talk about something. Don't ask me what because I don't remember. I just know..." He closed his eyes, trying to remember anything other than the stupid tree moaning. He saw Katara's eyes, shining brightly up at him. He shook his head. "...she's dealing with something and instead of trying to fix things with her, you'd rather fight with me. Which makes no sense because you're the one always saying violence never solves anything."
Lee coughed. "Not to take sides," he said slowly. "But Zuko did have sex with a tree. I think it's safe to say his judgment might have been a little off."
Aang's glare faltered for a second.
Zuko rolled his eyes. "Look, if you really love her so much, go chase her down. Otherwise, leave. I want to spend the rest of my 'vacation' so drunk that I forget that I took it in the first place. And I can't do that if you're going to be preaching about the dangers of alcohol or trying to kick my ass for something neither of us remember."
Aang scowled. "Maybe if you had paid as much attention to Mai as you do to Katara, you wouldn't have gotten dumped a month before your wedding." He turned and left the room, not bothering to wait for Zuko's response.
There was an awkward silence.
"Um...babe..." Lee stage whispered to Toph. "No offense, but I think from now on we should just vacation with my friends. There's a lot less drama."