Not even the Kami's were tested as much as himself this morning. Everything was perfect this morning, everything was just peachy, and then during the one second he chose to blink, fate decided he was to be the next torture victim.
On his way to work, some kamikaze flower delivery man zeroed in on him and decided he was the next in line to execute. Swerving into his lane, the brain cell lacking man collided into him, making his car a death trap as it spun along the road into a fire hydrant. Not only was his car totaled, it started raining. No, that wasn't rain; it was the life saving substance that tortured flames into submission. The force of the impact knocked the bolt lose from the hydrant and water was flung into the air, gravity batting its home run as the water decommissioned his windshield.
To make matters worse, flowers littered his car, making their way into his hair as he stepped out. Wet, decorated in flowers, he was waiting for the slap stick music to begin. Or perhaps people would come and dance in the pelting water and make it look refreshing. At least it would give this all some purpose.
Grunting with malice, his fingernails turned a vile green as he melted a flower from his silken locks. Figured they would be daisies. Why wouldn't they be? It was a beautiful damn day in the neighborhood right? The sun was shining, the kids were laughing, and the parents were smiling. He finally understood mass murder on a whole new level.
It mattered little that the flower loving feminine man was turning and that he had run a red light. It was still his lane! Regardless, police files were made, insurance was exchanged, and tow trucks were called. He was already half across town from his condo, and he was due at work in fifteen minutes. Not even a cabbie lacking self preservation skills would be able to make the voyage through New York traffic in that time.
Resigning on the idea of taking the subway, he journeyed towards his destination, only to realize he left his traitorous wallet in his car. Marvelous! Now he was stranded on a corner of New York, which might as well of been the scene for "Cast Away." As soon as you need help, isn't it hilarious how suddenly you catch leprosy?
Turning into a stealthy drowned rat, he stole enough money for the subway off of a blind beggar around the corner. A millionaire reduced to theft from a helpless man, Freddy Krueger had to be lurking in the shadow somewhere, because his nightmares were suddenly very real, and something deranged was out to get him.
All of that lead up to this moment, this moment when he knew he reached the ninth level of hell. Caged inside some metal electricity ran box with species of every kind. No, he didn't mean humans and demons, he just meant people. The malformed bunch extended from apple pie baking grandmas to gangsters desperate for recognition. All of them splendidly congregated into one confined area. This mattered little to him, they were all expendable. Whoever invented public transportation better be thanking Kami he didn't get to them first.