Chapter 2, Hairy and the Gift shop, is finally out, if you are reading it, you get a free burro!
Link decided to skip the Spirit temple because it "mezsed uhp hizz thang" and because of Nabooring. Link was riding on Malon to Gannon's tower and decided to stop and get a cheesy taco at Taco shield. After consuming the 5241 Calorie meal, he decided to go and head straight for Ganon's tower.
A couple hours later link finally arrived at the tower and saw that a path was missing to Ganon's castle, so he used his imagination to create a mystical rainbow through which he ran through to get to the castle.
Inside the castle was really damp and soggy with pictures of Donkeys over the walls that kept staring at Link as he walked.
Link kept walking through the castle and he saw a giant monster running toward him, and it was looking hungry. I do not want to describe what happened next but I will say this:
Poor taco.
So after sacrificing his taco to save himself from that monster link started running through the entire castle to find Ganon.
As Link walked through he saw a stupid looking boy chanting weird stuff.
"Lumos, Shumos, Hummas', kumqat, Hingo-Dingo!" said the weird kid
"Hey, thats my catch phrase" said Link while holding his sword against the kid's face.
"Oh sorry, my name is Hairy Pot, and I am trying to break this wall" Said Hairy
"What is in there?" asked Link with his head
"Oh the sorcerer's stone, but I am hoping there is women!" exclaimed Hairy.
"Cool Beans!" screamed Link
"I hate beans" responded Hairy
"Shut your dirty pie hole!" exclaimed in link in a southern manner
"I am looking for Cannon, the master of this dungeon, maybe he can lead you into the right direction" said Link
"Ok, he should be down the hall, take the right when you see the gift shop" responded Hairy
"Gift shop?" thought Link as he approached it
Inside the gift shop was standing the cashier, who was milking a donkey
"What's your name?" asked Link
"Its Sassyke" said the cashier
"What are you doing here?" asked Link
"Its my summer job, I am saving my money so I can spend it on Ultimate power" responded Sassyke
"Its winter" said Link
"Shit" responded Sassyke
Besides, everyone knows ultimate power can be achieved by... Dance!
70s music
Okay, you get the idea. Chapter over, I will be in my trailer