Giggling excitedly, they all hid behind a bush, waiting. "I think we'd better ring the door bell" said Mac Donaldall. Just as she got up, the door opened and a short, thin man with grey hair came out, he immediately spotted Mac Donaldall and then looked at the door step. "Shit!" exclaimed Mac Donaldall, and then she legged it. "Oy!" squeaked the man and, picking up the baby, tried to run after the woman but tripped on the laces of his hiking boots, at that moment he heard his wife shrieking for him. The man walked inside with the baby and closed the door.
Ten years later....... "Wake up!" came a voice "Wake up you skinny, little bastard !".Garry sat up and lay back down again, then sat up and then lay back down again, he did this for two minuets or so, until he realised he was hitting his head on the ceiling of the cupboard under the stairs, where he slept. He opened the door to find a huge fat woman with a beard, wearing a tent "What were you doing in there with all that bumping?! you dirty little sod!!" said his aunt Ainutep "Make sure you wash your hands before you cook our breakfast!"
It was awful living with his aunt and uncle, if aunt Ainutep wasn't bad enough there was Garry's uncle; Bens. Bens was short, skinny and had a perverse liking for tight trousers and woolly cardigans "There's nothing wrong with cycling shorts!! Linford Christy wears them you know!" Uncle Bens repeated this every time his son Crispin complained about his trousers being to... revealing.
Cooking the breakfast was an every day task for garry, it was very boring. but today it was garry's cousin's birthday and they were going to the zoo. Garry would normally be left at home with a baby sitter, but since garry's ant and uncle found out what garry and the baby sitter were getting up to when they were out, garry was allowed to go.
they all finished there breakfast and set off.
The day was sunny and warm, about as warm as a cow, Crispin happily skipped along, his flab bouncing up and down and wobbling as he moved. They slowly made their way in to the zoo. Today aunt Ainutep was wearing her marquee style tent, uncle Bens was wearing his favourite phosphorescent pink cycling short with bicycle clips hanging uselessly around his ankles. They headed to the reptile house and stared at the 10 foot long boa constrictor. Crispin suddenly squealed like a person stamping on a duck that's just been fed bicarbonate of soda, which makes it emit a noise that sounds a lot like a pig squealing in a gale force wind. "Squeee!" went Crispin. His mother and father immediately followed the tremor creating animal that was their son towards the ice cream stand. Garry was left alone. Being the sad person he was without any friends, he turned to the snake and started talking to it "Sorry about them " said Garry "They don't know what its like to be a snake, with no arms to hold your cup of tea, no legs to walk around on, having to smell your food with your tongue and taking days to digest it " Strangely Garry knew a hell of a lot about snakes and just as his slow mind began to process this information he realised that he knew a hell of a lot about snakes, the snake looked up "Piss off , you barstard little boy " hissed the snake "Can't you see i'm trying to get some sleep!" "Can you hear me?" said Garry as his eye began twitching as it always seemed to do whenever he asked questions. Just at that moment Crispin came running along and pressed his greasy nose up against the glass, knocking Garry to the floor. "Mum, Dad !" said Crispin "You won't believe what this snakes doing!" Garry looked up at Crispin and wished the glass would disappear and ,not surprisingly, it didn't. Crispin, being as stupid as he was fat, began banging violently against the glass trying in a childish attempt to get the snake to move. The glass smashed under the ox sized boy's blows and he fell in. The snake made a dash.... err, no........... ,more of a run.......... emmmmm..... no.... The snake, not having any arms or legs, made a sort of sliding effort for Crispin and tried to constrict him but, as Crispin was so fat, the snack couldn't quite fit it's body around him. After failing miserably it decided to leave him and escape.
This chapter isn't finished yet but I hope to finish it soon! please review!!!!