Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or any of its characters.
I don't know how long I've been underwater when I feel a strong hand grabbing my shoulder. The darkness begins to disappear and a bright light blinds me somehow, even though my eyes remain firmly closed. I feel how I'm lifted up, and then something in my back, I guess it's the floor. I can only hear the water, and a voice that seems to come from very far away…
'Stay with me, Peyton. Stay with me'
I open my eyes very slowly, but the light hurts me, and I close them again. Darkness feels safer than the world where the sun is shinning. I hear the voice again. It's his voice, speaking so near that I can feel his warm breath in my wet ear.
'Please, wake up, love. Wake up'
At this point, I understand that, no matter how much I want it, I cannot lay there forever, and I start to move. A lot of thoughts come quickly to my mind, 'How in hell I'm going to explain this?' being the most important.
I try to sit, and someone helps me, but I feel very dizzy and I just wanna lay down again and sleep, sleep forever. I hear a siren and a female voice announces that the ambulance has arrived.
Someone is holding my hand, and doesn't let go, even while the ambulance flies to the nearest hospital. I feel the salty taste in my mouth, my wet hair, the sand in my body, making me feel uncomfortable.
In a wink, we are inside the hospital. I open my eyes just to see a group of people surrounding me, and Lucas staying behind, just waiting at the door where he has been told to wait, and crying silently. I lay my head down and everything fades away.
The sun light is like a caress in my cold cheek. I looked around and realise I'm in hospital. I feel like having slept for a very long time. It's like waking up form a very weird dream, when you don't know if you feel disappointed or relieved that it's over.
Luca is sitting in a chair next to my bed. He seems half asleep.
-Lucas-I say in a whisper.
-Mmm… Peyton? You awake?-I have all his attention now.
-Lucas, go home-I'm too embarrassed to be in his presence right now.
-Home? What are you…?-he seems confused.
-Thanks for coming and all, but you better go.
-Peyton, I have been here for hours, waiting for you to wake up. The others are outside and…
-No! I don't want to see anyone-my voice is trembling.
-Ok, ok, but don't' ask me to go. Tell me, how are you feeling?
-Lucas… I'm so, so, sorry…-I feel hot tears running through my face.
-What for? It hasn't been your fault, it can happen to anyone.
-I…I did it on purpose-I can't stop crying.
His face goes completely white, and he looks at me incredulously. He's hands are shaking.
-YOU WHAT?-he cries.
-I'm sorry!
-Why in hell did you do that? You wanted to be the centre of attention, or what? That's why you accepted to come to the beach, for all that scene?
-No, I…
But he doesn't want to listen to me. He's misunderstanding everything.
-We were dead worried, and you were pretending to drown. I can't believe it, you…
-I wanted to die.
He stops dead. All the anger seems to evaporate. He runs to my bed.
-I wanted to die. I felt depressed. I have nothing, Lucas.
He looks at me in silence, worrying reflected in his eyes.
-You have us, Peyton.
-Really? Because some hours ago I was completely invisible for all of you-I smile sadly- Anyway, it's not only that, it's everything, work, family, friends, you…
-Me what?-he raises an eyebrow.
-Nothing.
-Peyton. You have been about to die today, and I was thinking I would never see your face again. We have been given a second chance to talk to each other. If is there a moment to be sincere, it is now.
I sigh deeply. If he wants the truth, I will tell him the truth.
-I love you. I've always loved you and I know I always will-he seems about to speak, but I haven't finished yet. –Everyone says I will get over it, but I know I won't. Wanna know how I know it? 'Coz when I was underwater, before fainting, the most important moments of my life appeared in my head like a movie, and you were in all of them. How can I get over that? I can't, and it's hard to see you everyday with other woman, and I hate myself because it's all my fault. If I had told you how I felt before… Well, I guess it doesn't matter. I mean, you're in love with someone else. But my life seems so empty without you that…-it's hard to speak, my throat aches and I cough.
-Ok, it's enough, don't speak-he leans a finger on my lips gently-It's my turn now. You're right, I'm with someone else. Lindsay is great and I feel really at ease with her. But… but I don't love her. Not in the same why I loved you. I still do. Yesterday we had a terrible argument. We decide to go to the beach because we thought it was the kind of fun, romantic thing we needed to do to sort things out, but when a relationship doesn't work, a day by the sea cannot fix it. Then, when you almost drown, I thought of the possibility of not seeing you again, not talking to you anymore. The only thing I could think of was 'I haven't told her how much I love her. I haven't say goodbye'.
Peyton, you need to rest to get well soon. If you want to, you can go on a trip, take some days off and travel somewhere, visit a doctor or someone who can help you if you think you're going to try something like what you've done today again, but whatever you do, or wherever you go, I only want to be with you.
He leans forwards and kisses me softly in the lips. I hold his hand tightly and cry, but this time, they're happy tears, because I know he's with me, looking after me, and everything's going to be alright.
But still, this is too good to be true. Sometimes, when we are having a very pleasant dream there is a moment when we suddenly realise that what's happening is not true. Then, you feel that you don't want to wake up, because when you do, everything will disappear and you will be thrown into your disgusting reality again. I hate that feeling. When Lucas placed that kiss in my lips, and I felt his hand, there was a terrible moment when I understood I was dreaming. I understood that my only moment of happiness was unreal. So when I wake up and I notice I'm all alone in a hospital room, I can't help but wonder why in hell I have survived. My way down to Hell has just begun.
Yeah, there are more to come. Poor Peyton is going to suffer a bit more, but next updating may take a bit long. Please, R&R, and thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter!