Dear Mother in heaven,
you told me to look to God in prayer.
you don't bring me flowers anymore
A Kanako Miyamae fanfiction
Chapter 1
This was where her parents had met a long time ago.
Kanako's dearest mother in heaven had studied here in Ame no Kisaki, and the blue-haired girl wondered whether she was following in her mother's footsteps, or taking an entirely different road. It was true that Kanako did come to the school to find true love just like how her parents did, yet now, when the sun appeared dark in her eyes, she had decided that Ame no Kisaki would be an escape, a rehabilitation center of sorts.
Takayasu's Arteritis.
It sounded like a death sentence.
The cause of Takayasu's Arteritis is unknown. It is a rare illness that occurs to young women below 30 years old. The pulse-less disease is a chronic inflammation of the large blood vessels that distribute blood from the heart, including the aorta and its main branches. The inflammation of the aorta and its branch arteries can lead to poor blood supply to tissues of the body in patients with Takayasu's Arteritis. This can cause painful, cool, or blanched extremities...
Various students walked by Kanako, who was standing and staring at everything and nothing at the same time. It seemed so surreal; the hospital, the diagnosis, the medicines that she had in her bag, the medical certificate that was in her pocket and the fact that she was standing perfectly upright that day was surreal. It was as if she never was sick in the first place, as if she never collapsed back home or spent her days in the hospital.
Standing there at the path towards the school made it so much like a dream.
The time she walked into those gates was like something from a fairy tale. She started to walk, slowly and cautiously, her shoes making stepping noises on the bricked ground...
So far, so good.
That's right. She'll get better. She's walking so well, and she'll definitely be better soon.
So Kanako Miyamae walked, trying to envision a typical new term of her final year in Ame no Kisaki. See the beautiful angels, imagine the festivals, sleepovers with girls in lacy lingerie and pajamas...!
Step.
"Eh..."
What...did she step on?
The object that she had stepped on was a textbook, notably 'Fun Time Maths 2.'
"Aha...ahahahaha..."
She dropped her Math textbook. In the midst of her reveries and her depressed thinking, she dropped her textbook right where she would step.
...Better there than staying inside of her bag.
Kanako laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Nothing had changed, after all! Nothing was any different! It was just like before; everything would be the same. Nothing would be different even when she's sick like that, and there'll always be pretty girls, Mariya and Matsurika-
...
...Mariya and Matsurika.
She twitched, realizing full well that she'll have to spend the term with them.
But there was the bright side; everything was the same. Everything was the same, and nothing would disrupt it. She'll just have to take her medicine-she did, after all, undergo surgery that day, so it'll be okay. Kanako merely hoped that it didn't leave a scar, since the doctor did stitch it up very carefully.
Even so! The risks of having such an ugly scar would be there! And if the girl of her dreams manage to find out about her scar, she might be horribly turned off!
"Good morning, Kanako-san!"
Oh? What is that angelic sound?
It is the sound of an angel! An angel that fell from heaven above! She must acknowledge the voice, the voice that could only belong to-
"Good morni-!"
Kanako's greeting was cut short when she saw that the angel in question was, of course, not an angel at all, not even a girl, and was obviously Mariya Shidou.
Smug-faced bastard. A literal dick. A sly fellow! If Kanako flipped that skirt up for the world to see, surely the girls in Ame no Kisaki would be horribly mortified! And Kanako would be their sole comforter, and this way, she can get the harem route that she's always wanted~! A harem full of beautiful girls in a Catholic school! And all this without a walkthrough, and she'll unlock the H-scenes too...!
"...Oh god, you're the same as last term," Mariya said, obviously disgusted and disappointed.
"W-What do you mean by tha-"
Blood. Kanako tasted blood. Would you look at that, she's nosebleeding.
"He...hehuehuehue..."
"I think it can't be helped," Matsurika said, walking up to them. "Did you grow, Kanako-sama? I think you did."
"I didn't!" Kanako cried, hastily picking up her Math book. "It's only one term break! How the hell could I have grown in one term break?! That just doesn't make sense!"
Mariya shook his head. "Frankly, everything about you doesn't make sense. You're just a pain in the ass."
"That's not true! Searching for true love in a sea of beautiful angelic girls and hoping for the H-ending in this visual novel of a life is a very sensible thing~~!"
"Disgusting pig."
"U-Uwaa...!"
Mariya looked over at Matsurika, who too was quite stoically disgusted. Even so, it wasn't like they were going to put up with her forever. It's Kanako's last year, and this was her final term. After that, she would graduate from Ame no Kisaki, and she'll move on to college. Then university. Then do her part to contribute to society.
They both shuddered to even think of how Kanako Miyamae would do her part to contribute to society. Rather, she'd defile it.
"So, what did you do for the term holidays?" Mariya nonchalantly asked. "I couldn't catch wind of you since I had things to do."
I went to the hospital, had a heart operation and stayed there.
"I went to the beach with Miki~!" Kanako said, swooning. "Aah, my little sister can't be that cute~~!"
"Liar," was his deadpan response. Mariya definitely caught on.
There was only nervous laughter coming from Kanako, and she knew that she couldn't lie. Mariya Shidou, after all, caught on every single thing just like that, and that's when he's not trying. The blue-haired senior dreaded the possibility of him ever trying to make an effort to find out a very carefully hidden secret, given that he was a rich bastard with a dead grandmother whom he would crossdress for out of familial love as well as to stay in the running to inherit Ame no Kisaki and Mihashi no Mori...was indeed terrifying and intimidating on its own.
But this was one thing that Kanako absolutely couldn't tell Mariya. Or anybody.
To tell someone that you're about to die by the end of the year is completely depressing, since the one who would most likely be depressed would be the dying person themselves. To the person you're speaking to, it would be either depressing or laughable.
"C-Can't you leave me with my private life, please...?" Kanako tried a very pathetic pout.
Mariya looked less than impressed. "Ahahaha, no. Walk. You're blocking the road, fatas-"
Whispers from other passing girls cut Mariya's sentence short, notably the younger girls. He instantly waved, plastered a charming smile on his face out of nowhere and giggled girlishly, as if he was relishing in a cute joke. Murmurs of how Shidou-san and Miyamae-san get along so well reached the trio's ears, and while Mariya was relishing in the fact that his farce was going along so well, Kanako felt like digging herself a hole.
How could they fall for such trickery? Kanako has decided; she will save these girls from this awful person's tricks, one way or another!
His sudden grin to Kanako could easily be interpreted as: 'I'd like to see you try.'
Technically, she didn't have to dig herself a hole at this stage. Funeral people would do it for her when she's dead in a coffin. It didn't take long for her to die with Takayasu's Arteritis catching up, ensnaring her in its symptoms slowly if there were no triggers.
Great.
If there were no triggers.
As Kanako pretended to listen to Mariya's insults, she remembered that she had to take her medicine at 10.
Sticking her hand into her bag was a nightmare.
Kanako twitched as she took out her slimy packets of medicine before proceeding to wash them in the dorm room's bathroom. Justified; the amount of medicine that she had couldn't fit in her pocket (but maybe they could fit in Sachi's), but where else could she put them in?
She really should've bought a new bag and left that...thing...somewhere...even if it could be found again.
Mariya and Matsurika would be back around now, but for the time being, Kanako decided to let reality sink in. Everything had to be taken in right then, right now, and Kanako had to remind herself that while her life in Ame no Kisaki was an ideal escape from reality, she still had to remember that she was chronically ill.
"Your name is Kanako Miyamae," she spoke to herself, looking at her reflection in the mirror. "You have short blue hair and blue eyes."
Okay, that's good. Keep going.
"Your height is 175 cm, your birthday is on August 31, you're a Virgo and your blood type is AB."
Carry on.
"...You hate men."
That's it. That's all.
What should she do next? She technically made a self-introduction to herself in front of the mirror. The mirror stared back, and being a reflection, it definitely couldn't answer Kanako's questions unless she came up with an answer. Kanako then opted to read the particulars of her medicine.
"Prednisone, immunosuppressant. Clopidogrel. Nifedipine..."
...She couldn't go on. She couldn't go on reading all that.
So she got some water, downed her dose and looked at herself in the mirror again. There was the reflection of the clock behind her, and she put her medicine inside her bag, noting that she had to go to class. The post-holiday orientation was done, and Kanako prepared her books as if it was a daily routine.
It was a routine. A sick routine. Kanako placed the books aside, remembering that nothing ever happens on the first day of post-holiday orientation, and that the students were free to do anything they liked.
Why did everything look so negative in her eyes lately?
"Oi, where have you been?!" Mariya bellowed, prompting Kanako to jerk from her current position and knock her head against the cabinet in shock.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow...!"
The blonde clicked his tongue, scrutinizing her as he groaned. Really, she was hopeless. There was nothing that he nor Matsurika could do to save her pitiful, perverted soul, and what's worse, he knew that something was off. Kanako was spacing out at the orientation, and she didn't look nervy or amiable.
"I know something's up. Tell me what it is," he said, bending down to her level. "Please, Kanako-san?~"
"..."
W-What...What was this beautiful image she was seeing...?
"I'll tell you~~!" Kanako jumped up, flailing her hands in the air. "I'll tell you everything, beautiful angel of mine~~~!"
"Did you grow in height?" Matsurika cut in.
Kanako froze.
"W-What...a...s-sensitive...topic...!"
Gentle giggles came from Mariya, then they evolved to full-out masculine laughs of ridicule. "Oh my god, you really are gullible, aren't you!"
"BASTARD! YOU'RE BULLYING A PITIFUL MAIDEN!"
Mariya smiled, gathering his things as he looked over at Kanako, who was rubbing her sore forehead. What a typical sight. Kanako was being uncharacteristically secretive, to which, he thought, was all the more fun. What could she possibly be doing during her term break? Knowing Kanako, it would possibly involve incredibly embarrassing things that he would just love to exploit, and he looked out of the window.
"It's still morning, huh?" he mused to himself. Kanako looked out of the window too, seeing the beautiful greenery of Ame no Kisaki in their full glory.
"...Yeah. It's a beautiful morning."
"Do you two plan on looking out of the window to admire the greenery?" Matsurika said, looking out as well. "Because I don't mind."
"It's beautiful," Kanako said softly, smiling. "Just like her."
Just like you, Mother. Just like your beautiful soul.
Don't worry.
I'll pray. I'll pray every single day.
And I'll get through this.
Tota pulchra es, Maria,
et macula originalis non est in te.
-Tota Pulchra Es
A/N: It's a peaceful yet angsty chapter, and I'm glad that I wrote it as the base for 'you don't bring me flowers anymore'! Please look forward to more chapters!
-Densetsu-no-Maguro