chapter 2
"Hey, babe!"Kane Phillips greeted his wife as he always did, with a tender kiss, and Kirsty thought again how lucky they were to know a love so strong. The round montage of photographs hanging on the wall told their story.
Their wedding days, both the day they eloped and their later, official, wedding after her family had grudgingly accepted Kane. The celebration meal the day they learnt Kane had finally beaten the cancer. Jamie, red and wrinkled, newly born.
Kirsty, fist raised and clenched in triumph, around her neck the gold Olympic medal she'd won swimming for Australia. Kane, handsome and happy, wearing his sea captain's uniform. The little family of three fooling for the camera the day they set off on the cruise ship Kane was captaining. Oh, for a while they had been so golden!
Then the shadows had fallen with a bitter, unrelenting cruelty. The final picture was the one that Kirsty's gaze rested on now.
Of herself, pinched and pale, sitting up in the hospital bed, a garland of flowers in her hair, Kane with his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders, their cheeks touching as they cuddled a grinning Jamie between them. Their recommitment ceremony, when they annually reaffirmed their love, had this year coincided with side effects from the medication essential to prevent her weakened body rejecting the transplanted kidney.
Gone now were Kirsty's Olympic dreams. Gone too were Kane's dreams of captaining ships to far countries. He refused to leave his wife for the long periods he'd need to be away and settled instead for the little cruise ship that took day trippers as far as Yabbie Creek and round Summer Bay.
And, knowing how much that lost dream meant to him, she held him so tight.
"You okay?" Kane asked.
She nodded. "It never gets any easier."
"I know," he whispered.
"But I don't want her to ever be alone. Especially not today."
"Me neither, Kirst." He picked up the flowers, biting back tears.
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Jamie tumbled out of school, yelling farewells to assorted mates, clutching a Shrek IV lunchbox and two newly painted pictures. Friday was normally the day Mum and Dad picked him up from school together because it was the day Dad finished work early and Mum didn't have TAFE, but today Anniedani was just arriving at the tree where the thick white blossom was falling like snow.
Last week Dad had suddenly picked up handfuls of the snowy petals and thrown them over Mum, just like they'd done at Anniejade's wedding, and Jamie had quickly joined in, both of them chasing her down the path, with Mum running away from them, laughing, turning unexpectedly at the school gate and firing Jamie's water pistol back at them.
"Suckers!" she'd yelled. "I thought you might try something like this so I came prepared!"
Jamie was used to other kids' parents staring when his Mum and Dad did stuff like that. It was like somewhere along the way they forgot to grow up and they knew they forgot but they still didn't care which made it all the more exciting.
"Sorry I'm late, Jamie, I had to go someplace."
Anniedani sounded out of breath, like she'd been running. She was like most grown ups, never dreaming of chasing round playgrounds, only glancing at the paintings (Mum and Dad spent ages over them) before declaring them cool. She always hesitated before she took his hand so, to save time, he didn't give her his hand right away and her eyes flickered for a moment as if she was wondering.
Yeh, he noticed that too. Funny the things he noticed and nobody thought he did. After that uneasy second they were okay, with Jamie jabbering away nineteen-to-the dozen about everything he'd done in school, especially about sitting again at the old desk where Dad had carved his name.
"Did you go to school with my Dad, Anniedani?" he queried talkatively.
"Not till we were much older, J."
"Did ya like him?"
Wow, that must've been some question, Anniedani's fingers suddenly dug into his palm!
Dani looked down at her little nephew, choosing her words carefully. "I didn't really know him then. Guess I didn't know him till him and your Mum fell in love, hey?"
He nodded gravely, feeling somehow like he'd been entrusted with a secret. Maybe one day bit by bit he would piece together the mystery. But not today. Anniedani looked somewhere faraway and didn't say anymore.
They had almost reached the old-fashioned sweetshop on the way to Grandad's and he ran on ahead because Jamie loved to hear the door swish and the bell ring before they were plunged from bright sunshine into the store's dim grey light. He could have spent forever looking round at the shelves of oddly-shaped jars filled with lollies that wrinklies were always saying they hadn't seen in years, but at last he settled on wine gums.
He watched, fascinated, as Mrs Parker, the elderly lady who owned the shop and who moved very, very slowly, carefully positioned the stepstool, climbed up and shakily took the jar from the top shelf. Like a slow motion movie, she poured the wine gums into the scales, and took a great deal of time weighing the exact amount and scooping them into the paper bag before screwing the lid back on, climbing shakily back on the stool and returning the jar to its rightful place. Then, breathless but pleased with herself, she dusted herself down, put the stool back under the counter and took Jamie's money to ring into the old-fashioned cash register.
"Thank you," he said, taking his change. Mum and Dad would be stoked that he'd remembered to say it and that he was being sooo patient.
"What lovely manners, Jamie!" Mrs Parker remarked, making Anniedani smile.
"And another bag of wine gums. Please." He smiled up at the old lady and his aunt, sure they'd be real proud he'd remembered the magic word, and wondered why they were looking at him like that.
"'Cos I'm gonna give some to my Dad," he added, thinking maybe it was because they thought he couldn't eat so many lollies by himself.
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Kirsty tenderly brushed her hand across the small white gravestone. The wind was gathering pace, like it had done last week when Kane and Jamie had chased her with the white blossom, and the tree that towered over the little patch of ground like a jealous guardian was raining leaves.
She traced her fingers across the inscription and whispered gently to her child.
"Guess you're wondering where Jamie is, huh, Lulu? He's gone with your Aunt Dani to Grandad's, and hey your grandad's got that new kids' movie on DVD, the one...the one..."
She bit her lip, unable to say any more, and Kane, who'd been arranging fresh flowers on their little girl's grave, turned with silent tears streaming down his own face, and held her to his chest. They had been right not to bring Jamie to visit today. The anniversary of Kirsty losing the baby always hit them especially hard.
They sat on the bench where her name was engraved on the little gold plaque. In Loving Memory of Lily Phillips. A flower name, like they'd wanted, like Kane's late Aunt Rose. But she was Lulu to the family because Jamie hadn?t been able to say Lily when he was younger and had said Lulu instead. The nickname stuck. It was all they could give her to say she was loved.
The young parents wept softly for the daughter they had never known, two forlorn figures holding on to each other for strength, while the wind played in the grass and the church bells chimed freely over the Bay. And in Kane's heart was another memory. Across the way, at the other side of the church, lay a terrible, terriblesecret. Buried, he hoped, forever.
The tree that guarded Lily shushed and shook its branches fiercely as if daring anyone to intrude on their private grief. But it was too late. Someone unseen, unheard, had already watched and long gone.
And they carried inside them a terrible hate.