It wasn't the first time Sans had fallen asleep at his station. Heck, it wasn't even in the double digits anymore. But something about this time just...irked Undyne. It was like he was throwing it in her face that Asgore wouldn't let her fire him.
So of course when she'd found him sleeping this time she'd started yelling at him. He was lazy. He was pathetic. He was useless. She let her mouth vent all the seething resentment and disdain she'd been holding back for years. Papyrus would probably make her apologize in a few days, but right now she was angry. She was angry, and she had a perfect target. Heck, he wasn't even talking back.
He wasn't talking back. Something about that bothered her, and it wasn't until she was several minutes into the speech that she figured out why. He wasn't talking back, no. But that meant he wasn't punning, and Sans always punned.
She broke off mid-harangue to poke him.
"Hey, you alright punk?"
He didn't stir.
"Sans?"
Not even a twitch of a phalange acknowledged her.
"Dude, I know you're awake. When you're asleep you snore."
Still no response. She leaned closer.
Sans had always had a quiet SOUL beat. Papyrus said it was because he'd gotten sick as a child. Quiet she could accept, but this was ridiculous. She could hardly make out three beats per minute.
Undyne didn't waste any time. She pulled out her phone and held down the speed dial for Papyrus with one hand while hauling Sans' dead weight over her shoulder with the other. The phone hardly started the first ring before he answered.
"YES? YOU'VE REACHED THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"
"Pap, something's up with Sans. He's not responding and his SOUL beat is way too slow. Should I take him to your place or Alphys'?"
She heard Papyrus' attempt to hold back a sob and pushed it to the back of her mind. She'd yell at Sans for making him worry when the punk woke up.
Papyrus' voice was cracked when he responded, "TAKE HIM TO ALPHYS'. THERE'S A MEDICINE. IT'S IN A BLUE BOTTLE, AND IT'S WHITE."
Undyne grunted as she set off. Alphys' Lab wasn't far, and while Papyrus' description was vague, she was sure the brilliant scientist would know what to do.
Undyne sat in a chair beside a bed containing a skeleton on the edge of death. She hadn't moved in a while. She'd collapsed the moment Alphys told her the news.
She felt awful. She'd been haranguing Sans as if nothing was wrong while he'd been dying by inches in front of her. She should have been kinder. She should have insisted he take less hours. She should have thought.
Alphys said this was genetic, an overreaction to stress in his magic that turned it into something like acid. It ate at his bones from the inside until it hit something vital. Then he collapsed, just like this. It had been building for weeks, Alphys said. He'd must have been in agony.
Why hadn't he said something? He must have noticed. No one could miss that kind of pain. She could have found something better - heck, if she'd told Fluffybuns he would have tripled Sans' salary and ordered him to take paid time off. Papyrus was beating himself up for pushing Sans into 'not being such a lazybones'. She couldn't blame him. She felt the same.
The good news was that this was manageable. The medicine Papyrus had described was fairly cheap. Sans would be on a triple dose until he woke up. After that, he needed to drink at least one bottle a day. Undyne was already planning what she'd say to Fluffybuns when something groaned.
Her head shot up. Sans was curling up into a tight little ball. His skull was leaking blue fluid like sweat, and his sockets were scrunched up with pain. She snatched the waiting bottle of medicine from his bedside. The other hand pushed his legs down flat.
"Oh no you don't, punk. Open your mouth right now."
His mouth was open, but only because he was panting like mad. She tipped his skull back and dumped the medicine down his throat in an inelegant sploosh. His magic tried to reject it, but after she shut his mouth tight she saw his throat working. Undyne breathed out.
"Stars you scared me punk. Don't do that!"
"sorry."
His voice was quiet, a croak even, but it was there. She refrained from hugging him senseless. It wouldn't help any.
"Don't be sorry, punk. Just don't do it!" She wound down about eight notches, "How are you feeling, anyway?"
"not bad."
"Sans," she voiced, deadpan, "You're in the Royal Laboratory. Papyrus has been beside himself with worry, Alphys is working on making you a cure, and Fluffy- the King himself is constantly on my back asking about you. Be honest."
Sans wouldn't look her in the eye.
"i'm not as bad as i was."
"Better. On a scale of one to ten, how dead do you feel?"
He let out a wet chuckle.
"eight? yeah, eight."
"Okay," That sounded horrible, "And how bad did you feel before you collapsed?"
Sans winced. Well, he tried to wince. His body wasn't really cooperating.
"dunno. twenty?"
"That wasn't an option, punk," Man that sounded badass, "But kudos for not dying. By the way, don't do that."
"not planning on it. pap needs me."
She turned her head aside and rubbed some gook out of her eye. Yeah, gook. Not tears. Nope.
"Yeah, he does. So tell me why you were stupid enough to hide this from him."
He turned away, "i didn't want to put him through that again."
"Again?" She leant down over him. His sockets were tearing up.
"yeah. we, uh...i had this happen before. i was, like, ten i think? yeah. our parents weren't exactly stellar, you know?"
"I got that idea," More than an idea. Watching Pap's reactions had painted an entire picture, "Go on."
"they didn't, um...i had to...pap needed to eat, right? and they weren't...so i worked. and school, and...our dad wasn't...pap thought they were nice, but he didn't know that they...that they…"
"I get it, punk."
Wow. Had they really…? No, she wasn't going to doubt him. Not now.
"i wanted to get him out. before he got...before he learned what monsters could turn into. and i did, but before that i was doing too much. and pap, he stepped up. so much, i - i was so proud of him. he got medicine for me for two weeks after our parents stopped. did you know that?"
"No. I didn't," He sounded like a proud parent. Guess he kinda was, wasn't he? The only one Pap had, "Doesn't surprise me, though. Not with how much he idolizes you."
"heh. i'm nothing special, but he's too cool to see that."
"No, you're not. You took care of him, you dealt with some seriously bad parenting, you got him out of there and to a place where he could shine. All while you were growing up yourself and in serious pain the entire time - no, don't you dare deny it. You deserve a heck of a lot more than life has given you."
Sans sat back and grumbled just under his breath, "no i don't."
"YES YOU FRICKING DO!"
"UNDYNE?"
Both of them turned. Papyrus had stuck his head through the door, but it wasn't alone for long. One second he was hesitant to intrude, the next he and Sans were tangled in a ball of somewhat battered bones. She just stood back and beamed as her best friend snuggled and snuffled into his older brother. Those two nerds deserved it, and if she had anything to say about it too much cuddles would be the only thing they'd have to worry about from now on.