How did you change that made me care about you? No. You didn't change. I did.
Touched
I'm still not sure how it happened.
Words seemed to flow out of my body without control. I felt myself leaning towards you, and in one moment we went from our constant arguments to something totally different.
I didn't quite understand why I had said it. I'd never said it before. What changed? Did you eventually become a person I'd actually care to be with? Did you change?
No.
I did.
When we thought we were goners; when you were trying to tell me something... I started getting crazy ideas about what you were going to say. I was afraid. I thought I was afraid because I didn't want to have to tell you that your feelings were unrequited if you were trying to tell me you had them.
But, then I realized that wasn't it. I wasn't afraid of that. I was afraid of having to say I did care.
You did a strange thing to me Sprx. You still do. It's like your able to walk through all my defenses I had put up and touch me; touch my heart, and it scared me. I didn't want to change. I didn't want to let anybody through like that.
So I got more aggressive. I insulted you more. I hurt you more when you got close. I did everything possible to make it seem like I didn't care. Looking back I was acting like a little kid. That's what they do when they're too afraid to say they have a crush, isn't it? They pick on that person they care about, don't they?
But I'm not a little kid. I'm a warrior. I'm a hero. I should be more mature than that. You were able to express how you felt, or at least you tried to. It took my heart breaking for me to do that.
My heart was broken Sprx. It was broken into pieces. When I saw you like that. When you just wanted to kill me, us, my heart was broken. All of these emotions came up, and I had to use all my strength to not break down crying in the middle of the battle. Eventually my strength crumbled beneath me, and I said it. I said it.
And I meant it.
I love you.
I love you.
I want to spend more time with you; to be there for you. I don't want to hide anymore.
I never want to forget how it felt when you touched my heart.