Star Ocean III: Aftermath
KTAH: Oops… did that last chapter really offend some people?
Jack: Maybe because you listen to too much of that Ying Yang Bros. or something…
KTAH: TWINS! … oh my…
Jack: What?
KTAH: I made Mirage sing Ying Yang songs! Mebbe that's why?
Jack: I dunno… so have you decided on another disclaimer yet?
KTAH: Hm… uh… nope.
Jack: Figures… well, are you writing another Radiata story?
KTAH: Nope. Its another chapter of SO3 Aftermath!
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KTAH: Ah, shaddup! Disclaimer!
Jack: … KTAH doesn't own anyone from Star Ocean…
KTAH: Cool! Well, then! Let's get started!
NOTE: If the story offends you, I deeply apologize. Everytime someone is offended, I lose a brain cell. But as I always say, they are just jokes. Most of the jokes are not by my opinion (I will point out when my opinion applies; for example, I think I can't write a serious story, and I know it!). Ok, well, enough jibba-jabba! BEGIN!
LAST TIME ON SO3 AFTERMATH…Fayt: You got your tomato in my carrot!
Maria: You got your carrot in my tomato!
Fayt & Maria: It's a Carmatot!
Cliff: WTF?
THAT ACTUALLY DIDN'T HAPPEN! NOW, THE STORY CONTINUES! Well, let's check in with Fayt, shall we?Fayt: GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE—AGH!
(Fayt is smashed in the face with a watermelon)
Maria: SHUT UP!
Fayt: Ow, what was that for!
Maria: My… head… is… friggin'… killin'… me…
Fayt: Oh… a hangover…
Maria: Yeah…
Fayt: Yeah…
Maria: Yeah…
(Suddenly Cliff busts down the door with Mirage's head)
Cliff: HEY GUYS!
Maria: OWWWWW SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
Fayt: YEAH DON'T YOU SEE THAT HER HEAD HURTS!
Maria: OWWWW YOU SHUT UP TOO!
Fayt: Oh, sorry…
Cliff: What's wrong with you?
Maria: I… have… a… hangover…
Cliff: Oh… from that party…
Fayt: Wait… who set that up anyway?
Cliff: Looks like we gots a mystery on our hands…
Maria: Let's solve it… tomorrow…
Fayt & Cliff: Yep…
MEANWHILE, WITH NEL AND CROSELL…
Crosell: Geez, do you ever go away?
Nel: Nope.
Crosell: Why me?
Nel: Cuz' you the biggest dragon.
Crosell: Oh, stop that, you're gonna make me blush…
Nel: Then shut up, ya idiot!
Crosell: I hate you…
Nel: Hmm?
Crosell: Nuttin'…
AND HOW ABOUT ROGER AND PEPPITA?
Roger: Mmm! This lemonade is sure delicious!
Peppita: … that's not lemonade…
EWW… WELL, HOW ABOUT SOPHIA?
Sophia: Grr! Why am I still acting like a maid!
Albel: Cuz' you tried to kill us…
Sophia: Well I need anger management!
Albel: Get back to work, worm…
Sophia: I am not a worm!
Albel: I said GET BACK TO WORK WORM!
(Flames appear before Albel)
Sophia: Y-yes Master!
Albel: Good girl… worm.
AND WE CAN'T FORGET ADRAY AND CLAIR.
Adray: Hmm? What?
Clair: Whaddya want?
Adray: Hey, we didn't get a script for this chapter, so go away.
Clair: Yeah!
WELL THAT WAS A WASTE OF TIME… OH, WELL… NIGHTY NIGHT…
………………………………………………………………
THE NEXT DAY…
Maria: ALRIGHT! Today we'll solve the mystery of the party creator!
Fayt: We already found out.
Cliff: Yeah, it was those red and yellow M&M's…
Maria: H-hey! I said that we would solve it today!
Fayt: … seriously?
Cliff: Wow, we musta blanked out or something…
Mirage: …
Maria: Yo, has Mirage said anything since last chapter?
Cliff: Nah, she's probably got a loose bolt or something…
Fayt: It don't matter, she usually just sings Ying Yang songs…
Maria: Well, what should we do now?
Fayt: Dunno…
Cliff: Hm…
Maria: I got it! Let's see how the others are doing back at the ship!
Fayt: Oh, right, in Peterny!
Cliff: Let's go in the rocket!
Maria: Yeah!
(The three jump into a rocket, but sadly, the rocket has no fuel…)
Cliff: Damn rocket…
Fayt: Looks like we're hoofin' it…
Maria: Not so fast! We got segways!
Fayt: Those primitive things?
Cliff: Uh-oh… you shouldn't have said that…
Maria: …
Fayt: Y-you ok?
Maria: How… dare you SAY THAT ABOUT MY DEAR SEGWAY!
(Maria chases Fayt out of the castle on her segway)
Cliff: Wait up guys!
(Cliff's pantlegs become hover pants and he hovers after them)
MEANWHILE, BACK WITH NEL AND CROSELL…
Nel: Whoa, did you just see that?
Crosell: What?
Nel: Some guy just flew in the sky with his pants!
Crosell: W-wow… that's strange…
Nel: True dat.
Crosell: Why do you hang around here, anyway? I'm just a dragon…
Nel: I dunno, there's no one to talk to.
Crosell: There's Albel!
Nel: No way, all he talks about is eating worms or something…
Crosell: W-well, what about… uh…
Nel: Listen, I ain't goin' anywhere, so get used to it.
Crosell: I hate my life…
UH OH, LOOKS LIKE MARIA CAUGHT UP TO FAYT…
Maria: PRIMARY LOTUS!
Fayt: AHuhAHuhAHuhAHuh!
Cliff: Wait, when did she learn that?
(Fayt crashes into the ground headfirst and Maria flips out of the smoke and lands perfectly on her segway)
Maria: That's what you get, foo'!
Fayt: OMG what was that!
Mirage: That was the—
Cliff: Whoa! When the fig did you get here?
Mirage: Approximately 20 minutes ago.
Cliff: But we just got here about a minute ago!
Mirage: IKNOWEVERYTHING…
Cliff: Awkward… (slides away from Mirage)
Fayt: Ugh… my head hurts…
Maria: Shut up! So, what were we supposed to do?
Fayt: Oh, we were going to the Diplo!
Cliff: Well, let's go!
(The three ride their segways to Peterny, while Mirage heads for space for some reason)
YES THAT WAS YET ANOTHER NARUTO REFERENCE… WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT SOPHIA'S UP TO…
Sophia: Hey… he's gone…
(Sophia creeps around the library in an attempt to escape her prison of endless maid work)
Sophia: Heheh, this is too easy…
Albel: You can say that again…
Sophia: Totally, that douchebag won't know that I'm even go—oh, WTF!
Albel: GET BACK TO WORK, MAGGOT!
Sophia: GRR I HATE YOU!
ALBEL: SAME HERE! NOW GO!
Sophia: Ugh… I was sooooo close!
(Sophia goes back to mopping the floor)
NOW BACK TO FAYT, MARIA, AND CLIFF…
Cliff: Did we make it to Peterny yet?
Maria: Hm… nope!
Fayt: Um… where are we, anyway?
(Actually, they were in Peterny a few minutes ago… and they passed it and were now in Airyglyph…)
Fayt: … did it always snow in Peterny?
Cliff: Oh, crap! We're in Airyglyph!
Maria: That means we're almost there!
Fayt: Let's go!
All Three: WHEEEEEEEE!
Random Civilian #3: Flippin' retards!
(Random Civilian #3 is shot by Maria)
Random Civilian #4: Oh, SNAP!
28 MINUTES AND 19 SECONDS LATER… 20 SECONDS… 21…
Fayt: WTF was that!
Cliff: Yeah, we totally just ran into that wall!
Maria: No, you guys did! Oh, my poor segway…
(Here I'll explain… ahem, well, the three were riding their segways down the street and realized that there was a wall ahead but they couldn't find the breaks so Fayt and Cliff crashed into the wall while Maria flipped off of her segway just in time and now she is sad because it dead…)
KTAH: … ugh, Jack! Bring me a soda!
Jack: Huh, fine! (hands him a soda)
KTAH: Cool… (Glug glug glug) Ahhhh… that's damned good! All right, let's continue!
(pushes the button to switch back to the story)
Jack: So, when are you gonna write another Radiata story?
KTAH: Oh, gawd, just shaddup about tha—wait, what the?
Jack: What?
KTAH: The button didn't switch the story! Damn button!
(slams the button)
Maria: Sniff… poor segway… it'll be ok…
Fayt: Psst, WTF is up with her?
Cliff: I dunno.
Fayt: Ok, well, now we're hoofin' it!
Random Civilian #5: Golf carts for sale! Come, one and all! An ancient artifact can be yours for just 10,000 Fol!
Fayt: That's it! Cliff, buy that golf cart!
Cliff: B-but this is the money that I won from our bet—
Fayt: Shut up! (swipes the money) I'll have one golf cart please!
Random Civilian #5: Here ya go, sonny! That'll be 10,000 Fol!
(hands over money)
Cliff: M-my money…
Fayt: Come on, guys! Let's ride!
(other two jump in and they ride at 4 miles per hour towards Peterny… however it breaks down about seven minutes later)
Cliff: WTF was that we just wasted all of my money for a slow seven minute ride!
Fayt: Oh, shut up ya pansy.
Maria: Poor segway…
Cliff: Arghoodoodawdawdahdoodawdehdawdoo! (goes into a temper tantrum)
Maria: … sniff…
Fayt: Argh, we're never gonna get there! Now, we're hoofin' it!
ONE MINUTE LATER…
Cliff: Well, we're here…
Fayt: … no fargin way…
Maria: Hey, that's not a word…
Fayt: … whatever… wait, you cheered up?
Maria: Oh, yeah, I fixed it!
(Maria shows her segway, all shiny and stuff, complete with spinning rims and a bell!)
Fayt: Wow, it's even better than before!
Cliff: Wow, I wish mine was as good!
Fayt: … it's still primitive technology though…
Maria: ROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR! (like a lion)
Fayt: OMFG what did I do!
Cliff: Oh, now she is really angry!
Maria: Super Noogie Crotch Attack! (I think that's a FLCL reference… I'm not too sure what it's actually called…)
Fayt: AGH!
Cliff: Ooh, that's gotta hurt!
OUCH… WELL, LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR GOOD FRIENDS NEL AND CROSELL, SHANT WE?
Crosell: …
Nel: …Yo.
Crosell: Ugh, what now?
Nel: Um… I dunno, talk.
Crosell: About what?
Nel: Whatever, just talk dammit!
Crosell: Ugh, this is so annoying… so, um… what's your favorite NFL team?
Nel: Hm… I'd say the Bears.
Crosell: Ugh, I hate that team!
Nel: Well, how 'bout you, then?
Crosell: Me? Why, I like dem Broncos.
Nel: What? Are you kidding me?
Crosell: … ok, I don't like the Broncos.
Nel: Well, who then?
Crosell: … I don't wanna say.
Nel: Crosell…!
(Nel gives Crosell a noogie)
Crosell: N-no! Not the noogie! All right, all right!
Nel: Spill dem beans!
Crosell: … I like the Texans…
Nel: Heh, typical.
Crosell: What?
Nel: Listen, just because they won the Superbowl in 2057 doesn't make them a good team.
Crosell: But they're a good team!
Nel: Oh, shut up.
WOW… WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT SOPHIA THE MAID IS UP TO…
Sophia: …
Albel: … I have to go to the bathroom…
Sophia's Mind: Yes this is my chance to escape!
Sophia: Well, the bathroom is right across the—
Albel: I'm not going anywhere, worm.
Sophia: W-what?
Albel: I'll be listening and I better hear mopping and not footsteps.
(Albel walks to behind a bookshelf)
Sophia: …?
Albel: … ahhhhhhhhhh… worm.
Sophia: Oh, you're not…! Oh, that's so gross!
A COUPLE SECONDS LATER…
Albel: Worm!
Sophia: W-what?
Albel: Clean up behind the bookshelf.
Sophia: N-no way!
Albel: … you don't have a choice. Now go clean it up, worm.
Sophia: Do I at least get a mask?
Albel: GO!
Sophia: Ooh, I hate this so much!
HAHA… OH, WELL… LET'S GET BACK TO PETERNY, SHALL WE?
Maria: Hey, Marietta! Are you guys still alive?
Marietta: I-I think so…
Maria: Oh, shut up I saw you at the party.
Fayt: Geez, this place really is a mess…
Cliff: Not as messy as Albel's hair.
Fayt: Ahahaha—
Maria: Ah, shaddup!
(Maria slaps Fayt)
Fayt: Ow!
Cliff: So, are we able to fly?
Marietta: Ci, she fly. (makes an impression of flying with her hand)
Maria: Really!
Marietta: Of course not! First of all, we're stuck in the ground because of the landing! Not only that, but the main engine has been busted, not to mention the big ass hole in the ground, and then there's the bridge windshield, which is cracked…
55 MINUTES LATER…
Marietta (still): … and that's about all of the damages.
Maria: About all of the damages? The whole ship is pretty much trash now!
Marietta: Well, pretty much.
Fayt: What are they talking about?
Cliff: Ah, who knows?
(Fayt and Cliff played some shogi while they waited)
Maria: Well, how do we fix the ship?
Marietta: … I'm not too sure…
Maria: Oh, come on! You're supposed to be an expert on this stuff!
Marietta: I only graduated from elementary school!
Maria: … oh, come on.
Fayt: I WIN!
Maria: SHUT THE FILL UP!
(throws a salami at Fayt's head, knocking him out)
Cliff: Whoa…
HEY, WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO MIRAGE?
Papa Smurf: Oh, no! It's Gargamel!
Gargamel: Heheh, I've got you now, Smurfs!
Gargamel's Cat: RAWR!
Smurfette: Oh, no!
Papa Smurf: Wait, what's that in the sky?
Smurf with Glasses: It's a Smurf!
All Smurfs: SHUT UP YA DOUSCHEBAG!
Smurf with Glasses: Nobody likes me…
Mirage: ELIMINATINGENEMYNOW…
(Shoots a gigantic beam of light on Gargamel's head, which melts. The cat eats it)
Smurfs: YAY!
… WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THAT? WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT OUR GOOD FRIENDS NEL AND CROSELL ARE DOING?
Nel: Hey, Crosell.
Crosell: You never leave me alone!
Nel: Shut the fly up. Can I test out a new special move on you?
Crosell: … what?
Nel: C'mon, ol' buddy!
Crosell: Ugh, fine, but nothing big.
Nel: Cool! Ok, here it goes.
Crosell: Ugh, why did I do this…
Nel: (takes a big deep breath) Kameha…
Crosell: Wait, that's…!
Nel: … meh…
Crosell: Wait, I change my mind—
Nel: … HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Crosell: NOOOOO!
(Nothing happens.)
Crosell: …?
Nel: Haha, gotcha.
Crosell: Why did you do that?
Nel: I'm bored.
Crosell: Then talk to somebody else!
Nel: Oh, shut up ya big baby. Here, have a Fruit Rollup.
Crosell: Seriously? Yes!
(chomps up the Fruit Rollup)
Nel: … pig.
AND LET'S CHECK WITH ADRAY AND CLAIR…
Both: …
Adray: … seriously, we have no scripts.
Clair: Yeah, wait until next chapter.
Both: … get out.
OK, IT'S HIGH TIME WE CHECK IN WITH ROGER AND PEPPITA… OH, I DIDN'T GIVE THEM ANYMORE SCRIPTS CUZ I HATE THEM… WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT ALBEL AND SOPHIA ARE UP TO…
Sophia: Yes!
Albel: …? Worm.
Sophia: I have finally completed all of the jobs that I have been assigned!
Albel: … so what?
Sophia: Now I can go to my dear Fayt and kiss him!
Albel: … nope, worm.
Sophia: W-what?
Albel: Now that you're done, you're going down to the dungeon… worm.
Sophia: B-but I'm too pretty for jail!
Albel: Come on, worm.
(drags Sophia down to the dungeon)
Sophia: NOOOOOO!
WOW… WELL, LET'S FINALLY GET BACK TO FAYT AND THE OTHERS…
Marietta: Let's see, to fix the ship…
Fayt: … we need 1 titanium sheet…
Maria: … 10 plates of bronze…
Cliff: … some copper wire…
Marietta: … an M&M…
Fayt: … a Skittle…
Maria: … taste the rainbow…
Cliff: … a moose…
Marietta: … a bottle of Pimp Juice…
Fayt: … wait, what?
Marietta: Oh, I read that wrong, a bottle of Apple Juice…
Fayt: … oh…
Maria: … a paperclip…
Cliff: … a goat…
Marietta: … wait, did you say goat and moose?
Fayt: … another bottle of Apple Juice…
Maria: … some guy named Albedo…
KTAH: An Xenosaga reference.
Cliff: … a giraffe…
Marietta: … seriously, we don't need any animals…
Fayt: … a buster sword…
KTAH: A Final Fantasy VII reference.
Maria: … a Maid's uniform…
Cliff: … a zebra…
Marietta: … ok, stop with the animals…
Fayt: … a dragon's toenail…
Maria: … ew… a copy of a Kill Bill DVD…
Cliff: …
Marietta's Mind: DON'T EVEN SAY ANOTHER ANIMAL!
Cliff: … a pencil…
Marietta: Whew… a glass of Cookie Crisp…
Fayt: … a copy of a game called Radiata Stories…
Jack: Hey!
KTAH: Heheh…
Maria: … a platypus…
Marietta: … now you're naming animals?
Cliff: … and finally, a thousand rubberbands.
Maria: Wow, that list was incredibly long.
Fayt: Tell me about it.
Marietta: Well, that's because of—
Maria: All of the damage, we know.
Fayt: Well, let's get to gatherin'!
Cliff: You are a nerd.
Fayt: Shut the fizz up!
Mirage: LEANBACK, LEANBACK…
Cliff: Oh, geez, she's back.
Mirage: DROPITLIKEITISHOT…
Maria: She seems more broken than usual…
Fayt: At least she isn't singing any Ying Yang songs anymore.
Marietta: There you are Mirage! Where have you been?
Mirage: REBOOTINGSYSTEM… What are my coordinates?
Marietta: You're on the Diplo.
Mirage: I see. Tell me, what is my objective?
Marietta: Help collect these things for Maria, Fayt, and Cliff.
Cliff: Yo.
Mirage: Let's see… 1 sheet of titanium…
50 MINUTES LATER…
Mirage: … and finally, a thousand rubberbands.
Fayt: Exactly!
Maria: There, do you got the list memorized, Mirage?
Mirage: Affirmative.
Maria: Good.
(Maria burns the list)
Fayt: WTF?
Cliff: OMFG!
Marietta: MY PAPER!
Maria: Now that'll destroy any evidence that we were here!
Fayt: Maria, it'll be hard for us to eliminate all evidence of us being here when a gigantic metal hunkajunk is sitting in the middle of the most passed through town on the planet!
Cliff: Yeah, and why would we destroy evidence of us being here in the first place?
Maria: Cuz of the UP3!
Cliff: Oh, shut up with all of that jibba jabba!
Maria: Besides, I have a way to camouflage our ship!
5 MINUTES LATER…
Maria: There!
(Maria has thrown her rubber ducky blanket over the ship, covering only the wing)
Maria: So?
Fayt: Wow, you're such a genius.
Cliff: Oh, yeah, they'll never find us.
Maria: Good, now let's go!
(Maria, Fayt, and Cliff ride their segways out of town to the north, followed by Mirage, who is skating with her heelies)
IN PALMIRA PLAINS…
Fayt: So, what are we going for first?
Maria: I'm not sure. Hey, Mirage! List item number one, please!
Mirage: SEARCHING… NODATAFOUND…
Maria: Wh-what?
Cliff: You've gotta be kiddin' me!
Fayt: She forgot! I knew it was a bad idea to burn that paper!
Maria: Luckily, I made a spare!
Fayt: Whoa, when did you make that?
Maria: Last night! It took me a painstaking hour to write all of it down!
Fayt: Wow!
Cliff: Good job, Maria!
Maria: I know, cuz' I'm bossy.
Fayt: Hey, now I wouldn't go that far…
Maria: SUPER SEGWAY SMASH!
(smacks Fayt in the head with her segway before jumping back onto it)
Fayt: Ow my eye! I almost lost my balance—I LOST MY BALANCE!
(Fayt falls and rolls 25 feet)
Cliff: Wow.
Mirage: NOWPLAYING… Wait a minute! Girl, why ya trippin' like dat?
Cliff: Oh, come on Mirage I hate that song!
Maria: SUPER SEGWAY SMASH!
(smacks Cliff in the face with her segway before jumping back onto it)
Cliff: Ow my nose! Ugh, good thing that I'm a Klausian! You see kids, Klausians always have perfect balance—OMFG I LOST MY BALANCE!
(Cliff falls and rolls 26 feet! A NEW RECORD!)
Maria: All right! I win!
Mirage: ACTUALLYIWIN.
Roger: W-wait! I don't even have a scrIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPTTTTTTT!
(Mirage smacks Roger away, rolling him a humongous 20,000 miles! A NEW--)
Maria: No, shut up! SUPER SPECIAL ULTIMATE SEGWAY BATTLE ROYALE!
(smacks Mirage with her segway before jumping back onto it. Mirage rolls an extremely huge distance: 100,000 kilometers! A NEW RECORD!)
Maria: Yeah, dat's right, foo'. Now, get up all of ya (except Roger)!
Fayt & Cliff: Yeah, hold on.
Mirage: AFFIRMATIVE.
Fayt: So, what do we need anyway?
Maria: Um… let's see, we need… a sheet of titanium.
Cliff: Is… there any of that on this planet?
Maria: Nope.
Fayt: Oh well this rock'll do.
Maria: Ok, now we need… 10 plates of bronze… none of that on this planet.
Cliff: I have 100 pennies.
Maria: There we go! Now we need… a copper wire.
Fayt: …
Cliff: …
Maria: …
Mirage: CUZIBESTUNTIN'LIKEMYDADDY.
All three (not Mirage): To Nel's then.
(The four ride to Nel and Crosell to get the copper wire from the Thunder Arrow)
IN THE MEANTIME, LET'S SEE WHAT NEL AND CROSELL ARE UP TO…
Nel: Yo.
Crosell: What?
Nel: I ain't no average bear, man.
Crosell: Are you high?
Nel: Food no!
Crosell: … are you Yogi?
Nel: WTF shut up.
Crosell: Ok…
Nel: Yo.
Crosell: …
Nel: Answer me dillweed!
Crosell: What?
Nel: Do a Bill Cosby impersonation.
Crosell: Oh come on I ain't doing that.
Nel: Please?
Crosell: No.
Parsec: Pleeeeeaaaaase? (does his creepy wooing dance)
Jack: Hey, I remember that! That was creepy!
KTAH: A Radiata reference.
Crosell: WTF was that!
Nel: Hm?
Crosell: Nevermind. Anyway, I'm not doing that.
Nel: Doing what?
Crosell: …?
Nel: … are you high?
Crosell: I'm lost.
Fayt: NEL!
Nel: Oh, it's that kid.
Fayt: We need copperwire—AGH I CAN'T STOP THIS THING!
(Fayt drives into Crosell's face)
Crosell: Ow my fanning face!
Fayt: Sorry.
Nel: You need copperwire? Sorry, I gots nuttin'.
Maria: There's some in that hunkajunk over there! (points to the Thunder Arrow)
Nel: But we need that.
Cliff: So do we.
Fayt: Please?
Nel: Oh whatever it's not like it's mine anyway.
All three: Cool!
Cliff: Wait, where's Mirage now?
Maria: Hopefully she's not setting up another party.
Fayt: Yeah.
Maria: Ok, so now we need an M&M.
Crosell: I have one stuck in my beard.
Maria: Cool.
Nel: I'll get it.
(Nel rips the M&M out of Crosell's beard, causing an immense amount of pain)
Crosell: OW!
Nel: Here.
Cliff: Ew, it's all hairy.
HEY, WHY DON'T WE CHECK IN WITH ALBEL…
Albel: … ugh this is boring.
Runologist #1: Hey, what's wrong with you?
Albel: … I… need… Cosmo… MAGAZINE!
Runologist #1: Here ya go.
Albel: Awesome! It's the newest one!
WTF? WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT THE MAID IS UP TO…
Sophia: This is—
WELL, LET'S GET BACK TO THE GROUP, SHALL WE?
Fayt: Ok, we got a Skittle, a moose, a bottle of Apple Juice, and a paperclip out of Crosell's beard. Anything else in there that we need?
Maria: No, just a toilet.
Nel: So that's where that went!
Crosell: I got a lot of stuff in my hair.
Cliff: So, uh, what do we need now?
Maria: Hold on now. Let's take five.
Fayt: Cool wit' me.
Cliff: I'm gonna go climb a tree.
(Cliff runs to a tree and begins climbing it)
Nel: So, what do you need all of this stuff for?
Maria: Oh, we need this to fix our ship.
Nel: … y-your ship?
Maria: Yeah, we were flying over Peterny and something shot us down.
Nel: …
Crosell: …
Nel in Crosell's Ear: Yo, don't tell them that we were the ones that shot them down.
Crosell in Nel's Ear: Yeah, they'll probably flock us up.
Fayt: What are you guys whispering for?
Nel: Oh, nuttin'.
Crosell: Yeah, we were just talkin' about… Cliff!
Cliff: … what?
Fayt: Oh, ok.
Maria: Hey, Nel.
Nel: Y-yeah?
Maria: Why don't you actually wear an outfit?
Nel: This is an outfit.
Maria: No, that's some skimpy ninja thing going on.
Nel: This is formal Runologist wear.
Maria: That's formal?
Nel: Well, what do you think I should wear then?
Maria: …!
TEN MINUTES LATER…
(Nel is dressed up as Shion from Xenosaga III… yes yet another of my countless references)
Maria: Lookin' good!
Nel: … I feel weird like this.
Albel: Yo guys! Check out this maga—
(Albel looks at Nel, and he feels all tingly inside his stomach)
Albel's Mind: Wh-when did she become so… not wormy?
Albel: H-hey Nel…
Nel: Wait, did you just call me Nel?
Albel: AUGH I mean… h-hey maggots.
Fayt: Well, you seem happy today.
Albel: That's because I just read the newest issue of Cosmo magazine.
Fayt: Y-you read Cosmo?
Albel: But of course… the hairstyles are very intricate.
Cliff: What a doofus.
Albel: Want me to cut out your throat, maggot!
Fayt: Hey, c'mon, this isn't a time for fighting!
Albel: I'll decapitate you too!
Fayt: EEK!
Maria & Nel: All right, that's enough kids!
Fayt, Cliff, & Albel: Y-yes mams.
Crosell: You all are so freaky.
Nel: Want another noogie?
Maria: Make that a double noogie.
Crosell: N-no, I'm fine! Please, carry on!
Nel: That's a good boy. Here's a Scooby Snack.
(Nel throws a Scooby Snack in the air)
Crosell: YES!
(Crosell jumps in the air, but the chain around his neck prevents him from reaching it)
Nel: Stupid dragon.
Crosell: WAAAAAAH I WANT MY SCOOBY SNACK!
Nel: Oh, shuttup here it is.
Crosell: YES!
(Crosell chomps on the dog treat and smiles like the Grinch)
Nel: Ew you look like the Grinch.
(See what I mean?)
Maria: Ok enough dillydallying! Fayt, Cliff, Albel! Let's go get the rest of those materials!
Albel: W-wait, why do I have to go?
Maria: Cuz you're my slave.
Albel: Wh-what!
Maria: Remember that bet?
A FEW MONTHS AGO…
Maria: Yo Albel.
Albel: What, worm?
Maria: If you can't spell the word Caramel, then you're gonna be my slave.
Albel: Hmph, whatever. If I win, you'll dress up as a worm.
Maria: Deal.
Albel: Ok… let's see…
(Albel begins to sweat)
Albel: K—
Maria: WRONG! I WIN!
Albel: WHAT! NOOOOO!
Maria: Now you're my slave. Oh, by the way, I dress up as a worm for fun.
(Maria throws on a worm costume and wiggles away)
Albel: WOOOOOORM!
BACK TO THE PRESENT…
Albel: Oh, no… worm.
Maria: Yup. Now, let's go, idiots!
Fayt: Yes mam!
Cliff: Right.
Albel: Hmph… worm.
Nel: See ya guys later.
Crosell: Hey, shouldn't we go help them. After all, I can fly.
Nel: No way, if they find out that we shot down their ship they'll sue us.
Crosell: Oh, ok…
(Maria drives her segway while Fayt drives Cliff's segway and Cliff rides on his pantlegs while Albel hops on a nearby broomstick and flies like a witch)
KTAH: Hold on.
Jack: Hm?
KTAH: Where the hell did Mirage go?
Jack: Wha? You didn't plan this?
KTAH: No I planned for her to blow up.
Jack: Wow.
KTAH: Geez! Yo, Auron!
Auron: What?
Jack: Whoa who are you!
KTAH: Go find Mirage!
Auron: Sorry, but this is my story and you're not—
KTAH: Then buh-bye!
(Auron drops down the alligator pit)
Jack: Hey that guy was cool!
KTAH: Yeah, but he was too uptight. Yo Wakka!
Wakka: Yeah, mon?
KTAH: Go find Mirage for me!
Wakka: A'right, I be back in a while!
(Wakka disappears into the story)
Jack: Who was that dork?
KTAH: That was Wakka.
Jack: Oh.
KTAH: …
Jack: …
KTAH: …
Jack: … so are you gonna—
KTAH: Don't even ask me if I'm going to write another Radiata story.
Jack: Come on…
KTAH: Shut up. Now I'm gonna go play Disgaea, so don't bother me. And remember all readers, this is all a big joke (I like Auron, seriously!). I hope none of ya are offended. Well, this is KTAH signing off, and no flames! Review if ya read or I'll lose another finger…
Jack: Another!