Hello there! Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews! We're still at the very start but I hope with all of my heart you'll come to love this story even more! I promise you, I have quite a lot of things in store ahead, so just stay tuned and you won't be disappointed! ;) Fweus-san thank you very much for your really nice review, don't worry honey when I said 'first grade' I meant first grade of high school. School system in Japan separates high school from the other educational stages so it's okay to refer to it as 'first grade' or 'first year' and a student of those as 'freshman'. At least I think… I'm 95%, but not 100% sure. If I'm still wrong can anybody please tell me and I'll correct it ASAP. Constructive criticism is always welcome, don't hesitate to point out any mistakes that you may come across and I'll fix them immediately. Again Fweus-san thank you for pointing it out, it meant that you wanted to help me and I really appreciate that! ;) Thank all of you guys for the reviews! I'm literally dying for them… I love you! :)

"…Rin?"

Oh great. Rin thought, as he lay there and watched with dull and lifeless eyes his teacher. School-doctor, whatever. The older man's facial expression was emitting slight amounts of shock, confusion and worry. Surprisingly, considering he wasn't one of the most expressive people ever. What for, was beyond Rin's understanding. This man was a stranger to him. The fact that he was seeing him at school didn't mean anything, he didn't know him.

Before he knew it, Neuhaus had run and kneeled beside him. "What happened to you? What are you doing here? Are you hurt anywhere?" He kept asking, running his hands all over the boy's upper body in a frenzied manner. Rin didn't bother to push him off. Why was that man even bothering… "Shit, you're all drenched to the bone! You're chilling cold…" Neuhaus sighed in exasperation. Then he stood up but immediately bent down, pulling Rin from his arm, trying to make him stand. "Come on." Rin didn't react. "Come on Rin, my house is around the corner. We'll get you all warmed up in there, okay?"

Finally, it dawned on Rin. He looked up to the doctor, wearing an unreadable expression, his eyes trying to search the other man's face and understand his motives. He seemed genuinely worried… not extremely worried, but genuinely. What a great mask. It was almost perfect. Except for the fact that Rin wouldn't buy it. He thought he understood what it meant when a stranger offers to 'warm you up'. And he only thought about running away only a second before he dismissed it. He hated himself so much right then, he thought he deserved a punishment. Let's just get this over with. I hope he's quick. He closed his eyes and slowly got up. Neuhaus offered a hand to help him but Rin just slapped it away, proving that he could walk around without any help. He knew he irritated the other with that. But the doctor never showed it. He did stand close to him until they reached the nearby apartment building, just in case.

Without any words being told, they climbed up the second floor. Rin watched quietly as Neuhaus took out some keys and unlocked a door at their left. "Come in." He told the boy, looking at him, expecting him to get inside. And Rin simply walked in. He stood in the hall, taking off his shoes. Fortunately, those hadn't gotten drenched like the rest of him. He then saw Neuhaus walking past him, going somewhere further into the house. Rin slowly followed him too, until he reached the living room. There was a kitchen at his right, a TV, coffee table and two black couches around it at his left, and further in a hallway and a wall, meaning that there had to be rooms at each end of the corridor. He noticed Neuhaus appearing again from the left side, holding something. "Here." He gave it to Rin. It was an azure bathrobe. "Go get a warm bath and we'll talk later about how you got yourself into this." He raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. Rin took the bathrobe but he couldn't resist rolling his eyes as he walked past his doctor. "The bathroom is at your right!" He heard him saying and he obeyed.

As he stepped into the bathroom, he was glad to notice that there was a key on the door. Not that it mattered… Not that he was afraid or anything… He had taken his decision, he'd go through it. He just wanted a bath in peace, he was really tired and above everything, cold. He locked the door and sighed in relief unconsciously. Then he quickly pulled off his shirt. It felt so good to finally take the wet clothing away from his skin. He hesitated a bit, but then he took off his pants and shocks too, as they were extremely uncomfortable. He swallowed hard and then quickly pulled his underwear down too. Then he swiftly ran to the bathtub, filled it with steamy hot water and got in, shivering from the wonderful sensation of warmth surrounding him, but also hugging his knees against his chest, as if trying to protect himself from something. It was so stupid. What was he thinking, already so deeply into this? He had decided he would do this. It shouldn't be so hard. He just had to spread his legs, let the other lay above him and in ten minutes max, everything would be over… He just had to stay calm through it all. And how much could it hurt anyway? Pain was definitely overrated at that matter, yeah, that's right! Rin tried putting a finger inside him to prove himself right…

IT FUCKING HURTS!

…Now, this was not good. Rin had never imagined that it would hurt that much! …But, but there would be lubricant, right? But what if the other didn't want it? Come on he could at least beg for that one! Rin grabbed the body cream near him, poured some in his finger and then tried to put it in again. It was better now, yeah… But still… It was just one finger… He started panicking. What was he doing there? What was he thinking, letting another man screw him just because… just because he…

Panic gave its place to depression. Because he battered someone. He harmed a person badly. Because he was always made fun of. Because he was abandoned. Because he had no one. Because he was lonely. Because he was a bad person. Because he was a demon.

After he applied some shampoo and rinsed himself off of it, along with the body cream he used to wash up the rest of himself, he got out of the tub. He felt kind of refreshed and calmer now. He grabbed the hair dryer and started drying himself. It was really a great feeling. Warm and dry all over again… he wondered how much time would pass until he would have to take another bath. Minutes? Hours?

He turned the hair dryer off and finally dared to look himself in the mirror, straight into his own eyes. It was risky, he might even suddenly allow sympathy for himself to take over. But he had to convince himself to do this. His pride would never allow it if he did it half-heartedly. Fortunately his doctor was quite attractive, despite his missing eye and despite how much older he was than Rin. He wondered how great he must have looked when he was at Rin's age and with both of his eyes intact. Whatever. Rin turned and unlocked the door decisively.

The first thing he noticed was that there were slippers in front of the bathroom's door. He smiled faintly and then put them on. Well at least someone had thought about that for him… Or just in order not to mess up the floor… He was hearing noises from the kitchen, indicating that the other man was there. He slowly opened the door and found himself in the bedroom. There were probably more in there, but Rin's mind was only focused at the big, double bed. He walked in and hesitantly sat at the edge. The mattress was soft and comfortable but Rin kept cringing like he had sat on eggshells. He wrapped his arms around his body, trying to stop the trembling, clutching to the only piece of fabric on him for dear life. He heard footsteps approaching. He remembered that he hadn't closed the door. He looked up and saw Neuhaus at the doorstep.

"Oh you're all done with the bathroom." The doctor just commented and casually walked in, opening the closet. He pulled out some clothes from it. "Here. I can lend you a pair of pajamas until your clothes get dried." And he did place a pair of dark blue pajamas and clean underwear next to where Rin was sitting on the bed. "They might be a bit too big for you but bear with it. I'll put your clothes on the radiator so it shouldn't take long until they… are you cold?" He had to interrupt his own speech as he was seeing Rin hugging himself desperately, eyes clenched shut and shivering a bit. He took some steps forward, so that he was standing near him. "Hey, are you okay?" He put his hand on Rin's left shoulder.

Shit, shit, fuck, fuck, I can't do it, I can't do it, there's absolutely no way I can do it! That was all Rin could think of. His previous resolution had flown right out of the window now that Neuhaus was standing so close to him… and touching him… He had clenched his legs so tightly together that one could believe they were glued. But he wouldn't cry, absolutely not in front of this person! He took a deep breath before answering: "Yeah, I'm fine." Thank God he hadn't stuttered!

No, something is definitely wrong with you. Neuhaus thought and narrowed his eye. Deciding he would better have Rin talk to him after he had calmed down a little (and if) he withdrew his hand and stepped away. "Get dressed. I'll make some hot chocolate for you as you explain everything to me." And with those words, he got out of the room, leaving Rin alone and at a total loss.

Okay, what had just happened?

Rin looked at the clothes right beside him. Wait. Why hadn't that man just pushed him down on the bed? Was he agonizing that badly for the past half hour over nothing at all? Even though this man had been nothing but kind to him, Rin wanted to throw an anvil right at his face. God, pissing him off, always pissing him off so badly! 'Why were you late Rin?' 'Where did you get those bruises from Rin?' 'Are you getting abused Rin?' Shut up it's none of your fucking business already! Always so cynic, so aloof, so damn preachy! Like he actually cared! And if he wasn't going to fuck him, he should have just said so!

He fumed as he put the pajamas on. Yes, they were full, but they were better than nothing… But… What if the other man enjoyed seeing him in his clothes? What if that chocolate had some kind of drug in it? Rin shrugged. Whatever happens, happens. Not to mention that this train of thought now seemed almost ridiculous. Just with a couple of sentences Rin had felt safe… But he'd never let his guard down.

He walked towards the kitchen hesitantly. Neuhaus saw him approaching, much like a cat approaches the person who offers it food, trying to decide if it's a trap or not. "I haven't put anything in the chocolate you know. Come." He said, as he put the green cup with the hot liquid on the table he was standing beside. Though he meant it as a joke, he saw Rin's body stiffen immediately. His hands gripped tightly his own cup, filled with black coffee. He had just confirmed that this would be a hell of a tough case. He saw Rin sitting down and wrapping his fingers around his cup carefully.

"It's hot." Rin just said. The whole atmosphere was weird. Warm and safe, but at the same time, something eating at his heart wouldn't let him relax.

And Neuhaus could see that. "Are you afraid of me?" He asked, as he grabbed a chair and sat right across Rin, with his coffee in hand, leaning a bit towards him. Rin's head shot up and he saw that his doctor was staring right into his eyes, searching for the answer. Strangely he seemed more serious than usual.

"Don't say stupid things." Rin averted his gaze and looked down. Though he seemed calm, his heart started beating faster. He didn't know what he wanted from the other man. Comfort? Soothing words? A wake up call? Maybe sex like he thought before… He knew nothing.

"Okay." Neuhaus nodded and moved back. "Then you wouldn't mind telling me how on earth you found yourself in such a predicament. Right?"

Rin nodded and told him how the punks found him and what they did with the water bottles, leaving out the sexual harassing details. He also told him that he was wondering around the city aimlessly and it was of pure luck that he found himself there, but he didn't tell him the reason why.

Upon hearing everything Rin had to say, Neuhaus sighed. "You know, you're really lucky you got away just with a mere petty bullying like this. This isn't a good neighborhood. It's a very dangerous are of the city, many gangs and muggers and any sorts of criminals can be found here. Just be thankful they only made fun of you. The next time don't come here all by yourself by any means."

"But you live here!" Rin protested. "Aren't you worried about…"

"Are you kidding me?" Neuhaus raised his eyebrow as he interrupted him. "Who is ever going to target me?" He said, as he pointed at his eye patch. "I look more dangerous than half of the lowlifes around here."

"You're still all alone, that's not an excuse." Rin looked away. Neuhaus observed him. So this kid was kind, huh? He already knew it somehow, but that simple comment just confirmed it.

"Hm, you're worried about me?" Neuhaus smirked, but then the smirk turned into a soft smile. "I see."

Rin turned and it was time that he looked at the other in the eye, seriously. "Who are you, anyway?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Neuhaus folded his arms across his chest. "Why, your high school doctor of course."

"I've met enough school doctors in my life. No one would do what you did for me today." Rin informed him. Then his eyes narrowed. "Unless you have an ulterior motive of course." It was time to lay all the cards down. Rin wasn't the type to beat around the bush either way.

"I take it that you don't trust my good intentions?" Neuhaus questioned him, but that was more of a statement than a question too. Things were starting to clear up about this boy.

"There is no such thing." Rin answered harshly. "Every action people take is for their own benefits and only. I don't believe in anything crappy like genuine help or…"

"Wow that is something quite cruel to say, considering it comes from someone who owes his very life to someone else's altruism." Neuhaus bit out and it caught Rin off guard. His eyes widened and he was left speechless for some moments. Apparently Neuhaus knew he was adopted. It wasn't a secret or anything but…

He shot up. "My clothes must have dried off by now. I need to go."

"No, they haven't. Wait." Neuhaus stood up as well. "Sit down. You still haven't told me half of what you must."

"I don't have any obligation to." Rin turned around to exit the room. Before Neuhaus could lecture him about how he actually did because he saved his sorry ass, Rin spoke again: "He was… he was only the exception that confirms the rule. He's dead now, and I…" He slowly turned to his doctor. "I don't trust anyone. I hurt someone today. That's just me, I get angry and hurt people, and I don't want to do that anymore, but I still don't believe in good intentions."

He hurt someone… That's why he came all the way to the other side of the city like a ghost, it was because of guilt. Neuhaus realized. Apparently Rin wasn't just kind, he was too kind for his own good. He was just a confused and lonely kid, without anyone to guide him. Neuhaus sighed. "Just because a couple of bastards showed up in your path, it doesn't mean you should lose all your faith to humanity. There are good people out there. People who deserve your trust and your love. Even if it seems impossible to you right now because you're frustrated from recent events…"

"I can prove it to you." Rin interrupted him.

Neuhaus them saw him walking towards him, looking straight into his eyes. "Excuse-" And then there was nothing he could say, because Rin had just wrapped his arms around his neck, stood at the tip of his toes and he was freaking kissing him right on the lips!

Okay, okay, okay… What? What? Just… Neuhaus' mind drew a blank. End of the story. He couldn't move, he couldn't comprehend what was happening. He could feel the light, soft press on his lips. It was a simple, shallow kiss, but Neuhaus couldn't understand what Rin wanted to tell him with it. Heck, for some moments he had forgotten where he was, who he was with and even his own name! …No probably he remembered who he was with very well. Still, he remained so shocked that he didn't make any attempt to push Rin off.

When Rin finally pulled away, he saw how utterly stunned the other guy was. That confirmed his suspicions that Neuhaus didn't take him from the street to have his way with him. Still… "…Want to do it?" He whispered. Neuhaus slightly opened his mouth, but nothing came out. "Want to do… me?" Rin clarified.

All Neuhaus could see was the tears that threatened to fall from Rin's eyes. How his cheeks were flushed and his whole body was trembling, just like when he had placed his hand on his shoulder in the bedroom. The kid was purely terrified, why was he doing this? He grabbed him from the arms and Rin immediately closed his eyes and braced himself for something… new, something… "Rin, are you getting abused?"

"What…" Where did that cοme from? Rin was momentarily confused and he opened his eyes, surprised. His doctor's expression was fierce and worried.

"Have you done this with anyone else? Has anyone forced you to it?" Please God let the answer be no, let him answer me truthfully no…

"What – no, no I don't!" Rin protested. "I haven't done this before, it's just… it's just that I… I don't know what to do anymore…" What am I saying, mouth stop talking now, stop talking! Rin thought desperately, but it was already too late. I want someone, but I don't know… I'll do anything, even if it's just for a couple of hours or some mere minutes… Even if I know that it's not right, I…

Neuhaus remembered what Rin was trying to prove to him. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the fragile boy and embrace him warmly and tightly, like trying to create a barrier to shield him from everything bad in the world. "I'm not going to take advantage of you. I swear." He felt Rin trembling in his arms, as his quivering hands struggled to return the embrace. "I will protect you. You don't have to do those things to make me accept you. I already have. No matter what anybody else says, you should know that you're a good person and that you deserve the best. Never forget that. Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise." He held Rin's head with his hand, placing it on his chest, running his fingers through the boy's black hair. "You deserve the best. You deserve the best." He kept telling him, trying to assure him.

And finally, Rin burst into tears. All of the pent-up frustration, all the agony, all the helplessness, the loneliness, the disappointment, which were so far kept secretly inside due to his stubbornness, erupted all at once. He screamed and cried and clutched desperately at the man who was holding him for dear life, wishing that he'd never had to let go. His knees gave in so both of them kneeled and sat on the floor, Neuhaus still holding Rin and caressing his back, trying to soothe him as Rin was shedding as many tears as he'd never shed in his whole life before. Oh Rin what were you trying to do here? Punish yourself? Rin… He kept holding him, letting him release all of his pain in his arms.

When Rin finally calmed down, he still didn't want to leave from Neuhaus' embrace. Finally. Finally he had found someone. His pride was now in pieces but that was okay. In a strange way, he didn't feel disgraced, he didn't feel humiliated like he thought he would. In his turn, Neuhaus didn't let him go. He wouldn't mind sitting like this for as long as Rin needed to. They sat there and forgot to count the time. And Rin would probably sit there for all night, if he didn't remember that Yukio might have called. It was a secret pact of them, if one of them didn't even let the other at least a text message to make sure they were okay, then it was a sign that the other should start to worry. Rin was pretty sure Yukio would call him as soon as the lecture was over, and he didn't have his cell-phone with him. "I… I need to go home now…" He spoke softly, his face still hidden in the other man's chest. "My brother… will worry…"

"Okay." Neuhaus replied in the same tone. "Come on, go get dressed." He said as they raised themselves and stood up from the floor. "I'll drive you home." And Rin did as told.

The ride home was silent. Rin noticed that the sky had started to darken. The stuff he did today… He felt better than he had to feel months now, there was no way to deny that. He stole some glances at Neuhaus but that was it. No way was he just his school doctor anymore. So what was he now? Rin decided not to dwell on it. It didn't matter.

After approximately ten minutes, they reached Rin's apartment building. "Here, right?" Neuhaus asked him casually.

"Yeah. Thank you." Rin unfastened his seatbelt. "For everything today." He hesitated a bit, but then he opened the door and walked out of the car. This was kind of awkward right now but… "I-I'll see you in school…?"

Neuhaus smiled. "See you in school. Tomorrow."

And finally, Rin smiled back.

God, he had ages to do that.

Beautiful. Neuhaus thought before seeing Rin waving to him as he got into the building. It seemed like finally, his life had once again a meaning.

A/N: Gosh I can't believe it took me so long to write this… Read and review people please! (although if you've reached this far it's kind of pointless to tell you to read so… review? :P )