Disclaimer: I still don't own any of these characters or the song "Photograph" by Def Leppard, as much as I'd like to. This fic contains much lemony goodness, so if you're underage or just not into that kind of thing, then I kindly suggest that you search elsewhere for your fanfiction fix.
Chapter 2: Reno
A familiar blood red light poured in through the window of an unbelievably messy apartment. At first glance or even at first smell, which was usually about ten feet down the hallway on either side of the door, one would be surprised that the place had not yet been condemned, locked and labeled with a shiny new biohazard sign. A thin layer of dust, crumbs and mold lay over stained furniture, long unwashed dishes and counters and beer bottles whose ages were flirting with antiquity like snow on an indoor landfill. Under rumpled sheets and several discarded bags of snacks, a fuzzy pile of red hair snored loudly and contentedly. The digits on the clock resting on a mound of rancid laundry next to his head blinked from 5:59 to 6:00 and simultaneously turned on the radio.
"Look what you've done to this rock and roll crowd!", Def Leppard blasted as Reno groaned, squinting against the new daylight. He rolled off the bed unceremoniously, his head meeting the ground with a resounding thump.
"Ow!", he moaned weakly as he crawled toward the bathroom. It was just his luck that he should find the only bare spot in the apartment when falling on it. Disrobing on the way, he hopped over his bathroom's resident six foot tall mushroom and into the shower.
"Look what you've done!
I've got to have your photograph!"
Reno hummed along with the radio as he absentmindedly shampooed his hair, then grabbing a bottle and using it as a makeshift microphone to sing along (albeit in a very dissonant way) with the chorus.
"I don't want ya!"
"Photograph!", the backup chimed in. Reno danced awkwardly around the shower.
"I don't need ya!"
"Photograph!"
Sliding out into the hallway, completely dry and fully dressed in a suit stolen from the set of Men in Black, but still clutching the shampoo bottle, Reno belted out the final line of the song's chorus while taking a glorious rockstar-esque position for his audience.
"All I've got is a photograph!"
A fist pounded the off button of the radio, startling Reno and prompting him to look over at the black leather clad sliver-haired miscreant that had interrupted his solo. A single mako blue eye stared back at him, cat-slit pupil widening to take in the sight of his prey.
"Pity", Kadaj said in a tone just above a whisper. "I would have preferred it if you forgot your clothes."
"What the?", Reno stuttered, dropping his shampoo mic into a furry green-grey mold colony. "I thought you were…."
"Dead?", Kadaj responded, inching his way toward Reno as gracefully as he could with his way blocked by a minefield of pizza boxes and Chinese takeout cartons.
"I was. But Mother has found me again. Brought me back and gave me new life so that this time I can accomplish what I failed to do before!"
He approached Reno, stopping only inches away from his face.
"And I'm going to let you help me."
His mouth curled up into a perverse smile as a mischievous grin spread across Reno's face, exposing teeth as white as the driven snow, though soon hidden as he embraced Kadaj and thrust his tongue into his long lost lover's eager mouth.
Pulling the remote control out of his pocket, Reno clicked and pointed at the radio, which crooned Marvin Gaye as Kadaj let himself fall backwards onto a pile of Reno's long forgotten blankets. Breaking their first long, passionate kiss in many, many months, Reno carefully unzipped his lover's leather suit, planting small, brief kisses and caresses on his chest as he worked his way down. He looked into Kadaj's eyes, seeing a glint of nervousness.
"You alright?", he asked, noticing Kadaj's ever increasing heartbeat in addition to his own. In a breathy whisper, Kadaj responded.
"I…I think so. I want this as much as you do…..but Mother said that I should save myself for the blonde twerp."
"What Mother doesn't know can't hurt you. Besides, if she wants you to bang Cloud so badly then wouldn't it be better that you knew what you were doing by the time you got around to him?", Reno grinned evilly as he slowly lowered his hands down Kadaj's sides, sending a distinct shiver up the silver-haired man's spine. Kadaj's breathing grew visibly heavier. Reno could practically see his temperance and lust dueling in his mind. Temperance was almost certainly about to take a nosedive.
As Reno's hands settled on Kadaj's tight ass, Kadaj greedily wrapped his arms around Reno, yanking off both of his shirts over his head and pulling him in for another kiss.
The CD skipped and then stopped as a knock on the door jarred it out of place. Kadaj and Reno both looked at the door, breaking their kiss and staring like deer in headlights.
"Brother! What's taking so long?!"
"Loz!", Kadaj whispered to Reno, his eyes filled with panic.
"We know you're in there, Kadaj", Yazoo's impatient drawl added.
"Hide under something!", Reno whispered to Kadaj, who promptly covered himself with the blankets they had been laying on and kneeled on his hands and knees with his head tucked down between his shoulders so that he would appear to be a footrest or covered coffee table.
"Are you going to open this door or would you make us do it for you?", Yazoo continued.
Reno reluctantly walked over to the door, undid all three of his locks and opened it, only to be narrowly missed by a charging Loz, stepping to the side as he skidded along the floor, putting his head through a wicker basket. Yazoo sighed as Loz pulled his head out, then he turned to Reno.
"Where is Kadaj?", he asked, scanning the room with a disgusted sneer on his face.
"What are you talking about?! And what are you guys doing back here?!", Reno exclaimed, successfully feigning confusion. Loz whimpered, rubbing his scalp and picking pieces of wood out of his hair.
"Stop whining and go sit down on that ottoman. It's the only thing in here that isn't covered in filth."
He turned back to Reno. Kadaj held as still as he could and stifled a yelp of pain, for Loz had plopped himself down square in the middle of his back. Yazoo, meanwhile, eyed Reno suspiciously, more specifically his lack of a shirt.
"Though if I'm not mistaken, it appears my brother and I have interrupted something."
"What do you mean?", Reno replied, trying with all his stealth not to sound conspicuous.
"Do you always play such erotic music while getting dressed? Usually it's done the other way around."
"Oh that? Yeah, I forgot to change the CD from when Tseng was over last night."
Yazoo studied Reno for a moment in silence, then finally appeared to be satisfied with his answer.
"No, I can see why he would have avoided this place, disgusting as it is. He always was the pansy of the family."
Kadaj's eyelid twitched, the tension building up inside as a result of having one brother use him as a chair and the other one insult him.
"Well, it was nice seeing you guys again, but I really should be going…"
"Not so fast", Yazoo said definitively, gripping Reno's shoulder as he tried to walk away.
"If Kadaj hasn't come around to invite you yet, then it would only be polite for us to do it instead."
"Invite me to what?"
"To beat that kid who keeps murdering big brother! So we can finally please mother and help big brother destroy this pathetic planet once and for all!", Loz piped up.
"He didn't ask you, pea brain", Yazoo dismissed him. Loz's triumphant expression quickly soured into one of shameful embarrassment. He suddenly became very interested in Reno's closest mold colony.
"He means, Reno, that we are going to destroy Cloud. And you are going to help us."
"But why would you need me?! And I'll be toast once Shinra or AVALANCHE find out what I'm up to! They could take me down in two seconds flat!"
Yes, it involved swallowing a big chunk of his normally gargantuan ego to admit that, but an excuse was an excuse.
"By the time they find out anything it will be too late. And our methods have improved greatly since last time. Mother has come up with a new plan for us."
He took Reno's chin in his hand and touched his forehead to his own, whispering to him.
"One that I know you'll enjoy as well."
Reno was silent for a while, freeing his hand and backing off from Yazoo.
"As fun as that sounds, I at least have to pretend like I'm on Shinra's side for a while. And it'll look really suspicious if I disappear the same day that you guys decide to make like zombies and resurrect yourselves."
"Very well. But I will be expecting you to join us when the time comes."
Yazoo pulled Reno's mouth back to his, kissing him and then calling to Loz.
"Let's get going. We need to find Kadaj and Cloud as soon as possible."
Loz got up and shuffled out the door, followed by Yazoo. Reno closed the door behind them, listening for the sound of their footsteps to grow distant.
"Brother, I don't like Reno's apartment. The chair was breathing.", Loz complained.
Finally, they were gone. Reno breathed a sigh of relief. In the blink of an eye, Kadaj leaped out from under the blanket, pulled a dagger from his boot and held it to Reno's throat as he pinned his lover against the wall.
"YOU'VE BEEN SCREWING AROUND WITH MY BROTHERS?!", he yelled at a Reno who looked frightened enough to wet himself.
"No! It's not like that!", Reno stammered. "He took me in the back room and did stuff to me while I was almost out cold! You remember that time where you beat me up cause I was supposed to guard Rufus, right?!"
"He 'knew you would enjoy it'"?!, Kadaj pressed the dagger harder against his throat, sending a trickle of blood down his chest.
"I just made him think that I did so he'd go easier on me!"
"And did you enjoy it?"
"No…"
"Reno…."
"Well….not that much…."
Kadaj stomped off, throwing his hands up in defeat. He tried to lock himself in the bathroom, but after a few seconds opened the door and instead headed for the bedroom while mumbling "fucking creepy ass mushroom" and proceeded to slam the door.
Reno called through the door.
"Look, Kadaj, I'm really sorry. I didn't know that you would get so upset about me having sex with Yazoo. I thought he would have told you or something."
"Go away! I'm not talking to you!"
"It's my house! How can you tell me to go away?!"
"Not listening!!!!"
"If you're not listening, then how do you know how to respond to me?"
"La la la la I can't hear you!!!!"
"Fine! If you're going to be that way then I'll just go find Cloud with Yazoo and Loz and you can stay here and miss your little reunion thing."
"NO!", Kadaj screamed, flinging the door open.
Reno chuckled.
"So you're coming with?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
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As much as I enjoy writing this, I'm starting to see this fic as earning me a one way ticket to Hell. Ah well, I can't say it's the first thing I've done to deserve that.