Chapter 2: Reintroduction

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, and I'm not making any money here. All ideas are my own.

Warnings: future m/m pairing, language (Duo's in this chapter, don't ya' know), descriptions of violence, discussions of depression

Pairings: 1x2, background 3x4

AN: So glad to see the few reviews, as well as the favorites and the follows. How encouraging of you all! Thanks especially to those who think these are solid cannon characters. I'm trying to walk the line of developing the characters (because writing from the perspective of an emotionally clueless 15-year-old is boring!) and staying true to the innate parts of their personalities and the reality of their pasts. If you persist in reading this story, I suppose I would just caution that recovery (from depression, ED, addiction, etc.) is an iterative process. In other words, don't expect things to progress in a nice straight line.

"Heero, you seem agitated." Heero thought about it for a moment and, yes, that seemed like an apt description for what he was feeling.

"I suppose I am."

The therapist, Dr. Simler, leaned back in his chair and nodded. "Tell me about it."

Heero shifted minutely in his chair, as close to fidgeting as he generally came. "Relena has arranged a gathering for this evening. I'm attending, and on a certain level, I know I want to go. But there will be people there who I haven't seen in some time…" He trailed off, but Dr. Simler remained quiet, so he felt obliged to continue. "Quatre will be there, I haven't seen him in about four months. I'm sure he will want to catch up and know about my…progress."

"You've come a long way over the past four years, Heero. Your friends see that."

"I suppose being around them makes me feel," he searched for the words for a few seconds, "It makes me feel guilty. I see now that I must have scared them when I…went away."

"When you disappeared, Heero. That guilt is natural. People who cared about you thought you were dead."

"Duo will be there as well."

The doctor set up straighter. "Your former partner?"

"You know who Duo is. I haven't seen him since I…returned." Saying he'd been found sounded wrong. No, that was immature. "I mean to say, I haven't seen him since he found me." His training during his childhood, before the war, had been exacting, but it had left him a ticking time bomb. Two years of working with the Preventers. Two years of a working partnership with Duo, a friendship even, something he'd never expected to have in his life. And then, he sighed internally. It was all so predictable really. If there was one thing four years of therapy had taught him, it was that. Damn. He hated when his subconscious admitted the usefulness of this weekly exercise with the doctor.

"Have you had any contact with him in the past four years?"

"Minimal," Heero responded, and continued after momentary reflection, "but you've had contact with him I hear."

"Heero, you know I won't speak about other patients with you." Patients. Heero hated the title.

"I'm aware. I only thought you might have mentioned it. You know I've been concerned with how we left things."

"Have I not encouraged you to try and address the issue?"

"Certainly, but-"

"Do you want my advice, Heero?" the doctor cut him off.

"No, I…yes." This was exhausting. At least if the doctor told him what he thought he ought to do, he could claim to have done so next week. Scratch that. The newfound knowledge that Duo was also still in the Reintegration Program complicated that plan, just as it complicated his interactions with Trowa and the other two who, by their own admission, still occasional spoke to the doctor. Being strategic was more difficult when you weren't aware of what others might say. Oh well, he'd asked for it now.

"I think you should go to the party and try to enjoy yourself."

Really? This was the expert opinion a PhD and a Preventers salary produced from this guy? It was much easier to be philosophical about this whole process with Relena. During, it always left him feeling mildly ridiculous.

"I'll try."

"Good. Now, our hour is up. I'll see you next week, Heero.

Relena had once tried to explain to Heero that showing up to a party exactly on time was rude. This was during the brief span of time after the end of the last war when he had entertained the notion that dating Relena wasn't a horrible idea. He still held to that. It's hadn't been a horrible idea. After his disappearance and subsequent reappearance, they had struck up what was, to him, a very rewarding friendship. It was something he needed in his life, and he doubted it would have been so freely given had they not already attempted a romantic relationship that failed so absolutely. He felt grateful to her, as we was relatively certain she had run some sort of interference for him with Une. Not that he imagined Une would ever fire him; he was certain she wanted all the former teenage terrorists where she could keep an eye on them. But still, the softened blow had been appreciated, and Relena never mentioned it.

And she never had convinced him that showing up late to anything was polite. It did explain a lifetime of being the first to show up to any non-military function.

Thus, when she was the one who answered the door at the Winner estate, already laughing at his punctuality, he wasn't surprised. He wasn't surprised either that Trowa was already there, giving him a nod from the couch, as Quatre sprung up from his seat beside him. Heero held out his hand for Quatre, which the other man took, but, instead of shaking it, he used it to draw Heero into a brief, if stifling hug. Wufei and Sally arrived some twenty minutes later, attempting to pretend they hadn't arrived together. By this time, he'd already drank at least half of the three fingers of bourbon Trowa had poured for him, and he told himself to slow down. He was nervous, a feeling he hated, but when he drank he usually became dark and withdrawn. He knew this because Relena had told him so outright.

Noin showed up with Zech by her side around the time Heero had finished his first drink. Well damn, there went the doctor's 'try to enjoy yourself advice.' Milliardo Peacecraft was, potentially, one of Herro's least favorite people in the entirety of the Earth Sphere. He disliked the notion that two people, himself and Zech, could agree on so much yet take such strikingly different approaches. He saw Relena giving him what were, he could only assume, significant looks from across the room. Apology? No, that wasn't right. She was trying to placate him? Seemed more plausible. His attention was drawn away from scrutinizing Relena's facial expressions as Quatre moved to occupy the seat next to him at the small bar in the den. Things, it seemed, were just not going to get better.

"It's so good to see you come out Heero."

He turned his gaze to meet Quatre's earnest one. "It's good to see you, Quatre." He meant that. Quatre had been a good friend to him, and he should probably try harder to return the favor. Well, that was what he was doing now, right?

"How have you been?" The tone of the question implied that a simple 'good' would not satisfy.

"I've been well. Work has been calm. You saw me for the New Year, Quatre. Not a lot has happened since then. Things are calm," he summed up, reiterating the point. This seemed to satisfy his friend. And they both looked up to see Wufei headed their way. Wufei, who didn't ask so much of Heero.

"Yuy. Winner." They each got a nod from the Chinese man. "Barton told me there was bourbon over here?"

"Ah, yes!" Quatre scrambled around the back of the bar to play barkeep for a moment, finding Wufei a glass and refilling Heero's.

Wufei took a sip of his drink before regarding Heero for a moment, "How are things in Technical?"

"Boring as hell," he attempted to be candid. "And in Operations?"

"The same. A few local things for this conference, but mostly quiet."

Heero nodded his agreement, and he was just beginning to feel as though, maybe, he would enjoy the evening, when Zech appeared, leaning on the bar next to Heero's chair. Heero felt some of the hairs on his neck stand up. "Heero Yuy," and the way his name sounded in Zech's voice wasn't pleasant, "I see you've crawled out from under your rock. It's nice to see you're still among the land of the living."

Heero could almost hear his own teeth grinding, so he took a pull of the bourbon in his white knuckled grip. "It turns out a man can't just disappear forever. Sorry to disappoint. And you're in from Mars?"

"Yes, things are under control. I'm only in for a short time unfortunately. So nice of my sister to bring us all together again, and thanks for your hospitality." This Zech said with a tip of his glass toward Quatre, who gave a good natured smile.

"My pleasure."

Zech pushed himself back from his position leaning on the bar with a smoothness that reflected a childhood of fine breeding. "Excuse me now, I must attend to my fiancé." The three men watched Zech's progress across the room to Noin's side.

Wufei scowled, "I'm not sure what that women sees in him."

"Oh, he's not all that bad." Quatre, naturally.

Heero shared a look with Wufei. The latter sighed, "Winner, your capacity to see the best in everyone seems limitless."

"Lucky enough for you." Quatre smiled at his own retort, and Wufei rolled his eyes skyward.

Heero smirked at their interaction, and looked down at his drink, now almost gone. He did a quick mental calculation, his body weight, the time. Drinking anymore would probably be a poor choice. A knock at the door brought him back to the moment with a start. He saw Relena excusing herself from her brother and future sister-in-law. This wasn't her home, but she was obviously enjoying playing hostess for the evening. Heero took a steadying breath. He could think of only one other person who would be arriving. His mind, formally so compliant to his will, rebelled against him and sent his thoughts back to the last time he'd seen Duo.

"I've come to see that you're alive."

"It would appear so. Where am I?"

"The hospital. You aren't fucking fifteen anymore, you know. You're goddam lucky."

"Agree to disagree."

"Jesus Christ. Don't worry, Yuy, this is the last fucking time I bail your sorry ass out."

"I don't recall asking for your help."

"Right ya' are. Consider this my official resignation as your damn babysitter. I'll tell the Princess I'm tapping her in. Do us all a favor and try to extract your head from your ass, but I'm not going down with the ship."

With a forceful mental shove, Heero pushed the memory back. But just as if his imagination had conjured him, Relena reentered the room walking beside a beaming Duo Maxwell. The bar where Heero stood was tucked into the side of the room, and Relena was leading Duo out into the den proper, giving Heero a moment to regard the newest arrival unnoticed. Duo hadn't changed much in the past four years, or so Heero though. He was taller now by a few inches and broader across the chest, but he still wore his typical Maxwell combination of street clothes. Black jeans, heavy black biker boots, some sort of t-shirt with a faded band logo under a dark button up shirt that was, typically, neither buttoned nor tucked in. Taller, broader, but still smiling. Still Duo.

As if to reinforce the fact, Duo quickly scanned the room. Heero knew they all did this when they entered a new space. Exit strategy assessed, potential threats calculated. He felt Duo's gaze slide toward the group at the bar, and he turned his back, leaning over the small bar to retrieve the bottle of bourbon and refill his and Wufei's cup. Wufei raised a single eyebrow at the action, but didn't seem to feel the need to actually comment.

It was probably only a few minutes, but it felt like much more to Heero. As, suddenly, Trowa was making his way behind the bar, pulling up a stool next to Quatre. Then Duo was there, hopping up to perch on the surface of the bar, with Wufei sitting between him and Heero.

"Well would you fuckin' look at this? What do you boys say, are we getting the band back together?"

All in all, Heero assumed this was better than most of the milder scenarios he had imagined. Things had been tense, and Duo had pretty well ignored him for the greater part of the evening. The ignoring had gone both ways, he supposed. But then, sometime after his third drink, Duo had surprised him by plopping down on the couch at his side. Heero had only glanced at him out of the side of his eye, afraid to make too direct of eye contact, but Duo had obviously made short work of becoming drunker than Heero.

"Fuck, Yuy, don't look so glad to see me."

"The same to you."

And Duo had laughed, "I see you've been working on your sarcasm these last few years." Heero had shrugged one shoulder, but turned to face Duo more directly. "Look, I'm back, you're back. Water under the bridge?" Heero had nodded in the affirmative and that, at least for the moment, seemed to be that. So, his nerves had settled slightly, but he knew from the two years during their Preventers partnership that drunk Duo was one of two things: jovial or spoiling for a fight. And those winds could change very quickly.

Even so, the evening had progressed from there. Heero felt he was drunker than he ought to be, but he wasn't the drunkest girl at the part, as Duo used to be fond of saying. That dubious honor went to Quatre, as per usual.

It was funny, he had spent the last four years actively trying not to think of the long haired piolet, but for the past three hours he had found himself cataloguing all the little things he had learned about him, both during the war and during their time working closely together. Though seeing him here, in this casual social situation, brought into sharp relief all the things he didn't seem to know about the man. He knew Duo's favorite type of explosive and his shooting accuracy, but he didn't know his favorite drink or any number of his non-verbal mannerisms. He had considered Duo one of his closest friends when he was seventeen, but his understanding of people had been even more piss poor then. Maybe what they had wasn't even what Duo would, himself, consider a friendship. Well, there was nothing for it now.

"Heero, I'm leaving." He looked up to see Relena standing before him. "Walk me to the door, will you?"

He stood and made his way with her through the den. Trowa caught his arm as he passed by and stated in a low tone, "If I can't leave, you can't leave."

"Understood."

He retrieved Relena's coat for her, and helped her into it. "Should the hostess be leaving so soon?"

Relena turned and flashed him a smile, "Oh, Sally and Noin are coming with me." As if on cue, the other two women appeared, each shrugging on their light coats.

"It was so nice seeing you, Heero," Sally said, giving him one of her small smiles. Noin gave him a nod that didn't seem outright hostile. The both moved toward the door. "We'll go on and hail a cab. Catch up with us outside, Relena."

Alone in the hall again, Heero fixed Relena with a stare, "Your bother is staying?"

She simply furrowed her eyebrows at him and made a small show of fixing his shirt collar. "Yes, and play nice. He tries you know… They're setting up the card table. Just beat him soundly and he'll make his escape." She smiled conspiratorially and leaned forward to whisper into his ear, "He taps his temple when he's bluffing."

She pulled back and smiled brightly over Heero's shoulder. He turned to see a rather uncomfortable looking Duo. "Sorry to interrupt," he muttered, "Just looking for my coat. Gonna' burn one before this game gets rolling." Relena hugged them both and made her exit.

Duo ducked into the closet and emerged with both of their coats. "I assume you want one?" Heero shrugged, but took his coat. He hadn't smoked a cigarette since he and Duo were partners. They were silent as they moved out to the front stoop. Duo produced a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, taking one out before offering one to Heero.

"Still smoking these," Heero observed, taking the yellow pack with a picture of a Native American on the front. It was a rarer old American brand, and Heero remembered Duo complaining when they were on assignment and he couldn't find them.

"Yeah, and Hildie still hates it, but what are you gonna' do." He scuffed his boot against the pavement. "So, you and the Princess, still trying to work things out?"

"No, just friends."

"Never could seal the deal, huh?"

"I'll add that to the long list of things that are none of your damn business, Maxwell." Duo offered him a small smile at that. Heero had missed their banter. Wufei took it too seriously and it was difficult to achieve with Trowa, who was even more tight-lipped than himself.

"You've changed. You're happier?"

Heero huffed, "My head isn't quite as far up my ass, if that's what you mean." Duo winced. Maybe that had been the wrong thing to say? He wasn't sure. "I don't know if I'm happier. I don't think I know what people mean by that."

"Yeah. Isn't that what reintegration is all about though? We find Nirvana or drink some of Quatre's fucking optimism kool-aid or some shit. Damned if I know. I guess that's why I'm back here."

They smoked in silence for a moment. A thought pressed its way forward into Heero's mind. Maybe some conversation from therapy, or a time when Quatre was talking at him? "Duo, were we friends…before?"

"Shit man, seriously? You askin' me?" Heero only looked at him expectantly, watching numerous expressions flash across the other man's face in rapid succession. If he and Duo were on speaking terms again, he guessed his efforts to understand people's non-verbal clues were going to have increase quickly. How could anyone shift through so many feelings so quickly? Just as abruptly, his face settled. Heero knew this Duo emotion, anger. "Yeah, we were friends. And, just so we're clear, we ain't now. We can move forward, clean slate if you want. But being your best friend is too much goddamn responsibility."

"We were best friends?"

He felt Duo's anger soften. "That's what you took from all that?" Heero raised his eyebrows a little, as if to say yes. He wasn't hurt, or even very much surprised, by Duo's declaration. It was probably deserved. The more shocking bit was the fact that his feelings of friendship hadn't been one-sided, but had been returned and more intensely than anticipated. "I wasn't your best friend? You took a fuckin' bullet for me."

"Yes, but that was—"

"A more efficient form of self-detonation? I figured." Duo stubbed out his cigarette in one of Quatre's potted plants and Heero followed suit. "Let's leave that sort of talk to the shrink, huh? Come on, let's go watch Tro' destroy Zech in poker."