Author's Note: All right... here is the next installment of this one. I'm actually trying something new because I'm trying to write the whole thing in its entirety before I catch up in posting it... that way I'll have to finish it! I'm already like 15,000 words in, so yay for me! I hope that you enjoy this... review if you would like to tell me your thoughts!
It's hours later when the shrill ringing of her phone wakes both of them from the peaceful slumber of a satisfying evening. Being honest with herself would mean that last night was the most fun she ever had in bed. Men she was with for months and almost years didn't know her as well as Castle did, and it astounded her how well they were together.
She snaps out of her thoughts when the ringing continues, and turns in his embrace to grab the offensive item, "Beckett."
He only hears her end of the conversation, and chooses to take in Katherine Beckett in the morning. It's early, so the morning light is just breaking into his bedroom, casting a hazy glow on her tan skin. He never thought that a woman could take his breath away the way she did on a regular basis. Knowing what he knows now makes his breathing speed up more than it normally does when she's around. Every part of her is beautiful… the way they fit together was unlike anything he ever felt.
"Yeah… I'll be there in a bit then. Text me the address."
"So much for time off, huh?" she jokes to the person on the other end.
"Oh… I'll text him or call him on the way." She says, finally glancing toward the other side of the bed.
She hits end and allows herself to fall back onto the bed, running a hand through her hair allowing more flashes of the previous night to enter her head for a brief moment.
"The precinct?" he asks, still staring at her, noticing a subtle blush creeping up her neck.
"Espo… body dropped on the West side." She says, still making no move to leave the bed.
He lays there for a few moments, not knowing exactly how to approach this morning after what they did last night… several times.
"I don't regret it, Castle." She says simply, not looking in his direction.
"You don't?" he asks, and her heart almost breaks at what she hears in that statement… the hope there and the relief that what they did wasn't about to ruin them.
"No… and if I'm going to be terribly honest… I don't think I could ever regret that… it was…"
"extraordinary?" he supplies, and then smiles when she turns to him with a smile of her own.
"I won't feed your ego anymore, but just know that I don't regret it at all."
"And now…"
"Now, I get dressed and make my way to the crime scene, you go get me my coffee and I'll see you there."
"That's it?" he asks, with a question in his eyes.
"One night…" she says.
He nods, "One night."
He can't help but run through the images of last night in his head as she gets dressed… thinking about how perfect they were together in everything. Despite what she says about not regretting it, the way she methodically gets ready for the day has him almost thinking that could be it for them… that one evening… when she turns to him just before leaving his bedroom.
"Castle?" she says and he sits up to give her his attention. "I need time… but… you and me… it's not just about sex… it is more…I know that now… I probably knew it before… I just…"
"You need time." He fills in for her. "I get that Kate… I do."
With a small smile, knowing that maybe this time he wouldn't push her like he normally does, but actually let her come to her own conclusions.
"What have we got?" she says, approaching the body and the medical examiner crouched down next to it.
"Our vic was shot from point blank range, so this was not someone who was afraid to get personal. However, from what I can see, and based on the tearing of some of the clothing, I would say they were dragged from…." Lanie starts and then looks up to Kate and trails off for a moment.
"What did you do different?" she asks, and Kate is forced to snap out of her own examination of the scene.
"What?" she questions.
"Is it your hair?" she asks.
"It's no different from the way it always is… now can we get back to the victim?"
With a critical eye, Lanie scans her once more before turning back to her explanation of the victim.
Kate hates the insights of her best girlfriend. She always knows when there is something wrong and she always knows when something's on her mind. If she really knew what was on her mind right now, she's sure that even Lanie would blush.
Castle shows up right as they are heading back from the crime scene, holding up his coffee for Kate as he always does.
"We done here?"
"We are…. And thank you." She says, holding up the coffee in a cheers motion and smiling back at him.
They're walking quietly when he says, "You know why I bring you coffee every day?"
"Because you've learned that if I don't get my caffeine in the morning I might actually pull my gun on you?" she says jokingly.
"Actually no…" he says, looking around to make sure no one was watching before putting a hand to her elbow to get her full attention, "It's to see that smile. It makes my day."
She looks up at him and realizes that things have changed. They were moving towards something and while he might not push… he's going to be very open in telling her the ways he loves her. She just might let him continue to be open.
She smiles shyly in return, "Come on Castle… let's solve a murder."
She's actually surprised at the way they continue the dance they do. He still works with her side by side, and there is this unspoken agreement that something is coming, but they don't know when. She is still working with her therapist on all the things she wants to better in her life and told Castle about her doctor a little bit. They spend a bit more time together out of the precinct… a few dinners here and there or a movie night with Alexis at the loft.
Somewhere in the middle of all this, something's different though. It isn't them per se, but her. Kate dismisses the feeling and Castle is only aware of the subtle things that seem off.
They got called to a new crime scene a month later and she swung by to pick him up on the way, so they arrive at the scene together. It was dark, but the CSU team had enough lights around the scene that it was lit up like a Christmas tree. Again Lanie was crouched down examining the body, but what happened when they stepped closer was something that Castle couldn't explain.
He saw her breathing hitch a bit when they approached the body, as it rarely does at some particularly gruesome scenes. This didn't seem to be something that would rattle her though, a single gunshot wound to the stomach and some bruising around the face that suggested beating. When he sees her glance in his direction, he notices that her breathing isn't coming back to normal. A glance to everyone else tells him that they haven't noticed it, so he moves up next to her.
At his subtle move, she makes one of her own and sticks a hand behind her back, palm upturned in a gesture that looked like she needed someone to hold her hand. So he did… placing his hand in hers, making sure to keep it out of the view of everyone else at the scene.
He kept his hand in hers, noticing how every now and then she would squeeze it a little bit more. Her breathing calmed down after a few minutes of this and she was able to ask Lanie all the necessary questions while putting a death grip around his hand a few times.
It was when they got to the car that he asked her, "What was that? You okay?"
She shrugs her shoulders, "I'm fine… I just… I'm fine."
"You sure?"
Actually no… she wasn't sure because she couldn't explain what happened at the crime scene. Her head wasn't all there and her body was betraying her. At the same time she realized that she hadn't needed to say a word to him for him to understand something was wrong. It was the best feeling to know that someone could predict you like that… knew you that well.
"Castle, you're always going to be there, right?" she asks simply.
"Always."
"Then I'm fine." She says with another shrug.
He passed it off as a random thing until she does it again at a morning crime scene two weeks later… breathing hitched and a hand held out behind her back. Only this time, he saw the color leave her face when Lanie pulled back the tarp covering the body.
"You okay?" he whispers.
She nods in reply and continues going through the normal motions of a crime scene, appearing calm and collected to everyone around her, but holding his hand again.
"Kate I'm worried… this is the second time that's happened." He asks, when the doors of her vehicle are closed.
"Castle, I'm fine… I just… I don't know, they've been hitting me harder than normal lately and I just needed the support. You were there, so I'm fine."
"Has something come up in therapy that is making this harder? The crime scenes, I mean?"
She had started letting him in on a little bit of what was going on in therapy when something jogged her memory from a session. She would offer up a piece of herself and he would listen, sometimes asking a question when she was done and sometimes just nodding in acknowledgement of the gesture.
"No… I don't know. Something feels off, and I can't put it to words."
"Tell him that." He says easily, knowing that she has brought up things he suggested she talk about a few times, including Gates and her position at the precinct.
"I will next time…" she says, looking over at him for a moment before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, "thanks Rick."
"Oooh… Rick this time, huh? I'm moving up the ranks."
This earned him the famous Kate Beckett eye roll, which served to make his smile only grow wider. He loved those eye rolls nearly as much as he loved her smiles.
"Beckett…" she faintly hears, while someone is gently nudging her shoulder.
It's then that she realizes where she is and what she's doing, falling asleep at her desk while working on paperwork again. Last week she had done the same thing while reading a case file in the break room and it was Castle who had gently shaken her awake, telling her that she worked too long and too hard.
"Espo?" she asks, confused as to what exactly was going on.
"Your phone is ringing, and you… well… you fell asleep." He says, giving her an odd look.
"Beckett." She says, not bothering to glance at who was calling her.
"Hey Beckett, I was wondering what was on the docket today." Castle says through the phone.
"Where are you Castle?" she asks, finally taking in the empty chair by her desk.
"I'm at my meeting about that week long book tour up the west coast."
"I thought that tour wasn't happening until the first week in March?"
"Which is next week, Beckett… seriously, you need to look at your calendar. And I love that you remembered when the book tour was, it must mean that you're going to miss me."
She honestly stopped listening to him after he enlightened her to the date. That just wasn't possible. Had the months flown by that quickly? Then it all clicked into place, in a terrifying key in lock sort of way that made her gasp just a tiny bit.
"Beckett?"
"Hmm?" she says, still distracted.
"You aren't going to give a snarky comment?"
"No… actually, Castle, I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you back? You don't have to worry about coming in today, but maybe tomorrow you can come in. We are going to be looking through some old cases unless we have a body drop."
"Okay… you okay, Kate?" he asks, using her first name to show his concern.
"I'm fine Castle… I'll see you tomorrow."
She clicks on the calendar for her computer, noting the particular date that has her worried. It's after that, that she flips through the business cards in her wallet and dials the number she usually just calls once a year and schedules an appointment that she isn't sure she should be making.