That day she woke up and it almost felt like I was still alive, she put on her cheerio's uniform and kissed the photo of me that sat on her bedside table.

She scraped her hair into the familiar blonde ponytail, the only thing that was missing were the familiar sounds of our song that we listened to every morning. I saw her finger hover over her IPod once or twice, but some things take time.

I was always one step behind Brittany as she walked the familiar corridors of McKinley without me, ready to catch her should she fall.

She managed to keep it together all day, even when we walked into Glee club and she seen my chair occupied by someone else.

Of course this didn't stop me sitting in my chair although it has to be said sitting inside someone's body does feel like being trapped in sausage skin, especially when that body is a sweaty jock that smells like my grandma's couch.

I never really did get the chance to tell my friends in Glee club how much I loved them, even weeks after my passing the choir room still felt tense as they tried to adjust to my absence, everyone looking towards the door expecting me to follow in behind Britt.

Quinn sang songbird for Brittany, I know she meant well. But that's when Brittany lost it; I knew she'd been pushed to her limits for one day. I stalked behind her as she ran out of the choir room towards her locker.

She looked over towards mine expectantly, I willed her to open it, hoping she'd find the secret that lay behind the metal door, the secret that I had been saving in there for the right time.

It was almost as if she had picked up on my train of thought because sure enough two pale hands clasped the lock and entered my combination – 220994, Brittany's birthday.

I pushed my nose towards the crook of her neck and my arms wrapped around her slim frame as she opened the locker, I know she felt my warmth because for the first time in a month and a half she smiled.

She grazed her finger over the picture of us kissing on Valentines Day, she smiled as she focused on the photo of me holding Lord Tubbington.

And then she seen the gift wrapped rectangular box that sat at the bottom of my locker, an envelope peaking from underneath it inscribed with 'To Britty xo'

I felt her heart race as she gently took the envelope out, I placed my hand against her own as she pulled the letter from the envelope and began to read.

Dear Brittany,

I've been trying to find the words too say everything that has been on my mind lately, do you remember the time we sat on the pier when we went too Sandusky Bay and you held my hand when the sun was starting to set and told me that we were meant to be?

Well I've been thinking about that a lot lately, I've been thinking about my future. And when I see myself in five years, ten years and twenty years' time, only one thing stays the same… You.

You know I've never been the best with words, that was always you britt-britt. But I want you to come to New York with me; we can go to Juilliard together. We can get a place and I will make you those pancakes with the strawberry syrup that you love every single morning.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want us to stop dreaming and start living. I want us to share a tenancy agreement, and fight over whose doing the dishes. I want us to sit in the same coffee shop every Sunday morning and do the wordsearch together like we do in the Lima bean.

I love you more than you could ever imagine Britt, You and Tubbington are mi familia.

I want you to wear this gift with pride every day knowing that you will always and forever wear my heart on your sleeve.

Love you always B

San xo

Tears brimmed in my own eyes as I felt Brittany's heart shatter into a thousand pieces, she undone the ribbon that I had painstakingly crafted and opened the box, a silver charm bracelet shining back at her.

She picked the jewellery up and examined it, our initials engraved into two heart shaped charms that sat next to each other, as well as charms of dolphins, a key and another charm engraved with the number eight.

I watched as she slipped it on over her dainty wrist, knowing that she would never remove it.

Brittany went home and took the letter with her; she put it on her bedside table and over the next few weeks read it every night before she went sleep, kissing it before she put it back in its sacred place next to my photo.

Brittany slowly began to fall back into a routine; she woke up at seven, got ready, kissed my photo and leaned towards her Ipod. Willing herself to listen to our song like we used to in the mornings, then she goes to school, comes home and practices her dancing. I am never more than a few feet away from her, I don't know whether she can feel me as much but I do know that whenever I graze my hand over her cheek and kiss her forehead she scrunches her nose and the smiles just the way she used to when I was alive.

I hadn't spoken to her since that night she saw me after she fell asleep, but nothing had changed. Every night I slipped into bed next to her, sometimes I slept but for most of the time I just watched over her and warned away any nightmares.

The things that causes the most problems is that sometimes I forget that I'm not alive anymore, sometimes she'll look in my direction and it's like she knows I'm there. She'll half smile and I'll feel her heart race a little faster, and for a second I'll go to pull her down to the bed and tuck the stray piece of hair behind her ear. But then I remember were different now.

Sometimes she'll even talk to me whilst she's getting ready, yesterday we had a very interesting conversation about how Lord Tubbington may have took a keen interest in the lady cat next door, she couldn't hear my replies but I think she knew I was answering her back and smiling like I always did. Like I always do.

For all the progress Brittany has made in three months I can feel her heart growing heavier, she won't allow herself to have fun or be happy, she just goes through the motions of her life, willing each day to pass a little faster.

Summer had came and went before Brittany received her acceptance letter from Juilliard, it was the first time since the funeral that she spoke to my parents. They called her to ask if she'd been accepted after they received my letter, it turns out I would have been going to Juilliard on a scholarship if I'd of only just been a few seconds early or even a few seconds late when I climbed into my car that evening.

My mom and Brittany talked for hours, they laughed and they cried as they recalled memories of me.

My mom asked Brittany if she planned on going to Juilliard and Brittany very quickly changed the subject, I knew she couldn't face going to Juilliard without me as soon as I seen her gaze move from the window to the letter that sat on her bedside table.

We went to sleep that night and I wrapped my arms around her body, half whispering lullabies into her ear. I know she can't hear me but it makes me feel better, I personally think she can hear them in her heart because she always falls sound asleep whenever I finish my song.

I was slowly starting to close my own eyes when I heard the familiar voice of my lover address me "San, what are you doing here?"

I looked up from the sleeping blonde to the dream version who stood tall in the centre of the room, stepping away from the bed and kissing her collar bone as she ran her fingers through my dark thick hair "Santana I've missed you so much" the last of her sentence was choked through a tight sob.

I placed my hands at the base of her back, holding her as she shook "its okay Britt, I've been right here the whole time, I'll always be right here. You know I won't leave you"

I felt the tender lips press against my own and the warm breathe tantalize my cool lips, "Santana I can't go to Juilliard without you, I don't know If I can do this. I can barely make it through the day without forgetting you're aren't going to be waiting by locker"

I looked at her, her cobalt irises burrowing deep within my soul "Brittany I never leave your side, I even hold your hand when you watch Sweet Valley High, you aren't going to Juilliard without me, because we're going together."

A resounding hiccupping sob escaped the girl in front of me as she violently shook her head "this isn't the way it's supposed to be, were supposed to be young and in love and slow dancing at prom"

I wrapped my arms around her lithe frame and began to hum the notes to our song, "Brittany we are young and in love, and we are going to dance at prom" I felt the warm trickle of tears hit the flesh on my shoulder as I gently rocked her to the hum of my notes. The tiniest of smiles erupting on her face as I twirled her around just like I used too.

I saw the movement of the body that lay in the bed "Brittany you're going to wake up soon and I need you too try and remember this, I need you to go to Juilliard, baby we have to stop dreaming and start living" I placed my lips against her own as she whispered I love you's before fading from my grasp.

The physical Brittany sat upright and gasped for air as she looked at the space where her consciousness and I stood mere seconds ago. "Santana I don't know if you can hear me, or if I'm just talking to myself, but I miss you. I miss you more than I can bare"

I climbed on the bed and took my usual position curled at her side with my hand on her heart "I'm right here Britt, I'm not going anywhere"

I whispered lullabies in her ear before I felt her drift into a slumber, kissing her temple before resting my head on her shoulder.