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Guilty Bonds

Chapter 2, Birthing

The general couldn't be sure she heard right. There was no way! They had only finished the plans the day before yesterday, and had been fighting ever since.

"Do you want to see it, General?"

"Yes! How did you...?"

"I don't sleep much, General. Here, see?"

He handed her a medium-sized durasteel box that weighed more than it seemed. He had left the hatch open so she could see that it was built to specifications. She was amazed at how smooth everything was. It was as if a droid had done it, but she realized Bao-Dur was just plain amazing. His hands were calm, steady. In another life, he could have made a great doctor.

"This is...brilliant, Bao, just brilliant."

"I hope we never have to use this, General."

"Me too, Bao-Dur. Me too." She put the box next to her bed, "Where's the detonator?"

"I haven't made it yet. I want to ask you something, General." his voice sounded suspicious.

"Okay.." His tone was making her nervous. There was usually very little in his voice besides respect and amusement. She wasn't sure where this was going.

"How many other people know about this? Does Revan?"

"No..no this isn't Revan's doing. I'm just not an idiot about to let the Sith win this one." she answered defensively.

"Then let me use your lightsaber. I'll use that for the detonator, so that no one else can use it."

"How is that going to work? I'm going to need it to fight."

"It won't be out of commission for more than a few hours. I can make buttons and you can pick the code. It'll be complex, so you don't accidentally hit them."

"That's too risky, Bao-Dur. My lightsaber could break, or get stolen. I need something small, maybe small enough to fit on, say, a necklace."

Bao-Dur seemed greatly troubled by this. She wanted it to be easily accessible in case things went wrong fast, which she seemed to believe they could. He wasn't willing to let it be so easy.

"General, I understand. But if I make this into something you can wear, I'm going to put multiple layers of protection. Eye scan, DNA identification, fingerprint maybe, and voice ID. We can't let this be accidentally set off."

"Of course, whatever you feel comfortable with, Bao-Dur." She smiled comfortably at him. He didn't return it, but nodded thoughtfully. She could tell this was getting to him, but she didn't need to remind him that it was a secret.

When she tried, unsuccessfully, to sleep that night, she laid on her stomach staring at the SMG. Such a small thing was going to have an impact that would be felt for the rest of eternity. This planet would never be the same, probably uninhabitable. No one would survive. Her insides churned at the thought, but it was necessary. The galaxy couldn't handle more Sith.

She reached into her bag and pulled out the last of her sleeping meds. She had kept them from the last time she was on a ship with a decent infirmary. If she took them now, who knows when else she might need them. Lauren shook her head. No, she couldn't worry about that. She knew she needed sleep tonight. If she could sleep tonight, with the ultimate death machine inches from her head, she could get through another night without drugs. She would force herself to.

When she fell asleep, she didn't dream. There were no nightmares, just intoxicating silence. Blissful peace as she walked through the Room of A Thousand Fountains. Water was always calming. There was some strange thudding sound as she continued to walk, occasionally dipping her fingers into the water- which was only something she did in her dreams. One did not put their hands into the fountains- as she passed a particularly interesting one.

It felt like someone was touching her shoulder. She shook it off and focused on her walk. When this was all over... she would... what would she do? Go back to the Jedi? How could they accept her back? Especially if.. she blocked that thought. There was more interference with the streams of water.

Suddenly her eyes were open and she was looking at Bao-Dur.

"General! We need you to get up! We're getting slaughtered out here!" he was saying over the noise.

"What's happening?"

"The Sith! They're coming in hordes, General. We can't fight them all."

She grabbed her saber and went running, not bothering to throw on her Jedi garb. There wasn't time. She would suffer for it later, when there were holes and burns in her night clothes, but decency wasn't high on a soldiers priority list. Moments later, she was warm and her blood was pulsing fast. She was killing Sith left and right, up and down, backwards and forwards. There was no end. She let out a Force Scream and ten Sith around her fell.

She took a moment to charge herself again, but the Sith sounded the retreat. She was grateful that her men kept shooting while she searched the small mountains of bodies for survivors on either side. She was saddened when they counted all of their dead the next morning. Out of seventeen Jedi they had had, there were now four, including herself.

Lauren could barely stand to send in the report. It was an embarrassing failure- one that probably could have been avoided if she hadn't've taken those sleeping pills. She would have been awake, and a few Jedi might have been saved.

"General, what are we going to do now?" Bao-Dur asked. The Jedi could tell he was trying to make sure she wasn't planning on using the SMG.

"When the report files through, we'll know."

"I finished two more, General."

"That's great Bao-Dur, really. Just one more and we'll have enough. Anything on the detonator?"

He handed her a rather small canister looking object on a chain necklace. There was red glass at the end, and she could see several sensors.

"Bao-Dur, thanks."

"General, I don't know about this. You'll have to... you'll have to be on planet to activate it."

"I realized this a long time ago. It's something I've accepted. You'll have to accept it, too. There will be more people to die than me. And, maybe, it'll do some good."

"You're talking like this is already in motion. Last resort, General."

"Just let me worry about it, okay?" she was being harsh, but he needed to know she would do what was necessary. That she would be mean to her self-confessedly only friend if she needed to be.

He sighed, realizing she was right. The only reason he had agreed was because she had the right idea. But now that it seemed so close to becoming real, he was afraid he'd made the wrong choice. As a tech, he had little mind of the actual workings of the war, but he knew things were bad.

They were bad enough that the General was already preparing to die.

…

"What's the meaning of this?" An elder tech asked.

"Just what it says. You're wasting your time here, wasting our resources. We can't keep you protected anymore, so you're being sent back." Lauren answered. She hated sounding so nonchalant about losing the techs, but really she was saving their lives. Bao-Dur looked at her, terrified at the implications of this.

She wouldn't meet his eyes.

In a few days, the shuttle came to pick the techs up and drop off some new recruits. They were all so young, barely old enough to enlist. Lauren had told them not to send anymore, but of course they did anyways. What kind of general didn't want more recruits?

"Bao-Dur...thank you, for everything."

"General...don't do this."

"I'll see you around. Keep trying your best." She walked away quickly before he could protest. The weight of the detonator, which was near her heart, weighed more now than it had the first time she'd seen it.

Parting was sad, but maybe it wouldn't be permanent. Something told her she'd see him again. Maybe in the next life, maybe not. Either way, what's done was done, and it could never be undone.

The charges were set, and she was ready. Or so she'd hoped.

Her will faltered under the eager, trusting gazes of the greenhorns.

Lauren turned her backs to all of them, symbolically cutting off her ties with them. Now was not the time to be soft or wishy-washy. Now was the time to be born anew and finish things here. Once, and for all.