Okay, so the chapters are pretty short but I think that's better when it's a long story so then it actually makes sense...

Happy reading

I took her advice to heart, as well as her support and made my way back down to the infirmary. Before I had left I had passed John's care to Jen who'd been very gracious about the whole thing, despite it being an almost implausible situation.

When I got in he'd been moved to the far corner of the infirmary, Jennifer knew how private he was and this was not something he'd want anybody knowing about, at least not yet. The curtains were pulled all around but I could see through a tiny crack where there was darkness apart from the lamp that was turned away from him, keeping the space fairly dark.

I stroked down the seam of the curtain and sighed –my heart thrumming in my throat - before stepping in and completely closing them behind me. I slipped off my shoes and place my jacket messily on the chair next to the bed. He was facing the wall and didn't even acknowledge when I lay behind him, wrapping my arms around him, one acting as a pillow and one clutching his back into my chest.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here, John. When you needed me most, I panicked which is ridiculous when you are the one that's going through this. I promise I won't run away again, I swear." I whispered in his ear and then kissed his temple. I kept my grip on him comfortingly tight as his body shook with silent sobs.

Once he calmed, I wiped away his tears and took to stroking his hair, something that seemed so mundane but to me it was an intimate gesture. "Carson." He said quietly and I lifted my head and balanced it on a raised hand so I could see his face. He wasn't about so say anything but I knew what I wanted to say at last.

"John, I know we've been so careful not to say it but… I've fallen in love with you." I buried my head into the back of his neck, taking in his smell as I dreaded what was to come. He turned in my grasp and pulled my chin up to look at him. He was frowning.

"I'm sorry John; it's not what you want to hear." I went to sit up but he dragged me back down and into a passionate kiss. I put a hand on his cheek, trying to stop my head from spinning as I pulled away. I'd never been kissed like that before. I rolled off him and onto my back but he still had a grasp of my hand. Up until now I'd never known the colonel to be so sentimental.

"Do you really?" He asked me almost hesitantly and I turned my head to look at him, squeezing his hand. "I never meant to but, you... How could I not love you?" He blushed and turned his face away from me but I pulled it back like he'd done to me earlier. "What's wrong?" I asked in a whisper.

"Did you ever want kids Carson?" It was a fair question. I took a moment to think before replying. "When I was younger I always pictured it. I mean, I know I didn't want the wife part but other than that... Yeah I guess I did. Recently I haven't got a clue, I got attached to the U.S. military that don't take kindly to knowing about people like me and then got shipped out to a different galaxy where we only had ourselves to rely on."

I saw his eyes go moist; "Let me ask you this, John. What do you want?" He let out a shaky breath accompanied by a tear which I gently wiped away. "Before we came to Atlantis, every Christmas eve I'd go to my brother's house with a trunk full of presents. He'd just elbow me in the ribs and tell me that I should get my own kids to spoil." He sighed heavily, "Nancy never wanted kids, couldn't. I love kids but I don't know if I can actually be a father."

His insecurity made me a little sad, I knew he'd be an amazing father, but I couldn't make a decision for him. "John, I love you - I think that this child will be just one more thing to love you for and I know that you'd make the most amazing father but I wouldn't stop loving you if you decided not to go through with it, I know this is a lot to handle. I promise you that I won't ever run away, no matter what happens." It ached in my heart to even consider him having an abortion. He must have seen it in my face because he just kissed me and I felt it go right through me. He curled into my chest again, lying on his side.

"This may be the only chance I get to have a real family; I don't think I can just give that up." I smiled as I kissed the spot just below his ear. Family. "I wouldn't want you to." I whispered in his ear, my relief evident.

And that was the second chapter folks, hope you're enjoying it so far and as always, please comment or make suggestion or even have a whinge at me if you really feel like it :)