Easy A
I don't own any of the characters and stuff so yeah enjoy!
Ok. Not my best move. But it was provocative enough to land in the principal's office. I sat on a couch with a paper in my hand. Wendy, the school president was stapling some papers behind me.
Staple
Staple
Staple, Staple, Staple
I turned and looked at her.
"Seems as if some one is on a downward spiral." She stated angrily. I rolled my eyes and looked away from her.
"Seems as if someone is practicing the mandating activity she'll be settled with the rest of her pathetic life." I combated.
"I just hope the use of good sense and used protection!"
"Why? Your parents didn't"
"You're going to hell for getting three girls pregnant" she screeched.
"Good! As long as you won't be there."
"I can assure you, I won't!" she yelled. Stapling the papers harder. The door of the principal's office opened.
"I don't care who started it, just work it out." The principal sighed. One girl and a boy came out. The girl had a slap mark on her face, and she was bleeding. She looked at me, smiling sadly. I watched shocked of what I just saw. The principal took her glasses off and called me in.
"Brovflovski" she said angrily I got up and walked into the room, then sat down.
"So, why am I just meeting you? Behavior like this is, just unacceptable especially from you." Principal Victoria said looking at the paper.
"This is the first time I have done anything remotely misbehavioral."
"This is vile"
"Yes. Yes. I had no right to punch our vice president in the face. I'm sorry I'm really really sorry."
"Sorry you did it? Or sorry you got caught?" she retorted. I looked at her frustrated.
"Sorry I did it. Honestly. And sorry, I got caught a little bit too, but mostly sorry I did it." I told her looking innocent.
"If you show any action similar to the one today at my school, it will be your last you understand, Kyle?"
"Yes. Ma'am.-"
"I mean this isn't one of those, progressive schools, where the, the teachers are called by their first names, and that the students and the professors are all partners in learning. And there's a fundraising auction at the end of the year where the more 'creative' parent put on a musical at the end of the year! This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus. Now if your sent to me one more time, you're gonna be out. Do I make myself clear?" she looked at me waiting for an answer. I nodded my head rapidly.
"Yes yes ma'am. I, well most of it. I got kind of lost in the middle, but I found my way back."
"Good." She handed me the paper.
"Detention tomorrow after school Mr. Brovflovski." She pointed towards the door.
"Out" I nodded and walked away.
Even though it was my bad-ass alter ego who punched Cartman in the face, it was my ass that got in trouble which is a place where my ass has never been. Well, not alone. I walked on the fields my backpack weighing me back. Kenny walked up to me.
"Hey dude!" he said happily. I smiled.
"Aww, you waited for me? For a whore who fucks everything in their path, what a delightful gentlemen you are being!" I teased. He rubbed the back of his head and laughed.
"Hey watch it. You're becoming as bad as me. And besides being gentlemen is kind of my thing you know?" I laughed. We kept walking through the fields.
"Are you going to Token Black's party?" he asked casually.
"Umm, you know, I haven't planned on it no"
"Me neither. Karen is getting married next year and she wants us to rehearse the lines for the wedding dinner early." I shook my head. He then turned to his stop.
"See ya later. Kyle" then he walked his own way. Kenny's never really talked to me before. It must be cause' of the rumors. As I turned, a hand grabbed my arm. I yelped in surprise.
"Tell me the rumors are true!" Stan cried.
"Yes. I'm a perverted whore." He shook his head.
"Not that one! The one where you got all bitchy and kicked Eric Cartman in the balls?" he asked excitedly. I stood there confused.
"I worry about the way information circulates at this school"
"Stan, I need to tell you something…" he looked at me confused then hopefully.
"Yeah? What is it?"
"The thing I told you in the bathroom it's not true. That was a lie"
"Oh yeah. Great. Your secrets safe with me!" he said sarcastically. Then he left.
Back at home
I played with my peas. My hand on my cheek.
"I got sent to the principal's office today." I told my mom boredly. She served me some salad.
"Oh. Did you win a medal or something?" she asked.
"No. Not exactly. I behaved in an immature manner during English class. But In my defense, we were talking about something very touchy at the moment"
"What did you do Kyle? I know you can get a little angry sometimes but" my mom began. I put up my hand.
"I punched someone. But it wasn't even a hard one. You know." I told them. The looked at me and my mom frowned.
"Who?"
"Try to guess"
"Oh a guessing game. Umm let's see who does Bubbe hate the most at school?"
"Umm, that Butters kid?" my dad asked.
"No, he's sweet. My Bubbe wouldn't hate Butters"
"Oh how about that Craig?" I decided they couldn't guess. So I spoke up.
"It's Cartman." Ike laughed.
"Of course! The fatass. I knew it all along. I can't believe you guys didn't figure it out. They hate each other!" Ike laughed. I hit him on the back of the head.
"Hey, I don't, well yeah I do hate him."
"Well we're lucky that this is only a rare occurrence." My mom said calmly. I smiled.
"And what would my punishment be if it weren't rare?" I asked. My mom and dad thought for a moment.
"Ah. Got it no dinner!" my dad stated proudly.
"But I already finished eating so,"
"Oh! Oh! Another one! No dating!" my mom suggested.
"Yes no dating for you young man!" he agreed. I laughed.
"Oh that's great even though I don't even. Date. I don't know how to be punished as much as you two know how to punish." I said kissing them on the cheek.
"See ya!" I shouted from the stairs.
"Bye Bubbe!" my mom called. My dad sat down next to Ike.
"Where are you from originally?"
At school after hours-
So the next day I had detention which thanks to recent budget cuts, meant cleaning. I and that girl I saw the other day were mopping the floors of our school gym. I was looking forward to getting all this behind me. I had done the crime I was gonna do the time. And that would be that with that.
"Isn't there like child labor laws against this? I'm totally gonna break a nail." Red sighed. I smiled mopping the floor.
"Not in high school, the principal's like the captain of the ship of international waters." I looked up at her.
"Hmm." She said.
"We haven't talked in a while. How have you been Red?" I asked.
"Fabulous. I'm crushing it. Everything according to plan. I want to be in detention !" she shouted at the last part.
"Yeah why are you here? From the looks of it, that guy gave you a pretty bad beating" she scoffed.
"Oh it's a drama. That guy, who's name is Jason, doesn't like virgins, he says that he doesn't like being the one to do it with a first timer. So I started dating other people seeing if I could you know, loose my v-card to any of them, but he found out and got mad at me. Principal Victoria found my actions crude and inappropriate."
We walked to the outside basket ball court. She grabbed a hose, and I grabbed a mop.
"So what's with your new gangster, jersey shorsish look?" she asked. I laughed.
"Haven't you heard? I'm the new school whore, well man-whore!" I said posing. She shook her head and laughed.
"You know I did hear something! I also heard one of them was a guy. What are you bi-sexual like your friend now?"
"Ha. I guess so"
"I also heard you got herpes" I gasped. And looked at her annoyed.
"Gross. People suck."
Now we're in the girl's bathroom cleaning the writings on the bathroom stalls. Hmm so this is what a girls' bathroom looks like.
"I'm really confused you know" I heard Red say from the other stall. I looked away from the picture I was drawing of a heart.
"Huh?"
"I mean, you were so you know, you and now you're acting just like Kenny. Maybe even worse. What's up with that?" she asked. I sighed.
"Well, I guess you could say I was the one who kind of started the rumor"
"Wait, you started the rumor? About yourself?" she asked surprised.
"No! Well, yes, wait no. I told Stan I did it with those made up people, and Cartman happened to be there, so yeah." I stated defensively.
"That's really messed up."
"Huh? How?" I asked begrudgingly.
"Well you want people to think you're a perverted whore. It's pathetic!" she exclaimed.
"Uhh, no offense, but you could probably learn something from me RED."
"A-are you trying to imply lying to my crush about my virginity is the right way to go? Ha! That's ground breaking. You should teach a course at the the learning annex it could be called the painfully obvious by Kyle Brovflovski, your common perv. Ladies keep your cleavage showing!" She said in a squeaky voice
"Ok. First of all, bad imitation of me. And second of all why not? Have you not seen how popular I got? And you're just trying to get the attention of ONE person. Imagine how easy that would be! You know that Eric Cartman kid, he's like this weird stuck up fat Jesus freak. Who knows even that could be a lie!" she got out of the bathroom stalls and we looked at each other through the mirror.
"No. no I think he really just is a fat Jesus freak. And some of us are just trying to blend in to the crowd."
"Well, you either try to blend in to the crowd, or you just don't care" I stated simply. She sighed putting her head on my shoulder.
"I don't know whether you're a genius of a lunatic." She sighed. I patted her back softly.
"Yeah. I think those sort of go hand in hand."
Later that Afternoon-
"So you hear any words from your bed-buddies?" Stan asked curiously as we sat on the back of his dad's truck.
"Nope. I told you that it was a one night stand which is now over"
"Uh-huh. And tell me are you in love with any of them? I mean isn't how that's supposed to be?"
"Yeah, yes I believe so if I was a gossip girl living in a sweet valley of traveling pants, but I'm not. So I could really care less. And it really bothers me you compare me to girls all the time!" he laughed at me.
I got a pocket got a pocket full of sunshine I got a love-
"Nice ringtone."
"Shut up!" I told him.
"Hello? Oh hey!'
"Who is it? Who is it?" Stan asked curiously. I shooed him away.
"Yeah, I'm just here with my friend Stan." Stan smiled and got closer to the phone.
"Oh you know Stan, the football player? Yes, yes he's the ugly one." He punched me slightly on the shoulder.
"Yeah. Well, yeah. Oh nice"
"Wait wait! What does bbbee mean? Dude!" he started getting frustrated and tried taking the phone away from me.
"Hey, hey Red I got to go. Bye!" I shouted hanging up.
"What does that mean? Umm best bud, suave dude?"
"Foot long. It means foot long." I said annoyed. He looked at me skeptically.
"That's my identifier? Foot long? Yes! Yes! That's right!" he asked. He waved his hands in the air victoriously.
"Whooo Foot long!" he screamed to world. We laughed slightly,
"Well that was Red; she wants to talk to me about something."
"Hmm, she must want your advice. You're like Oprah. You always give advice to random people"
"Haha yeah I'm the white and male version of Oprah. Of course I'm better"
The next day, things took a turn for the scandalous which brings us to part three.
A man's choice and a lady's agreement.
Ok. So that's all for chapter 2 I hope you liked it. And I know I didn't mention this before, but I might make this a StanxKyle thing. Or not I'm not sure. I mean I don't know we'll see how it turns out. So review, I love you all, see ya!