Title: Standing on the Sun
Author: Rebellecherry
Summary: Picks up where Chasing the Moon left off after a five year hitatus.
Disclaimer:
Present Day
Dean watched Phil the whole flight he was tired but he was more worried about the man in front of him. They were flying in a small private plane, the pilot was a liaison who strictly did travel and exits, he was thankful the office wasn't making them fly commercial. He wasn't sure Phil was going to hold up on a crowded flight. Phil was quiet and distant staring out of the window at the night sky, the expression his face was one of hope trepidation and hope but it was still there and Dean was thankful.
He was beginning to get used to thinking of them with their new names and he needed to think of them a cover, it didn't seem like AJ or Phil were in the mood to do so.
AJ was curled up into a little ball watching Phil with sad eyes.
"I'm not mad at you," he said after awhile of both Dean and AJ staring at him, "so you both can stop looking at me like I'm this pitiful thing."
"I'm worried about you, you've been too quiet," she said.
"I don't have anything to say," Phil said, "I just wanna watch the night sky. I'm a million miles away from my daughter."
"Only a couple thousand," AJ shrugged, "I know you miss her."
"I'm missing so much," he said.
"Tell me about her," Dean said.
"Her name is Brooklyn and she's one," he said softly, "Vince and I wanted to start a family right around the time AJ and Celeste were talking about it. Celeste wanted April to contact her brother to donate some sperm so the child she would carry would have a biological link to her."
"Of course I refused my family wanted nothing to do with me when I was a kid, it's no different now," AJ said, "don't give me that look, them not giving a flying fuck led me to my dear Punkers, and he is my brother not the asshole that my parents put through college while he smoked weed and failed physics while I was sent away because they didn't have money to feed another kid."
"Anyway, so AJ asked me to do and Celeste offered to lend and egg in a couple of IVF Cycles, and give Vince and I a child," Phil said, "However it only took one cycle for her to fall pregnant with twins. It was decided that they would get the son Linus, and Vince and I would get Brooke. I am missing so much, their first birthday has come and gone and alls I could manage was a lousy card and build-a-bear."
"Celeste is taping every bit of it for us trust me," AJ said with a smile.
"Tell me you're not missing Hayden, she's only six months old," Phil said.
"You know I am," she said with a big grin, "the kids are in good hands, trust me. Adam and Amy have both moved in to help Celeste so she isn't outnumbered by infants."
"I can't believe you have children," Dean glanced over at AJ.
"What because I am a gay woman?" she cocked her head, "I can't have a kid cause I married a woman and not a man is that what you're trying to say asshole?"
"You know that's not the case, I mean it's because you're a bitch," Dean explained, "I wouldn't have thought there was a motherly bone in your body."
"Well it is and I am," she said softly, "Didn't know notice when I took off for three months or the weight I gained?"
"Nope," Dean popped the "p" on the word, "I was secretly hoping that you had thyroid problems and were quitting because of your weight gain."
"You came to my baby shower in the office," she exclaimed, "You gave me a gift!"
"Admittedly, I only came cause there was cake and I gave you a Starbucks card that Colbs left in my jacket," Dean said, "thought you could use donuts."
"Fuck you!" AJ said.
Dean was about to respond but the sound of dry laughter from Phil stopped him soon the laughter became full on giggles.
"Do the two of you always behave this way?" Punk asked once he recovered from his laughing fit.
"I know you're probably going to say it's dysfunctional, and go on about how you raised me better, but you know I'm not normally like this," AJ said, "it's just something about his stupid little Cabbage Patch kid doll face that just irks me to my core. Then I say some thing and he says something then I say something worse, then he says something else, and I wanna bash his little face in."
Phil just laughed, "I was going to say that it's not a healthy work environment, and I did raise you to be kind courteous and not a raging bitch from hell."
AJ sighed, "A female is assertive and suddenly that makes her a bitch? Don't you know how much hell this one has caused me poking fun at me since the second I fished his ass out of the bay. A strong woman is often labeled as a bitch in a male driven field like this one. And I hate that you're disappointed in me, but you know I can't allow myself to get walked over."
"Hey, I'm not trying to walk over you," he said, "I never stopped to realize that that was why you were so uptight. I made fun of you because you were so uptight. You're the best agent in the field I never understood why you were so miserable at first."
"The job was all I had until I met Celeste," AJ explained, "I am lot happier than when we first met, but I'm just so used to keeping my guard up and being a scowling bitch."
"For the record I never made fun of you because of your gender, I made fun of you because you were uptight," Dean said, "sometimes my charming humor disarms people but it only made you even more prickly."
"See you've been downgraded from raging bitch to prickly," Phil said, "you don't have to be aggressive to be assertive. I didn't know this was the partner you've been complaining about every time we talk the Cabbage Patch kid faced sexist with boy band clothes."
"My clothes are not boy band," Dean said more offended by her describing his clothing incorrectly.
"You do dress like a 90's boy band," Phil laughed before he sighed, "it's been so long since I laughed this hard. You two have my sides hurting, you really need your own buddy cop movie."
"I'm glad you got a good laugh out of it," Dean said, "I know the year hasn't been easy for you."
"The hardest thing was taking Brooke to San Diego to stay with AJ and Celeste when all this shit came out. With Vince getting arrested to the leak of the sex tape then I was all over the papers, I got cops and paparazzi camped out on my lawn at least when I had a lawn. She didn't need to be around all that shit you know, it was the best place for her."
"You're a good dad," Dean said just hearing the way he'd talked about giving her up was the best thing .
"I'm not," Phil hung his head, "I've made so many fucked up choices, I shouldn't have thought I could raise her. I should have just let Ape and Celeste keep her from jump. I nearly folded when Vince got arrested. Wouldn't get out of bed until I heard her crying, then I'd get up and start my day. I've needed her more than she needed me."
"Sometimes it's like that," AJ said, "family needs each other."
"Maybe so, she's my reason right now, I would have given up a long time ago," Phil said, "Ape what about Celeste, she's gonna think I'm dead, what's she gonna tell Brooke?"
"She's one, she won't understand that, nor will she remember this period of time," AJ said.
"There's the internet, and oh fuck the sex tape," Phil sighed.
"We all have things in our past that we're terrified of the kids seeing," AJ said, "I was once an extra in an boy band video, I won't tell you which one because Dean'll never lemme live it down."
Phil said, "You were fully clothed, and not doped up on E."
"I was wearing a rhinestone halter," AJ shrugged, "which is probably worse and I had blue eye shadow."
"Once I get a phone I'm gonna Google that shit for reals," Dean guffawed.
"I did something worse than that," Phil whispered, "remember when I was car jacked, and the guy who broke in my house."
"Lesnar? The man that Mrs. McMahon hired to make your life hell after she found out that you were who Vince had moved in with?" AJ asked.
"Could he be the one who is responsible for the explosion?"
"Doubt it," Phil said, "Brock won't hurt me."
"He beat you up stole your car cut your hair walked into your house one day and was holding Brooke," AJ said, "should I go on?"
"Brooke had gotten outside and the press was taking pictures of her," Phil explained, "he was bringing her back inside."
"Fucking hell you've developed Stockholm syndrome," AJ sighed.
"Have not! You just don't know him like I do," Phil said, "we talked, I think he's in love with me."
"He's obsessed with you, there is a difference," AJ fumed, "you said the same shit about Raven, he wouldn't even let me see you when it got bad. Hell the fact that Vince had you change everything about yourself is probably why you kept him so damn long. Why are you attracted to shit like that? Things didn't work with Ambrose probably because he didn't try to control you."
"Can we drop this okay?" he said, "I know it wasn't Brock who blew up the house, it was his wife, Rena that jealous bitch. She's the one who cut my hair, Brock just had it."
"And carrying it around like a trophy," AJ said, "which makes him just as sick as she is."
"He kept it because he said it was the closest he thought he'd ever get to me," Phil said, "it was the sweetest thing anyone had said to me in so long."
Dean bit the inside of his cheek, he wanted to go after both Brock and Vince for not treating Phil the way they should have. The more he listened the more he hated himself for leaving.
"Did you fuck him?" AJ asked.
"I didn't mean to, it kind of happened," Phil blushed, "I'd just dropped off Brooke and I got a flat tire it was pouring I and I was crying so hard I was in no state to change it so I was calling the auto club when he pulled up. Vince had been gone for a long time, I was pretty lonely and so sad about giving up Brooke. He didn't say anything he changed my tire without a word."
"So you thanked him by stripping down on the backseat?" AJ wanted to know.
"No," Phil said, "he followed me home to make sure I got home safe. Walked me to the door and everything, I invited him in for tea he came in and insisted that he go up and have a shower while I got the kettle warm. I went up to grab his clothes and throw them in the dryer and I saw him through the shower glass just staring at me, all those muscles rippling while he stood there doing nothing his body all wet and I couldn't help myself, I went from zero to slutty."
AJ was quiet she shared a look with Dean who nodded, the two of them had practiced the art of silent conversation over the years that they'd worked together despite their differences.
"It was that I hadn't been touched in so long I needed something or I was gonna shatter," Phil explained.
"I get it," Dean said, "but it doesn't make inviting him in any less dangerous, Mrs. McMahon hired him for a reason. His name comes up in multiple unsolved cases. Many of them murders and there is never enough evidence to tie him to any of them. He could have killed you."
"The point is he didn't, and there is a reason for that," Phil told him, "like it or not he cares about me. And I needed that then. I'd just given up Brooke and Vince had been locked up for five months, and I don't do well on my own. Scott is still working in the UK."
"He hasn't been deported yet?" AJ wanted to know.
"Only because no one has let him anywhere near the palace," Phil explained, "Can't you see him outside screaming for Kate to let go of all this bullshit to be with him."
AJ laughed.
"You could have stayed with us," AJ insisted.
"And bring all that crazy to your doorstep? What if the explosion had happened there? What about the kids?" Phil wanted to know.
"I check my grounds regularly for explosives," AJ said petulantly, "I didn't know you felt like that. You always seemed so together, and it was like none of it was affecting you."
"Do you have feelings for Brock?" Dean asked his eyes anywhere but on Phil's.
"I don't think so," Phil said, "honestly, I don't know who I am anymore. Everything has been this big battle. He was just there and I needed something, and sometimes solace can come from the strangest places."
"I wish you'd told me everything, I could have done something," AJ said, "I could have had him hauled in for questioning at the least."
"He hasn't hurt me in a long time," Phil said, "in years. When he stole my car he picked me up smelled my hair licked my face and set me on the ground and handed me my phone before driving off."
"So basically he's a car jacking Great Dane?" Dean asked.
"You really have shitty taste in men," AJ said.
"Hey!" Dean balked.
"As much as it pains me you're the best out the lot of them. There have been some doozies, poor Ron was sweet but so clueless, then there was Mason the abusive fullback, that weird Swiss guy that smelled of provolone, Cowboy Steve, then need I mention the reason we're all here, philandering decrepit ass Vince, now this shit? Seriously Phil," AJ ranted.
"For starters, Mason never hit me," Phil explained upon seeing Dean's expression.
"There are other types of abuse," AJ pointed out, "none of them are capable of treating you the way you need to be treated."
Dean bit the inside of his cheek, this was completely his fault, he should have tried harder with Punk.
She leaned forward and smacked Dean on the forearm, "You shouldn't have left until you made sure you'd exhausted every possibility, you dropped the ball man!"
"What's past is past," Phil said he wouldn't meet Dean's eyes, "we can't dwell on them especially not now."
"Go to sleep or neither of you will be of any use in the morning, and I'm not carrying your asses," AJ said.
Dean tried to sleep honestly, but he kept thinking about how things might have gone had he stayed with Punk, what kind of life would they have managed, would they have had Brooke would things still have taken that course? Dean had only thought of raising a family in the abstract, long ago when he and Punk were together and happy. Phil slept fitfully, Dean wanted to go to him and hold him but he didn't for fear that it wouldn't be well received.
He was jealous of all the men that had had Punk since he had been gone, all the men who'd had him he fretted over the fact that he might have loved them. If he was in love with that hulking goon that had done so many shitty things to him over the past number of months, he was blazing with jealousy. He made a solemn promise to himself that when this was over he'd set things right that he'd try harder he wouldn't push too much. He wouldn't give ultimatums he'd just let Punk take his time.
Morning came and the plane had landed on a little dusty airstrip in the middle of nowhere, Dean had fallen asleep before the plane landed Phil was still curled up on the seat, both AJ and the pilot was gone. Dean drew his weapon from his boot and stalked to the door of the plane, it was ajar letting in an early morning breeze that was muggy and right off the water of a near by a river of a bayou.
An old burgundy grand Marquis pulled around into the grassy area beside the air strip, Dean kept his weapon his right hand ready to raise it. AJ climbed out of the car and Dean relaxed sheathing his weapon this time in his pants.
"You didn't wake us when we landed," Dean said.
"You looked like you could use the sleep, besides I needed to get wheels," AJ said softly.
"Where the hell are we?" Dean glanced around.
"Miles from nowhere," AJ responded, "wake up your boy we still got a long way to go and there is a diner down the way we can grab some breakfast and head on down to our destination.
After they were fed and had been driving for about four hours, on a long stretch of highway the names of the towns Dean couldn't pronounce.
"Why couldn't we just fly all the way to wherever the hell you're taking us?" Phil complained slouched over the backseat, "where you still won't tell us."
"Yes, why are we gifted with the treat of having you drive us to our destination?" Dean chose his words carefully.
AJ glanced at him her dark hair falling over her shoulder, "Was that a knock on my driving? I'll have you know I'm a damn good driver. The alignment on this ancient car is off."
The car swerved as she said this, and Punk made a noise in the backseat that sounded like dry heaving.
"He gets really car sick on long trips, you know that," Dean said looking at Phil in concern his heart ached to see him like this thin and wan his long mane of silky dark hair gone so different from the beautiful man he'd knew before and yet exactly the same, "you could at least keep it in the road."
AJ pumped the brakes slinging Jon forward in his seat caught up in his seat belt and cursing loudly and sending Phil topping to the car floor, "We're almost there, quit your bitching you're both acting like little girls."
"We're acting like little girls?" Phil shouted from behind them, "You say you're going to protect me, then you drive like a maniac and try to fucking kill me. But then I remember as far as anyone knows I'm already dead."
"Punk is dead," AJ said, "you're currently Phillip Jackson, and you're very much alive."
"Fuck you," Phil said sneering at the mention of his new name the last was a play on his father's name Dean knew well the two had never gotten along, which made him wonder how Phil's family was taking the news of his 'death'.
"Where the fuck are we?" Dean asked, "this looks like a set from the Hill Have Eyes."
"We're almost there," AJ hit the gas and they were speeding along, once more.
Dean finally saw a road sign, they were ten miles from a town called Metairie, since he had no phone, he couldn't Google shit, and since he'd never heard of it, and he'd seen more than his share of cotton fields and corn he'd only assume he was somewhere southern, and the fact that it was humid as balls when they landed in the little unknown airstrip and when they stopped for gas Dean didn't bother with anything he just went in to pee wondering what to say to Phil they needed to talk and soon.
AJ suddenly turned off the main highway onto a dirt road which was smoother riding than the actual highway, he'd be glad when her jerky ass driving stopped. Why didn't she let him drive? He was a decent driver who didn't own a car because they were a fucking hassle.
"You okay back there," AJ asked.
"Pull over," came the grunt from Phil.
"We're almost there," AJ said.
He started to open the door and before AJ could pull over and stop Phil was out of the car and throwing up in the grass.
Dean got out of the car, and stood with him when he was done he handed the man a bottle of water.
"You okay?" he asked again.
"I hate long car trips especially when I don't know where I'm going," Phil said, "and that girl is the worst driver I've ever fucking seen."
"Heard that!" she called, "Sorry you puked. Got some Pepto and crackers in my purse. I stayed so nauseous last year when I was pregnant with Hayden. Now I never leave home without it."
"I am better now, can I drive the rest of the way?"
"Will it stop you from blowing chunks in a confined space?"
"Yes," Phil said.
"Alright," AJ said, "Switch!" she wiggled over into Dean's lap and Phil wiggled over the console into the driver's seat, and she wiggled out Dean's lap into the backseat.
"Just keep going straight they're waiting for us," AJ said.
"They?" Phil questioned.
"You'll meet them when we get in," AJ said, "not to mention your all new wardrobe will be there."
"I lost everything in the explosion," Phil said.
"I took the liberty of ordering you a few items," AJ said.
"I'm nervous to see what she's gotten and excited all the time," Phil said looking at the white tee and baggy athletic shorts and sandals he was wearing.
"Where am I going April?"
"Straight for once," she said, "just follow the road up, there will be an old antebellum plantation up ahead. They'll be expecting us. We're late, our ETA was twenty minutes ago. Thanks to all the pukey heart to hearts."
"Fuck you," Phil said.
"Thanks but no thanks," AJ said.
"You were right about this car," Phil said, "the alignment is off. It's hard for me to hold it in the road."
"See," AJ said, "I know that was a dig at my strength. But I'll have you know that I've knocked out men twice your size."
Phil looked at Dean.
"I have seen it," Dean said, "she's not to be fucked with. The my first day with her we were in the field she took out six members of this sect of the Russian mob. She knocked this big Russian brute out with a well placed knee to the face."
"Good times," AJ said, "that was the human trafficking ring. I was a good little hostage until they pissed me off, and then the bitchy blonde chick, I made her wet herself."
"How'd you do that?" Jon said.
"Well, I took two fingers and I-" AJ started.
"Whoa!" Dean said.
"Forgive her she's got the tendency to over share," Phil said.
"You two are so gross I'm happy married woman with the breast milk to prove it," she snapped.
"I have to know," Dean said, "what did you do with your fingers."
"I don't think you deserve to know," AJ said petulantly.
Before anyone could respond the ominous moss trees rose up lining the roadside along with a white picket fence, a few hundred more feet the house was visible half shrouded by trees in the beginning. It was beautiful but ramshackle, and Jon couldn't help but gape, even further when he saw the man waiting on the porch rocking slowly.
There were others around two burly bearded guys working on an old Ford, a heavily pregnant brunette standing in the doorway that he didn't recognize while he knew the man in the rocking chair well.
"Really, Mendez?"
"If you're going to still call me by a last name," AJ said, "it's Lee now."
"AJ!" Dean fumed but the little bitch was already out of the car.
"What the hell?" Phil asked parking the car, "That's Rotunda, he looks hella creepy now."
" A lot has changed for him since he brought me into the Bureau he resigned a few years ago," Dean sighed rolling his neck, "he was the best at undercover shit, until he got caught up."
"Caught up in what?"
"See the woman on the porch?"
"Yeah," Phil said, "looks like she's due any second."
"Remember Senator Cena?"
"Ran for Pres a few years back as independent, said he loved the kids, but they found out about his using kids for drug trafficking and the eighteen mistresses he had," Phil said, "What he won was a twenty year bid in a max security prison and a hefty divorce settlement for his wife."
"Correct," Dean said, "she's mistress number three. They fell in love during the sting. He got her a plea deal and she testified against Cena. Been together ever since."
"Guess we better get in there," Phil said softly putting on his new accent it was softer sweeter than the one he'd used earlier, Dean found it to be completely arousing and so different from Phil's normal accent.
"I think you found the right one," Dean said biting his lower lip.
Phil grinned like a wolf, "It just came to me."
AJ was talking to Rotunda and the pregnant woman on the porch, who hobbled down the rickety steps with a bright smile just as Phil was opening the door.
"I was so excited when Bray told me his cousins was coming to visit," she said excitedly, "you must be Phillip, I've heard all about you. I'm Nikki, Bray's old lady."
"I wouldn't believe a word," Phil said charmingly, "Bray told me a lot about you too, he didn't say you were so beautiful."
"I wouldn't believe a word either," Nikki grinned.
"It was all good things," Rotunda explained, "all those summers on the bayou with aunt Abigail."
Phil smiled, "I woulda made it back for her funeral...but I couldn't leave Jackson."
"I was out in Florida when she passed," Rotunda said, "Bo was with her, he took it hard. Dropped out of college messed his whole world up. Momma and Daddy have been gone since he was a baby, she was all he had no memories of them."
"My folks weren't the greatest, hell she raised me too," Phil said falling into the back-story easily, "how is Bo?"
"He's good got him a new boyfriend off in Cape Town, they go sky diving race motorcycles," Rotunda said, "For such a timid kid he's certainly making up for it now."
"Agreed," Phil said.
"You been keeping little sister out of trouble?" Rotunda nodded at AJ.
"I try," Phil said, AJ grinned from the porch, "but you know how that goes."
"My old room still empty?" was her only response before heading in the house.
"Got your bed made up, let me help put your things away," Nikki offered, "Guest room is ready too,
"Nicole, let them boys get their things in," Bray chided, "I don't need you going in to preterm labor. I want me a thirteen pound baby boy."
"She's a girl," Nikki said bossily, "I'm not an invalid I can bring a suitcase into the house."
"No need we traveled light," Dean responded he'd been taking in the conversation and decided to smooth the rough edges out.
"Lets get you inside and cleaned up for lunch," Nikki said mostly to Phillip as they walked on ahead onto the porch, "I got king ranch chicken English pea salad and peach cobbler for dessert and I must know absolutely everything going with you in in the city."
"Baby you know there's nothing new in New Orleans," Bray said lagging behind with Dean.
"Promise once baby girl is born you'll take me for a weekend in the French Quarter," Nikki gave Bray puppy eyes.
"When our son is born, we'll have our hands full," Bray said, "and fixing this old house up so our boy can be proud of this place."
"We would love to watch the baby while you guys take a weekend off, wouldn't we Philly?" AJ said sweetly from where she leaned against the door.
"Of course it'll bring back memories of sitting for the Boudreaux's," Phil smirked, "they still live on the other side of the marsh?"
"No, they checked out right after Katrina, moved up to Zachary," Bray said, "they sold me their land real cheap, Bo was gonna build out there but Aunt Abigail passed and he left so it's just vacant."
The made their way up the porch steps, Dean could tell Bray had been working on the house. The porch steps were in the process of being sanded after being replaced, it was a lovely home and it could be the pride of the south with a little more work and a fresh coat of paint. Dean was never one to sit around, swinging a hammer might make him feel less useless this summer.
"I am half starved, I can smell that cobbler from here," AJ said.
"Come on in y'all none of that being shy we're all family," Bray said.
The back porch door led into the kitchen, which was cozy. An antique china cabinet and a rotary phone was dominating the wall near the hall stairs. There was what looked like a painted antique table in the center of the room, the cabinets were rustic but in good shape, a big white farm sink framed by a large picture window that over looked the yard and the big wrap around porch. The walls were most curious, the home repair had spread to the kitchen they'd been painted yellow had had little tomatoes that were at the border and wainscoting the moldings were painted a soft green found in the tomato patter. The table and chairs were painted green at the legs cabinets and all painted the same green and the table cloth was pretty yellow lace and neatly pressed.
The floors were polished and restored hardwood and very beautiful.
"Welcome to our home," Nikki said proudly, "Bray and I have been working for a while to get this place into great shape. There is a bathroom through the den there if anyone needs to wash up. Bray will show you upstairs, there are some packages that arrived this morning for you all, they're in the bedrooms. I'll get lunch warmed up."
"I'll hit the head," AJ said, "be up in a second."
"You're in the second door on the right at the top of the stairs," Nikki said turning her attention to the pretty gas range.
"Sweet," AJ said disappearing through the archway.
Dean and Phil followed Bray upstairs, the first door at the top of the stairs was a bathroom, Dean learned this when Phil went inside it.
"I'm gonna get cleaned up," Phil said.
"The hot water is still tricky, you gotta let it run for a bit to get it warmed up," Bray said, "but there are clean towels on the shelf."
"In this heat I wouldn't be opposed to taking a cold shower," Phil said.
"I'd do the same," Bray said, "You got clothes in the mail, Nikki opened them and washed a few things. they're folded on the bed next door."
Phil nodded and shut himself into the bathroom.
"You two will bunk together, I hope it's not a problem," Bray told Dean, "we're using the room Phil and Bo used to stay for the nursery. By the way did you ever make an honest man out of Phillip?"
"Wanted to but I got a new job, we lost touch...moved on," Dean said with a vague bit of truth.
"The job does that," Bray said, "it brought me the love of my life, I knew to hold onto her I'd have to get out to hold on to her."
"It's too late for us now," Dean said sadly.
"Maybe not, you're here now, with him," Bray said.
Dean sighed, "Hope is a dangerous thing when it comes to that one."
Bray opened the door to a little room just as the shower turned on the bathroom.
"This is it," Bray said, "I'll see you downstairs."
Dean nodded. Two large boxes were in the corner of the room that was dominated by a rickety wrought iron bed there was a large bureau off to the right of a large window with a seat there was another window on the otherside of the room but it contained and window AC unit. Dean turned it on and walked over to sit in the window seat. Upon arriving at this ramshackle house, he was able to appreciate the beauty of it, he'd never taken time to look at what surrounded him, he'd been so fucking focused on his career especially after leaving Punk behind.
He let out out a deep breath unable to stop blaming himself for this whole mess. He had to stop doing that it wasn't good for any of them. He had to fix this, one thing was for certain he still wanted him and he'd avoided and denied it since he'd been rejected the second time after following Punk home after the scene they'd caused at Joe and Colby's wedding.
There had been no one since that stirred him like that, no one he'd taken to bed, he'd not as much looked at anyone else, he'd dug his heels in and been a stubborn jackass because there was no one else who could make him feel that fire and he wanted it again, but he couldn't Phil was still dealing with Punk's issues and those were extensive.
The door opened revealing Phil clad in just a towel, a shy look on his face when Dean glanced over at him. His still wet torso had Dean licking his lips, even without the tattoos he was still the same, yet so different. Dean's fingers itched to touch the smooth wet skin to untie the towel at his waist and let it slip to the floor cup that firm ass and pull Phil close to him. He wanted to chase the droplets of water around Phil's belly that were teasing him with his tongue.
"I know I look different," Phil said softly, going over to the neatly folded clothes on the bed, "I've let myself go."
"You could do with a lot more rest and food," Dean said, "trust me I will make sure you get both."
Phil nodded his attention on the clothes now.
"You're still sexy as hell," Dean said his voice low.
Phil glanced up shocked, dropping some shorts onto the bed.
"You heard me," Dean said, "sexy as hell. It doesn't matter how much time passes or how little you've been taking care of yourself, you are still gorgeous."
"I'm too skinny," he said softly.
"Still beautiful, and the skinny part is easily remedied," Dean reminded him, "whatever Nikki is cooking smells amazing, and you'll eat all that she puts on your plate."
"Dean!" Phil squeaked out cheeks flushed, "you can't use that tone and get all authoritative."
"Why not?" Dean asked, "You're much more inclined to listen if I do."
"Dean," Punk said softly, to be honest, Dean hadn't torn his eyes away from his a glance downward at his arousal straining against the towel.
"Oh..." Dean said.
"I'm a mess," Phil said, "a guy tells me I'm beautiful, and shows a bit of discipline and concern I'm hard as a rock."
"You're not a mess," Dean said rising from the window seat, "when you walked in I was thinking all sorts of things that I shouldn't have. Wanted to get that towel off you, chase those drops of water with my tongue. None of those things are what you really need right now. I'm going to go down...stairs and let you get dressed."
Dean pressed quick kiss to Phil's short hair and darted out of the room shutting the door behind himself, what in the hell had he gotten himself into. The raging hard on desperate in his jeans, was proof enough that someone part of him needed to do all those things he imagined doing with Phil. It wouldn't solve anything, he knew that all too well. He was still in love with Phil and he wasn't a hundred percent sure who had Phil's heart. All it would do was make the wound even deeper make his heart hurt worse than the day he'd gotten on that chopper.